Post by MadStepDad on Jun 10, 2012 16:12:49 GMT -5
** BREAKING NEWS **
(New #1 Contender crowned after XPW TV Episode #44 went off the air!)
XPW president Ed Lewis opens up dark match segment – praises B&B&B’s involvement tonight – hypes Pfefer’s new management group next week – and makes his final proclamation for the night… #1 contenders battle royal! Right now!
** BATTLE ROYAL **
Lou Thesz on commentary… Announcement sparks a firestorm of action – Immediately in the ring Jon Moxley blindsides Sheamus and takes over… he’s quickly joined by Jinder Mahal & Hakushi, who double-team Sheamus (while Lou Thesz is led from the ring by security & referees)… just then Buddy Rogers appears on the entrance ramp with Matt Morgan – the Blueprint shrugs off his entrance cape and bolts to the ring – he’s quickly followed by David Otunga (who shakes Ed Lewis hand graciously on the stage before bolting into action)… everybody is beating up on Sheamus, about to toss him from the ring – when a bloody CENA finally interjects! House-clearing brawl from Cena, who is driven into a frenzy! Suddenly he’s joined side-by-side with French Angel! And Human Tornado!
Jon Moxley is eliminated! Jinder Mahal is eliminated! Hakushi Kuro is eliminated! Just then… Douglas sneaks up on Cena from the rear again! John Cena is eliminated (at the hands of Shane Douglas)! Matt Morgan kicks the head off of Human Tornado, eliminating him! But French Angel tosses the Blueprint! Rogers is furious as Sammi Lane claps for her man! We have our Final 4!
Shane Douglas… Sheamus… David Otunga… French Angel…
But just as quickly, Shane Douglas eliminates the Angel (to great boos)… Shane comes to a quick, heelish agreement with Focus magnate David Otunga to double-team Sheamus into oblivion… and it works too, until Cena – in a last bit of blood-stained fury – reenters the ring, clobbers Otunga, and hits an FUAA to Shane Douglas in the center of the ring! “U Can’t See Me!” hand gesture for Shane on Cena’s way out makes a very big statement! Sheamus recuperates and BROGUE KICKS Shane Douglas out of the ring! Brief exchange with Otunga – counter – and hiiiiiiiigh back body drop! Otunga’s body sails over the top rope to the arena floor! Sheamus has done it! He’s the new #1 Contender! Sheamus and Lou Thesz have the big in-ring stare down to end the segment – but no handshake of mutual respect here! They’re jawing furiously, bumping chest to chest and referees and security are forced to intervene! They’re still in each other’s faces as the crowd chants “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!” Meanwhile, Ed Lewis smirks and winks into the camera as we fade out…
Winner (and #1 Contender): SHEAMUS 2012
** CUT TO ONLINE INTRO **
Cut to the in-studio hosts for the show:
SAMMI LANE & FRENCH ANGEL
Effervescent and bubbly intro by Sammi Lane… Big ups to Sheamus (2012), the new #1 contender... she and her boy French Angel Maurice Tillet appreciate the good look in appearing in a #1 Contenders Battle Royal – but while they may have fallen short that, they will not rest until gold is strapped around their waist! Angel would make a beautiful TV champion, an inspiring Boston champion and a tremendous XPW WORLD champion! But one belt Sammi Lane wants NOOOOO part of right now is the XPW Woman’s title… champion Wendi Richter has managed to infuse the title with a new level of legitimacy – but faces perhaps her gravest challenge just on the horizon… keep tuned for more on that. PLUS! The future of XPW Remixed will be decided @ “BiB2” when the 3rd stake in GDT Inc (parent company of XPW Remixed) is the grand prize in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series elimination match! The true spirit of fantasy wrestling continues to shine brightly in XPW Remixed – but who will be the one to shape it’s destiny? Is it a return to the scientific glory days of hard-nosed COMPETITION, as championed by B&B&B Enterprises?? Or will XPW Remixed finally cross the line of good tastes and boundaries for good, if Pfefer’s new “Black Army” is to win? And which way do XPW President Ed Lewis & VP Toots Mondt sway within this decision?? Tune in as teams for this very special attraction match continue to take shape TONIGHT!
** CUT **
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** Anatomy of a Fantasy Wrestling Deal **
Fantasy wrestling draws big time entertainment bucks… if you have a combination package that’s part Vaudeville/live theater/X-Games/Big Fight Night/circus/Rock Concert you can tap into multiple revenue streams at the same time… XPW Remixed is the biggest traveling live variety show in fantasy wrestling today… a true spectacle… exposure to the brand comes exclusively on XPW TV Channel 13 (a local Los Angeles affiliate)… parts of that broadcast and XPW Online are available worldwide on the internet for free… in a constant effort to expand business (particularly in the East, which seems to be a sticking point for Lewis & Mondt) GDT Inc took the XPW Remixed show on tour all along the East coast… it drew up incredible costs far beyond their initial investment scope… so they were forced to scale back, or “retreat” so to speak… they moved (and kept) operations out west – dropped multiple contracts – instituted a series of “Loser Leaves XPW Remixed” matches in their Spring Cleaning initiative… and ousted their 3rd partner in their original arrangement (The Grand Wizard)… now they sit on the hottest property in the Territory Wars, and are constantly looking to expand – hence their search for a 3rd partner…
Package deals are part of corporate SOP… that’s why it wasn’t Eric Bischoff attempting to buy WCW, it was Fusient Media… in XPW Remixed canon, “B&B&B Enterprises” represents that kind of union… a collection of individual superpowers who collectively pooled their resources to offer a can’t beat prospect for GDT Inc… from Triple B - Boston area promoter Paul Bowser offers a valuable cache of East coast connects, including arenas, buildings, TV channels and North East superstars… Logan Boggs offers much of the same, plus Territory Wars longevity… Boston Red Sox voice Carl Beane brings legitimacy, big-league seasoning and a championship aura… all told, they’ve put together a winning bid that immediately got the attention of XPW President Ed “Strangler” Lewis – who invited them into the fold… but his business partner Joseph “Toots” Mondt didn’t agree with that decision…
For reasons best left undisclosed at this time, Toots Mondt does not see eye-to-eye with Triple B’s business philosophy and desperately looked for another competitive bidder… he seems to have found one at the last moment (by dredging the sludgy grime of Fantasy Wrestling’s underbelly for the scuzziest piece of pond scum promoter in history) in JACK PFEFER… for contemporary wrestling fans, imagine a sassy fast-mouthed lawyer-boy in the vein of Paul Heyman, with a very unscrupulous set of business morals… Just like Heyman offered up inner-Industry newsbytes for positive coverage in the Internet dirt sheets – in his day, Pfefer ratted out inner-sanctum secrets to newspaper writers and journalists in an effort to scar the very industry that had blackballed him… best believe the resentment Jack Pfefer felt at being ousted in XPW Remixed has festered within his black soul… now he’s BACK – skirting the letter of the law that got him banned, spearheading a new acquisition company, and promising the GREATEST. RETURN. IN. WRESTLING. HISTORY. America loves an underdog story, and Jack Pfefer is selling the shit out of it… Who is this investor? What part of wrestling history does he hold? And where do the funds from this titanic investment come from? All to be revealed on the next Episode of XPW TV…
** CUT **
** Team B&B&B begins… **
Legendary Boston-area promoter Paul Bowser meets up with Mil Mascaras backstage… they greet and exchange pleasantries… Bowser has recently assigned Olympia head coach (and Mascaras training partner) William Muldoon to a match for the XPW Commissionership at “BiB2”… and would like to offer Mil Mascaras a spot on Team B&B&B at the same PPV! This way - B&B&B Enterprises will beat Pfefer's camp @ the PPV and earn a company stake in XPW Remixed! Mil Mascaras is honored by the invitation and graciously accepts… the masked Mexican superstar whole-heartedly endorses B&B&B Enterprises brand of sportsmanship and competition! Mil Mascaras fights for B&B&B Enterprises at “BiB2”!
** CUT **
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”A Great Punjabi”
Jinder Mahal has stormed backstage after his Battle royal loss, and is caught on camera having a conniption… he blames politics and crooked promoters, and even throttles a harmless TV intern who just happened to be standing nearby… really mean and bullying, Mahal is outraged because he’s so privileged he can’t fathom loss… he’s smacking around this little intern – when suddenly, a great bellow echoes through the corridors – “MAHAL!!” Cameras swing to the far end of the corridor, where we see GREAT GAMA returning to action! With great anger he seeks vengeance upon the one who betrayed him! Gama begins chasing after a clearly spooked Mahal – who quickly slams a corridor door on the charging Gama and flees! But the legendary strongman cannot be denied! Great Gama BURTS through the door like a cannonball shot, and continues his pursuit of Mahal! Jinder flees the building in terror, as Gama knocks over backstage personnel, cameras and tears up video wires in his madd pursuit! Cut to static!!!
** CUT **
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FABULOUS KANGAROOS (w/ Wild Red Berry)
versus
HAVANA PITBULLS
w/
versus
Very sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek “pro-Americana” propaganda video by The Fabulous Kangaroos to start the segment… they put themselves over as bastions of American ideals and athletics – even with their blatant Australian accents and Aussie-themed gear & antics… Part Beverly Bros (1993) / Rougeau Bros (1989) / Dudley Boyz (1998) – the video segues to their grand in-arena procession… complete with anonymous flag-bearer, Australian & American flags, XPW Tag Team championship belts, and manager Wild Red Berry… Berry has the mic for a brief in-ring promo where he cuts down B&B&B Enterprises – puts over his tag champions – and disparages the MCMG (who are getting a title shot @ “BiB2” – see XPW TV Episode #44)… the FabKangs are fighting champions! Cue theme song and entrance of the Havana Pitbulls, who get a big pop upon their appearance… competitive squash match with the FabKangs ultimately feasting on the smaller Pitbulls and finishing Rocky Romero with a modified version of the 3D for the pin… postmatch, cameras catch a glimpse of Ricky Reyes trying to console his tag team partner Rocky Romero, only to be coldly rebuffed and ignored by Rocky who storms backstage… Fabkangs & Berry pose with the belts… but the Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) turn up on the giant video screen to offer a closing series of taunts to the FabKangs… dripping with sarcasm and new-school wit, the MCMG slay FabKangs on the mic – big up Detroit (and it’s “true American ideals”) – and promise championship glory @ “BiB2”!! FabKangs and Berry are irate! Even their dominant victory tonight was overshadowed by these loud-mouth, wise-ass whippersnappers! Outrage!!
Winner: FABULOUS KANGAROOS
** CUT **
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”White Boyz”
versus
Silly little skit in which big bad scary gangsta JTG completely emasculates PG-13 in front of a crowd of onlookers and backstage personnel... really humiliating, as JTG holds nothing back and attacks everything from their hick Nashville upbringing, to their mammas... JTG brags about how he's gonna beat those punk-ass whiteboy wannabe poseurs and flinches like he's gonna strike them -the recoil, but in a flash JC Ice Baby hits JTG in the back of the head from behind! JTG goes down and PG-13 look at each for a second with an "OH SNAP! What did we just do!?!?" look... but instead of fleeing, they EMBRACE IT! PG-13 orchestrates a double-team beat down on JTG! They double team their former mentor and toss him about the backstage area, before finishing with a corny “YO MAMMA” crack as they leave him lying! Cameras happen to catch the tail end of the exchange, and PG-13 get a few moments to cut a promo…
** CUT **
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** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
Sunny is in the locker room complaining to Shad Gaspard about Jun kasai's sickening advances... as she prattles on and on growing more and more frustrated with every word, she finally annoys Gaspard (who is trying to gear up) enough for him to yell SHUT UP! He rudely disses and dismisses her, saying he's got BIGGER things to worry about tonight! If she got a problem with XPW Remixed then handle it herself, bitch! Sunny is aghast and storms out of the locker room... Gaspard just shakes his head and mutters under his breath about "trifling bitches"...
** CUT **
”A Shooters Revenge”
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
“The Cali Crippler” Ad Santel jumps Mildred Burke from behind backstage! He roughs her up a little but stops just short of full-on assault… instead, he leaves that part up to Tamina – who assists him in the beat down… Tamina locks in a vicious stretch hold on the cold tile floor, giving Ad Santel enough time to get in Burke’s face and growl a few ominous threats about “playing with the big dogs”… his message sent, Ad Santel & Tamina leave Mildred Burke writhing in pain on the floor… announcers make mention of Burke’s stunning (and surprising) triangle choke on Santel @ “Scene of the Crime” that had him tapping out in desperation…
** CUT TO RING **
SUNNY versus ANNIE SOCIAL
(Impromptu Challenge)
versus
Sunny enters… in ring with a mic… calls out Jun Kasai for his disgusting antics and threatens sexual harassment if she’s not compensated properly… but this instead draws the theme song of ANNIE SOCIAL! The street-wise hood chick from Killadelphia enters in tank top and cargo pants and gives Sunny hell on the mic… this is “haves vs have-nots”… Sunny doesn’t want any part of a fight but it’s too late! Annie Social takes her down and we’ve got a CATFIGHT! Annie Social spanks Sunny’s ass (literally) and hits a flying a bulldog to force her from the ring… Annie Social takes in the cheers, when suddenly – house lights darken dramatically and an ominous theme song begins…
AWESOME KONG
Results are rudimentary – Social doesn’t stand a chance and gets ping-ponged by the much larger Kong… Implant Buster to Annie Social! Another Implant Buster for Sunny! (who Kong dragged back into the ring by her hair)… here comes former XPW Woman’s champion ALEXXIS NEVAEH for the save! She tries to fight off Kong to no avail! Kong swallows the smaller Neveah before grounding HER with an awesome Implant Buster! BAM! Awesome Kong has done it again! But this time, as she taunts and poses in the ring, current champion WENDI RICHTER shows up on the entrance ramp! She stares Kong down from across the aisle, and holds up her XPW Championship! Kong just eyes her hungrily… is that a twinkle of fear in Richter’s eye??
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE OUTRO **
A panting, smiling (half-naked) Jun Kasai is watching the previous segment on a backstage monitor... he is cheerfully stuffing his face with a banana, when none other than former mentor (turned bitter blood rival) Atsushi Onita approaches him from the darkness! Onita startles Kasai, before ominously whispering "You have disgraced Japan... you must be reprogrammed"... Suddenly - two masked men lurch from the shadows and grab Kasai up! They put a bag over his head, tie him up and drag him from the arena! They slam him in the back of a van and disappear with Onita smiling cruelly as he watches them speed away! Jun Kasai is tied up in the back of that van!
** FADE OUT **
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SABU & DANNY HAVOC vs USO's (w/ Ad Santel)
(Tornado Tag Team Match)
versus
w/
Always dangerous Ad Santel has a newfound-level of crowd heat now with his latest woman-beating actions… he enters first for commentary alongside Solie & Striker… Uso’s get their big siva-tau entrance, but these two are far from savages – they are street-saavy, Hip Hop influenced Cali swag boyz who carry that personality with them in between the ropes… their opponent tonight is the exact OPPOSITE – from the hardcore capital of Cylinder Iowa (snicker) comes the whiter-than-white bread-wonder DANNY HAVOC! Wearing a flannel shirt, assortment of visible (trashy) tattoos and carrying a bundle of fluorescent light tubes slung over his shoulder Danny Havoc is a white trash hero to the uncultured masses… he’s a hardcore answer to the Uso bros, but their expert tag team chemistry quickly disarms him (after sending him crashing through his OWN bundle of light tubes)… but before they can finish him off – we get an insane crowd run-in from SABU! He’s just been completely off-the-wall, out of control lately and his latest actions portray a Wildman unhinged… The madman makes the run-in to take out the Uso’s! Ad Santel is aghast on commentary as Sabu’s carefree recklessness takes Jimmy Uso right out of the ring! Atomic Arabian facebuster with a steel chair to Jey Uso in the ring! Sabu then propels himself OFF a steel chair OVER the top rope towards Jimmy Uso! But Ad Santel pulls Jimmy out of the way JUST in time to have Sabu CRASH through a nearby ringside table! Danny Havoc tries to fight back but once again the Uso’s double-team him into oblivion… stereo top rope splashes from the Uso’s get the pinfall.
Winners: USO BROS
Post match Ad Santel raises his tag team’s arm in victory before leaving the ring quickly (as Sabu is stirring from the table wreckage)… this leaves Danny Havoc and Sabu to come together in the ring, where Sabu viciously attacks his own tag team partner! Sabu destroys Havoc and finishes with his somersault legdrop (steel-chair assisted) off the top rope to Havoc’s FACE! Sabu proves he is in indeed homicidal and will take on anybody!
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt in his office reviewing paperwork when “Real Deal” Damien Steele (current Commissioner) rushes in – he is OUTRAGED over Paul Bowser’s decision to put the Commissioner office on the line @ “BiB2” (see XPW TV Episode #44)… B&B&B partner Carl Beane is on his way to the arena RIGHT NOW with the contracted agreement! Mondt lets Steele vent before revealing there are many others who feel the same sense of outrage against B&B&B Enterprises… for some reason, Ed Lewis (“that old fool”) is blinded by their offer, but Mister Mondt does NOT like their direction… Mondt is actively looking for ways to make B&B&B Enterprises DROP their offer! He insinuates to Steele that bad things happen when you cross Mister Mondt (referencing Beane’s snub & tag team diss on XPW TV Episode #44)… Steele takes his word and leaves, meanwhile Mondt gets on his Bluetooth and starts sending a text…
** CUT TO RING **
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** Kingdom Crumble **
Phil “Gunner” Shatter takes the ring with a microphone… he’s in stylish street clothes and is greeted by a loud chorus of boos… video recap of his betrayal, beat down, and concrete-floor spike DDT of former tag team partner Austin Idol… but Shatter shows no remorse for his actions, and explains his motivations further…
On his origins…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: Going through the Marine Corps boot camp was a big confidence-builder for me… You get screamed at, broken down and turned into a Marine over 13 weeks. This showed me that if you set your mind to something, you can do it.
His dedication to the cause…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: “It was something I’d wanted to do since I was 5 years old. I also knew I had to give everything to this. There are times I’ve missed reunions and birthday parties. I’ve had to sacrifice, but my family understood.
His decision to betray Austin Idol and drop his “dead weight”…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: “I think I showed them by driving down that this is what I wanted to do for a living… I’m not complaining. I’m just happy I got the opportunity (sick grin as he reviews his destruction of Idol)
Because going solo is better than being part of the greatest tag team in fantasy wrestling history…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: The psychology part of pro wrestling is huge… You’ve got to put together a match that tells a story in the ring and keeps the fans wanting to see it. From being around guys like A.J. (Styles), Ken and Hulk Hogan, I can already see a big difference. These guys have shared knowledge that I couldn’t get in six or seven months with the independent (companies), Austin Idol & that dumb tramp Jessica Darlin!
This draws the theme song of Jessica Darlin! Valet to the former (Real) Kings of Wrestling, she comes down to the ring very sad and angry… she attempts to plead with Gunner not to break up the dream team… but he just laughs – pie faces her right on her ASS in the ring – SPITS on her (again!) and curses her out! He leaves her weeping on the ring mat as he proudly strides up the entrance ramp (smirk on his face) and raises his arms to the crowd boos.
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: The hard work is paying off… I’m living my dream!!
** CUT **
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"The Champ IZ HERE"
** VIDEO VIGNETTE **
XPW Remixed (counterfeit) champion Shane Douglas is with his belt and Lizzy Borden out on the streets of BOSTON running a series of bitter (yet utterly hilarious) sketches against John Cena – scenes in which Douglas & Borden are purportedly “looking” for John on the “mean streets” of Boston but keep winding up in a series of decidedly “un-hardcore” locales… John Cena is never found, and Douglas builds a case about the “face of mainstream wrestling” DUCKING the one true champion; Shane Douglas…
SHANE DOUGLAS: "'The Franchise' is that guy that never had an off switch. Whatever pops into his head, he says. Whatever he wants to do, he does. Some people would call that psychotic with a guy that can go out and murder someone and explain why it was the right thing to do. To me, that character had very compelling possibilities for television. The first guy that ever came out and used the f-bomb on television. It just oozed through that this guy was -- in his mind -- the most important thing walking on the planet. When that character stepped on camera and had this beautiful valet with him (flaunts Lizzy Borden beside him), and you see him throwing guys down with broken necks and throwing the NWA title down -- there was nothing he wouldn't do. That's compelling to watch. It's a train wreck. You're waiting to see what he's going to do next....
** CUT **
** BLACK ARMY REDUX **
Phone interview with Jack Pfefer is who absolutely giddy to be back… it’s clear he holds all kinds of grudges and is looking to thoroughly exact his revenge… this started the DAY he was let back in the door (see XPW TV Episode #44)… just who exactly was that mystery man who laid waste to TGW & Ken Patera in the locker room??.. why, none other than Jack Pfefer-hired gun, the mysterious SNUFF! This man-monster comes straight from the bowels of fantasy wrestling HELL and is the start of a new era in XPW Remixed… an era spear-headed by Pfefer and his new mystery investment firm… all will be revealed on the next XPW TV Episode, as Pfefer reveals his buyer and runs television bookings for the day… just let it be known this will be the BIGGEST RETURN IN WRESTLING HISTORY… and at “Baptized in Blood 2” the new Black Army will beat B&B&B Enterprises in the 5-on-5 elimination tag match and earn their part of XPW Remixed history!! SNUFF is the first member of the team!
** CUT TO RING **
TOMMASO CIAMPA versus DRAKE YOUNGER versus SHAD GASPARD
versus versus
Quality triple-threat match with all 3 men putting on their work boots for the night… Tommaso Ciampa continues to amaze with his Olympia-bred pedigree and futuristic, power-based offense… Younger is the scrappy underdog, overcoming a busted forehead to engage in an inspiring slug fest… and big Shad G is the arrogant, big bully prick – hammering both his opponents and acting cocky all the while… plus his earlier mistreatment of Sunny gives him an added level of crowd heat… In the end, Ciampa counters a Gaspard running boot to land a backstabber-like double knee to Gaspard’s back – but Drake Younger comes off the top rope onto the back of Ciampa’s head – rolling him off Gaspard’s prone body where Drake Younger instead picks up the pinfall! Drake Younger gets a gritty victory (and drives Gaspard off by threatening him with a Kendo stick when he gets too close), and Tommaso Ciampa once again stews over his disheartening loss… Drake Younger celebrates with his Kendo stick to end the match.
Winner: DRAKE YOUNGER
SUDDENLY! We have commotion! An outside “invasion” by a group of hoodlums! They rush through the crowd carrying weaponry and wearing the same gang colors. This is N.W.O 1997 / WWECW 2001 / Nexus 2010-type stuff right here! It’s none other than JOHN ZANDIG w/ MESSIAH, SAMI CALLIHAN & MADMAN PONDO! The “CZWO”! (“CZW Originals”) The rush the set like a pack of Mongolian marauders, and while Drake Younger attempts to stand valiantly against him with his Kendo stick – ultimately he is eaten alive by the invaders… they torture, massacre and mutilate Younger in the name of “Death Match wrestling”… even Younger’s training partner DAN SEVERN attempts a run-in but is kept at bay with Kendo stick and steel chair shots! They leave Severn laying outside the ring – and put Drake Younger through a pane of BURNING glass inside the ring! CZWO make their statement! They are taking OVER XPW Remixed and bringing the “ToD” trophy BACK to the East Coast @ “BiB2”! “Sick” Nick Mondo beware – the next casualty will be YOU!
CZWO is taking ovvvvaaaa!!!
** CUT **
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** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
B&B&B Associate Logan Boggs is backstage on his cellphone, awaiting the arrival of his business partner… when he is interrupted by Heath Slater & Honky Tonk Man… their obnoxious, egocentric behavior clearly rubs Boggs the wrong way – and he DOESN’T want to play ball with them… instead of putting them on Team B&B&B at the PPV (like they want) he instead books a match tonight between Slater and the SECOND man on Team B&B&B… who is it? Tune it next to find out! Slater & HTM are IRATE over the snub, but Boggs just smiles and walks away with a pimp strut!
** CUT TO RING *
HUMAN TORNADO versus HEATH SLATER (w/ Honky Tonk Man)
versus w/
Oh my! The mystery opponent (and second member of Team B&B&B @ “BiB2”) is none other than HUMAN TORNADO! The feud between Tornado and Slater continues with this exciting, entertaining match… Tornado continues to ride his wave of popularity and he outmaneuvers and out finesses the “One Man Southern Rock Band” and his manager… comedy misdirection – Slater takes an exploding guitar shot to the head courtesy of an errant HTM shot – and Tornado takes Honky AND Slater out to earn the pinfall! Logan Boggs joins Human Tornado in the ring post match to welcome him to the PPV team and dance the night away! Meanwhile Slater & HTM sulk away to lick their wounds…
Winner: HUMAN TORNADO
** CUT **
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** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
XPW officials are backstage still reviewing the referee KO's and anarchy that befell the end of XPW TV Episode #44... normally XPW thrives on this kind of chaos, but now their classification as a "WORLD" title power has changed the rules... Toots Mondt reminds President Lewis (and us, the viewer) that current XPW World champion Lou Thesz doesn't take kindly to any slights or even the illusion of impropriety - and the chance of a world title walkout are very real (and frightening)... Ed Lewis says we have a potential money match in the making between Thesz & Sheamus that can NOT be allowed to go the way of a typical NBA Game (and be botched by bad officials and blown calls)... President Ed "Strangler" Lewis says now might be the time to call in that "perfect favor" of his...
** CUT **
** XPW World champion LOU THESZ speaks **
XPW Remixed WORLD champion Lou Thesz speaks with reporters about his newly-signed championship match with Sheamus @ "BiB2"... is Sheamus getting the "LeBron James"-push from XPW Remixed promoters and does he really deserve a title shot?
LOU THESZ: If I understand the question, there are parallels in many athletes who have great ability, but they have not the temperament to apply that skill in a constructive venue. This applies not only to wrestling, but to all walks of life. If you have a great product, you must have the ability to market it. As I get older it becomes clearer to me the importance of who helped me create my product - and who taught me the art of marketing my product. Credit goes to hundreds of people who gave me a boost along the way. I tried to do the same for others.
Truth to the rumors of a previous Sheamus vs Lou Thesz match?
LOU THESZ: But I never wrestled Sheamus at all. I was scheduled to wrestle him in Seattle, but he did not show. I was 28 years old and ready for the competition.
Was that another act of "defiance" on behalf of Sheamus, who has built a reputation as being hot-headed and hard for managment to handle?
LOU THESZ: I don't think it is a matter of defying the promoter. If the personality is not there to project, it cannot be done. If the heart is not in the performance, the wrestler has to find another way to succeed in life. At "Baptized in Blood 2" I will take the heart from Sheamus' chest. Unlike myself, Sheamus doesn't thrill to the knowledge the audience is involved. He just love the hope of a good payday. In short they miss the entire picture.
What about the rumors you're unhappy about Toots Mondt trying to control your booking, and concerns about crooked referees and biased judges?
LOU THESZ: In many cases the promoter is the problem, as he doesn't know how to market a great piece of talent. I was fortunate in having the best mentors in all aspects of professional wrestling - and it was my life. And I'll be damned if I let anybody take my life away. I will beat Sheamus at "BiB2"...
** CUT **
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** BREAKING NEWS **
(Tragedy befalls B&B&B Enterprise)
Carl Beane, known to baseball fans as "the voice of Fenway Park," died in a single-vehicle crash after suffering a heart attack in Sturbridge, Massachusetts, according to a statement from the Boston Red Sox (and XPW Remixed).
Beane, 59 and a Massachusetts native, began his sports broadcasting career in 1972 at WMAS radio station in Springfield. He became the famed Fenway public address announcer in 2003 after winning a competition, the statement said. On his website, Beane touted the fact that he announced the first two games of the 2004 World Series and witnessed the Red Sox claim the championship of Major League Baseball for the first time in 86 years. Baseball fans also hear his voice as the lead-in of "The Baseball Experience," a multimedia presentation at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York, according to Beane's website.
Beane was driving his 2004 Suzuki when he suffered a heart attack, causing him to lose control of the car, according to XPW Remixed VP Joseph "Toots" Mondt" in a statement. His vehicle then collided with a tree and a wall, authorities said. No one else was in the car and no other cars were involved in the accident. Beane was transported from the scene and pronounced dead at Harrington Hospital in Southbridge shortly after the crash, according to authorities.
** RIP TRIBUTE **
** MOMENT OF SILENCE **
** FADE OUT **
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XPW Remixed
presents…
BAPTIZED IN BLOOD 2
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz (1952) © versus Sheamus (2012)
"Real Deal" Damien Steele vs William Muldoon
(XPW Commissioner office on the line)
** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos © (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Motor City Machine Guns
** Tournament of DEATH **
Feat: "Sick" Nick Mondo, Messiah, John Zandig, Sami Callihan and MORE!
Team B&B&B (feat. Mil Mascaras & Human Tornado)
versus
Pfefer's Army (feat. SNUFF)
(Control of XPW Remixed)
_____________________________________________________________
CREDITS:
PHIL "GUNNER" SHATTER: ScrippsNews.Com (September 2011)
CARL BEANE WRITE-UP: CNN.com
SHANE DOUGLAS: "Beneath the Mat" Interview (2012)
LOU THESZ: Wrestlingclassics.com messageboard
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(New #1 Contender crowned after XPW TV Episode #44 went off the air!)
XPW president Ed Lewis opens up dark match segment – praises B&B&B’s involvement tonight – hypes Pfefer’s new management group next week – and makes his final proclamation for the night… #1 contenders battle royal! Right now!
** BATTLE ROYAL **
Lou Thesz on commentary… Announcement sparks a firestorm of action – Immediately in the ring Jon Moxley blindsides Sheamus and takes over… he’s quickly joined by Jinder Mahal & Hakushi, who double-team Sheamus (while Lou Thesz is led from the ring by security & referees)… just then Buddy Rogers appears on the entrance ramp with Matt Morgan – the Blueprint shrugs off his entrance cape and bolts to the ring – he’s quickly followed by David Otunga (who shakes Ed Lewis hand graciously on the stage before bolting into action)… everybody is beating up on Sheamus, about to toss him from the ring – when a bloody CENA finally interjects! House-clearing brawl from Cena, who is driven into a frenzy! Suddenly he’s joined side-by-side with French Angel! And Human Tornado!
Jon Moxley is eliminated! Jinder Mahal is eliminated! Hakushi Kuro is eliminated! Just then… Douglas sneaks up on Cena from the rear again! John Cena is eliminated (at the hands of Shane Douglas)! Matt Morgan kicks the head off of Human Tornado, eliminating him! But French Angel tosses the Blueprint! Rogers is furious as Sammi Lane claps for her man! We have our Final 4!
Shane Douglas… Sheamus… David Otunga… French Angel…
But just as quickly, Shane Douglas eliminates the Angel (to great boos)… Shane comes to a quick, heelish agreement with Focus magnate David Otunga to double-team Sheamus into oblivion… and it works too, until Cena – in a last bit of blood-stained fury – reenters the ring, clobbers Otunga, and hits an FUAA to Shane Douglas in the center of the ring! “U Can’t See Me!” hand gesture for Shane on Cena’s way out makes a very big statement! Sheamus recuperates and BROGUE KICKS Shane Douglas out of the ring! Brief exchange with Otunga – counter – and hiiiiiiiigh back body drop! Otunga’s body sails over the top rope to the arena floor! Sheamus has done it! He’s the new #1 Contender! Sheamus and Lou Thesz have the big in-ring stare down to end the segment – but no handshake of mutual respect here! They’re jawing furiously, bumping chest to chest and referees and security are forced to intervene! They’re still in each other’s faces as the crowd chants “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!” Meanwhile, Ed Lewis smirks and winks into the camera as we fade out…
Winner (and #1 Contender): SHEAMUS 2012
** CUT TO ONLINE INTRO **
Cut to the in-studio hosts for the show:
SAMMI LANE & FRENCH ANGEL
Effervescent and bubbly intro by Sammi Lane… Big ups to Sheamus (2012), the new #1 contender... she and her boy French Angel Maurice Tillet appreciate the good look in appearing in a #1 Contenders Battle Royal – but while they may have fallen short that, they will not rest until gold is strapped around their waist! Angel would make a beautiful TV champion, an inspiring Boston champion and a tremendous XPW WORLD champion! But one belt Sammi Lane wants NOOOOO part of right now is the XPW Woman’s title… champion Wendi Richter has managed to infuse the title with a new level of legitimacy – but faces perhaps her gravest challenge just on the horizon… keep tuned for more on that. PLUS! The future of XPW Remixed will be decided @ “BiB2” when the 3rd stake in GDT Inc (parent company of XPW Remixed) is the grand prize in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series elimination match! The true spirit of fantasy wrestling continues to shine brightly in XPW Remixed – but who will be the one to shape it’s destiny? Is it a return to the scientific glory days of hard-nosed COMPETITION, as championed by B&B&B Enterprises?? Or will XPW Remixed finally cross the line of good tastes and boundaries for good, if Pfefer’s new “Black Army” is to win? And which way do XPW President Ed Lewis & VP Toots Mondt sway within this decision?? Tune in as teams for this very special attraction match continue to take shape TONIGHT!
** CUT **
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** Anatomy of a Fantasy Wrestling Deal **
Fantasy wrestling draws big time entertainment bucks… if you have a combination package that’s part Vaudeville/live theater/X-Games/Big Fight Night/circus/Rock Concert you can tap into multiple revenue streams at the same time… XPW Remixed is the biggest traveling live variety show in fantasy wrestling today… a true spectacle… exposure to the brand comes exclusively on XPW TV Channel 13 (a local Los Angeles affiliate)… parts of that broadcast and XPW Online are available worldwide on the internet for free… in a constant effort to expand business (particularly in the East, which seems to be a sticking point for Lewis & Mondt) GDT Inc took the XPW Remixed show on tour all along the East coast… it drew up incredible costs far beyond their initial investment scope… so they were forced to scale back, or “retreat” so to speak… they moved (and kept) operations out west – dropped multiple contracts – instituted a series of “Loser Leaves XPW Remixed” matches in their Spring Cleaning initiative… and ousted their 3rd partner in their original arrangement (The Grand Wizard)… now they sit on the hottest property in the Territory Wars, and are constantly looking to expand – hence their search for a 3rd partner…
Package deals are part of corporate SOP… that’s why it wasn’t Eric Bischoff attempting to buy WCW, it was Fusient Media… in XPW Remixed canon, “B&B&B Enterprises” represents that kind of union… a collection of individual superpowers who collectively pooled their resources to offer a can’t beat prospect for GDT Inc… from Triple B - Boston area promoter Paul Bowser offers a valuable cache of East coast connects, including arenas, buildings, TV channels and North East superstars… Logan Boggs offers much of the same, plus Territory Wars longevity… Boston Red Sox voice Carl Beane brings legitimacy, big-league seasoning and a championship aura… all told, they’ve put together a winning bid that immediately got the attention of XPW President Ed “Strangler” Lewis – who invited them into the fold… but his business partner Joseph “Toots” Mondt didn’t agree with that decision…
For reasons best left undisclosed at this time, Toots Mondt does not see eye-to-eye with Triple B’s business philosophy and desperately looked for another competitive bidder… he seems to have found one at the last moment (by dredging the sludgy grime of Fantasy Wrestling’s underbelly for the scuzziest piece of pond scum promoter in history) in JACK PFEFER… for contemporary wrestling fans, imagine a sassy fast-mouthed lawyer-boy in the vein of Paul Heyman, with a very unscrupulous set of business morals… Just like Heyman offered up inner-Industry newsbytes for positive coverage in the Internet dirt sheets – in his day, Pfefer ratted out inner-sanctum secrets to newspaper writers and journalists in an effort to scar the very industry that had blackballed him… best believe the resentment Jack Pfefer felt at being ousted in XPW Remixed has festered within his black soul… now he’s BACK – skirting the letter of the law that got him banned, spearheading a new acquisition company, and promising the GREATEST. RETURN. IN. WRESTLING. HISTORY. America loves an underdog story, and Jack Pfefer is selling the shit out of it… Who is this investor? What part of wrestling history does he hold? And where do the funds from this titanic investment come from? All to be revealed on the next Episode of XPW TV…
** CUT **
** Team B&B&B begins… **
Legendary Boston-area promoter Paul Bowser meets up with Mil Mascaras backstage… they greet and exchange pleasantries… Bowser has recently assigned Olympia head coach (and Mascaras training partner) William Muldoon to a match for the XPW Commissionership at “BiB2”… and would like to offer Mil Mascaras a spot on Team B&B&B at the same PPV! This way - B&B&B Enterprises will beat Pfefer's camp @ the PPV and earn a company stake in XPW Remixed! Mil Mascaras is honored by the invitation and graciously accepts… the masked Mexican superstar whole-heartedly endorses B&B&B Enterprises brand of sportsmanship and competition! Mil Mascaras fights for B&B&B Enterprises at “BiB2”!
** CUT **
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”A Great Punjabi”
Jinder Mahal has stormed backstage after his Battle royal loss, and is caught on camera having a conniption… he blames politics and crooked promoters, and even throttles a harmless TV intern who just happened to be standing nearby… really mean and bullying, Mahal is outraged because he’s so privileged he can’t fathom loss… he’s smacking around this little intern – when suddenly, a great bellow echoes through the corridors – “MAHAL!!” Cameras swing to the far end of the corridor, where we see GREAT GAMA returning to action! With great anger he seeks vengeance upon the one who betrayed him! Gama begins chasing after a clearly spooked Mahal – who quickly slams a corridor door on the charging Gama and flees! But the legendary strongman cannot be denied! Great Gama BURTS through the door like a cannonball shot, and continues his pursuit of Mahal! Jinder flees the building in terror, as Gama knocks over backstage personnel, cameras and tears up video wires in his madd pursuit! Cut to static!!!
** CUT **
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FABULOUS KANGAROOS (w/ Wild Red Berry)
versus
HAVANA PITBULLS
w/
versus
Very sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek “pro-Americana” propaganda video by The Fabulous Kangaroos to start the segment… they put themselves over as bastions of American ideals and athletics – even with their blatant Australian accents and Aussie-themed gear & antics… Part Beverly Bros (1993) / Rougeau Bros (1989) / Dudley Boyz (1998) – the video segues to their grand in-arena procession… complete with anonymous flag-bearer, Australian & American flags, XPW Tag Team championship belts, and manager Wild Red Berry… Berry has the mic for a brief in-ring promo where he cuts down B&B&B Enterprises – puts over his tag champions – and disparages the MCMG (who are getting a title shot @ “BiB2” – see XPW TV Episode #44)… the FabKangs are fighting champions! Cue theme song and entrance of the Havana Pitbulls, who get a big pop upon their appearance… competitive squash match with the FabKangs ultimately feasting on the smaller Pitbulls and finishing Rocky Romero with a modified version of the 3D for the pin… postmatch, cameras catch a glimpse of Ricky Reyes trying to console his tag team partner Rocky Romero, only to be coldly rebuffed and ignored by Rocky who storms backstage… Fabkangs & Berry pose with the belts… but the Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) turn up on the giant video screen to offer a closing series of taunts to the FabKangs… dripping with sarcasm and new-school wit, the MCMG slay FabKangs on the mic – big up Detroit (and it’s “true American ideals”) – and promise championship glory @ “BiB2”!! FabKangs and Berry are irate! Even their dominant victory tonight was overshadowed by these loud-mouth, wise-ass whippersnappers! Outrage!!
Winner: FABULOUS KANGAROOS
** CUT **
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”White Boyz”
versus
Silly little skit in which big bad scary gangsta JTG completely emasculates PG-13 in front of a crowd of onlookers and backstage personnel... really humiliating, as JTG holds nothing back and attacks everything from their hick Nashville upbringing, to their mammas... JTG brags about how he's gonna beat those punk-ass whiteboy wannabe poseurs and flinches like he's gonna strike them -the recoil, but in a flash JC Ice Baby hits JTG in the back of the head from behind! JTG goes down and PG-13 look at each for a second with an "OH SNAP! What did we just do!?!?" look... but instead of fleeing, they EMBRACE IT! PG-13 orchestrates a double-team beat down on JTG! They double team their former mentor and toss him about the backstage area, before finishing with a corny “YO MAMMA” crack as they leave him lying! Cameras happen to catch the tail end of the exchange, and PG-13 get a few moments to cut a promo…
** CUT **
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** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
Sunny is in the locker room complaining to Shad Gaspard about Jun kasai's sickening advances... as she prattles on and on growing more and more frustrated with every word, she finally annoys Gaspard (who is trying to gear up) enough for him to yell SHUT UP! He rudely disses and dismisses her, saying he's got BIGGER things to worry about tonight! If she got a problem with XPW Remixed then handle it herself, bitch! Sunny is aghast and storms out of the locker room... Gaspard just shakes his head and mutters under his breath about "trifling bitches"...
** CUT **
”A Shooters Revenge”
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
“The Cali Crippler” Ad Santel jumps Mildred Burke from behind backstage! He roughs her up a little but stops just short of full-on assault… instead, he leaves that part up to Tamina – who assists him in the beat down… Tamina locks in a vicious stretch hold on the cold tile floor, giving Ad Santel enough time to get in Burke’s face and growl a few ominous threats about “playing with the big dogs”… his message sent, Ad Santel & Tamina leave Mildred Burke writhing in pain on the floor… announcers make mention of Burke’s stunning (and surprising) triangle choke on Santel @ “Scene of the Crime” that had him tapping out in desperation…
** CUT TO RING **
SUNNY versus ANNIE SOCIAL
(Impromptu Challenge)
versus
Sunny enters… in ring with a mic… calls out Jun Kasai for his disgusting antics and threatens sexual harassment if she’s not compensated properly… but this instead draws the theme song of ANNIE SOCIAL! The street-wise hood chick from Killadelphia enters in tank top and cargo pants and gives Sunny hell on the mic… this is “haves vs have-nots”… Sunny doesn’t want any part of a fight but it’s too late! Annie Social takes her down and we’ve got a CATFIGHT! Annie Social spanks Sunny’s ass (literally) and hits a flying a bulldog to force her from the ring… Annie Social takes in the cheers, when suddenly – house lights darken dramatically and an ominous theme song begins…
AWESOME KONG
Results are rudimentary – Social doesn’t stand a chance and gets ping-ponged by the much larger Kong… Implant Buster to Annie Social! Another Implant Buster for Sunny! (who Kong dragged back into the ring by her hair)… here comes former XPW Woman’s champion ALEXXIS NEVAEH for the save! She tries to fight off Kong to no avail! Kong swallows the smaller Neveah before grounding HER with an awesome Implant Buster! BAM! Awesome Kong has done it again! But this time, as she taunts and poses in the ring, current champion WENDI RICHTER shows up on the entrance ramp! She stares Kong down from across the aisle, and holds up her XPW Championship! Kong just eyes her hungrily… is that a twinkle of fear in Richter’s eye??
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE OUTRO **
A panting, smiling (half-naked) Jun Kasai is watching the previous segment on a backstage monitor... he is cheerfully stuffing his face with a banana, when none other than former mentor (turned bitter blood rival) Atsushi Onita approaches him from the darkness! Onita startles Kasai, before ominously whispering "You have disgraced Japan... you must be reprogrammed"... Suddenly - two masked men lurch from the shadows and grab Kasai up! They put a bag over his head, tie him up and drag him from the arena! They slam him in the back of a van and disappear with Onita smiling cruelly as he watches them speed away! Jun Kasai is tied up in the back of that van!
** FADE OUT **
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SABU & DANNY HAVOC vs USO's (w/ Ad Santel)
(Tornado Tag Team Match)
versus
w/
Always dangerous Ad Santel has a newfound-level of crowd heat now with his latest woman-beating actions… he enters first for commentary alongside Solie & Striker… Uso’s get their big siva-tau entrance, but these two are far from savages – they are street-saavy, Hip Hop influenced Cali swag boyz who carry that personality with them in between the ropes… their opponent tonight is the exact OPPOSITE – from the hardcore capital of Cylinder Iowa (snicker) comes the whiter-than-white bread-wonder DANNY HAVOC! Wearing a flannel shirt, assortment of visible (trashy) tattoos and carrying a bundle of fluorescent light tubes slung over his shoulder Danny Havoc is a white trash hero to the uncultured masses… he’s a hardcore answer to the Uso bros, but their expert tag team chemistry quickly disarms him (after sending him crashing through his OWN bundle of light tubes)… but before they can finish him off – we get an insane crowd run-in from SABU! He’s just been completely off-the-wall, out of control lately and his latest actions portray a Wildman unhinged… The madman makes the run-in to take out the Uso’s! Ad Santel is aghast on commentary as Sabu’s carefree recklessness takes Jimmy Uso right out of the ring! Atomic Arabian facebuster with a steel chair to Jey Uso in the ring! Sabu then propels himself OFF a steel chair OVER the top rope towards Jimmy Uso! But Ad Santel pulls Jimmy out of the way JUST in time to have Sabu CRASH through a nearby ringside table! Danny Havoc tries to fight back but once again the Uso’s double-team him into oblivion… stereo top rope splashes from the Uso’s get the pinfall.
Winners: USO BROS
Post match Ad Santel raises his tag team’s arm in victory before leaving the ring quickly (as Sabu is stirring from the table wreckage)… this leaves Danny Havoc and Sabu to come together in the ring, where Sabu viciously attacks his own tag team partner! Sabu destroys Havoc and finishes with his somersault legdrop (steel-chair assisted) off the top rope to Havoc’s FACE! Sabu proves he is in indeed homicidal and will take on anybody!
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
XPW Remixed VP Joseph “Toots” Mondt in his office reviewing paperwork when “Real Deal” Damien Steele (current Commissioner) rushes in – he is OUTRAGED over Paul Bowser’s decision to put the Commissioner office on the line @ “BiB2” (see XPW TV Episode #44)… B&B&B partner Carl Beane is on his way to the arena RIGHT NOW with the contracted agreement! Mondt lets Steele vent before revealing there are many others who feel the same sense of outrage against B&B&B Enterprises… for some reason, Ed Lewis (“that old fool”) is blinded by their offer, but Mister Mondt does NOT like their direction… Mondt is actively looking for ways to make B&B&B Enterprises DROP their offer! He insinuates to Steele that bad things happen when you cross Mister Mondt (referencing Beane’s snub & tag team diss on XPW TV Episode #44)… Steele takes his word and leaves, meanwhile Mondt gets on his Bluetooth and starts sending a text…
** CUT TO RING **
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** Kingdom Crumble **
Phil “Gunner” Shatter takes the ring with a microphone… he’s in stylish street clothes and is greeted by a loud chorus of boos… video recap of his betrayal, beat down, and concrete-floor spike DDT of former tag team partner Austin Idol… but Shatter shows no remorse for his actions, and explains his motivations further…
On his origins…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: Going through the Marine Corps boot camp was a big confidence-builder for me… You get screamed at, broken down and turned into a Marine over 13 weeks. This showed me that if you set your mind to something, you can do it.
His dedication to the cause…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: “It was something I’d wanted to do since I was 5 years old. I also knew I had to give everything to this. There are times I’ve missed reunions and birthday parties. I’ve had to sacrifice, but my family understood.
His decision to betray Austin Idol and drop his “dead weight”…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: “I think I showed them by driving down that this is what I wanted to do for a living… I’m not complaining. I’m just happy I got the opportunity (sick grin as he reviews his destruction of Idol)
Because going solo is better than being part of the greatest tag team in fantasy wrestling history…
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: The psychology part of pro wrestling is huge… You’ve got to put together a match that tells a story in the ring and keeps the fans wanting to see it. From being around guys like A.J. (Styles), Ken and Hulk Hogan, I can already see a big difference. These guys have shared knowledge that I couldn’t get in six or seven months with the independent (companies), Austin Idol & that dumb tramp Jessica Darlin!
This draws the theme song of Jessica Darlin! Valet to the former (Real) Kings of Wrestling, she comes down to the ring very sad and angry… she attempts to plead with Gunner not to break up the dream team… but he just laughs – pie faces her right on her ASS in the ring – SPITS on her (again!) and curses her out! He leaves her weeping on the ring mat as he proudly strides up the entrance ramp (smirk on his face) and raises his arms to the crowd boos.
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER: The hard work is paying off… I’m living my dream!!
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________________
"The Champ IZ HERE"
** VIDEO VIGNETTE **
XPW Remixed (counterfeit) champion Shane Douglas is with his belt and Lizzy Borden out on the streets of BOSTON running a series of bitter (yet utterly hilarious) sketches against John Cena – scenes in which Douglas & Borden are purportedly “looking” for John on the “mean streets” of Boston but keep winding up in a series of decidedly “un-hardcore” locales… John Cena is never found, and Douglas builds a case about the “face of mainstream wrestling” DUCKING the one true champion; Shane Douglas…
SHANE DOUGLAS: "'The Franchise' is that guy that never had an off switch. Whatever pops into his head, he says. Whatever he wants to do, he does. Some people would call that psychotic with a guy that can go out and murder someone and explain why it was the right thing to do. To me, that character had very compelling possibilities for television. The first guy that ever came out and used the f-bomb on television. It just oozed through that this guy was -- in his mind -- the most important thing walking on the planet. When that character stepped on camera and had this beautiful valet with him (flaunts Lizzy Borden beside him), and you see him throwing guys down with broken necks and throwing the NWA title down -- there was nothing he wouldn't do. That's compelling to watch. It's a train wreck. You're waiting to see what he's going to do next....
** CUT **
** BLACK ARMY REDUX **
Phone interview with Jack Pfefer is who absolutely giddy to be back… it’s clear he holds all kinds of grudges and is looking to thoroughly exact his revenge… this started the DAY he was let back in the door (see XPW TV Episode #44)… just who exactly was that mystery man who laid waste to TGW & Ken Patera in the locker room??.. why, none other than Jack Pfefer-hired gun, the mysterious SNUFF! This man-monster comes straight from the bowels of fantasy wrestling HELL and is the start of a new era in XPW Remixed… an era spear-headed by Pfefer and his new mystery investment firm… all will be revealed on the next XPW TV Episode, as Pfefer reveals his buyer and runs television bookings for the day… just let it be known this will be the BIGGEST RETURN IN WRESTLING HISTORY… and at “Baptized in Blood 2” the new Black Army will beat B&B&B Enterprises in the 5-on-5 elimination tag match and earn their part of XPW Remixed history!! SNUFF is the first member of the team!
** CUT TO RING **
TOMMASO CIAMPA versus DRAKE YOUNGER versus SHAD GASPARD
versus versus
Quality triple-threat match with all 3 men putting on their work boots for the night… Tommaso Ciampa continues to amaze with his Olympia-bred pedigree and futuristic, power-based offense… Younger is the scrappy underdog, overcoming a busted forehead to engage in an inspiring slug fest… and big Shad G is the arrogant, big bully prick – hammering both his opponents and acting cocky all the while… plus his earlier mistreatment of Sunny gives him an added level of crowd heat… In the end, Ciampa counters a Gaspard running boot to land a backstabber-like double knee to Gaspard’s back – but Drake Younger comes off the top rope onto the back of Ciampa’s head – rolling him off Gaspard’s prone body where Drake Younger instead picks up the pinfall! Drake Younger gets a gritty victory (and drives Gaspard off by threatening him with a Kendo stick when he gets too close), and Tommaso Ciampa once again stews over his disheartening loss… Drake Younger celebrates with his Kendo stick to end the match.
Winner: DRAKE YOUNGER
SUDDENLY! We have commotion! An outside “invasion” by a group of hoodlums! They rush through the crowd carrying weaponry and wearing the same gang colors. This is N.W.O 1997 / WWECW 2001 / Nexus 2010-type stuff right here! It’s none other than JOHN ZANDIG w/ MESSIAH, SAMI CALLIHAN & MADMAN PONDO! The “CZWO”! (“CZW Originals”) The rush the set like a pack of Mongolian marauders, and while Drake Younger attempts to stand valiantly against him with his Kendo stick – ultimately he is eaten alive by the invaders… they torture, massacre and mutilate Younger in the name of “Death Match wrestling”… even Younger’s training partner DAN SEVERN attempts a run-in but is kept at bay with Kendo stick and steel chair shots! They leave Severn laying outside the ring – and put Drake Younger through a pane of BURNING glass inside the ring! CZWO make their statement! They are taking OVER XPW Remixed and bringing the “ToD” trophy BACK to the East Coast @ “BiB2”! “Sick” Nick Mondo beware – the next casualty will be YOU!
CZWO is taking ovvvvaaaa!!!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
B&B&B Associate Logan Boggs is backstage on his cellphone, awaiting the arrival of his business partner… when he is interrupted by Heath Slater & Honky Tonk Man… their obnoxious, egocentric behavior clearly rubs Boggs the wrong way – and he DOESN’T want to play ball with them… instead of putting them on Team B&B&B at the PPV (like they want) he instead books a match tonight between Slater and the SECOND man on Team B&B&B… who is it? Tune it next to find out! Slater & HTM are IRATE over the snub, but Boggs just smiles and walks away with a pimp strut!
** CUT TO RING *
HUMAN TORNADO versus HEATH SLATER (w/ Honky Tonk Man)
versus w/
Oh my! The mystery opponent (and second member of Team B&B&B @ “BiB2”) is none other than HUMAN TORNADO! The feud between Tornado and Slater continues with this exciting, entertaining match… Tornado continues to ride his wave of popularity and he outmaneuvers and out finesses the “One Man Southern Rock Band” and his manager… comedy misdirection – Slater takes an exploding guitar shot to the head courtesy of an errant HTM shot – and Tornado takes Honky AND Slater out to earn the pinfall! Logan Boggs joins Human Tornado in the ring post match to welcome him to the PPV team and dance the night away! Meanwhile Slater & HTM sulk away to lick their wounds…
Winner: HUMAN TORNADO
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
XPW officials are backstage still reviewing the referee KO's and anarchy that befell the end of XPW TV Episode #44... normally XPW thrives on this kind of chaos, but now their classification as a "WORLD" title power has changed the rules... Toots Mondt reminds President Lewis (and us, the viewer) that current XPW World champion Lou Thesz doesn't take kindly to any slights or even the illusion of impropriety - and the chance of a world title walkout are very real (and frightening)... Ed Lewis says we have a potential money match in the making between Thesz & Sheamus that can NOT be allowed to go the way of a typical NBA Game (and be botched by bad officials and blown calls)... President Ed "Strangler" Lewis says now might be the time to call in that "perfect favor" of his...
** CUT **
** XPW World champion LOU THESZ speaks **
XPW Remixed WORLD champion Lou Thesz speaks with reporters about his newly-signed championship match with Sheamus @ "BiB2"... is Sheamus getting the "LeBron James"-push from XPW Remixed promoters and does he really deserve a title shot?
LOU THESZ: If I understand the question, there are parallels in many athletes who have great ability, but they have not the temperament to apply that skill in a constructive venue. This applies not only to wrestling, but to all walks of life. If you have a great product, you must have the ability to market it. As I get older it becomes clearer to me the importance of who helped me create my product - and who taught me the art of marketing my product. Credit goes to hundreds of people who gave me a boost along the way. I tried to do the same for others.
Truth to the rumors of a previous Sheamus vs Lou Thesz match?
LOU THESZ: But I never wrestled Sheamus at all. I was scheduled to wrestle him in Seattle, but he did not show. I was 28 years old and ready for the competition.
Was that another act of "defiance" on behalf of Sheamus, who has built a reputation as being hot-headed and hard for managment to handle?
LOU THESZ: I don't think it is a matter of defying the promoter. If the personality is not there to project, it cannot be done. If the heart is not in the performance, the wrestler has to find another way to succeed in life. At "Baptized in Blood 2" I will take the heart from Sheamus' chest. Unlike myself, Sheamus doesn't thrill to the knowledge the audience is involved. He just love the hope of a good payday. In short they miss the entire picture.
What about the rumors you're unhappy about Toots Mondt trying to control your booking, and concerns about crooked referees and biased judges?
LOU THESZ: In many cases the promoter is the problem, as he doesn't know how to market a great piece of talent. I was fortunate in having the best mentors in all aspects of professional wrestling - and it was my life. And I'll be damned if I let anybody take my life away. I will beat Sheamus at "BiB2"...
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
** BREAKING NEWS **
(Tragedy befalls B&B&B Enterprise)
Carl Beane, known to baseball fans as "the voice of Fenway Park," died in a single-vehicle crash after suffering a heart attack in Sturbridge, Massachusetts, according to a statement from the Boston Red Sox (and XPW Remixed).
Beane, 59 and a Massachusetts native, began his sports broadcasting career in 1972 at WMAS radio station in Springfield. He became the famed Fenway public address announcer in 2003 after winning a competition, the statement said. On his website, Beane touted the fact that he announced the first two games of the 2004 World Series and witnessed the Red Sox claim the championship of Major League Baseball for the first time in 86 years. Baseball fans also hear his voice as the lead-in of "The Baseball Experience," a multimedia presentation at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York, according to Beane's website.
Beane was driving his 2004 Suzuki when he suffered a heart attack, causing him to lose control of the car, according to XPW Remixed VP Joseph "Toots" Mondt" in a statement. His vehicle then collided with a tree and a wall, authorities said. No one else was in the car and no other cars were involved in the accident. Beane was transported from the scene and pronounced dead at Harrington Hospital in Southbridge shortly after the crash, according to authorities.
** RIP TRIBUTE **
** MOMENT OF SILENCE **
** FADE OUT **
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BAPTIZED IN BLOOD 2
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz (1952) © versus Sheamus (2012)
"Real Deal" Damien Steele vs William Muldoon
(XPW Commissioner office on the line)
** XPW Tag Team titles **
Fabulous Kangaroos © (w/ Wild Red Berry) vs Motor City Machine Guns
** Tournament of DEATH **
Feat: "Sick" Nick Mondo, Messiah, John Zandig, Sami Callihan and MORE!
Team B&B&B (feat. Mil Mascaras & Human Tornado)
versus
Pfefer's Army (feat. SNUFF)
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CREDITS:
PHIL "GUNNER" SHATTER: ScrippsNews.Com (September 2011)
CARL BEANE WRITE-UP: CNN.com
SHANE DOUGLAS: "Beneath the Mat" Interview (2012)
LOU THESZ: Wrestlingclassics.com messageboard
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