Post by MadStepDad on Apr 23, 2011 12:40:25 GMT -5
"THE REAL WORLDS CHAMPION"
We are interrupting your regularly scheduled Draft Viewing to bring you LIVE from Broken City where BOBBY "the BRAIN" HEENAN has called together an impromptu press conference.
HEENAN: Right now I've heard enough from CENA & THESZ! Right now I'm gonna introduce The Man. The Man that put wrestling on the map! The man who has made everyone in BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING shake! The man who has made everyone here sit on the edge of their chairs waiting for his arrival...
Now if you'll all stand, and show the proper respect... (you dummy, go get the carpet - the red one). Roll it out let's do it right this time. What am I doing? Relax. It's not like MSD coming out.. where everybody's just "here's MSD!" Whoopee, big deal. I'm gonna show you the proper way to introduce somebody. This is the royal treatment.
(harasses the stage hand unfolding the red carpet further) You got it clean? K' move off the set.
Now it's time...
LIVE and in living color, the GREATEST world's heavyweight champion in the history of this great sport...and it's my pleasure to introduce... you got it... the REAL worlds champion...
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS!!!!!
(stand up! There ya go, stand! Everybody stand!)
The strut!
The feathered robe!
The bleached blond hair and California tan!
You've seen it before, but you've never seen it like this. The O.G. of the game. The real Nature Boy. Hailing from the Murder Capital, Camden NJ. Here in BCCW to answer the Broken City Throwdown. Holla @ your boy! The REAL World's Champion:
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS!!!!!!
6'4", dressed to the nines, everything custom tailored, Calloused hands manicured, with a huge diamond pinkie ring. He is smoking a Cohiba Behike cigar.
BUDDY ROGERS was born in Camden, New Jersey (he is fluent in the German he learned from his immigrant parents) and began wrestling at the local YMCA when he was 8. Ten years later in 1939 he won his professional debut at the Garden Pier in Atlantic City, and proceeded through victories in his first 47 matches before losing to Ed "Strangler" Lewis in Philadelphia in 1941. Rogers captured scores of sectional titles in his 24-year career before he won the NWA heavyweight title before a packed Comiskey Park on June 30, 1961. Two years later he captured the first championship of Vince McMahon, Sr.'s fledgling World-Wide Wrestling Federation.
Accompanying HEENAN and "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS to the press conference is this man:
WADE BARRETT
HEENAN (still playing to the crowd, crowing about his accomplishment): Do you think this "Brain" thing is a gimmick???
BUDDY ROGERS isn't here to answer questions. He's here to make a statement. BOBBY "the BRAIN" HEENAN rests Rogers' World Title on the press conference table and begins dispensing a 3-page laminated BUDDY ROGERS brochure to the press. Get up on your game, rookies. Here are the highlights from the press conference...
view brochure here:
madstepdad.tripod.com/nature_boy_buddy_rogers_brochure/index.album/buddy_rogers_1?i=0
REGARDING THE BROKEN CITY THROWDOWN
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS[/color] (in his rolling southern NJ accent):This particular war will end up with... you see, there's too many Caesars in Rome. And Rome has to fall apart - or the Caesars have to eat each other up in order to accomplish what they set out to do. The worst that can come out of this .... Diamond Dynasty... we'll get the whole East Coast.
HEENAN: If you're poor and you do something stupid, you're nuts. If you're rich and do something stupid, you're eccentric.
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: See, Thesz won't let Cena get any bigger than Thesz is, and Cena won't let Theszget any bigger than Cena is. They both want to devour Mil Mascaras, but instead of uniting -- saying, 'Hey man, the hell with this personality struggle, let's eat that son of a bitch up' -- which they're very capable of doing -- well, daddy, you take it from me: Cena and Thesz will be at each others throats the moment one gets bigger than the other. [/color]
HEENAN: If a guy sticks his hand out to you, shake it..and then kick him real hard when he's not looking.
WADE BARRETT nods in agreement
REGARDING JOHN CENA
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: He came out with the flash. And we were all ticked off at him, but see, he'd never wrestle guys like myself, or Lou Thesz, or Bobby Managoff -- you know, great names. He stayed away from us. We wanted to wrestle him, but -- see, he's like the WWE is doing now, putting Cyndi Lauper, Mickey Rourke and Mr. T in there. See? You're mixing the batch. What happens when Mr. T says to you, 'I'm not going to lose a fall, I can't afford to lose a fall in Madison Square Garden?' What are you gonna do, beat him up? Like hell you are.... John Cena has a big fantasy world around him. Every promoter wants him, because he can pack the house. But, see, when you put bullshit into the house, remember what's comin' out -- it ain't gonna be wine and roses. After three years, the bullshit waned away, and there wasn't anything left -- and guess what? He has to resort to that good old word called - "Wrestling". He's just overexposed, he doesn't use television well. Let me tell you something, the way he has handled T.V., it hasn't done wrestling any good. Where does rock-and-roll fit in with wrestling? Wouldn't you have to be pretty stupid to inhale what he's putting across -- and have a love for wrestling? How long do you think what he's doing is going to resemble wrestling? "What does it say on the canopy over the Garden, 'Wrestling,' or 'Rock and Roll'? The two don't mix. Can you imagine if Cyndi Lauper managed Muhammad Ali? How long would it last before the public would say, 'Bullshit, what are they doing?' [/color]
HEENAN: It'll take a good man to beat him... it just won't take him very long.
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: What's he creating? You're never going to get me -- and I've got as much ability in wrestling as anybody living -- to believe that rock-and-roll is the salvation of wrestling. They're thriving on bullshit. How long do you think Floyd Mayweather is going to jump in the ring and take a punch at a 280-pound wrestler, and he flies eight rows out into the seats? You know, there's such a thing as insulting even an idiot's ability to think. If you're trying to educate suckers, you'd better make sure you have an answer for them when they wake up and find out. We never got along. I basically admire John Cena for the chutzpah that he had, to create what he did, but I can't admire him because he is invoking this bullshit into my business, that I made a livelihood out of. In other words, 'You build a stew, and I'm going to piss in it.' He was pissing in my stew. I know it can't last long, in fact I am highly surprised that he's lasted as long as it has.[/color]
HEENAN: It's a dog eat dog world. And JOHN CENA is a Milk Bone.
WADE BARRETT chuckles knowingly
ON WHO THE MOVIE "THE WRESTLER" IS REALLY BASED ON:
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: Gorgeous George. He was managed by a guy on the West Coast named Johnny Doyle, and when Doyle -- see, when you got flesh-peddlers like McMahon, Crockett, guys like that, they only utilize you when you're hot. Look at Bob Backlund -- greatest example in the world. When he was hot, boy, they were for him. The minute that sucker couldn't draw, they couldn't grind him up fast enough. When George went, he went altogether. His name was George Wagner, he came out of Columbus, Ohio, a little farm area. Died on the Coast. The day that he died, the next day we wrestled in Dallas, and they passed a hat around to the guys that could afford it, and we all contributed to bury him. He passed away at a bar that he once owned -- he'd owned a bar, a motel, everything in this whole complex -- bumming drinks from the bartender that he had once hired. True story. He died insolvent. A very sad, sad ending. You see, they leave out the real meaty things that the public should know about. Here's a guy, when times were tough to make a buck, he made millions -- I watched him light cigars with hundred-dollar bills -- not once, several times -- and I thought to myself, 'Boy, there'll come a day when he'll wish he had that hundred.' And that day came, and I lived to watch when that day came. [/color]
REGARDING HIS OWN GANGSTER CREDENTIALS
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: I had more riots that any one wrestler in the 'fifties. In Washington, D.C., I got knifed in the back. Remember Bobby Davis? He was my road manager, Bobby Davis. I said, 'Bobby, get that hot cigar off my back!' He said, 'What do you mean?', and so he came around the other side of me, and there's a big knife, just a wooden handle sticking out. [/color]
Rogers pulls down his collar to show the scar on his back
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: I got stabbed in Mexico, St. Louis -- in fact it goofed up my ulnar nerve. Well, hey, I didn't mind fighting and riots, just so I didn't get stabbed in the eyes and get blinded. . . . It was a lot of fun. I wouldn't trade my life for any other athlete, for a lot of people I knew from day one. And I knew that I'd be the best at what I did, and even till this day I know that I was the best at what I did. I feel that, and no one can ever erase that thought. [/color]
HEENAN: The two things that scare me most about wrestling fans is that they're allowed to vote and allowed to reproduce.
WADE BARRETT laughs condescendingly
REGARDING LOU THESZ- HIS "UNDISPUTED" CHAMPIONSHIP & HIS COMMENTS REGARDING HIGH-DEFINITION TV
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: [He] didn't have any idea that T.V. was going to make wrestling so big. All of us were very anti-television at the start, because we thought we were giving away our livelihood. We all thought that people would not come to the arena to watch the matches when they could get it for free at home. And a lot of us were reluctant to -- I was reluctant to sign up for the next 13 weeks. But after I got going about six or seven weeks, I'd walk into towns, and everyone would know me, whereas before only a wrestler would know me. And the longer it went on, the stronger it got. [/color]
WADE BARRETT smugly adjusts his Brioni necktie
WHY HE'S HERE IN BCCW
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: I locked up with a guy that's one of the most popular (or unpopular) guys in wrestling, MSD. The MADSTEPDAD -- when he fought for you, boy he was all blood and guts. I had everyone and his brother come up to me and say, 'Buddy, why don't you leave that son of a bitch, he's no good.' My answer to them was, 'Hey, he's working for me, and I know he's a son of a bitch, but remember he's my son of a bitch.' "He came to me. We never signed a contract, never had an ounce of ink. We shook hands. And we both lived by the sword, and we did what was right. [/color]
HEENAN: This guy makes coffee nervous.
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: See, you don't have fidelity in this business today. And it stems from the promoters on down. The promoters are flesh-peddlers, overrated whores. You can't go by what somebody promises, you're only going to be utilized, and used when you're hot. And the moment you're not, you'd better say a prayer, and hope for something new, because they don't warn you, they just knock it out from under you. To a nicer guy, it couldn't happen.[/color]
The DIAMOND DYNASTY!!!
__________________________________________________
CREDITS:
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS: Sleeperhold Part III by Ray Tennenbaum
BOBBY HEENAN: Misc Heenan quotes from WWF Primetime[/i][/center]
[/center]