Post by MadStepDad on Nov 17, 2011 20:54:05 GMT -5
** THIS IS A COMPANION PIECE TO XPW TV EPISODE #29 **
Cut to the in-studio host for the show:
SUNNY: There’s always a chance. Anything can happen in this crazy business. The night Triple Threat debuted in XPW Remixed? That was a really awesome night. They called me three weeks ahead of time and told me that they were thinking of having me on the show, but it wasn’t definite yet and they would let me know. Then about a week before, I got the phone call back and they said, “We definitely want you there. I was like, “Awesome.” I was so excited and all pumped up. I dieted my butt off. I worked out like a madwoman in the gym. Only to have this "Boston Phantom" ruin everything by costing Shane Douglas his "Sammartino Invitational" match. I’m in the car on the way to Bridgeport, Conn., and my boyfriend’s driving and we’re about 10 minutes away from the building, and I started physically shaking. He looked at me and he goes, “What is the matter? Are you nervous?” I said, “I’m so nervous. You have no idea.” You’ve been doing this for 18 years and this is your first XPW Television title shot. Don't blow it. You don’t understand. Hearing my music, walking down the ramp and doing my thing in the ring, that’s old hat for me. I can do that with my eyes closed. But what the "Boston Phantom" did was just plain WRONG. And we know who you are. Expect "The Franchise" Shane Douglas to out you on the next episode of XPW TV. Mark my words, the Triple Threat won't stop until every angle in XPW Remixed has been conquered. "Boston Phantom" you'll get yours next week - Messiah, your TV Title reign is over at "RAPTURE" - and Orville Brown, you better watch your back... Triple Threat is coming for you too!!!
** CUT TO RING **
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ROCKSTAR KAOS (w/ Missy Hyatt) versus HARDBODY HARRISON
versus
Match happens after a brief backstage vignette in which the now colorfully-attired pimptastic Hardbody Harrison (flanked by a bevy of curvaceous "wrestling" babes) tries soliciting Missy Hyatt into joining his stable. When the Rockstar KAOS humorously catches Hardbody Harrison giving the Rockstar's girlfriend the fast talk he immediately steps in and the match is made. Inspired by the backstage shenanigans, KAOS is on fire early and reminds the world why he was such a hot, undiscovered talent for XPW. Fast paced, energetic, exciting and colorful - KAOS puts Hardbody Harrison in his place and even Missy Hyatt briefly gets in on the action (slapping Harrison across the face when he tries another ringside approach). Top rope "Kaostrophe" (somersault neckbreaker) from Kaos ends Harrison's night for good.
Winner (by pinfall): ROCKSTAR KAOS
********************
SUNNY SAYZ:
"I’d heard from people who have been in that company since I was there that the locker room was completely changed. We were all friends when I was there. Missy, Lizzy, Darlin... it was kind of like a family on the road. And what I had heard was that the past few years there was just a bunch of back-stabbers [and] nobody likes each other in the locker room. So this goes for my "OLD" friend Missy, that skank Annie Social, or even the nitwit brat I took this show from Sammi Lane - I was actually very nervous about how the whole locker room scene was going to be, seeing people that I had history with – good and bad. It was nerve-wracking. But as soon as I walked in that back door everybody who saw me came right over, gave me hugs and kisses and was so happy to see me that every bit of nervousness exited my body immediately."
** CUT **
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** BREAKING NEWS **
Orville Brown removed from "Sammartino Invitational"!!!
Shortly after XPW TV Episode #29 went off the air, cameras caught a disturbance in the parking lot area. Eddie Gilbert was assaulting an XPW staff member, when Midwest Wrestling champion Orville Brown stepped in for the save. But instead of leaving peacefully, Eddie Gilbert jumped in his car, revved the engine and took off towards Orville Brown! The rest has to be seen to be believed!
"Jerry Lawler" = Orville Brown
Due to the injuries suffered in this violent attack, Orville Brown has been forced OUT of the "Sammartino Invitational"!!! Who will take his place in the brackets? Or is his opponent granted an automatic bye? Tune in to the next episode of XPW TV to find out!!!
** CUT **
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WEEDMAN versus OFFICER CABANA
versus
Weedman and his crowd-pleasing entrance first, before the cops roll up to break it down again. "Match" consists of Officer Cabana trying to arrest and detain the felonious Weedman. They go back-n-forth in a few tight little exchanges, giving the crowd just enough time to puff their Swisher Sweets and chant "F*** THE POLICE"!!!. Suddenly, Officer Cabana UNMASKS the Weedman! In a flash, the Weedman covers his face (identity still unknown) and FLEES up the entrance ramp for good! Officer Cabana is left in the ring to hold the mask aloft in a victorious pose, before hilariously packing the mask in a big plastic baggie marked "evidence". Officer Cabana has rained on everybody's weed-flavored parade tonight! BOOOOOO!!!!!
Winner (by countout): OFFICER CABANA
Officer Cabana - the strong arm of the LAW!!!
** CUT **
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NICK GAGE's LIFE, CAREER IN JEOPARDY
On the last episode of XPW TV, a stunt at the end of a Nick Gage match went dreadfully wrong. After beating Val Puccio and challenging Mondo Kleen, Nick FN Gage was jumped by Tony Rumble's "Whack Pack". They lined fluorescent light tubes along the ring ropes and threw Gage through them. But the glass severed two major arteries in Gage's arm, taking him OUT. The following video footage was taken shortly after the accident.
BEFOREWARNED
The footage is very graphic and VERY REAL. Nick Gage was airlifted to a major trauma center and FLATLINED due to loss of blood! Not only is his XPW Remixed career in jeopardy, he is also in danger of being dropped from the "Sammartino Invitational" like Orville Brown. But more importantly, Nick Gage almost lost his LIFE as the result of a vile, unnecessary and excessive attack by Tony Rumble and his crew!!!
** CUT **
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ONITA versus JUN KASAI
(Razor Board Death Match)
versus
To some wrestling fans, "Hardcore" began and ended in 1995. The great Japanese "Death Match" tournaments, and the famous antics of Stateside legends like Mick Foley & Terry Funk. But the world of wrestling really owes a debt of gratitude to Atsushi Onita for the art of Xtreme Ultraviolence. The Godfather of Japanese Death match wrestling was himself inspired by the bloody, unruly brawls of the old Memphis territories. Guys like former XPW Remixed wrestler Jackie Fargo have permanently etched their name upon the face of wrestling history. Onita took what he saw, ran with it, and simultaneously extended his career (while destroying his body) and launching a new niche genre of pro wrestling. Underground Xtreme Ultraviolence. In another Fantasy Wrestling "Dream Match" sponsored by XPW Remixed, the godfather of Xtreme meets his modern-day descendent in ultraviolence JUN KASAI. The muthaphuckkin "Crazy Monkey" is a sick, perverted example of Death Match wrestling. He is bringing ultraviolence into the future. Glass, razor-lined chairs, electrified light tubes, barbed wire - you name it and Jun Kasai has rolled in it. This is the kind of stuff Frank Gotch never could have foresaw. In XPW Remixed canon, Onita and Kasai clashed in the early chapters of our story - before coming together in a mentor/prodigal protege kind of relationship. Now, that dichotomy has dissolved and each man strives to become the sole face of Japanese Death Match wrestling in XPW Remixed. But when the past clashes with the present tonight, old school rules. Onita - now completely Americanized with his leather jacket, Kendo stick and smoking cigarette - powerbombs Kasai over the top rope through a contraption of burning glass, steel chairs and barbed wire for the climatic, fiery explosion! After pinning Kasai's smoldering corpse, Onita ties his former pupil up in the ropes so his scarred back is completely exposed and unprotected. Onita has a house mic in one hand and his Kendo stick in the other. In between stiff whacks from the Kendo stick upon Kasa's back, Onita professes to the crowd (in vicious heel fashion) his newfound mission to remind the world that hardcore started in the East! He started by taking out the ingrate Jun Kasai! He will finish by targeting SABU on behalf of The Commission! That's right, Onita is The Commission's newest HIRED GUN and his mission is to DESTROY Sabu!!! The bounty he will collect for Sabu's scalp will return Onita to Xtreme royalty!!! The challenge has been set! Sabu has become the prey and Atsushi Onita is the HUNTER!!!
Winner: ONITA
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"Best of 7" Series #6
MASAHIKO KIMURA versus AD SANTEL
("Judo Rules" Special Challenge)
versus
The hits just keep on coming. The understated brilliance of XPW Remixed is on full display, as yet another virtual "Dream Match" comes to fruition within this hallowed demiplane. This one is for the true-school MMA fans - full fight fans 60 years before the UFC was ever conceived. The greatest judoka in history, Masahiko Kimura - versus the self proclaimed "Judo Champion" of the world Ad Santel. Here we have Shooters Club representative Masahiko Kimura, the man responsible for breaking Helio Gracie's arm in perhaps the most famous "MMA" fight of all time versus Ad Santel - the catch-wrestling specialist who's brutal slams and bone-crunching technique has overcome several high-ranked judo specialists. His run of dominance over these judoka - combined with his fantasy pupil Adam Pearce's recent undefeated run through the wrestling ranks - has inspired Ad Santel to re-declare himself the World Judo Champion. This of course has drawn the ire of Kimura, who fights not only for his camp - but for his country and his fighting style. Ad Santel sees the coffin lid being closed on the Shooters Clubs hopes here in this "Best of 7" series, and wants to be the ONE who drives the final nail. So he has thrown out his special "Judo" challenge, knowing Kimura would be the one to answer. Tonight's match is unlike any other "pro wrestling" match you've ever seen. Striking is illegal, so at first strikes are kept to a minimum. The throws, leverage takedowns and tumbles pulled off by both men is downright astounding. The technique is crisp and the angles are precise. But neither man can claim a clear advantage. For whenever Kimura does begin to dominate, Santel subtly bends or breaks the rules to regain the momentum. In the end, it goes without a clear finish and the "Golden Rule" declared - sudden death. It is in the overtime period you see why this match was cut from XPW TV. In the finishing sequence, Kimura actually catches Ad Santel in a picture-perfect Kimura armlock (a move named after himself). Ad Santel - stubborn mule that he is - refuses to tap out, and Kimura literally SNAPS his forearm! Video replay literally shows the bone popping or hyper extending beneath Ad Santel's skin, and the referee quickly calls the stoppage!!!
Winner (by Technical Submission; armbar): MASAHIKO KIMURA
Cali Cripplers: 3 / Shooters Club: 3
** FADE OUT **
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XPW Remixed presents...
"RAPTURE"
** Switchblade Conspiracy versus (Real) Kings of Wrestling
(Jessica Darlin's "managerial" services on the line)
** Terry Funk versus The MIZ
(Streetfight Rules)
** "Sick" Nick Mondo versus Ian Rotten
("Last Rites" Death Match)
** "Best of 7" Series FINALE
B-Boy versus Lou Thesz
(Submission Match)
** XPW Remixed Tag Team Championship **
BLKOut © (w/ Annie Social) versus Generation ME
** Sammartino Invitational Finals **
** Vacant King of the Death Match Championship **
OG Sheik versus Sabu (??)
** New Jack & Pogo the Clown versus Swagger & Riley
(Jailhouse Match)
** XPW Remixed Championship **
(West Coast)
"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers © versus Ezekiel Jackson
Coming late November!!!
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CREDITS:
SUNNY: Ringposts Interview (2008)