Post by MadStepDad on Jun 5, 2012 13:36:27 GMT -5
*** A NOTE ABOUT PRODUCTION VALUES ***
In-ring action is all shot in glossy, beautiful HD/3D quality... the backstage skits share the same picture quality - but have a different vibe... These are all grainy, gritty, “Reality-TV” shots… a far cry from the well-lit, professionally positioned set pieces of WWE and their backstage skits… most of the footage is caught by roving reporters carrying video cameras… conversations between officials (particularly anything featuring Ed Lewis or Toots Mondt) is very fast paced and frenetic… these are busy guys always on the move… either they're caught in conversation in dark backstage hallways and corridors of the building, or overheard around corners and from doors slightly ajar… very TNA Reaction-like in the production quality, and it gives all the backstage proceedings a very voyeuristic, forbidden feel… a true “peek behind the curtain” so to speak… unless otherwise noted, assume most of the skits you’ve ever seen in XPW Remixed have this look…
** RIP Tribute to Carl Beane **
** Moment of Silence **
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
Somber, even-keeled opening from Solie & Striker… what is supposed to be a crowning achievement in XPW Remixed, has now been overcast with a very sudden pall… the tragic accidental death of B&B&B Enterprises partner Carl Beane… how will this affect B&B&B Enterprises bid? Will they still commit to the purchase? And who is Jack Pfefer’s mystery money man, supposedly to be revealed tonight? Plus – XPW World champion Lou Thesz and #1 contender Sheamus join us for a press conference hyping their title match @ “BiB2”… a Tournament of Death qualifying match… and Heath Slater hosts a very special episode of “Happy Hour” featuring Phil “Gunner” Shatter… join us, as the road to “Baptized in Blood 2” continues… albeit more in tune with a funeral dirge than a parade…
** CUT TO RING **
___________________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE INTRO **
XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt taking calls in his office… very unfortunate news about B&B&B Enterprises… tragic circumstances (all delivered in a stoic, monotone cadence one might discuss a trip to the post office)… B&B&B Enterprises will be CEDING the upcoming PPV match and withdrawing their ownership bid! Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs will be arriving later to make it official…
** CUT TO RING **
"BLACK ARMY ARISE!!"
Jack Pfefer’s theme song opens the show, and the sleazy con-man promoter makes his entrance… big boos… because of the unfortunate incident that has befallen B&B&B Enterprises they will no longer be able to make their planned purchase… so Pfefer’s new conglomerate is stepping in to buy the 3rd stake in XPW Remixed! He hypes up his mystery benefactor - before cueing up the theme song and (re)introducing…
”Prince of Darkness” KEVIN SULLIVAN!
Big boos for this, as Sullivan enters with a cadre of armor-wielding strippers, half-naked woman and XPW Remixed’s newest monster SNUFF (with a leather dog collar around his neck, leashed to Sullivan)… more big boos as they take the ring alongside Pfefer (but they might be more boos of disappointment of Pfefer’s “epic” announcement)… instead, Sullivan gets a few minutes on the mic to put himself over - curse the name of B&B&B Enterprises - and resurrect the infamous legend of the “Black Army” in XPW Remixed… but how do you think they got that name?? Who do you think was the dark savior they’ve been praying to?? The SAVIOR of Fantasy Wrestling… the man, the myth, the legend… making his triumphant RETURN to the industry that has forsaken him…
Ladies and gentleman, introducing to XPW Remixed…
AND Fantasy wrestling…
The mastermind behind the new Black Army - and new (!?!?) 1/3rd owner of XPW Remixed…
ROB FN BLACK!?!?
ROB BLACK: As a person? I like the challenge that comes with creating an entertainment conglomerate, because I don't see us just as an adult company. We do other things associated with the entertainment business. I like the challenge of doing something that people on the outside see as taboo. I enjoy the challenge of just making the thing as a whole work, and grow, and thrive, and go. My partner, Tom -- he always says I'm a drama junkie. I thrive on the drama. And at times, I do. Aside from the money, I enjoy that ... and just that eternal quest to keep going and make it bigger than it is. I'd say the trajectory we'd like to be is more like a Ted Turner or a Disney or something like that, where this is one branch that we do, and we do other wings. We own a wrestling company -- XPW. We venture in different things. We're starting a line of R-rated movies, like "Friday the 13th"-type of movies. Ultimately, hopefully one day we'll own a football team. There's the ultimate goal. But that is ultimately the company as a whole, an entertainment monster in the business.
It's a tragic shame what happened to B&B&B Enterprises, but it's all for the best after all... because IF Rob Black WERE to host a team @ "BiB2" it would be bad news for anybody who dare oppose... because Rob Black's SECOND member would have been... JON MOXLEY!
His theme song plays and the slimy, grimy Jon Moxley makes his way to ringside to join the Black Army in the ring... Rob Black considers him the FUTURE of fantasy wrestling, and Moxley is more than happy to cast his lot in with the Black Army... they "understand" him... now let's keep this party moving! Just in case you were thinking of tuning into that "other show", don't worry... XPW Remixed is LIVE - while that shit is just pre-recorded. Here's what happened - 1) Al Snow & Test headline the show and lose to some scrubs 2) Kurt Angle beats a jobber 3) we can't even figure out who won in the Orient Express/Moondogs match 4) and Hulk Hogan wins the title AGAIN for the "World Whining Federation"... oh well, now that you know how THAT turn out - don't miss the rest of our LIVE SHOW! And since Rob Black has got the book tonight, we’re starting off this welcome home party with a BANG! An XPW Remixed Television title match!! You’re welcome! YOU’RE ALL F***** WELCOME!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_______________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs have entered the building… amidst the sorrow-felt condolences from their peers, they are greeted by (suit and tie-wearing) Mil Mascaras – he asks that they reconsider their decision to withdraw from the PPV, and continue the purchase in honor of Carl Beane (RIP)… bad things are afoot in Mash-Up Wrestling…
** CUT TO RING **
** XPW Television title **
GORGEOUS GEORGE (w/ Focus) versus RUCKUS
w/
In-ring action is all shot in glossy, beautiful HD/3D quality... the backstage skits share the same picture quality - but have a different vibe... These are all grainy, gritty, “Reality-TV” shots… a far cry from the well-lit, professionally positioned set pieces of WWE and their backstage skits… most of the footage is caught by roving reporters carrying video cameras… conversations between officials (particularly anything featuring Ed Lewis or Toots Mondt) is very fast paced and frenetic… these are busy guys always on the move… either they're caught in conversation in dark backstage hallways and corridors of the building, or overheard around corners and from doors slightly ajar… very TNA Reaction-like in the production quality, and it gives all the backstage proceedings a very voyeuristic, forbidden feel… a true “peek behind the curtain” so to speak… unless otherwise noted, assume most of the skits you’ve ever seen in XPW Remixed have this look…
** RIP Tribute to Carl Beane **
** Moment of Silence **
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
Somber, even-keeled opening from Solie & Striker… what is supposed to be a crowning achievement in XPW Remixed, has now been overcast with a very sudden pall… the tragic accidental death of B&B&B Enterprises partner Carl Beane… how will this affect B&B&B Enterprises bid? Will they still commit to the purchase? And who is Jack Pfefer’s mystery money man, supposedly to be revealed tonight? Plus – XPW World champion Lou Thesz and #1 contender Sheamus join us for a press conference hyping their title match @ “BiB2”… a Tournament of Death qualifying match… and Heath Slater hosts a very special episode of “Happy Hour” featuring Phil “Gunner” Shatter… join us, as the road to “Baptized in Blood 2” continues… albeit more in tune with a funeral dirge than a parade…
** CUT TO RING **
___________________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE INTRO **
XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt taking calls in his office… very unfortunate news about B&B&B Enterprises… tragic circumstances (all delivered in a stoic, monotone cadence one might discuss a trip to the post office)… B&B&B Enterprises will be CEDING the upcoming PPV match and withdrawing their ownership bid! Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs will be arriving later to make it official…
** CUT TO RING **
"BLACK ARMY ARISE!!"
Jack Pfefer’s theme song opens the show, and the sleazy con-man promoter makes his entrance… big boos… because of the unfortunate incident that has befallen B&B&B Enterprises they will no longer be able to make their planned purchase… so Pfefer’s new conglomerate is stepping in to buy the 3rd stake in XPW Remixed! He hypes up his mystery benefactor - before cueing up the theme song and (re)introducing…
”Prince of Darkness” KEVIN SULLIVAN!
Big boos for this, as Sullivan enters with a cadre of armor-wielding strippers, half-naked woman and XPW Remixed’s newest monster SNUFF (with a leather dog collar around his neck, leashed to Sullivan)… more big boos as they take the ring alongside Pfefer (but they might be more boos of disappointment of Pfefer’s “epic” announcement)… instead, Sullivan gets a few minutes on the mic to put himself over - curse the name of B&B&B Enterprises - and resurrect the infamous legend of the “Black Army” in XPW Remixed… but how do you think they got that name?? Who do you think was the dark savior they’ve been praying to?? The SAVIOR of Fantasy Wrestling… the man, the myth, the legend… making his triumphant RETURN to the industry that has forsaken him…
Ladies and gentleman, introducing to XPW Remixed…
AND Fantasy wrestling…
The mastermind behind the new Black Army - and new (!?!?) 1/3rd owner of XPW Remixed…
ROB FN BLACK!?!?
ROB BLACK: As a person? I like the challenge that comes with creating an entertainment conglomerate, because I don't see us just as an adult company. We do other things associated with the entertainment business. I like the challenge of doing something that people on the outside see as taboo. I enjoy the challenge of just making the thing as a whole work, and grow, and thrive, and go. My partner, Tom -- he always says I'm a drama junkie. I thrive on the drama. And at times, I do. Aside from the money, I enjoy that ... and just that eternal quest to keep going and make it bigger than it is. I'd say the trajectory we'd like to be is more like a Ted Turner or a Disney or something like that, where this is one branch that we do, and we do other wings. We own a wrestling company -- XPW. We venture in different things. We're starting a line of R-rated movies, like "Friday the 13th"-type of movies. Ultimately, hopefully one day we'll own a football team. There's the ultimate goal. But that is ultimately the company as a whole, an entertainment monster in the business.
It's a tragic shame what happened to B&B&B Enterprises, but it's all for the best after all... because IF Rob Black WERE to host a team @ "BiB2" it would be bad news for anybody who dare oppose... because Rob Black's SECOND member would have been... JON MOXLEY!
His theme song plays and the slimy, grimy Jon Moxley makes his way to ringside to join the Black Army in the ring... Rob Black considers him the FUTURE of fantasy wrestling, and Moxley is more than happy to cast his lot in with the Black Army... they "understand" him... now let's keep this party moving! Just in case you were thinking of tuning into that "other show", don't worry... XPW Remixed is LIVE - while that shit is just pre-recorded. Here's what happened - 1) Al Snow & Test headline the show and lose to some scrubs 2) Kurt Angle beats a jobber 3) we can't even figure out who won in the Orient Express/Moondogs match 4) and Hulk Hogan wins the title AGAIN for the "World Whining Federation"... oh well, now that you know how THAT turn out - don't miss the rest of our LIVE SHOW! And since Rob Black has got the book tonight, we’re starting off this welcome home party with a BANG! An XPW Remixed Television title match!! You’re welcome! YOU’RE ALL F***** WELCOME!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_______________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs have entered the building… amidst the sorrow-felt condolences from their peers, they are greeted by (suit and tie-wearing) Mil Mascaras – he asks that they reconsider their decision to withdraw from the PPV, and continue the purchase in honor of Carl Beane (RIP)… bad things are afoot in Mash-Up Wrestling…
** CUT TO RING **
** XPW Television title **
GORGEOUS GEORGE (w/ Focus) versus RUCKUS
w/
versus
Marijuana-tinged offense from Ruckus that ruffles the feathers of dainty Gorgeous George (necessitating multiple sprays of ring disinfectant from GG the valet)… Commentators Solie & Striker speak ominously about the dire circumstances of re-allowing Rob Black into the wrestling industry… Ruckus out-quicks George - embarrasses Otunga - but falls victim to a duo of very jealous jerks… at one point (with the ref distracted) Sabian and Michael Tarver made the run-in (presumably to prevent anymore double-team shenanigans from Focus) - but instead ATTACKED their former comrade Ruckus! They bashed him around ringside before Tarver struck him cold with a KO punch… Ruckus is rolled into the ring where a modified Mic-Check from Gorgeous George gets the finish. “The Human Orchid” retains again!
Winner (and STILL XPW TV champion): GORGEOUS GEORGE WAGNER (1950)
Gorgeous George keeps the TV title in Focus!
Meanwhile Ruckus' bitter ex-allies Sabian & Michael Tarver submit to jealousy and drag their former partner down, CitB-style! ("crabs in the bucket!")
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________
** HAPPY HOUR **
(hosted by Heath Slater)
Feat: PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER
Episode #2 of the XPW Remixed talk show replacement for Honky Tonk Man’s old “Ice Cream Parlor” segment… Heath Slater is a very energetic (and completely despicable) speaker, and this segment is a tip of the hat to Heath’s old FCW work under the same title… Slater amps the crowd - gives a sterling, golden introduction to his guest - and introduces Phil Shatter (who enters to HUGE boos as we get a video recap of his attack on former partner Austin Idol & disrespect of former valet Jessica Darlin)…
Slater & Shatter share a few self-masturbatory moments of compliments - heaping praise upon themselves… Shatter reiterates his desire to “drop dead weight” and go solo and Heath Slater sympathizes with him (citing his split with former WWE tag team partner Justin Gabriel for example - another quick, cheap shot at Rav-P’s WWF by XPW Remixed)…
This time – to make things a little spicy – Heath Slater has invited another guest onto the show today… JESSICA DARLIN! She enters (still looking sad or mad or constipated or something – bad acting)… she doesn’t even get to talk – Slater & Gunner bombard her with insults and accusations… finally, Gunner actually SNATCHES her up by the hair in a very threatening, physical manner! She looks absolutely TINY in his big hands! In a disgusting display, Gunner actually RIPS Darlin's top completely off! She hurries to cover herself and Gunner SHOVES her to the mat!
Suddenly we have an EXPLOSION of action! None other than a street clothes-wearing, baseball bat-wielding AUSTIN IDOL has stormed the set! Slater flees! Gunner is shocked! Idol only gets a few shots in before Gunner too flees the scene! So in his anger, Idol helps Darlin off the mat – grabs a mic – and challenges former partner Phil “Gunner” Shatter to a fight @ “BiB2”!!! Gunner is shocked and at a loss of words… so Austin Idol completely demolishes the “Happy Hour” set! Idol and Darlin left in the ring as Gunner slowly retreats (eyes locked upon Idol’s the entire time)!
Austin Idol vs Phil “Gunner” Shatter @ BiB2!!!
The (Real) Kings of Wrestling EXPLODE!!
** CUT **
___________________________________________________________
** “Tournament of Death” Qualifying Match **
DRAKE YOUNGER versus MADMAN PONDO
versus
Awesome and creepy CZWO black-and-white promo to begin - with Sami Callihan giving praise to the Savior of Xtreme John Zandig - and hyping up his ghoulish henchman MadMan Pondo for the following contest… video cut to a brief training vignette between Drake Younger & Dan Severn… they are training Xtremely diligently, with the CZWO attack upon them (see XPW Online #19) still fresh in their minds… Younger vows to reach the brink of death in order to bring honor to the Shooters Club and keep the ToD trophy in XPW Remixed…
Winner: DRAKE YOUNGER
No sooner has Drake Younger picked up the win – that we get the inevitable CZWO run-in and massacre… the John Zandig-led posse is hellbent on desecrating XPW Remixed and taking the precious “Tournament of Death” trophy BACK to the East Coast (where Zandig and cronies claim “Xtreme was born”)… Solie & Striker’s commentary always gives even the most insane (or inane) XPW Remixed segments a certain air of gravitas and their coverage of this attack (including Drake Younger’s own long storied history with CZW) is no different…
Suddenly – none other than THUMBTACK JACK – makes the shambling, horror-movie run in for the save! The demented, German mad-scientist-gone-wild enters wielding light tubes and syringes, and earns a pop from the crowd for finally standing up for himself against the evil, brainwashing antics of his former mentor Sami Callihan! Thumbtack Jack plays the “Virgil”-underdog role here – avenging his own sacrifice to Zandig (see XPW TV Episode #44)… TJ gets a few spots against the CZWO – but inevitably the numbers game is too much… CZWO take over on Drake Younger & Thumbtack jack and prepare murder them with cinder blocks and glass panes… when suddenly –
LIGHTS OUT!
When they return… Two figures in the ring – one who wields a FLAMETHROWER!
FWOOSH! It’s none other than ATSUSHI ONITA and the revamped JUN KASAI!!
They scatter CZWO with a huge SPRAY from the flame thrower! Zandig and his troops circle the ring like wolves, but eventually powder out of the scene as Onita (directing traffic) and Jun Kasai take control of the ring! FLAMING TABLES POWERBOMBS to Drake Younger & Thumbtack Jack! Both men are left a smoldering wreck as the announcers question Onita’s motivation! So he grabs a mic to issue his mission statement…
XPW Remixed thumbs down! CZWO thumbs down! XTREME WAS BORN IN THE EEEEEAAAASSSSTTTT!!!! Japanese Death Match specialists here to reclaim their glory in honor of the Rising Sun! Boooooo from the nationalistic, American fanbase! Onita breaks out all the evil Japanese subtypes, nearly starting a riot with his rhetoric! All the while, Thumbtack Jack has miraculously stirred from the flaming wreckage… he drags himself to his feet with a Kendo stick – unseen by Onita and Kasai – and prepares to strike! But before he can, another mysterious black-face-painted stranger has appeared on the ring apron like a cat! Thumbtack Jack eats a BLAST of black mist to his eyes from the stranger! Ooooo! Thumbtack Jack goes down and the mysterious assailant is revealed…
HAKUSHI KURO!
Atsushi Onita’s hardcore Far East delegation has just expanded! The mysterious, silent ninjitsu assassin joins side-by-side with the raving Onita and dead-serious Kasai to form an intimidating sight…. Onita then continues the heel shtick by praising the Black Army and offering his allegiance to their cause! This of course draws the theme song of the Black Army, and our dark host for the night – ROB BLACK – enters once more… he is ecstatic and overjoyed to witness such sadism and destruction and gleefully welcomes Onita’s posse into his fold… Rob Black rewards Onita’s brand of anarchy with glowing praise – and says that if he were still required to build his Black Army team at “BiB2” – he would definitely pick HAKUSHI KURO to represent alongside him… as it is, the LEAST Mister Rob Black can do for Onita tonight is give his man JUN KASAI an entrance into the “Tournament of Death” @ BiB2! Rob Black has given Onita the chance to take the coveted ToD tourney back to Japan where it belongs! Everybody is in the ring glad-handing and congratulating each other…
ROB BLACK: We are going to be Extreme. I'm going to create this company. I'm going to create this character, Rob Black, who's going to be like, this demonic-like figure, this boisterous, obnoxious person. And I'm going to direct movies that are just out there. But it's no different than if you go into a video store and buy a "Banned from TV, Caught on Video." And they've got like five volumes, and all it is is news footage of these horrific accidents with people getting hit by trains (laughs), and a guy with a stand-off with hostages, and the cops blow his brains out, and his blood. ... It's the same thing. You could go into Tower Records or Best Buy and buy a video where people are dying on camera.
...when we get our final interruption…
Look! Up in the rafters! Moving into the balcony section and the embrace of the fans!
”SICK” NICK MONDO!
Heartfelt, impassioned, dedicated (and grisly) promo from “Sick” Nick Mondo – completely cutting down the CZWO, Rob Black AND Onita’s delegation… Mondo represents the TRUE spirit of XTREME and he is ready and willing to give HIS OWN LIFE at BiB2 as long as his sacrifice can prevent ANY of them from leaving with the ToD trophy! That blood-stained relic means more to Mondo & the people than LIFE ITSELF… for all the lost souls, everybody who’s ever been tormented or bullied… for the bloody injustices of mankind MONDO WILL PREVAIL at ToD!
CZWO!!
Onita's Xtreme Delegation!!
The Black Army!!
Everybody is looking to take home the Tournament of Death Trophy!!
Only at "Baptized in Blood 2"!!
** CUT **
*************
"Missy's Manor"
Special episode of “Missy’s Manor” featuring her boys the Diamond Dynasty… another entertaining, character-building sketch where Matt Morgan & Alex Riley get to put over their privileged, arrogant, professional jock personas and “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers lords over the proceedings like a billionaire sports agent… the Dynasty target the New Age Outlaws with their promo, and are so confident in their abilities – and such prolific betting men – that they’re willing to double-up that $25k the NAO stole from them previously (see XPW TV Episode #42)!... Fuck it, double THAT! $100K says the NAO don’t have what it takes to beat the Dynasty (Morgan & Riley) two-on-two!!! Wow what a bet! The Dynasty is putting their money where their mouth is, and putting NAO’s manhood on the line! How will the New Age Outlaws respond???
** CUT **
*************
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
Backstage correspondent MSD catches up with B&B&B associates Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs… somber remembrance of Carl Beane and condolences to his family… MSD asks how his business partners will proceed? Paul Bowser responds that they are forfeiting their PPV match and retracting their bid… Logan Boggs says Carl Beane really wanted to bring big-time wrestling back to Boston MA but that dream no longer seems practical in the wake of such catastrophic loss… just then – none other than JON MOXLEY saunters into the scene! The disturbing, “James Dean of the gangsta rap era” Jon Moxley shoulders up to Bowser and Boggs in an uncomfortable scene… ostensibly he is offering his condolences on their loss as well, but every word is dripping with bitter sarcasm – as if he blames THEM for Beane’s death in some karmic, roundabout way… he also cryptically warns them that it was wise to drop their PPV match against the Black Army, lest any MORE unfortunate tragedies befall them… just the way he says that, smirks and then powders out of the scene, really rubs everybody the wrong way… and you see a subtle fire being lit in the eyes of Bowser & Boggs as they storm off to prepare their “secession speech”…
** CUT **
______________________________________________________
"The Champ IZ HERE"
We are in the backstage area prepping for another long-winded, bitter diatribe from (unofficial) XPW Remixed champion Shane Douglas (w/ Lizzy Borden)… Shane goes off on another “shoot” tirade, targeting “old dinosaurs” like Thesz, Sammartino & French Angel while simultaneously chastising up-and-comers like Human Tornado for not being ready… but he saves his most bitter bile for reigning XPW Boston champion John Cena… but THIS time, Shane Douglas gets his wish… JOHN CENA IS ON THE SET TO ANSWER HIM!
It’s the “Franchise” 1996 versus the “Franchise” of WWE in a verbal confrontation! Epic level! Cena goes quickly from mocking Douglas with humor to pulsating with intensity as he addresses Shane’s gripes and dismantles all of them… Cena is a fighter and if Shane Douglas thinks he can just show up and everybody owes him something, then he’s got another thing coming…. Things are getting really tense here between the two men – when we are interrupted and broken up by ROB BLACK and his entourage!
On behalf of GDT Inc, Black Army & XPW Remixed – Shane Douglas is being recognized for his leading his War Games team to victory @ “Scene of the Crime”… on the flip side of the coin, John Cena too is being recognized for his string of high profile matches and recent title defense at the same show (Rob Black loves Xtreme matches)… Black alludes to some kind of "arrangement" Lizzy Borden helped make (and they share an inside "wink" and smile) therefore he has been granted the authority to announce a huge TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH @ the XPW Remixed premiere supercard “Baptzied in Blood 2”! WHAT!? You’ve heard that right! Shane Douglas (2002) versus John Cena (2012) in a merger of both Shane’s “counterfeit” title and Cena’s “Boston” championship! After BiB2 there can be only ONE! Rob Black stirs the pot – intense staredown from Douglas & Cena – but right before Rob Black exits he remembers something… a tag team main event match TONIGHT. With Shane Douglas & John Cena TEAMING UP! Another stunning Black Army initivative! Now Cena and Douglas’ expressions subtly change, as they are forced to embrace the concept of teaming up TONIGHT! But who will be their opponents!? And on the fade out, Lizzy Borden has one final word for “the champ” John Cena… a literal “FU” if you will…
** CUT **
_______________________________________________________________
"Championship Press Conference"
REPORTER: What does this XPW World title match @ “BiB2” mean to both of you?
LOU THESZ: It was a labor of love for me… I wanted to tell the world what it was like to go up and down the road doing wrestling. During the Depression it was really hard. I devoted my young years to that. When TV came along, I had a lot of visibility. What they are teaching now is choreographed tumbling… It's certainly entertainment, most people know that by now. In my opinion, if you are going to make a living wrestling, you should know how to do it. Some of them today are really great athletes, but few of them have sophisticated wrestling knowledge.
SHEAMUS: I want people walking away from ”Baptized in Blood 2” talking about our match… I’m representing Ireland again, I’m the champion of the United States of America and there are going to be some great matches, but I’m going to give everything I have to steal the show! I’m an Irishman who came up from a small little country, followed his dream to hold the title!
REPORTER: Have you two met within the fantasy wrestling spectrum before?
LOU THESZ: I met him and he's a nice guy. I'm pleased that he's making a living. We have mutual respect. I respect him for his abilities, but as far as the quality of his wrestling, I really don't know. I am flattered that he uses the Lou Thesz press, but it's actually a flying body scissors.
SHEAMUS: Ah no, I’ll leave’m in the match he’s in… I don’t need him shouting at me. (laughs) I’m not happy until I’m going forward and accomplishing goals…
REPORTER: Each of you are legendary heavyweight wrestlers in their prime. This is a fantasy match-up they’ll be talking about for eons.
LOU THESZ: Sheamus is a very good athlete. He's probably the best Irish wrestler we ever had. I won the title a couple times… he’s a good wrestler. A competent wrestler, but maybe not as swift. Very popular. He had a great image. They would sell-out people. We made a lot of business at Maple Leaf Gardens and the Forum.
SHEAMUS: knew that to beat Lou Thesz at ”BiB2” was going to be the icing on the cake for one of the best rookie years that ever happened in fantasy wrestling history… but at BiB2 I put him on the shelf . . . definitely a nice way to put him out. Hoping he’d be gone for good…
REPORTER: What is your take on Rob Black’s debut in Fantasy Wrestling, and him coming to buy back XPW Remixed?
LOU THESZ: That was entertained many years ago. He tried to do that in Tennessee. After I talked to the union people, I realized it was nefarious promoters of nefarious union people. I didn't like what I heard. The climate hasn't changed. You are going to be under someone's thumb either way.
SHEAMUS: There aren’t going to be too many happy people in the audience, but that’s okay.
REPORTER: This is the first time in Territory Wars history the XPW title has been accredited “world title” status… what does that monumental achievement mean to each of you? And how will you each try to carry the torch in the future?
SHEAMUS: Being the champion is a big deal for me. Knowing that my ancestors built this country, it’s kind of like, the Irish were treated badly in this country for a long time, with a lot of tacky Irish stereotypes, so to me it’s kind of like a bragging right. I’m enjoying shoving it down people’s throats that an Irish guy is their champion.
LOU THESZ: My mentor and friend Ed 'Strangler' Lewis wrestled until 65. He taught me how to control myself in business as well as in the ring. He had tremendous name recognition worldwide, before plane travel. I don't know who else who is around who has visibility. I'm surprised that I have the visibility that I do, to be honest. When I said wrestle, that's what I did. I took the title around the world. I'm really flattered by the recognition. Sometimes it's even better than money. I did the best that I could with the tools that I had. Farmer Burns coached Karl Gotch. I met Farmer Burns when I was 17, it was like meeting the President of the United States. I tried to emulate what these people did.
REPORTER: Sheamus, what will be your strategy going into “Baptized in Blood 2”?
SHEAMUS: Well, I’m gonna have to try and catch him. The great thing about the match is it’s a good story, the big guy against the smaller guy, one of the best stories you can tell. For everyone watching the height difference and strength difference we have, it will be an interesting bout. I’ll do my best to try and ground him but it’s very hard to try and catch a flying squirrel. He’s up against it. But I’m grand once I keep winning trophies. That’s all that counts. I’m going to BiB2, and from there I just want to keep taking leaps and bounds until I become one of the greatest ever. I can’t complain right now, I’m enjoying myself, the matches are great and I’m making a name for myself. I keep building that Celtic Warrior brand.
REPORTER: Mister Thesz, do you agree with the direction Rob Black wants to continue XPW Remixed taking? Or do you plan on protesting the potential purchase? And are the sex, drinking and drugs worse today than yesterday?
LOU THESZ: Not to the degree that it does today, with the porno stuff. Some of the guys did some drinking. Drugs were not on the scene at all, we weren't even aware of them. The guys doing the drinking weren't on the top, that's for sure. We had a few sex scandals. Some of the girls, waiting to say hello to the athletes, they were available to whomever wanted them. That was always around. We used to call them arena rats, though that isn't very nice. They were just hanging around as party girls.
XPW Remixed president Ed “Strangler” Lewis – who has been sitting between both men, mediating the exchange – wraps up the Q&A session with two bombshell announcements… 1st) Lou Thesz & Sheamus will be teaming up TONIGHT in a tornado tag team match (against Cena & Douglas)! Sheamus & Thesz become enraged! A “BiB2” main event preview! And the 2nd announcement… oh no, wait! Sheamus & Lou Thesz have erupted from their spots at the podium! Tables and chairs are overturned! Paperwork is scattered everywhere, and people dive for cover as Thesz & Sheamus goes nose-to-nose, shouting each other down! This is madness! Everybody jumps in to separate the two, and cameras fade out… Ed Lewis never got to Announcement #2…
LOU THESZ & SHEAMUS
Versus
JOHN CENA & SHANE DOUGLAS!!
Tonight!
** CUT **
___________________________________________________________
** Best of 7 Series (#6) **
SAMOA JOE (2007) versus
BRUNO SAMMARTINO (1973)
("Falls Count Anywhere Match")
versus
Joined in progress backstage – both men brawling wildly and uncontrollably in their street clothes, tearing entire rooms apart… a live action Hollywood fight scene at its pulse-pounding finest… Sammartino and Samoa Joe destroy a locker room and send backstage personnel scattering… both men driven through a drywall into the next part of the building… Sammartino with a European uppercut… Samoa Joe with an Irish whip and Sammartino goes crashing into the backstage lighting and accessories… really stiff, “shoot-style” stuff here from both men… Sammartino fights back and sends Samoa Joe bursting through a backstage door and into the catering section… chaos continues to ensue as the announcers try to make reason of it, and we are forced into commercial break… Chaos in XPW Remixed tonight!
Sammartino slams Samoa Joe’s head into a staircase, and even tries to curb stomp Joe’s skull! But Joe fights back and the two men continue their wild brawl… Samoa Joe chokes Sammartino on the floor, and hits a series of knees - followed by a running boot that knocks Sammartino over a stairwell wall… Samoa Joe gets a near fall on the tile floor… Samoa Joe sends Sammartino into another brick wall but Sammartino punches back… Samoa Joe with a head kick nearly kills Bruno, and he sends Sammartino into a glass partition backstage (SMASHING it dramatically)… Joe seems winded and ready to end this wild ride, but Bruno kicks out! So Samoa Joe angrily stomps the shit out of him on the floor before trying to lock in his rear naked choke! Another ill thing about this fight – as it transpires backstage, the roar of the crowd is but a buzz in the background – putting an emphasis more on dialogue between the two men… so every struggle, threat and challenge made by each man is picked up on camera… here Joe is literally threatening to KILL Bruno live on TV!
But Bruno won’t die, and he fights back like an Italian superman! Sammartino with punches and kicks, yelling at Joe to stay down! They’re fighting in what appears to be a parking lot or something… Sammartino hurls Joe into the hood of a car… but he can’t keep Joe down for a 3-count (as the diligent XPW referee follows them throughout the building – but he’s only there to count the fall, as the announcers continually remind you)… Sammartino punches Samoa Joe but Samoa Joe with a back heel kick - and then he sets Bruno up for a pump handle slam on a car hood!! But Sammartino fights out with elbows and clotheslines Joe right off the hood of the car! Joe crashes right onto the hood of an adjacent car in a wicked bump! “XPW! XPW!” chants… Samoa Joe rolls to the concrete floor in obvious pain, and sammartino sends him over the stone divider… he drags Samoa Joe back into the building, where the wreckage from their fight is still fresh… Bruno slides Joe across the catering table in the hallway – then hurls him into a laundry cart and a production container… Bruno is on fire, and fighting with an unseen intensity… Sammartino sends Samoa Joe hard into another wall, and goes for a steel chair! But Samoa Joe ducks at the last instant (or he would be DEAD) and Sammartino cracks the wall with the chair… They continue to fight into the back (scattering people everywhere they go) and the elevator doors open… Joe & Bruno actually brawl ONTO the elevator!
We cut to security camera footage from INSIDE the elevator, where the fight is continuing! Sammartino punches Samoa Joe and they continue to struggle… finally, the elevator stops on the next floor – and there’s the referee waiting to resume where he left off when the elevator doors shut him out… More people flee while the battle continues! Sammartino rolls into the hallway and struggles to his feet... Joe charges off the elevator for a spear - but Sammartino spinebusters him through a nearby wall! Sammartino nearly collapses on Joe and gets the quick 3-count! OMG Sammartino has done it! He's come from behind to even the score 3-3! Sammartino's arm is raised by the ref, but he can barely stand... and now Joe has been driven into a RAGE...
Winner: BRUNO SAMMARTINO
Suddenly Joe ATTACKS Bruno from behind! The camera is knocked ASKEW in the struggle! We hear violent sound effects, and finally a woman SCREAMING! When cameras finally jostle into focus… we see an over the shoulder shot of Samoa Joe looking down two flights of stone stairs… there, at the bottom – in a bloody, crumpled, unmoving heap – is Bruno Sammartino! He took a two-story plunge down two flights of stairs! Samoa Joe just stares angrily at Bruno for a few moments while being held back by security (soaking up his handiwork perhaps?) before storming out of a side exit in the building, setting off the alarm… referees and paramedics tend to Bruno unconscious on the concrete floor…
** CUT **
”DOUBLE UP”
New Age Outlaws promo where they answer the Dynasty’s challenge – they still display some of that classic Attitude-era “DX” attitude – but Road Dogg & Billy Gunn are more serious now than perhaps you’ve ever seen them… The NAO ACCEPT the Dynasty’s challenge and will fight them at BiB2! But the NAO know the Dynasty is a betting firm, so they’re offering to raise the stakes even higher… not just $100k on the line, but history as well… Dogg & Gunn are willing to put themselves on the line in this match! In a $100k “Losers Must Disband”! challenge! Now are the Dynasty man enough to accept THAT?? If they win, the NAO will break up for good! Or vice versa! Oh my, the stakes have just been raised considerably! One tag team will come to a permanent end at BiB2!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_____________________________________________________
"To Secede or to Rebel..."
The last remnants of B&B&B Enterprise (Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs) enter the ring for their secession speech… security escorts them, and surround the ring... Bowser & Boggs are greeted with a standing ovation from the audience, as still photos of Carl Beane play on the entrance screen… Logan Boggs thanks the fans and big ups the XPW Remixed product and audience… Paul Bowser does the same, but mid-way through his speech – we’re interrupted by the BLACK ARMY!
Enter Rob Black and his crew!
Very condescending (bordering on degrading) promo from Black, addressed to Bowser & Boggs… Rob Black was so confident B&B&B Enterprises would vanish without a fight that he was willing to FEED A PUPPY TO A SNAKE LIVE ON THE INTERNET if they did show up at the PPV! Good thing he didn’t have to go through with THAT little stunt! Wow would PETA be pissed! Rob Black is out here now because he wants to hear their secession speech in person… Kevin Sullivan also thinks that Bowser & Boggs should also kiss Rob Black’s diamond ring on the way out… it’s a “joke”, but the way he says it (with an arrogant sneer) and the evil, intimidating group of Devil worshippers around him, it comes off more like a THREAT… and Bowser & Boggs don’t take too kindly to threats…
In a stunning turn of events, Paul Bowser grabs the mic and BLASTS Rob Black’s Black Army! Carrying the weight of the Territory Wars on his shoulders, Paul Bowser lambastes everything the Black Army stands for and believes in… he likens them to a “pox” or “hex” upon fantasy wrestling, intent only on driving this very business straight into the GRAVE! And Paul Bowser, Logan Boggs and all the true wrestling FANS in the world WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT! That’s why Bowser & Boggs are here tonight NOT to offer a “secession speech”… instead they’re here to mobilize the troops, galvanize the movement, and SAVE FANTASY WRESTLING! B&B&B will be @ “BiB2” ready to take back XPW Remixed! Big pop from the fans for that fiery announcement!
After the initial shock of those words wear off, Rob Black is left with that snide smirk upon his face… he anticipated this announcement of course, which is why his recruitment efforts for the BiB2 Survivor Series match never wavered… you see, Rob Black is different from B&B&B Enterprises; different from EVERY other promoter… he knows what sells, he knows what fans want… and he’s not above giving them that… regardless of the boundaries of good taste and decency…
ROB BLACK:
Another thing that is very taboo in our business that we started years ago was depicting drug use. That's very taboo. People don't do that. And I was like, "Well, why? Why can't you do a scene like in 'Scarface?'" The guy's face is in just kilos of coke, and he goes nuts and -- "You can't do that." "Well, why? What do you mean, 'You can't do it?'" "Well, you just can't." But nobody can ever tell me why you can't do it. So we just did it. That's what we do. And that's the other thing that we've been known for. We're known for all this taboo stuff that everyone's said you can't do, and we do it. And we sell it. ... People are bored with the other stuff.
Cue insane run-in! Through the crowd, over the barricade, and into the wall of B&B&B security guards! A massive, white-haired freak (wearing all white) with dilated pupils and white powder caked around his nostrils! In a drug-fueled frenzy, the rotund madman goes ballistic on the security team – hurling them about with reckless abandon! It’s a “shoot atmosphere” setting now, with fans scattering and chaos unfolding…
(Re) Introducing to XPW Remixed…
KILO!!
The madman even no-sells a can of mace spray to the eye! Instead it drives him MORE into a frenzy, and he smashes the guards through security walls and into rows of chairs! He charges the ring to join the Black Army, so now they have Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs alone and surrounded! Rob Black just smiles and his crew begins inching closer, like a pack of ravenous dogs about to devour two defenseless rabbits! Kilo lines up across from them like a raging bull, just snorting and ready to run right through them! There is a moment of tension before Rob Black plays the Nascar role and directs Kilo forward! He charges at Boggs & Bowser, who flinch and brace for contact! But juuuuuust as Kilo is charging across the ring, he’s intercepted! From out of nowhere comes the FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane!) He runs through the ropes to SPEAR Kilo in mid-stride, right in the center of the ring! French Angel stops the attack and saves Bowser & Boggs (who quickly flee from the ring)! Angel and Kilo are locked in mortal combat on the mat, but the brief reprieve gave Bowser & Boggs JUST enough time to escape! Rob Black is irate!
With more security and off-duty police officers getting involved in the mix, we have a break down in action… slowly the two sides begin congealing at ringside… Rob Black’s “BLACK ARMY” inside the ring (including Snuff w/ Kevin Sullivan, Jon Moxley, Hakushi Kuro & now KILO)… and B&B&B’s back-up in the aisle way (including Mil Mascaras, Human Tornado & now French Angel)… both sides are angrily staring each other down and shouting threats… Rob Black’s grating voice once again cuts above the fracas… full-blown, foul-mouthed & vulgar tirade against B&B&B Enterprises… In the entrance ramp, Mascaras & Angel hold Paul Bowser back while Human Tornado looks on angrily… Logan Boggs is making a cellphone call, and walking back up the entrance ramp as he does… Rob Black continues - Fantasy Wrestling is SICK of the politics, policies and handcuffs! Fantasy Wrestling needs to be SAVED before it goes the way of the dinosaur, dodo bird or AWA! And Rob Black isn’t the only guy in Fantasy Wrestling to realize this… he has some powerful allies in high positions… ominous words to introduce the final member of the Black Army at “Baptized in Blood 2”…
A huge BLAST of pyro lights up the entrance ramp, momentarily stunning Logan Boggs as he stands right in the middle… Suddenly somebody bursts through the entrance curtain to SMASH A GUITAR OVER LOGAN BOGGS HEAD! OMG look who it is!!!
JEFF JARRETT!?!?
That’s right, boys! Another victim of the injustice inherent in Boggs & B&B&B Enterprises entire infrastructure! Jeff Jarrett! The creator, founder and DIETY of TNA Wrestling! Cast out of the company HE BUILT at the hands of Logan Boggs! Now he’s linking up with Rob Black & the Black Army to seek his revenge and TAKE BACK FANTASY WRESTLING!
JEFF JARRETT: At the end of the day, professional wrestling has been in my family for over 70 years… it’s in my blood! I’ve also found it very rewarding to be part of an organization that’s always had a never-say-die attitude, and we’re right here on the cusp of launching several other programs - so XPW Remixed is thriving globally! Logan Boggs… I don’t want to comment on the personal side, but I will say this: like any two creative minds in professional wrestling, we do have different thoughts, different philosophies, and business differences, and I don’t think that’s uncommon when you have a 30-year age gap. The professional wrestling business is entirely different from what it was just 10 years ago, with the advent of social media and how fans consume the product… and in this business, there’s really only one group of people that you ultimately have to answer to… THE BLACK ARMY! Always have been, and always will be THE ULTIMATE BOSS!
The Black Army unites and celebrates… Logan Boggs does a stretcher job… the rest of Team B&B&B look concerned, and perhaps slightly overmatched… what can they possibly bring to “Baptized in Blood 2” to even these insurmountable odds??
** CUT **
__________________________________________________________
** Main Event **
LOU THESZ (1952) & SHEAMUS (2012)
versus
JOHN CENA (2012) & SHANE DOUGLAS w/ Lizzy Borden (2002)
(Tornado Tag Team Match)
versus
w/
Big made-4-TV entrances from all men… just the stare downs, cross-pollination of timelines, and 4-way feud possibilities alone are chill inducing… never mind the crowd nirvana behind them, producing a surge of wild humanity that translates very vibrantly on the screen… this is one rowdy mass of humanity... like ATL 1998 as Goldberg takes on Hollywood Hogan for the title… tension is thick in the air, like VKM Jr just walked out for the first time on RAW to fight Stone Cold Steve Austin (with one arm tied behind his back)… and for a few glorious minutes we get just that… exciting fantasy warfare with Shane Douglas trying to freeze John Cena from the match, and Lou Thesz/Sheamus constantly trying to one-up each other… but in the end, anarchy rules and the match completely breaks down... John Cena winds up having some words with Lizzy Borden outside the ring that quickly escalates... Sheamus accidentally takes out the ref with a Brogue kick… another ref is trying to pry Lou Thesz off John Cena (another dream match!), but Thesz is so involved in the heat of the moment that he HURLS the referee to the mat and continues brawling! Shane Douglas sneak attacks his own partner John Cena!
SHANE DOUGLAS SMASHES JOHN CENA WITH THE BELT!
From behind with the counterfeit XPW belt (handed to him by Lizzy Borden!) Shane Douglas comes face-to-face with Lou Thesz and tells him (with a belligerent “F” bomb) that SHANE IS THE FN MAN AROUND HERE! Sheamus comes full steam ahead for another Brogue kick, but Douglas ducks and SHEAMUS KICKS LOU THESZ!
BROGUE KICK FROM SHEAMUS TO THESZ! But was it accidental?!?!
Still no referee! But now John Cena is back and TACKLES Shane Douglas through the ropes! The two men are brawling wildly at ringside! Sheamus is trying to tend on Lou Thesz, but referees and officials pull him off! That slight distraction allows (the near ferocious with anger) Lou Thesz to buckle Sheamus from behind and LOCK IN AN STF on the Celtic Warrior!
THESZ WITH THE STF ON SHEAMUS!!
Oh my, Sheamus is tapping out in pain in the center of the ring to Lou Thesz’ crippling submission hold! Meanwhile, Cena & Douglas have taken their brawl into the stands! They fight all the way out the building!
Winner: NONE (no finish)
The bell begins tolling wildly; signifying an end to the “match”… more referees, security and off-duty police rush the scene to separate the 4 men… Lou Thesz finally breaks the hold and a sea of officials separate him in the ring from Sheamus (slowly getting to his feet and selling the pain of the STF)… enter the voice of reason in this sea of madness…
XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS
1) Instant replay of the referee assaults perpetuated by Thesz/Sheamus (both this week and last Episode).
2) Both men to be fined $25k for the grievance.
3) The XPW Championship match @ BiB2 is being held to an all-new standard, ever since “World” title recognition has been received… therefore it must be decided in “Best 2 out of 3 Falls” fashion.
4) Finally… the announcement Ed Lewis never got to make at the press conference…
Ladies & gentleman, please give a warm XPW Remixed round of applause for the man who will be assuming special GUEST REFEREE duties @ “Baptized in Blood 2”…
”MR PERFECT” CURT HENNIG!!
MR. PERFECT: You know, the more I listen to you imperfect people, the more I realize how much trouble you’re trying to start. You don’t have the right to ask me about the perfect referee. Understand me? Right now, the only goals that Mr Perfect would like to achieve are… well, whatever I decide to make of my future, Mr. Perfect’s gonna do it! You can’t stop me, Mash-Up Wrestling can’t stop me, and nobody will stop Mr. Perfect. Lou Thesz… that’s where your wrestling ability ends. It may help you win your matches against other wrestlers here, but it won’t help you one bit when you get in that ring and look Mr. Perfect in the face. Because no matter what you do, I can do better. And Sheamus, I won’t give you a chance to hit me [like he hit the other referees]… It’s as easy as that! When I get in the ring, I’m gonna be all over the Celtic Warrior. He won’t have enough time to think, let alone try to hit me with that illegal kick of his. Remember - I’m absolutely perfect, and that’s how I’ll stay!!
Crowd is cheering/booing! Sheamus & Thesz exchange furious, yet uneasy glares! Ed "Strangler" Lewis & Mr Perfect shake hands at the top of the ramp, smile and pose for pictures! Oh my, "Baptized in Blood 2" is shaping up to be an All-Star gala affair!!
** FADE OUT **
_________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed
presents…
BAPTIZED IN BLOOD 2
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz (1952) © versus Sheamus (2012)
("Best 2 out of 3 Falls" match)
** with special referee MR PERFECT!! **
"Real Deal" Damien Steele vs William Muldoon
(XPW Commissioner office on the line)
** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos © (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Motor City Machine Guns
** Tournament of DEATH **
Feat: "Sick" Nick Mondo, Messiah, John Zandig, Sami Callihan, Drake Younger, Thumbtack Jack, Jun Kasai and a SURPRISE ENTRANT
Diamond Dynasty versus New Age Outlaws
(Losers Must Disband)
Samoa Joe (2007) versus Bruno Sammartino (1973)
("Best of 7" Series #7!!)
Team B&B&B (feat. Mil Mascaras, Human Tornado, French Angel & 2 Mystery Partners)
versus
BLACK Army (feat. SNUFF, Jon Moxley, Hakushi Kuro, Kilo & Jeff Jarrett)
(Control of XPW Remixed)
Phil "Gunner" Shatter (2013) versus Austin Idol (1982)
(REAL Kings Explode! And Jessica Darlin is caught in the middle!)
** XPW Title Unification Match **
John Cena (2012) © vs Shane Douglas w/ Lizzy Borden (2002) ©
_____________________________________________
CREDITS:
ROB BLACK: PBS Frontline Interview (2002)
SHEAMUS: Irish Central Interview (3/30/11)
LOU THESZ: SLAM! Wrestlechat (2/27/01)
MR PERFECT: WWF Magazine (January 1991)
JEFF JARRETT: Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine (July 2012)
__________________________________________________________________________
("Falls Count Anywhere Match")
versus
Joined in progress backstage – both men brawling wildly and uncontrollably in their street clothes, tearing entire rooms apart… a live action Hollywood fight scene at its pulse-pounding finest… Sammartino and Samoa Joe destroy a locker room and send backstage personnel scattering… both men driven through a drywall into the next part of the building… Sammartino with a European uppercut… Samoa Joe with an Irish whip and Sammartino goes crashing into the backstage lighting and accessories… really stiff, “shoot-style” stuff here from both men… Sammartino fights back and sends Samoa Joe bursting through a backstage door and into the catering section… chaos continues to ensue as the announcers try to make reason of it, and we are forced into commercial break… Chaos in XPW Remixed tonight!
Sammartino slams Samoa Joe’s head into a staircase, and even tries to curb stomp Joe’s skull! But Joe fights back and the two men continue their wild brawl… Samoa Joe chokes Sammartino on the floor, and hits a series of knees - followed by a running boot that knocks Sammartino over a stairwell wall… Samoa Joe gets a near fall on the tile floor… Samoa Joe sends Sammartino into another brick wall but Sammartino punches back… Samoa Joe with a head kick nearly kills Bruno, and he sends Sammartino into a glass partition backstage (SMASHING it dramatically)… Joe seems winded and ready to end this wild ride, but Bruno kicks out! So Samoa Joe angrily stomps the shit out of him on the floor before trying to lock in his rear naked choke! Another ill thing about this fight – as it transpires backstage, the roar of the crowd is but a buzz in the background – putting an emphasis more on dialogue between the two men… so every struggle, threat and challenge made by each man is picked up on camera… here Joe is literally threatening to KILL Bruno live on TV!
But Bruno won’t die, and he fights back like an Italian superman! Sammartino with punches and kicks, yelling at Joe to stay down! They’re fighting in what appears to be a parking lot or something… Sammartino hurls Joe into the hood of a car… but he can’t keep Joe down for a 3-count (as the diligent XPW referee follows them throughout the building – but he’s only there to count the fall, as the announcers continually remind you)… Sammartino punches Samoa Joe but Samoa Joe with a back heel kick - and then he sets Bruno up for a pump handle slam on a car hood!! But Sammartino fights out with elbows and clotheslines Joe right off the hood of the car! Joe crashes right onto the hood of an adjacent car in a wicked bump! “XPW! XPW!” chants… Samoa Joe rolls to the concrete floor in obvious pain, and sammartino sends him over the stone divider… he drags Samoa Joe back into the building, where the wreckage from their fight is still fresh… Bruno slides Joe across the catering table in the hallway – then hurls him into a laundry cart and a production container… Bruno is on fire, and fighting with an unseen intensity… Sammartino sends Samoa Joe hard into another wall, and goes for a steel chair! But Samoa Joe ducks at the last instant (or he would be DEAD) and Sammartino cracks the wall with the chair… They continue to fight into the back (scattering people everywhere they go) and the elevator doors open… Joe & Bruno actually brawl ONTO the elevator!
We cut to security camera footage from INSIDE the elevator, where the fight is continuing! Sammartino punches Samoa Joe and they continue to struggle… finally, the elevator stops on the next floor – and there’s the referee waiting to resume where he left off when the elevator doors shut him out… More people flee while the battle continues! Sammartino rolls into the hallway and struggles to his feet... Joe charges off the elevator for a spear - but Sammartino spinebusters him through a nearby wall! Sammartino nearly collapses on Joe and gets the quick 3-count! OMG Sammartino has done it! He's come from behind to even the score 3-3! Sammartino's arm is raised by the ref, but he can barely stand... and now Joe has been driven into a RAGE...
Winner: BRUNO SAMMARTINO
Suddenly Joe ATTACKS Bruno from behind! The camera is knocked ASKEW in the struggle! We hear violent sound effects, and finally a woman SCREAMING! When cameras finally jostle into focus… we see an over the shoulder shot of Samoa Joe looking down two flights of stone stairs… there, at the bottom – in a bloody, crumpled, unmoving heap – is Bruno Sammartino! He took a two-story plunge down two flights of stairs! Samoa Joe just stares angrily at Bruno for a few moments while being held back by security (soaking up his handiwork perhaps?) before storming out of a side exit in the building, setting off the alarm… referees and paramedics tend to Bruno unconscious on the concrete floor…
** CUT **
”DOUBLE UP”
New Age Outlaws promo where they answer the Dynasty’s challenge – they still display some of that classic Attitude-era “DX” attitude – but Road Dogg & Billy Gunn are more serious now than perhaps you’ve ever seen them… The NAO ACCEPT the Dynasty’s challenge and will fight them at BiB2! But the NAO know the Dynasty is a betting firm, so they’re offering to raise the stakes even higher… not just $100k on the line, but history as well… Dogg & Gunn are willing to put themselves on the line in this match! In a $100k “Losers Must Disband”! challenge! Now are the Dynasty man enough to accept THAT?? If they win, the NAO will break up for good! Or vice versa! Oh my, the stakes have just been raised considerably! One tag team will come to a permanent end at BiB2!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_____________________________________________________
"To Secede or to Rebel..."
The last remnants of B&B&B Enterprise (Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs) enter the ring for their secession speech… security escorts them, and surround the ring... Bowser & Boggs are greeted with a standing ovation from the audience, as still photos of Carl Beane play on the entrance screen… Logan Boggs thanks the fans and big ups the XPW Remixed product and audience… Paul Bowser does the same, but mid-way through his speech – we’re interrupted by the BLACK ARMY!
Enter Rob Black and his crew!
Very condescending (bordering on degrading) promo from Black, addressed to Bowser & Boggs… Rob Black was so confident B&B&B Enterprises would vanish without a fight that he was willing to FEED A PUPPY TO A SNAKE LIVE ON THE INTERNET if they did show up at the PPV! Good thing he didn’t have to go through with THAT little stunt! Wow would PETA be pissed! Rob Black is out here now because he wants to hear their secession speech in person… Kevin Sullivan also thinks that Bowser & Boggs should also kiss Rob Black’s diamond ring on the way out… it’s a “joke”, but the way he says it (with an arrogant sneer) and the evil, intimidating group of Devil worshippers around him, it comes off more like a THREAT… and Bowser & Boggs don’t take too kindly to threats…
In a stunning turn of events, Paul Bowser grabs the mic and BLASTS Rob Black’s Black Army! Carrying the weight of the Territory Wars on his shoulders, Paul Bowser lambastes everything the Black Army stands for and believes in… he likens them to a “pox” or “hex” upon fantasy wrestling, intent only on driving this very business straight into the GRAVE! And Paul Bowser, Logan Boggs and all the true wrestling FANS in the world WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT! That’s why Bowser & Boggs are here tonight NOT to offer a “secession speech”… instead they’re here to mobilize the troops, galvanize the movement, and SAVE FANTASY WRESTLING! B&B&B will be @ “BiB2” ready to take back XPW Remixed! Big pop from the fans for that fiery announcement!
After the initial shock of those words wear off, Rob Black is left with that snide smirk upon his face… he anticipated this announcement of course, which is why his recruitment efforts for the BiB2 Survivor Series match never wavered… you see, Rob Black is different from B&B&B Enterprises; different from EVERY other promoter… he knows what sells, he knows what fans want… and he’s not above giving them that… regardless of the boundaries of good taste and decency…
ROB BLACK:
Another thing that is very taboo in our business that we started years ago was depicting drug use. That's very taboo. People don't do that. And I was like, "Well, why? Why can't you do a scene like in 'Scarface?'" The guy's face is in just kilos of coke, and he goes nuts and -- "You can't do that." "Well, why? What do you mean, 'You can't do it?'" "Well, you just can't." But nobody can ever tell me why you can't do it. So we just did it. That's what we do. And that's the other thing that we've been known for. We're known for all this taboo stuff that everyone's said you can't do, and we do it. And we sell it. ... People are bored with the other stuff.
Cue insane run-in! Through the crowd, over the barricade, and into the wall of B&B&B security guards! A massive, white-haired freak (wearing all white) with dilated pupils and white powder caked around his nostrils! In a drug-fueled frenzy, the rotund madman goes ballistic on the security team – hurling them about with reckless abandon! It’s a “shoot atmosphere” setting now, with fans scattering and chaos unfolding…
(Re) Introducing to XPW Remixed…
KILO!!
The madman even no-sells a can of mace spray to the eye! Instead it drives him MORE into a frenzy, and he smashes the guards through security walls and into rows of chairs! He charges the ring to join the Black Army, so now they have Paul Bowser & Logan Boggs alone and surrounded! Rob Black just smiles and his crew begins inching closer, like a pack of ravenous dogs about to devour two defenseless rabbits! Kilo lines up across from them like a raging bull, just snorting and ready to run right through them! There is a moment of tension before Rob Black plays the Nascar role and directs Kilo forward! He charges at Boggs & Bowser, who flinch and brace for contact! But juuuuuust as Kilo is charging across the ring, he’s intercepted! From out of nowhere comes the FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane!) He runs through the ropes to SPEAR Kilo in mid-stride, right in the center of the ring! French Angel stops the attack and saves Bowser & Boggs (who quickly flee from the ring)! Angel and Kilo are locked in mortal combat on the mat, but the brief reprieve gave Bowser & Boggs JUST enough time to escape! Rob Black is irate!
With more security and off-duty police officers getting involved in the mix, we have a break down in action… slowly the two sides begin congealing at ringside… Rob Black’s “BLACK ARMY” inside the ring (including Snuff w/ Kevin Sullivan, Jon Moxley, Hakushi Kuro & now KILO)… and B&B&B’s back-up in the aisle way (including Mil Mascaras, Human Tornado & now French Angel)… both sides are angrily staring each other down and shouting threats… Rob Black’s grating voice once again cuts above the fracas… full-blown, foul-mouthed & vulgar tirade against B&B&B Enterprises… In the entrance ramp, Mascaras & Angel hold Paul Bowser back while Human Tornado looks on angrily… Logan Boggs is making a cellphone call, and walking back up the entrance ramp as he does… Rob Black continues - Fantasy Wrestling is SICK of the politics, policies and handcuffs! Fantasy Wrestling needs to be SAVED before it goes the way of the dinosaur, dodo bird or AWA! And Rob Black isn’t the only guy in Fantasy Wrestling to realize this… he has some powerful allies in high positions… ominous words to introduce the final member of the Black Army at “Baptized in Blood 2”…
A huge BLAST of pyro lights up the entrance ramp, momentarily stunning Logan Boggs as he stands right in the middle… Suddenly somebody bursts through the entrance curtain to SMASH A GUITAR OVER LOGAN BOGGS HEAD! OMG look who it is!!!
JEFF JARRETT!?!?
That’s right, boys! Another victim of the injustice inherent in Boggs & B&B&B Enterprises entire infrastructure! Jeff Jarrett! The creator, founder and DIETY of TNA Wrestling! Cast out of the company HE BUILT at the hands of Logan Boggs! Now he’s linking up with Rob Black & the Black Army to seek his revenge and TAKE BACK FANTASY WRESTLING!
JEFF JARRETT: At the end of the day, professional wrestling has been in my family for over 70 years… it’s in my blood! I’ve also found it very rewarding to be part of an organization that’s always had a never-say-die attitude, and we’re right here on the cusp of launching several other programs - so XPW Remixed is thriving globally! Logan Boggs… I don’t want to comment on the personal side, but I will say this: like any two creative minds in professional wrestling, we do have different thoughts, different philosophies, and business differences, and I don’t think that’s uncommon when you have a 30-year age gap. The professional wrestling business is entirely different from what it was just 10 years ago, with the advent of social media and how fans consume the product… and in this business, there’s really only one group of people that you ultimately have to answer to… THE BLACK ARMY! Always have been, and always will be THE ULTIMATE BOSS!
The Black Army unites and celebrates… Logan Boggs does a stretcher job… the rest of Team B&B&B look concerned, and perhaps slightly overmatched… what can they possibly bring to “Baptized in Blood 2” to even these insurmountable odds??
** CUT **
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** Main Event **
LOU THESZ (1952) & SHEAMUS (2012)
versus
JOHN CENA (2012) & SHANE DOUGLAS w/ Lizzy Borden (2002)
(Tornado Tag Team Match)
versus
w/
Big made-4-TV entrances from all men… just the stare downs, cross-pollination of timelines, and 4-way feud possibilities alone are chill inducing… never mind the crowd nirvana behind them, producing a surge of wild humanity that translates very vibrantly on the screen… this is one rowdy mass of humanity... like ATL 1998 as Goldberg takes on Hollywood Hogan for the title… tension is thick in the air, like VKM Jr just walked out for the first time on RAW to fight Stone Cold Steve Austin (with one arm tied behind his back)… and for a few glorious minutes we get just that… exciting fantasy warfare with Shane Douglas trying to freeze John Cena from the match, and Lou Thesz/Sheamus constantly trying to one-up each other… but in the end, anarchy rules and the match completely breaks down... John Cena winds up having some words with Lizzy Borden outside the ring that quickly escalates... Sheamus accidentally takes out the ref with a Brogue kick… another ref is trying to pry Lou Thesz off John Cena (another dream match!), but Thesz is so involved in the heat of the moment that he HURLS the referee to the mat and continues brawling! Shane Douglas sneak attacks his own partner John Cena!
SHANE DOUGLAS SMASHES JOHN CENA WITH THE BELT!
From behind with the counterfeit XPW belt (handed to him by Lizzy Borden!) Shane Douglas comes face-to-face with Lou Thesz and tells him (with a belligerent “F” bomb) that SHANE IS THE FN MAN AROUND HERE! Sheamus comes full steam ahead for another Brogue kick, but Douglas ducks and SHEAMUS KICKS LOU THESZ!
BROGUE KICK FROM SHEAMUS TO THESZ! But was it accidental?!?!
Still no referee! But now John Cena is back and TACKLES Shane Douglas through the ropes! The two men are brawling wildly at ringside! Sheamus is trying to tend on Lou Thesz, but referees and officials pull him off! That slight distraction allows (the near ferocious with anger) Lou Thesz to buckle Sheamus from behind and LOCK IN AN STF on the Celtic Warrior!
THESZ WITH THE STF ON SHEAMUS!!
Oh my, Sheamus is tapping out in pain in the center of the ring to Lou Thesz’ crippling submission hold! Meanwhile, Cena & Douglas have taken their brawl into the stands! They fight all the way out the building!
Winner: NONE (no finish)
The bell begins tolling wildly; signifying an end to the “match”… more referees, security and off-duty police rush the scene to separate the 4 men… Lou Thesz finally breaks the hold and a sea of officials separate him in the ring from Sheamus (slowly getting to his feet and selling the pain of the STF)… enter the voice of reason in this sea of madness…
XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS
1) Instant replay of the referee assaults perpetuated by Thesz/Sheamus (both this week and last Episode).
2) Both men to be fined $25k for the grievance.
3) The XPW Championship match @ BiB2 is being held to an all-new standard, ever since “World” title recognition has been received… therefore it must be decided in “Best 2 out of 3 Falls” fashion.
4) Finally… the announcement Ed Lewis never got to make at the press conference…
Ladies & gentleman, please give a warm XPW Remixed round of applause for the man who will be assuming special GUEST REFEREE duties @ “Baptized in Blood 2”…
”MR PERFECT” CURT HENNIG!!
MR. PERFECT: You know, the more I listen to you imperfect people, the more I realize how much trouble you’re trying to start. You don’t have the right to ask me about the perfect referee. Understand me? Right now, the only goals that Mr Perfect would like to achieve are… well, whatever I decide to make of my future, Mr. Perfect’s gonna do it! You can’t stop me, Mash-Up Wrestling can’t stop me, and nobody will stop Mr. Perfect. Lou Thesz… that’s where your wrestling ability ends. It may help you win your matches against other wrestlers here, but it won’t help you one bit when you get in that ring and look Mr. Perfect in the face. Because no matter what you do, I can do better. And Sheamus, I won’t give you a chance to hit me [like he hit the other referees]… It’s as easy as that! When I get in the ring, I’m gonna be all over the Celtic Warrior. He won’t have enough time to think, let alone try to hit me with that illegal kick of his. Remember - I’m absolutely perfect, and that’s how I’ll stay!!
Crowd is cheering/booing! Sheamus & Thesz exchange furious, yet uneasy glares! Ed "Strangler" Lewis & Mr Perfect shake hands at the top of the ramp, smile and pose for pictures! Oh my, "Baptized in Blood 2" is shaping up to be an All-Star gala affair!!
** FADE OUT **
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XPW Remixed
presents…
BAPTIZED IN BLOOD 2
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz (1952) © versus Sheamus (2012)
("Best 2 out of 3 Falls" match)
** with special referee MR PERFECT!! **
"Real Deal" Damien Steele vs William Muldoon
(XPW Commissioner office on the line)
** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos © (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Motor City Machine Guns
** Tournament of DEATH **
Feat: "Sick" Nick Mondo, Messiah, John Zandig, Sami Callihan, Drake Younger, Thumbtack Jack, Jun Kasai and a SURPRISE ENTRANT
Diamond Dynasty versus New Age Outlaws
(Losers Must Disband)
Samoa Joe (2007) versus Bruno Sammartino (1973)
("Best of 7" Series #7!!)
Team B&B&B (feat. Mil Mascaras, Human Tornado, French Angel & 2 Mystery Partners)
versus
BLACK Army (feat. SNUFF, Jon Moxley, Hakushi Kuro, Kilo & Jeff Jarrett)
(Control of XPW Remixed)
Phil "Gunner" Shatter (2013) versus Austin Idol (1982)
(REAL Kings Explode! And Jessica Darlin is caught in the middle!)
** XPW Title Unification Match **
John Cena (2012) © vs Shane Douglas w/ Lizzy Borden (2002) ©
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CREDITS:
ROB BLACK: PBS Frontline Interview (2002)
SHEAMUS: Irish Central Interview (3/30/11)
LOU THESZ: SLAM! Wrestlechat (2/27/01)
MR PERFECT: WWF Magazine (January 1991)
JEFF JARRETT: Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine (July 2012)
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