Post by MadStepDad on Jun 21, 2012 13:31:58 GMT -5
Cut to the in-studio host for the show:
SAMMI LANE
SAMMI LANE: I'm a psychology major, which speaks a bit about me as a person. I'm just a girl who likes to kick ass! Sometimes I'm a heel, sometimes I'm a baby face. Whatever it is, I still go out there and have a blast! I saw how driven the French Angel was ...with passion and energy...and really inspired me. I knew I wanted to do the same. That's why I'll be accompanying him to the ring @ "BiB2" when we take down the Black Army - and again tonight when we kickstart the festivities with a tag team main event match!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________
POGO the CLOWN versus HAYSTACKS CALHOUN
(“Buried Alive Match”)
versus
Hard sell match for the PPV (putting over the whole “Baptized in Blood” ritualistic motif), and another gloriously camp-filled horror abomination of a sketch… What Calhoun and Pogo lack in genuine wrestling “skill” - they more than make up for in sheer TV presence... This violent (yet thankfully short) and brutish brawl takes place in some backwoods cabin setting straight out of a horror movie… the inclination is clear as the (inferred) child-molesting, mass murderer Pogo the Clown has been stalking teenage victims in route to confronting his ultimate target (and the man who beat him in a “Bodybag Match” @ “Scene of the Crime”) HAYSTACKS CALHOUN… but in this case, the dark tide of evil is too much to stem for the affable country boy - who finds his heart stricken by the intense fear that pervades the entire scene… BARBED-WIRE SHOVEL SHOT to Haystack’s head, breaking the weapon upon impact! Calhoun is DEAD and Pogo the Clown (in his final, dramatic display of inhuman strength) gets the massive corpse rolled out into the field where a massive, hand-dug hole in the ground doubles as Haystacks grave tonight… Pogo methodically fills the hole in with dirt… and with each shovel-full of earth he symbolically represents the rise of the Black Army in fantasy wrestling - putting the past to rest in it’s shallow grave one body at a time…
Winner: POGO THE CLOWN
** CUT **
_______________________________________________________
"XXXtremely yourz, Lizzy Borden & Shane Douglas"
Quick, backstage promo with a cackling Shane Douglas (and beguiling Lizzy Borden) introducing the next piece... all throughout their monologue, you can see Chyna passed out on a couch behind them... hilarious because Shane & Lizzy completely no-sell that, while at the same time tout Chyna as being "on top of her game"... including this little romp with John Cena..
"John Cena stars in porn with Chyna" is what the headlines read.
The reality - Lizzy Borden directed this straight-to-video cult classic video (starring Chyna) instead
A parody of the WWE Royal Rumble, WAFU Mega Brawl or XPW Remixed "Slaughtahouse Stampede" match - a collection of wrestling themed porn actors enter the ring to do battle with Chyna. Yes, there is indeed a porn actor masquerading as "John Cena".
Chyna "wins" the gangbang scenes in case you couldn't guess, but it's a shame she couldn't stay concious long enough to tell us about her victory.
** SHANE DOUGLAS (2002) versus JOHN CENA (2012) **
** Title Unification bout **
Only @ "BiB2"!!!
**CUT **
*************
** Coming soon to XPW Remixed **
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
"MSD interviews the "Universal Hearthrob"
MSD: Ladies and gentleman, Austin Idol!
AUSTIN IDOL: Yeah baby, the “Universal Hearthrob”!
MSD: How has your fantasy wrestling experience in XPW Remixed open other doors for you?
AUSTIN IDOL: This past summer I participated in the 12th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos… this one started at 2:17 in the morning. It was an incredible experience. The Insane Clown Posse, those guys are geniuses. They respect old school wrestling.
MSD: Explain the breakdown between you and ex-partner Phil “Gunner” Shatter, and the dissolution of the (Real) Kings of Wrestling?
AUSTIN IDOL: I had a chip on my shoulder for a while because I was taking this pounding and beating for so long… I was mentally and physically beaten down for 11 months. I just wouldn’t quit. It was a hard lesson, but a good one.
MSD: Who’s been your biggest influence thus far in XPW Remixed?
AUSTIN IDOL: Buddy Rogers. There was never another Buddy Rogers. He was light years ahead of his time. Ric Flair took the figure-four from Buddy Rogers, and I took it from Jack Brisco, who got it from Eddie Graham who got it from Buddy Rogers.
MSD: So do you have any props for superstars of today and tomorrow? Or is it true you consider it all a sort of plagiarism?
AUSTIN IDOL: I did the thing with my hand where I would paint-brush my face… (“U can’t see me”) I got that from Muhammed Ali, and Ali got that from Gorgeous George.
MSD: You embarked on a short-lived solo career when Shatter was injured… how did that affect the team dynamic?
AUSTIN IDOL: He was out for about three weeks. He should’ve stayed out for two months, but he wanted to come back. I said “Stay out, man. The longer you stay out the bigger this thing will be”… He couldn’t take it and came back early, but it still turned out big.
MSD: And now his despicable treatment of Jessica Darlin as of late… your thoughts on that? How does that make you feel?
AUSTIN IDOL: White-hot to kill somebody… a coward runs away to live another day. But @ “BiB2”, Gunner won’t have anywhere left to run when I get my hands on that traitor!
Cue entrance theme of Jessica Darlin - and the former valet to the (Real) Kings of Wrestling tag team makes her way to the ring… she pleads with Austin Idol to show remorse, saying Gunner can’t be held responsible for his actions… Idol & Shatter have a nice repartee, but out of nowhere! - Phil “Gunner” Shatter makes the sneak-attack run-in! He blindsides Idol from the rear, driving him into Jessica Darlin with concussive force - slamming her to the mat where she remains unmoving! Phil Shatter beats down Austin Idol in the ring! In a slow dramatic reveal, Gunner goes for the kill on Idol… only to relent… and grab Jessica Darlin instead! Piledriver position on Darlin, her skirt falling to her head - exposing her thong! Austin Idol looks up and pleads with Gunner to relent! But he doesn’t! BAM! He drives Darlin into the mat with a piledriver! Gunner quickly flees while Austin Idol dives to Darlin’s side! He is aghast and ENRAGED over Gunner’s actions! But Gunner is remorseless, smiling cruelly… he grabs a house mic to rub salt further into the wound - and UP their ante of their PPV match.. Phil “Gunner” Shatter is the “Universal Soldier” and there can be only one! “LAST MAN STANDING” MATCH! In his rage, Idol accepts! It’s going to be a WAR @ “Baptized in Blood 2”!!
Austin Idol (1982) versus Phil "Gunner" Shatter (2013)
Last Man Standing Match!!!
Only @ BiB2!!
** CUT **
_______________________________________________________________
PG-13 on the Titan Tron show off their new attitude.
MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS versus PG-13
versus
The now-unbelievably braggadocios, insanely-annoying, “Malibu’s Finest” x10 version of PG-13 make their entrance first… full wigger swagger… brief promo recapping their beat down of JTG and reiterating their new mission statement of being taken seriously (see XPW Online #19)… their magnum opus is greeted by MACHINE GUN FIRE and the blazing, pyrotechnic entrance of the MCMG!! All action - non stop… PG-13 get a few sleazy offensive spots, but it’s mostly all Sabin & Shelley… tag team wrestling clinic… a series of coordinated strikes and synchronized dives eject Wolfie D from the ring and lock JC Ice Baby in a crazy submission hold for the finish… JC Ice Baby can’t tap fast enough… big statement win for the MCMG, heading into their world title match @ “BiB2”…
Winners: MCMG
But in the midst of their victorious celebration, the MCMG are interrupted by “Wild” Red Berry striding out onto the entrance ramp… the manager extraordinaire has some choice (encyclopedic) words for the MCMG… very disparaging and insulting… but of course it’s just a set up - getting Sabin & Shelley so heated over his inflammatory words that they don’t even notice the FabKangs rushing them from the rear (through the crowds)… wearing their Australian street clothes (including funny hats and stylish boots) the FabKangs run a number on Sabin & Shelley climaxing in the FabKangs modified version of a 3D (the last one driving Sabin THROUGH Shelley who was resting on a table)… FabKangs & Berry pose and hold up their title belts, while Sabin & Shelley writhe in pain amidst the wreckage of a smashed table… FabKangs are serenaded with boos and pelted with trash as they pull the old “Please remain silent for the [insert random foreign] national anthem” bit to end the segment…
** MATCH SEGUE **
________________________________________________________________
BAM BAM BIGELOW (w/ Wild Red Berry) versus
TOMMASO CIAMPA
w/ versus
The ring stay lay in shambles – a reminder of the attack from the previous segment… destroyed table debris and rubble everywhere… in the middle of the madness stands “Wild” Red Berry, like a maestro of mayhem… behind him his giant “Beast from the East” stalks the ring like an animal… Berry brags about this tag team champion FabKangs, and his ruthless mercenary Bam Bam Bigelow!
BAM BAM BIGELOW:
I like to beat up on people! Lucky for me, I’ve always been able to get paid for doing it! And in XPW Remixed I get paid really big bucks just for slapping punks around! I think that is the best of all worlds!
Open challenge… cut to brief video vignette in the back… the dark, shadowy recesses of the backstage entrance ramp – Tommaso Ciampa is gathered there beside Olympia trainee Alexxis Neveah (who appears to be attempting to tearfully convince him NOT to go)… quick words with William Muldoon who looks Ciampa dead in the eye and tells him he doesn’t have to do this… but Ciampa’s face remains stoic as he shrugs Muldoon and Nevaeh off and storms through the entrance curtains to answer Berry’s challenge… Bam Bam Bigelow takes him down with a trash can to start… the Xtremity continues with such off-the-wall weaponry as mailboxes, ironing boards, cookie sheets, hockey sticks, fire extinguishers, and cups of beer being used… Random “XPW! XPW!” and “BAM BAM!” chants from the crowd… the other half of the time, the audience is busy hissing at Wild Red Berry and serenading him with boos… A table was brought in, which Wild Red Berry gleefully directs Bam to drive Ciampa through… Alexxis Nevaeh came into the ring, to protect her brother Tommaso Ciampa from going through the table – but Wild Red Berry shoved Alexxis Nevaeh out of the way and BROKE his cane over Tommaso Ciampa’s skull!! Another table was brought in, with Bam Bam teasing putting Alexxis through it… Wild Red Berry threw in a roll of athletic tape to Bam Bam Bigelow (the sadistic intentions clear, as Bam Bam backs up the diminutive Nevaeh)… Out of seemingly nowhere, Alexxis Nevaeh unleashed a BLAST from a fire extinguisher to Bigelow’s FACE! She escapes, but Tommaso Ciampa does not… he struggles to fight back, but the cane shot was debilitating... a concussive series of headbutts from Bigelow fells Ciampa; laying him out on the table… Bam Bam Bigelow hits a flying headbutt off the top rope (THROUGH Ciampa and the table) for the definitive pinfall… Bam Bam Bigelow & Wild Red Berry pose… Alexxis Neveah tends to Ciampa post match…
Winner: BAM BAM BIGELOW
** CUT **
______________________________________________________________
"Man with the Book"
“Real Deal” Damien Steele enters (w/ secretary Jasmin St Claire)… Paul Bowser may have made the management decision to decide the XPW Commissioners office @ BiB2... But for now, Steele still has the book - and that’s the “real deal”… he references the past segment, and says if the Olympia (Muldoon's camp including Nevaeh & Ciampa) want to continue interfering in matches, they will pay the price... Alexxis Nevaeh TONIGHT you will meet a DEBUTING FORCE in XPW Remixed! And Steele's ppv opponent at BiB2 (“Solid Man” William Muldoon) can’t compete for the commissioners office title if he never makes the show! That’s why Damien Steele is ordering him to compete right HERE TONIGHT! Or risk forfeit of his PPV match!
Enter “Solid Man” William Muldoon, proud wrestler and head coach of the Olympia fight camp… he addresses Steele on the mic from the ramp - this isn’t just a battle between NY/MA & CA… it’s a battle between filth & decency! Speaking of filth, introducing Muldoon’s opponent tonight - who surprises him from behind with a FORK-assisted sneak attack!
Reintroducing ABDULLAH the BUTCHER!!
WILLIAM MULDOON versus ABDULLAH the BUTCHER
(Street Fight)
versus
Abdullah the Butcher beats William Muldoon in under 4 minutes - finishing with his massive elbow drop. William Muldoon was flung from pillar to post, and bled heavily from the forehead (with Abdullah’s horrific stabs and slices never seeming to cease)… “Real Deal” Damien Steele finished the segment by holding up Muldoon’s bloody face to threaten him personally - before hitting the “Real Deal” swinging neck breaker (on a chair) to leave Muldoon lying… Steele says he can’t wait to serve as Commissioner under the new Black Army reign…
Winner: ABDULLAH the BUTCHER
** CUT **
_____________________________________________________________
"A Debuting Force"
Still on the scene, the power-mad Commissioner Damien Steele continues to hold court in the ring… he bids good riddance to William Muldoon (stretchered out of the arena, as Alexxis Neveah tearfully clutches his hand)… before seguing into a rant against Sid Vicious… after some smarky, insider lingo he kind of leads you to believe there was some backstage financial dispute or something between XPW Remixed & Vicious, which is why Damien Steele had Sid FIRED! (news to us!) He’s about to release Sid’s personal cell phone number to the crowd, when secretary Jasmin St Claire draws his attention to Alexxis Neveah (supporting her coach William Muldoon)… Steele turns his attention to Alexxis, and offers up that “DEBUTING FORCE” he was talking about earlier…
Introducing AWESOME KONG (wrestling debut!!)
ALEXXIS NEVEAH versus... AWESOME KONG! (debut!!)
versus
About what you would expect: Awesome Kong demolition. Here's video footage of a real-live Alexxis Nevaeh (aka "Mercedes Steele") squash against Awesome Kong from TNA TV...
Winner: AWESOME KONG
and oh look, there's even an imposter Raisha Saeed (as every smart fan knows the original girl under the hood - Cheerleader Mellissa - recently signed with Eco's ROH)... but wait a minute!?!? Just who IS that imposter Saeed after all??
www.dailymotion.com/video/x6w167_awesome-kong-vs-mercedes-steele_shortfilms
"Roxxy" = WENDI RICHTER
Wendi Richter has finally answered Kong's challenge! She will put her XPW Remixed Woman's championship on the line @ "Baptized in Blood 2"!!
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
XPW Remixed Woman’s champion Wendi Richter is backstage, when she runs into frequent foe Annie Social… confrontation seems imminent… especially when the mean, nasty Natalya Neidhart saunters into the scene as well… followed by Sunny (!?) but instead of an ambush, there is a begrudging respect and mutual realization – Awesome Kong is bad news… if anybody’s got a chance to derail that steam engine – it’s the “Queen of Rock-n-Roll” Wendi Richter… the girls offer their support and well-wishes to Richter (who seems genuinely touched) in her PPV title defense against Kong!!
** FADE OUT **
______________________________________________________________
** Great Gama stalks his prey **
Video footage of Great Gama’s historic (and legendary) display of “Hindu Push-ups”… similar to Bob Backlund’s astounding step program – or the Iron Sheik dazzling us with Persian clubs – or other extreme measures of human fitness – all interspersed with footage of Great Gama’s run in XPW Remixed (he was awoken from his fantasy wrestling slumber by the evil Jinder Mahal, before being manipulated and betrayed – his legendary undefeated streak broken at Mahal’s hand)… now, instead of slinking into the shadows of the past and disappearing forever, Great Gama has RETURNED and the vengeance he seeks against Mahal is TREMENDOUS… Great Gama is looking for Jinder Mahal… and with that destruction he can find his own redemption…
** FADE OUT **
******************
"Best of 7 FINALE"
"Best of 7" series video vignette - focusing on the blood feud between Samoa Joe & Bruno Sammartino that has been raging... Video recap of Match #6 (that ended with a Sammartino win – but Joe threw Bruno down two flights of stairs)… now we’re not sure of Sammartino’s medical condition, or if he can show up for Match #7 @ “BiB2”… Samoa Joe is in the XPW President’s office – ostensibly to face a fine and/or punishment for his gregarious actions… but instead of Ed “Strangler” Lewis in the president’s chair, around spins VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt… he doesn’t punish Samoa Joe at all; instead slyly giving him props for displaying a “viciousness” and “attitude”… if Bruno Sammartino can’t make it the PPV – then Samoa Joe will win by forfeit! But if he DOES show up, Mister Mondt has just the stipulation to keep that old mutt down... a dog-collar match! Mister Mondt stretches out the thick cord of chain tethered to a set of tattered leather dog collars… brutality at its finest… Joe seizes the chain in his hands and nods in agreement… finally – perhaps for the first time ever in XPW Remixed – Samoa Joe smiles…
** SEGUE **
"Sammartino responds..."
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: Here in Pittsburgh before I became a wrestler, I was doing amateur wrestling then but I was a construction worker. I was an apprentice carpenter making $2 an hour. You have to understand that this is going back to like 1956, or something like that. I was a real young guy, the carnival was in town and they had a wrestling monkey and they said if you could last five minutes with the monkey, they would give you $25. Well you know when you’re working for $2 an hour, $25 for five minutes sounded like a lot of money to me. So I took on the challenge and I fought that orangutan for fifteen minutes and I have to be real honest with you. I got the worst of that fight in that cage. The monkey won I think, because when I came out I was marked up a heck of a lot more than that monkey was. We were building the Hilton hotel here in Pittsburgh, it must have been about 300 guys and they all came over to watch and they were all rooting me on. But that orangutan, I’ll tell you what I have never seen anything so powerful. I tried to get behind it, you know like an amateur move thinking that maybe I could get him off of those bars and get him down on the floor. But when I finally got behind him, that thing was swinging around the cage like it had a flea on its back. I was like 265-270 pounds, unbelievable strength those things have and it was a big orangutan too, believe me that thing was big. The cage wasn’t that big, it displayed its strength, and I got beat up pretty good. Wrestling Samoa Joe is just like fighting that orangutan… and at “Baptized in Blood 2” - Samoa Joe will be the one being caged! I WILL BE THERE TO END THIS BLOOD FEUD ONCE AND FOR ALL!!
Bruno Sammartino vs Samoa Joe!
Best of 7 Series #7!!
"Dog Collar Match"!
Only at "Baptized in Blood 2"!!
** CUT **
_______________________________________________________
** XPW Remixed presents **
TOURNAMENT of DEATH 2
Sick music video hype for this years Tournament of Death... a once-a-year spectacle so great, so perverse, it drew with it some of the darkest spirits in the entire Fantasy Wrestling genre... Rob Black and John Zandig. Zandig - the godfather of CZWO ("Combat Zone Wrestling Originals") stormed into XPW Remixed - cultivated two former enemies/turned converts in Messiah & Sami Callihan - and laid seige to this years tourney... John Zandig is personally offended that the ToD crown - and KotDM championship - have come to the West Coast and he aims to reclaim it for the East by any means necessary...
...speaking of the East, on the flip side of the coin you have Onita's dark coalition with the Black Army - he's using the Devilish hellspawn JUN KASAI to conduct his evil bidding and bring the Tod & KotDM back to JAPAN! Meanhile, back home in America - "Sick" Nick Mondo (constantly tormented by the demons of his past) has embraced his destiny... "Sick" Nick Mondo has vowed to keep the Tod trophy and KotDM belt from either side... "Sick" Nick Mondo knows what he must do @ BiB2... to redeem himself, but also save the KotDM championship & TOD... He promises to die a martyr and take the ToD cup & KotDM Belt to hell with him!..
** CUT **
***************
"You can't spell "Death Match Wrestling" without ECW"
Shady New Jack promo (surrounded by hoods and masked stick-up kids) addressing Tournament of Death 2 (at “Baptized in Blood”)… big ups to the original ECW forefathers that started this whole revolution… New Jack reveals he has recently spoken with the (seemingly despondent, thus-far-missing) ECW Icon SANDMAN! New Jack gives you his word THEY WILL BE THERE @ ToD!! The Revolution continues at “Baptized in Blood 2!”
** CUT TO RING **
DANNY HAVOC versus SABU
(Xtreme Rulez Death Match)
versus
”Baptized in Blood 2” preview, with this being the advertised “Death Match” appetizer for the night… extra attention is paid to Sabu’s wild, unhinged antics as of late (like he’s lost his mind in XPW Remixed with nobody to control him)… Sabu beat Havoc once before (see XPW TV Episode #29) – and tagged with him (unannounced) on XPW Online #19, before jumping him after the match when they lost… hence the need for a “Death Match” showdown tonight… Announcers summarize this years “Tournament of Death” story arc – with the KotDM title also being up for grabs… CZWO think the ToD belongs on the East coast and have arrived to retake it by force… Tonight, Danny Havoc continues to play ultraviolent underground fan favorite, and takes a series of wicked, extreme bumps throughout the course of the match (really putting over Sabu’s offense)… competitive squash, with Havoc coming close a few times – but Sabu is too much… Arabian Facebuster (steel-chair assisted) through a table to Danny Havoc on the floor! “XPW! XPW!” Postmatch, XPW security enter the ring with medical gloves, Tasers, a gurney and straight jacket… Sabu is forced into the strait jacket and strapped to the upright medical gurney to be wheeled out of the arena (and on to the next show like a traveling circus freak)… straight ECW 1993 shit.
Winner: SABU
** CUT **
___________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Ad Santel, Tamina & the USO’s backstage in the Cali Crippler locker room… Ad Santel clearly wants to teach Mildred Burke a lesson himself, but refuses to out of simple sexism… Uso’s get some flavor as wise-cracking, hood smart tough guys and Tamina gets the call-up to action tonight… time to show the world what the “sport” of professional wrestling is all about – crippler style…
** CUT TO RING **
TAMINA (w/ Ad Santel) versus
w/ versus
The ring stay lay in shambles – a reminder of the attack from the previous segment… destroyed table debris and rubble everywhere… in the middle of the madness stands “Wild” Red Berry, like a maestro of mayhem… behind him his giant “Beast from the East” stalks the ring like an animal… Berry brags about this tag team champion FabKangs, and his ruthless mercenary Bam Bam Bigelow!
BAM BAM BIGELOW:
I like to beat up on people! Lucky for me, I’ve always been able to get paid for doing it! And in XPW Remixed I get paid really big bucks just for slapping punks around! I think that is the best of all worlds!
Open challenge… cut to brief video vignette in the back… the dark, shadowy recesses of the backstage entrance ramp – Tommaso Ciampa is gathered there beside Olympia trainee Alexxis Neveah (who appears to be attempting to tearfully convince him NOT to go)… quick words with William Muldoon who looks Ciampa dead in the eye and tells him he doesn’t have to do this… but Ciampa’s face remains stoic as he shrugs Muldoon and Nevaeh off and storms through the entrance curtains to answer Berry’s challenge… Bam Bam Bigelow takes him down with a trash can to start… the Xtremity continues with such off-the-wall weaponry as mailboxes, ironing boards, cookie sheets, hockey sticks, fire extinguishers, and cups of beer being used… Random “XPW! XPW!” and “BAM BAM!” chants from the crowd… the other half of the time, the audience is busy hissing at Wild Red Berry and serenading him with boos… A table was brought in, which Wild Red Berry gleefully directs Bam to drive Ciampa through… Alexxis Nevaeh came into the ring, to protect her brother Tommaso Ciampa from going through the table – but Wild Red Berry shoved Alexxis Nevaeh out of the way and BROKE his cane over Tommaso Ciampa’s skull!! Another table was brought in, with Bam Bam teasing putting Alexxis through it… Wild Red Berry threw in a roll of athletic tape to Bam Bam Bigelow (the sadistic intentions clear, as Bam Bam backs up the diminutive Nevaeh)… Out of seemingly nowhere, Alexxis Nevaeh unleashed a BLAST from a fire extinguisher to Bigelow’s FACE! She escapes, but Tommaso Ciampa does not… he struggles to fight back, but the cane shot was debilitating... a concussive series of headbutts from Bigelow fells Ciampa; laying him out on the table… Bam Bam Bigelow hits a flying headbutt off the top rope (THROUGH Ciampa and the table) for the definitive pinfall… Bam Bam Bigelow & Wild Red Berry pose… Alexxis Neveah tends to Ciampa post match…
Winner: BAM BAM BIGELOW
** CUT **
______________________________________________________________
"Man with the Book"
“Real Deal” Damien Steele enters (w/ secretary Jasmin St Claire)… Paul Bowser may have made the management decision to decide the XPW Commissioners office @ BiB2... But for now, Steele still has the book - and that’s the “real deal”… he references the past segment, and says if the Olympia (Muldoon's camp including Nevaeh & Ciampa) want to continue interfering in matches, they will pay the price... Alexxis Nevaeh TONIGHT you will meet a DEBUTING FORCE in XPW Remixed! And Steele's ppv opponent at BiB2 (“Solid Man” William Muldoon) can’t compete for the commissioners office title if he never makes the show! That’s why Damien Steele is ordering him to compete right HERE TONIGHT! Or risk forfeit of his PPV match!
Enter “Solid Man” William Muldoon, proud wrestler and head coach of the Olympia fight camp… he addresses Steele on the mic from the ramp - this isn’t just a battle between NY/MA & CA… it’s a battle between filth & decency! Speaking of filth, introducing Muldoon’s opponent tonight - who surprises him from behind with a FORK-assisted sneak attack!
Reintroducing ABDULLAH the BUTCHER!!
WILLIAM MULDOON versus ABDULLAH the BUTCHER
(Street Fight)
versus
Abdullah the Butcher beats William Muldoon in under 4 minutes - finishing with his massive elbow drop. William Muldoon was flung from pillar to post, and bled heavily from the forehead (with Abdullah’s horrific stabs and slices never seeming to cease)… “Real Deal” Damien Steele finished the segment by holding up Muldoon’s bloody face to threaten him personally - before hitting the “Real Deal” swinging neck breaker (on a chair) to leave Muldoon lying… Steele says he can’t wait to serve as Commissioner under the new Black Army reign…
Winner: ABDULLAH the BUTCHER
** CUT **
_____________________________________________________________
"A Debuting Force"
Still on the scene, the power-mad Commissioner Damien Steele continues to hold court in the ring… he bids good riddance to William Muldoon (stretchered out of the arena, as Alexxis Neveah tearfully clutches his hand)… before seguing into a rant against Sid Vicious… after some smarky, insider lingo he kind of leads you to believe there was some backstage financial dispute or something between XPW Remixed & Vicious, which is why Damien Steele had Sid FIRED! (news to us!) He’s about to release Sid’s personal cell phone number to the crowd, when secretary Jasmin St Claire draws his attention to Alexxis Neveah (supporting her coach William Muldoon)… Steele turns his attention to Alexxis, and offers up that “DEBUTING FORCE” he was talking about earlier…
Introducing AWESOME KONG (wrestling debut!!)
ALEXXIS NEVEAH versus... AWESOME KONG! (debut!!)
versus
About what you would expect: Awesome Kong demolition. Here's video footage of a real-live Alexxis Nevaeh (aka "Mercedes Steele") squash against Awesome Kong from TNA TV...
Winner: AWESOME KONG
and oh look, there's even an imposter Raisha Saeed (as every smart fan knows the original girl under the hood - Cheerleader Mellissa - recently signed with Eco's ROH)... but wait a minute!?!? Just who IS that imposter Saeed after all??
www.dailymotion.com/video/x6w167_awesome-kong-vs-mercedes-steele_shortfilms
"Roxxy" = WENDI RICHTER
Wendi Richter has finally answered Kong's challenge! She will put her XPW Remixed Woman's championship on the line @ "Baptized in Blood 2"!!
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
XPW Remixed Woman’s champion Wendi Richter is backstage, when she runs into frequent foe Annie Social… confrontation seems imminent… especially when the mean, nasty Natalya Neidhart saunters into the scene as well… followed by Sunny (!?) but instead of an ambush, there is a begrudging respect and mutual realization – Awesome Kong is bad news… if anybody’s got a chance to derail that steam engine – it’s the “Queen of Rock-n-Roll” Wendi Richter… the girls offer their support and well-wishes to Richter (who seems genuinely touched) in her PPV title defense against Kong!!
** FADE OUT **
______________________________________________________________
** Great Gama stalks his prey **
Video footage of Great Gama’s historic (and legendary) display of “Hindu Push-ups”… similar to Bob Backlund’s astounding step program – or the Iron Sheik dazzling us with Persian clubs – or other extreme measures of human fitness – all interspersed with footage of Great Gama’s run in XPW Remixed (he was awoken from his fantasy wrestling slumber by the evil Jinder Mahal, before being manipulated and betrayed – his legendary undefeated streak broken at Mahal’s hand)… now, instead of slinking into the shadows of the past and disappearing forever, Great Gama has RETURNED and the vengeance he seeks against Mahal is TREMENDOUS… Great Gama is looking for Jinder Mahal… and with that destruction he can find his own redemption…
** FADE OUT **
******************
"Best of 7 FINALE"
"Best of 7" series video vignette - focusing on the blood feud between Samoa Joe & Bruno Sammartino that has been raging... Video recap of Match #6 (that ended with a Sammartino win – but Joe threw Bruno down two flights of stairs)… now we’re not sure of Sammartino’s medical condition, or if he can show up for Match #7 @ “BiB2”… Samoa Joe is in the XPW President’s office – ostensibly to face a fine and/or punishment for his gregarious actions… but instead of Ed “Strangler” Lewis in the president’s chair, around spins VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt… he doesn’t punish Samoa Joe at all; instead slyly giving him props for displaying a “viciousness” and “attitude”… if Bruno Sammartino can’t make it the PPV – then Samoa Joe will win by forfeit! But if he DOES show up, Mister Mondt has just the stipulation to keep that old mutt down... a dog-collar match! Mister Mondt stretches out the thick cord of chain tethered to a set of tattered leather dog collars… brutality at its finest… Joe seizes the chain in his hands and nods in agreement… finally – perhaps for the first time ever in XPW Remixed – Samoa Joe smiles…
** SEGUE **
"Sammartino responds..."
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: Here in Pittsburgh before I became a wrestler, I was doing amateur wrestling then but I was a construction worker. I was an apprentice carpenter making $2 an hour. You have to understand that this is going back to like 1956, or something like that. I was a real young guy, the carnival was in town and they had a wrestling monkey and they said if you could last five minutes with the monkey, they would give you $25. Well you know when you’re working for $2 an hour, $25 for five minutes sounded like a lot of money to me. So I took on the challenge and I fought that orangutan for fifteen minutes and I have to be real honest with you. I got the worst of that fight in that cage. The monkey won I think, because when I came out I was marked up a heck of a lot more than that monkey was. We were building the Hilton hotel here in Pittsburgh, it must have been about 300 guys and they all came over to watch and they were all rooting me on. But that orangutan, I’ll tell you what I have never seen anything so powerful. I tried to get behind it, you know like an amateur move thinking that maybe I could get him off of those bars and get him down on the floor. But when I finally got behind him, that thing was swinging around the cage like it had a flea on its back. I was like 265-270 pounds, unbelievable strength those things have and it was a big orangutan too, believe me that thing was big. The cage wasn’t that big, it displayed its strength, and I got beat up pretty good. Wrestling Samoa Joe is just like fighting that orangutan… and at “Baptized in Blood 2” - Samoa Joe will be the one being caged! I WILL BE THERE TO END THIS BLOOD FEUD ONCE AND FOR ALL!!
Bruno Sammartino vs Samoa Joe!
Best of 7 Series #7!!
"Dog Collar Match"!
Only at "Baptized in Blood 2"!!
** CUT **
_______________________________________________________
** XPW Remixed presents **
TOURNAMENT of DEATH 2
Sick music video hype for this years Tournament of Death... a once-a-year spectacle so great, so perverse, it drew with it some of the darkest spirits in the entire Fantasy Wrestling genre... Rob Black and John Zandig. Zandig - the godfather of CZWO ("Combat Zone Wrestling Originals") stormed into XPW Remixed - cultivated two former enemies/turned converts in Messiah & Sami Callihan - and laid seige to this years tourney... John Zandig is personally offended that the ToD crown - and KotDM championship - have come to the West Coast and he aims to reclaim it for the East by any means necessary...
...speaking of the East, on the flip side of the coin you have Onita's dark coalition with the Black Army - he's using the Devilish hellspawn JUN KASAI to conduct his evil bidding and bring the Tod & KotDM back to JAPAN! Meanhile, back home in America - "Sick" Nick Mondo (constantly tormented by the demons of his past) has embraced his destiny... "Sick" Nick Mondo has vowed to keep the Tod trophy and KotDM belt from either side... "Sick" Nick Mondo knows what he must do @ BiB2... to redeem himself, but also save the KotDM championship & TOD... He promises to die a martyr and take the ToD cup & KotDM Belt to hell with him!..
** CUT **
***************
"You can't spell "Death Match Wrestling" without ECW"
Shady New Jack promo (surrounded by hoods and masked stick-up kids) addressing Tournament of Death 2 (at “Baptized in Blood”)… big ups to the original ECW forefathers that started this whole revolution… New Jack reveals he has recently spoken with the (seemingly despondent, thus-far-missing) ECW Icon SANDMAN! New Jack gives you his word THEY WILL BE THERE @ ToD!! The Revolution continues at “Baptized in Blood 2!”
** CUT TO RING **
DANNY HAVOC versus SABU
(Xtreme Rulez Death Match)
versus
”Baptized in Blood 2” preview, with this being the advertised “Death Match” appetizer for the night… extra attention is paid to Sabu’s wild, unhinged antics as of late (like he’s lost his mind in XPW Remixed with nobody to control him)… Sabu beat Havoc once before (see XPW TV Episode #29) – and tagged with him (unannounced) on XPW Online #19, before jumping him after the match when they lost… hence the need for a “Death Match” showdown tonight… Announcers summarize this years “Tournament of Death” story arc – with the KotDM title also being up for grabs… CZWO think the ToD belongs on the East coast and have arrived to retake it by force… Tonight, Danny Havoc continues to play ultraviolent underground fan favorite, and takes a series of wicked, extreme bumps throughout the course of the match (really putting over Sabu’s offense)… competitive squash, with Havoc coming close a few times – but Sabu is too much… Arabian Facebuster (steel-chair assisted) through a table to Danny Havoc on the floor! “XPW! XPW!” Postmatch, XPW security enter the ring with medical gloves, Tasers, a gurney and straight jacket… Sabu is forced into the strait jacket and strapped to the upright medical gurney to be wheeled out of the arena (and on to the next show like a traveling circus freak)… straight ECW 1993 shit.
Winner: SABU
** CUT **
___________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Ad Santel, Tamina & the USO’s backstage in the Cali Crippler locker room… Ad Santel clearly wants to teach Mildred Burke a lesson himself, but refuses to out of simple sexism… Uso’s get some flavor as wise-cracking, hood smart tough guys and Tamina gets the call-up to action tonight… time to show the world what the “sport” of professional wrestling is all about – crippler style…
** CUT TO RING **
TAMINA (w/ Ad Santel) versus
MILDRED BURKE (w/ Miz)
w/ versus w/
Mildred Burke enters first, and has the “Depression-era, never-say-die, underdog” image down pat… she’s fighting for her literal livelihood every time she steps into the ring (ever since her iron clad contract forbidding matches with other females)… now keep in mind this little caveat applies only to “sanctioned” matches, which is why Burke has contested Chyna in the past – or why she is about to compete in this match now. So technically she CAN compete against other woman during her year ban… but she certainly can’t compete for the XPW Woman’s championship… that’s the crux of her contractual impairment right there… Ad Santel & Tamina enter second, and for all intents and purposes it was originally supposed to be Ad Santel scheduled to take this match –but the extreme backlash from that decision forced him to reconsider (no doubt also a little fear in Santel’s heart about possibly losing to Burke)… much highlight reel attention is paid to Mildred Burke’s remarkable triangle choke on Santel (during the War Games match @ “Scene of the Crime”) that made the Cali Crippler reluctantly “tap out”… so instead of facing the intense crowd heat and competing tonight, Ad Santel shepherds his trainee Tamina into action (more video footage of Santel & Tamina jumping Mildred Burke on XPW Online #19)… Thankfully the wolf pack mentality is derailed by the strains of “AWWWEEEESSSOOOOMMEEE!!” breaking through the arena soundsystem – enter MIZ!
He cuts Ad Santel to ribbons on the mic; 2012-style, and takes up sides with Mildred Burke in this battle… the results are elementary… Miz keeps his eye on Santel at ringside, while the girls put on a wrestling clinic… Burke overcomes Tamina’s strength advantage with technical skill, and winds up with a version of the omaplata/Hells Gate/Triangle choke for the tap-out victory!
Winner (by submission): MILDRED BURKE
Post match, Miz keeps Ad Santel at bay to celebrate with Burke… a bitter, vindictive Santel mistimes a sneak attack attempt – gets SOCKED in the eye by Burke (!) and falls right into a Skull-Crushing Finale from MIZ! Tamina runs right into a samoan drop from Burke and she’s out of the ring too! Miz & Mildred Burke leave their opponents flustered and embarrassed… on their way up the ramp, an angry Ad Santel grabs a house mic and makes his challenge – he’s sick of amateur, MTV-inspired antics and wants a piece of MIZ @ “BiB2”… “Sportz (Ad Santel) versus Entertainment (Miz)” match! Miz accepts!
AD SANTEL (1922) versus MIZ (2012)
”Sportz vs Entertainment” Match!
Only @ “Baptized in Blood 2”!!
** CUT **
********************
FOCUS presents: “Open Mic Challenge”
Glamorous, humorous montage sketch of reigning XPW TV champion Gorgeous George (and his Focus entourage, including David Otunga & GG) out and about promoting his brand… from red carpet walkways, to Hollywood talk shows, to expensive banquets, George and Focus are the toast of town… the party continues @ BiB2, with no suitable challengers on the horizon, Gorgeous George is throwing a live “OPEN MIC CHALLENGE”! Anybody in the fantasy wrestling multiverse who thinks they have the style, swagger and sophistication to beat the “Human Orchid” in the ratings can step up and take their swing! We close with the loud Hawaiian shirt-wearing Gorgeous George peeling out in the back of a topless Cadillac, with his Focus entourage riding shotgun… onwards to “Baptized in Blood 2”!!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
"Celtic Warrior World Title Challenger"
Matt Striker has just reviewed the rash of referee-related wipeouts in the build-up to Thesz/Sheamus (requiring President Ed Lewis to hire a special outside referee - Mr. Perfect) and has asked Sheamus his reaction...
** CUT **
”Interview with Mr. Perfect”
REPORTER: Mr Perfect! Mr Perfect! What on earth made you decide to come to XPW Remixed for it's biggest show of the year??
MR. PERFECT: Being the real world’s champion, I, Mr. Perfect, see a lot of things here. First off, I think the editors of this rag gave their readers the royal shaft. That’s right. You guys talked to Lou Thesz & Sheamus and got half the story on Baptized in Blood 2… Well now, Mr. Perfect’s gonna give you the whole story.
REPORTER: How do you think you'll be received in XPW Remixed? And by the challenger Sheamus (2012) and champion Lou Thesz (1952)?
MR. PERFECT: You people will be privileged to see me, Mr. Perfect, standing right by the real world’s champions’s side. Speaking about the real world’s champion, Mr. Perfect would like to expound his virtues a little bit more… Mr. Perfect would like to take this time and let everybody know what kind of a man that is....
REPORTER: What are your thoughts on the men you'll be officiating at "BiB2"?
MR. PERFECT: Lou Thesz is an athlete’s athlete. He’s a role model for all the stinking kids in this world. Sheamus always plays by the rules and always gives his opponent a fair chance - much like Mr. Perfect. For instance, when I was the Intercontinental champion - the perfect Intercontinental champion, mind you - I displayed the same kind of sportsmanship as the real world’s champion. That is why Ed “Strangler” Lewis selected me to be his special referee & BiB2.
REPORTER: Any final words for XPW Remixed and Mash-Up Wrestling?
MR. PERFECT: I know a lot of you people don’t like to hear Mr. Perfect talk every week… well that’s just too bad! The fact of the matter is, Mr. Perfect is in demand! Look at me. I am a perfect wrestler, a perfect announcer, and in the coming weeks, I’ll even be a perfect referee.
** CUT **
**********
"XPW World Champion Lou Thesz in Training Camp"
XPW World Champion Lou Thesz let cameras into the practice facility where he and his Shooters Club brethren train like warriors for the upcoming BiB2 PPV... Drake Younger contends in the ToD, and Thesz defends his World title against Sheamus...
** CUT **
**************
"100k Disband Challenge"
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Tag Team partners Ricky Reyes & Rocky Romero (Havana Pitbulls 2007) are caught arguing amongst themselves in the locker room – when suddenly, they are set upon and attacked by the enraged DIAMOND DYNASTY! Matt Morgan & Alex Riley (2010) are wearing their business-suit finest, but get extra dirty with the smaller Pitbulls – smashing them about the Locker room, overturning furniture and breaking glass mirrors and wooden chairs… all the while “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers cuts a quick, angry promo for the camera - $100k wasn’t enough and now the losing team at “Baptized in Blood 2” must disband! The Dynasty only takes sure bets and at the PPV – New Age Outlaws are going out of business! Morgan & Riley finish the beat down by spraypainting “DD” (for “Diamond Dynasty”) sort of like the old DX crews used to do. Morgan & Riley are ready for the New Age Outlaws @ “BiB2”.
** CUT **
__________________________________________________________
** Main Event **
FRENCH ANGEL & HUMAN TORNADO (w/ Paul Bowser)
versus
JON MOXLEY & KILO (w/ Rob Black)
w/ versus w/
Preview match for “BiB2” and last big hard sell of the PPV… Rob Black enters first to introduce Moxley & Kilo personally… more vulgar threats and promises of fantasy wrestling usurpation… Black gives Bowser & crew one last chance to submit and bow down… Carl Beane is dead (see XPW Online #19)… Logan Boggs is in the hospital (see XPW TV Episode #45)… tonight – if you got the GUTS to show up, Bowser – you’ll be next! Never the less, the valiant Paul Bowser & troops ride in like the cavalry to defend the honor of ALL fantasy wrestling fans and purists… the man-monster French Angel (alongside the dainty, delectable Sammi Lane) and the hot-stepping, pimp-strutting Human Tornado… match itself is a great sneak preview of the action you’ll see at BiB2… Tornado styles – French Angel turns into the “Abyss” of fantasy wrestling (Xtreme ferocity) – Kilo is immune to pain – Jon Moxley is the evil captain of this ship… of course nothing is resolved, as all Hell breaks loose between all 4 men – necessitating a match stoppage… The real action unfolds after the bell tolls…
Winners: NONE (no finish)
”The Prince of Darkness” Kevin Sullivan leads his monster SNUFF on a killing rampage! Fellow Black Army cohort and Xtreme delegate Onita rolls into combat alongside his mercenary ninja assassin HAKUSHI KURO! But just as the tide of darkness is swelling in the entrance ramp (with throngs of XPW security & off-duty officers to add to the chaos) – a huge BLAST of pyro & confetti suddenly goes off! There! Right on top of the giant “XPW” letters! Sailing through the pyro smoke & sparks like a giant bird of prey! The masked marvel MIL MASCARAS leaps from the top of the entrance ramp letters with another one of his trademark cross body dives! Poetry in motion, as Mil Mascaras crashes down on EVERYBODY - taking them out like rows of dominoes! “XPW! XPW!”
Now Paul Bowser takes direction of the madness and calls out Rob Black on the mic… the “Baptized in Blood” Survivor Series match is definitely going down, just like the Black Army! Because B&B&B Enterprises partner LOGAN BOGGS called in one last favor from his hospital bed… somebody to aid Triple B in their PPV match…
Ladies and gentleman, introducing to XPW Remixed…
The only WWE title holder to appear on TNA Television… and now, the only TNA champion to appear on XPW Remixed TV…
CHRISTIAN!!
CHRISTIAN: Yeah, I was the first person he called after he got the news (about the injury). It was one of those things where I had to listen and be there for him... I could tell he was upset about it once it sunk in. I told him that if was writing the end to his story, this was the perfect way to finish it off, just winning the biggest show of the year... You can’t write a better ending than that. I will be there at "Baptized in Blood 2" fighting alongside Triple B Enterprises for the good of all fantasy wrestling!
** FADE OUT **
__________________________________________________________________
"XPW Original"
(An Xtreme Retrospective)
______________________________________________________
XPW Remixed
presents…
BAPTIZED IN BLOOD 2
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz (1952) © versus Sheamus (2012)
("Best 2 out of 3 Falls" match)
** with special referee MR PERFECT!! **
"Real Deal" Damien Steele vs William Muldoon
(XPW Commissioner office on the line)
** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos © (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Motor City Machine Guns
** Tournament of DEATH **
Feat: "Sick" Nick Mondo, Messiah, John Zandig, Sami Callihan, Drake Younger, Thumbtack Jack, Jun Kasai and a SURPRISE ENTRANT
Diamond Dynasty versus New Age Outlaws
(Losers Must Disband)
Samoa Joe (2007) versus Bruno Sammartino (1973)
("Best of 7" Series #7!!)
Team B&B&B (feat. Mil Mascaras, Human Tornado, French Angel, Christian & a Mystery Partner)
versus
BLACK Army (feat. SNUFF, Jon Moxley, Hakushi Kuro, Kilo & Jeff Jarrett)
(Control of XPW Remixed)
Phil "Gunner" Shatter (2013) versus Austin Idol (1982)
(REAL Kings Explode! And Jessica Darlin is caught in the middle!)
FOCUS presents: "The Gorgeous George Open Challenge!
** XPW Title Unification Match **
John Cena (2012) © vs Shane Douglas w/ Lizzy Borden (2002) ©
** XPW Woman's Championship **
Wendi Richter (1985) © versus Awesome Kong (2008)
Ad Santel (1922) versus The Miz (2012)
("Sportz versus Entertainment Match")
__________________________________________________
CREDITS:
MR. PERFECT: WWF Magazine (March 1992, Volume 11, Number 3)
BAM BAM BIGELOW: WWF Magazine (June 1993)
SAMMI LANE: GLORY Wrestling profile page
AUSTIN IDOL: The Wrestler Magazine (Volume 42, 2012)
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: Camel Clutch Blog interview (2010)
CHRISTIAN: Pantagraph.com interview (2012)
w/ versus w/
Mildred Burke enters first, and has the “Depression-era, never-say-die, underdog” image down pat… she’s fighting for her literal livelihood every time she steps into the ring (ever since her iron clad contract forbidding matches with other females)… now keep in mind this little caveat applies only to “sanctioned” matches, which is why Burke has contested Chyna in the past – or why she is about to compete in this match now. So technically she CAN compete against other woman during her year ban… but she certainly can’t compete for the XPW Woman’s championship… that’s the crux of her contractual impairment right there… Ad Santel & Tamina enter second, and for all intents and purposes it was originally supposed to be Ad Santel scheduled to take this match –but the extreme backlash from that decision forced him to reconsider (no doubt also a little fear in Santel’s heart about possibly losing to Burke)… much highlight reel attention is paid to Mildred Burke’s remarkable triangle choke on Santel (during the War Games match @ “Scene of the Crime”) that made the Cali Crippler reluctantly “tap out”… so instead of facing the intense crowd heat and competing tonight, Ad Santel shepherds his trainee Tamina into action (more video footage of Santel & Tamina jumping Mildred Burke on XPW Online #19)… Thankfully the wolf pack mentality is derailed by the strains of “AWWWEEEESSSOOOOMMEEE!!” breaking through the arena soundsystem – enter MIZ!
He cuts Ad Santel to ribbons on the mic; 2012-style, and takes up sides with Mildred Burke in this battle… the results are elementary… Miz keeps his eye on Santel at ringside, while the girls put on a wrestling clinic… Burke overcomes Tamina’s strength advantage with technical skill, and winds up with a version of the omaplata/Hells Gate/Triangle choke for the tap-out victory!
Winner (by submission): MILDRED BURKE
Post match, Miz keeps Ad Santel at bay to celebrate with Burke… a bitter, vindictive Santel mistimes a sneak attack attempt – gets SOCKED in the eye by Burke (!) and falls right into a Skull-Crushing Finale from MIZ! Tamina runs right into a samoan drop from Burke and she’s out of the ring too! Miz & Mildred Burke leave their opponents flustered and embarrassed… on their way up the ramp, an angry Ad Santel grabs a house mic and makes his challenge – he’s sick of amateur, MTV-inspired antics and wants a piece of MIZ @ “BiB2”… “Sportz (Ad Santel) versus Entertainment (Miz)” match! Miz accepts!
AD SANTEL (1922) versus MIZ (2012)
”Sportz vs Entertainment” Match!
Only @ “Baptized in Blood 2”!!
** CUT **
********************
FOCUS presents: “Open Mic Challenge”
Glamorous, humorous montage sketch of reigning XPW TV champion Gorgeous George (and his Focus entourage, including David Otunga & GG) out and about promoting his brand… from red carpet walkways, to Hollywood talk shows, to expensive banquets, George and Focus are the toast of town… the party continues @ BiB2, with no suitable challengers on the horizon, Gorgeous George is throwing a live “OPEN MIC CHALLENGE”! Anybody in the fantasy wrestling multiverse who thinks they have the style, swagger and sophistication to beat the “Human Orchid” in the ratings can step up and take their swing! We close with the loud Hawaiian shirt-wearing Gorgeous George peeling out in the back of a topless Cadillac, with his Focus entourage riding shotgun… onwards to “Baptized in Blood 2”!!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
"Celtic Warrior World Title Challenger"
Matt Striker has just reviewed the rash of referee-related wipeouts in the build-up to Thesz/Sheamus (requiring President Ed Lewis to hire a special outside referee - Mr. Perfect) and has asked Sheamus his reaction...
** CUT **
”Interview with Mr. Perfect”
REPORTER: Mr Perfect! Mr Perfect! What on earth made you decide to come to XPW Remixed for it's biggest show of the year??
MR. PERFECT: Being the real world’s champion, I, Mr. Perfect, see a lot of things here. First off, I think the editors of this rag gave their readers the royal shaft. That’s right. You guys talked to Lou Thesz & Sheamus and got half the story on Baptized in Blood 2… Well now, Mr. Perfect’s gonna give you the whole story.
REPORTER: How do you think you'll be received in XPW Remixed? And by the challenger Sheamus (2012) and champion Lou Thesz (1952)?
MR. PERFECT: You people will be privileged to see me, Mr. Perfect, standing right by the real world’s champions’s side. Speaking about the real world’s champion, Mr. Perfect would like to expound his virtues a little bit more… Mr. Perfect would like to take this time and let everybody know what kind of a man that is....
REPORTER: What are your thoughts on the men you'll be officiating at "BiB2"?
MR. PERFECT: Lou Thesz is an athlete’s athlete. He’s a role model for all the stinking kids in this world. Sheamus always plays by the rules and always gives his opponent a fair chance - much like Mr. Perfect. For instance, when I was the Intercontinental champion - the perfect Intercontinental champion, mind you - I displayed the same kind of sportsmanship as the real world’s champion. That is why Ed “Strangler” Lewis selected me to be his special referee & BiB2.
REPORTER: Any final words for XPW Remixed and Mash-Up Wrestling?
MR. PERFECT: I know a lot of you people don’t like to hear Mr. Perfect talk every week… well that’s just too bad! The fact of the matter is, Mr. Perfect is in demand! Look at me. I am a perfect wrestler, a perfect announcer, and in the coming weeks, I’ll even be a perfect referee.
** CUT **
**********
"XPW World Champion Lou Thesz in Training Camp"
XPW World Champion Lou Thesz let cameras into the practice facility where he and his Shooters Club brethren train like warriors for the upcoming BiB2 PPV... Drake Younger contends in the ToD, and Thesz defends his World title against Sheamus...
** CUT **
**************
"100k Disband Challenge"
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Tag Team partners Ricky Reyes & Rocky Romero (Havana Pitbulls 2007) are caught arguing amongst themselves in the locker room – when suddenly, they are set upon and attacked by the enraged DIAMOND DYNASTY! Matt Morgan & Alex Riley (2010) are wearing their business-suit finest, but get extra dirty with the smaller Pitbulls – smashing them about the Locker room, overturning furniture and breaking glass mirrors and wooden chairs… all the while “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers cuts a quick, angry promo for the camera - $100k wasn’t enough and now the losing team at “Baptized in Blood 2” must disband! The Dynasty only takes sure bets and at the PPV – New Age Outlaws are going out of business! Morgan & Riley finish the beat down by spraypainting “DD” (for “Diamond Dynasty”) sort of like the old DX crews used to do. Morgan & Riley are ready for the New Age Outlaws @ “BiB2”.
** CUT **
__________________________________________________________
** Main Event **
FRENCH ANGEL & HUMAN TORNADO (w/ Paul Bowser)
versus
JON MOXLEY & KILO (w/ Rob Black)
w/ versus w/
Preview match for “BiB2” and last big hard sell of the PPV… Rob Black enters first to introduce Moxley & Kilo personally… more vulgar threats and promises of fantasy wrestling usurpation… Black gives Bowser & crew one last chance to submit and bow down… Carl Beane is dead (see XPW Online #19)… Logan Boggs is in the hospital (see XPW TV Episode #45)… tonight – if you got the GUTS to show up, Bowser – you’ll be next! Never the less, the valiant Paul Bowser & troops ride in like the cavalry to defend the honor of ALL fantasy wrestling fans and purists… the man-monster French Angel (alongside the dainty, delectable Sammi Lane) and the hot-stepping, pimp-strutting Human Tornado… match itself is a great sneak preview of the action you’ll see at BiB2… Tornado styles – French Angel turns into the “Abyss” of fantasy wrestling (Xtreme ferocity) – Kilo is immune to pain – Jon Moxley is the evil captain of this ship… of course nothing is resolved, as all Hell breaks loose between all 4 men – necessitating a match stoppage… The real action unfolds after the bell tolls…
Winners: NONE (no finish)
”The Prince of Darkness” Kevin Sullivan leads his monster SNUFF on a killing rampage! Fellow Black Army cohort and Xtreme delegate Onita rolls into combat alongside his mercenary ninja assassin HAKUSHI KURO! But just as the tide of darkness is swelling in the entrance ramp (with throngs of XPW security & off-duty officers to add to the chaos) – a huge BLAST of pyro & confetti suddenly goes off! There! Right on top of the giant “XPW” letters! Sailing through the pyro smoke & sparks like a giant bird of prey! The masked marvel MIL MASCARAS leaps from the top of the entrance ramp letters with another one of his trademark cross body dives! Poetry in motion, as Mil Mascaras crashes down on EVERYBODY - taking them out like rows of dominoes! “XPW! XPW!”
Now Paul Bowser takes direction of the madness and calls out Rob Black on the mic… the “Baptized in Blood” Survivor Series match is definitely going down, just like the Black Army! Because B&B&B Enterprises partner LOGAN BOGGS called in one last favor from his hospital bed… somebody to aid Triple B in their PPV match…
Ladies and gentleman, introducing to XPW Remixed…
The only WWE title holder to appear on TNA Television… and now, the only TNA champion to appear on XPW Remixed TV…
CHRISTIAN!!
CHRISTIAN: Yeah, I was the first person he called after he got the news (about the injury). It was one of those things where I had to listen and be there for him... I could tell he was upset about it once it sunk in. I told him that if was writing the end to his story, this was the perfect way to finish it off, just winning the biggest show of the year... You can’t write a better ending than that. I will be there at "Baptized in Blood 2" fighting alongside Triple B Enterprises for the good of all fantasy wrestling!
** FADE OUT **
__________________________________________________________________
"XPW Original"
(An Xtreme Retrospective)
______________________________________________________
XPW Remixed
presents…
BAPTIZED IN BLOOD 2
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz (1952) © versus Sheamus (2012)
("Best 2 out of 3 Falls" match)
** with special referee MR PERFECT!! **
"Real Deal" Damien Steele vs William Muldoon
(XPW Commissioner office on the line)
** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos © (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Motor City Machine Guns
** Tournament of DEATH **
Feat: "Sick" Nick Mondo, Messiah, John Zandig, Sami Callihan, Drake Younger, Thumbtack Jack, Jun Kasai and a SURPRISE ENTRANT
Diamond Dynasty versus New Age Outlaws
(Losers Must Disband)
Samoa Joe (2007) versus Bruno Sammartino (1973)
("Best of 7" Series #7!!)
Team B&B&B (feat. Mil Mascaras, Human Tornado, French Angel, Christian & a Mystery Partner)
versus
BLACK Army (feat. SNUFF, Jon Moxley, Hakushi Kuro, Kilo & Jeff Jarrett)
(Control of XPW Remixed)
Phil "Gunner" Shatter (2013) versus Austin Idol (1982)
(REAL Kings Explode! And Jessica Darlin is caught in the middle!)
FOCUS presents: "The Gorgeous George Open Challenge!
** XPW Title Unification Match **
John Cena (2012) © vs Shane Douglas w/ Lizzy Borden (2002) ©
** XPW Woman's Championship **
Wendi Richter (1985) © versus Awesome Kong (2008)
Ad Santel (1922) versus The Miz (2012)
("Sportz versus Entertainment Match")
__________________________________________________
CREDITS:
MR. PERFECT: WWF Magazine (March 1992, Volume 11, Number 3)
BAM BAM BIGELOW: WWF Magazine (June 1993)
SAMMI LANE: GLORY Wrestling profile page
AUSTIN IDOL: The Wrestler Magazine (Volume 42, 2012)
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: Camel Clutch Blog interview (2010)
CHRISTIAN: Pantagraph.com interview (2012)