Post by Leo on Feb 12, 2022 22:13:56 GMT -5
CCW Superstar Saturday: Episode 45
Commentators: Bob Caudle and Dutch Mantel
Ring Announcer: Mike McGuirk
Interviewer: SoCal Val
Referees: Tommy Young, Joey Marella and Aubrey Edwards
Caudle and Mantel start running down the show for the day when they’re interrupted by PWX. CM Punk, Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly enter the ring. Punk said he’s been on the phone doing some wheeling and dealing with Andy Kaufman. He’s a funny guy, weird, but funny. Vice President of Operations Robert Fuller and Associate Vice President of Talent Relations Ivory come out. They weren’t told anything by Andy Kaufman about him talking with Punk. He says their boss doesn’t have to tell them anything or get their approval for anything. So, shut up and learn what’s going down.
First, PWX has consented into letting the PWX Tag Team Title be converted into the CCW Gulf Coast Tag Team Titles. That goes real nice with Kurt Angle having the CCW Gulf Coast Title already. The Undisputed Era will defend those belts at KaufMania against Santana and Ortz.
Second, Punk has agreed to a unification match. His PWX X Division Title against Eddie Kingston’s CCW World Heavyweight Title. And since his X Division belt is on the line that means it has to be under X Division rules. That means ring out count of 20, disqualification only for intentional contact with the referee or outside interference and the ropes can’t break a submission or pinfall. Fuller asks if those are the real X Division rules. Well…Kaufman believed what he told him.
Kingston and Proud and Powerful come out. Punk must have read his mind, because that’s exactly what they want at KaufMania. Wait, it’s what you wanted…even those bullsh*t made up X Division Rules? Kingston says he’s been defying whatever rules the man have been laying down his entire life and so has Santana and Ortiz. PWX might be going into KaufMania with a lot of gold, but they’ll be coming out broken and battered.
COMMERCIAL
The Jive Soul Bros (“Soulman” Rocky Johnson, Odyssey Jones and Will Hobbs) with Dr. of Style, Slick defeated The Patriot, Junkyard Dog and “Mr. USA” Tony Atlas by pinfall of Johnson on Patriot at 12:40. Atlas goes for the running power slam on Hobbs, but Johnson pulls his foot from the apron so he slides off the back. Atlas turns around into a short range running clothesline. Tag to Johnson. He misses a rolling knee drop. Atlas tags Patriot and he steamrolls over Johnson with three running shoulder tackles. He goes up top for the Patriot Missile, but Jones and Hobbs run into the ring, bringing in JYD and Atlas. As everyone brawls, Slick jumps up and smacks Patriot with his cane. Things settle down and Johnson gets a top rope overhead belly to belly suplex for the win.
Crash and Bob Holly are getting ready for their match against Big Bossman and Yokozuna. Molly Holly comes in and breaks the awkward silence as she wants them to talk. Crash says there is nothing to say. Molly scolds him. Bob told him what to do and not to do in the battle royal on Wednesday Warfare and he does the wrong thing and gets eliminated first by Yokozuna. Now they have to face Kamp Kaufman this week. Crash says Bob probably thinks he can do better on his own. No, he doesn’t. This is going to take a real team effort to win. Crash has to do what Bob says now because of what happened on Wednesday Warfare. So, for once in his damn life, listen to his cousin and they just might win this tonight.
COMMERCIAL
Cherry Bomb defeated Serena Funk by pinfall at 4:24. Bomb is scared as she keeps looking over her shoulder for Nikki Cross. This allows Funk to jump her at the bell. Funk beats Bomb up to start. Serena goes for a spear, but Bomb dodges and she posts herself. Bomb with a single arm DDT for a two count. Cross runs out and gets on the apron. Bomb looks scared. Funk tries to attack from behind, but Cherry drops to the mat in the fetal position. She nails Cross off the apron and trips backwards over Bomb. Cherry, shocked, gets a small package for the win. She celebrates briefly, sees Cross coming around on the floor, and then runs off through the crowd.
Taya Valkyrie finds Carmella in the back and asks about the TikTok she posted. Taya calls it up on her phone. It’s a clip of Valkyrie spanking Layla El from Superstar Saturday, then it cuts to Carmella saying if she tried that on her, it would end with Taya getting her fat ass slapped, and that’s not fat with a ph. Valkyrie said she’d love to spank Carmella’s bony butt if she can find it. She challenges her to a match at KaufMania where the loser gets her bare butt spanked. Carmella agrees because that will be great exposure for her. It might not be the exposure you want though, Taya snaps back.
COMMERCIAL
Nicholas Nemeth and Mickie James-Aldis with Kamille York defeated “Mega Man” Tom Magee and Dr. Britt Baker, DMD by pinfall of Nemeth on Magee at 7:47. Baker goes for the Mick-DT, but Baker blocks and rams her back first into the near corner. Monkey flip out. Tag to Magee. Mickie jaws at Tom and pokes a finger in his chest. She then slaps him. Magee grabs her and puts her on his shoulder for the Mega Driver spinning power slam. However, York grabs Magee’s foot from the floor. Tom drops Mickie and goes to the floor. Mickie distracts the referee. As Magee stalks Kamille, Bagwell runs out, nails Magee with a high knee to the back and gets a gourdbuster on the floor. He rolls Tom back into the ring. Kamille yanks Baker off the apron. Nemeth comes in and nails the Zig Zag as Magee staggers up. Chris Jericho runs out with a chair post match to scare off the York Foundation.
SoCal Val is in the back with Big E Langston and asks about his feud with Braun Strowman. Langston says Strowman is a destructive force, but so is he. If this ever ends between the two of them it will probably be with one of them in the hospital and the other in the morgue. He goes to say more, but Strowman comes out of nowhere and they start fighting as we fade to break.
COMMERCIAL
The camera comes back up to find Braun Strowman and Big E Langston brawling in the back. Security and officials try to break them up. Some wrestlers try to get involved to break them up. Strowman hits a double clothesline on the Fantastics, then slams Jock Samsons into a brick wall. Langston pitches Bad News Brown into a Jolt Cola machine. He then wails on the Vaudevillains. Strowman catches Langston from behind and they fight off.
Bob Backlund lasted five minutes against Eli Drake with “Sensational” Sherri Martel to earn a CCW Television Title Shot at KaufMania. Drake is cocky to start, in no rush to beat Backlund. Drake misses a lazy clothesline and Backlund comes back off the ropes to clip the knee. He gets an Indian Deathlock. Since a pinfall does no good, Backlund is just trying to ground Drake and hold him down. Drake manages to make the ropes to break. Sherri yells at him to get in gear. Neckbreaker gets a two count. Running shoulder breaker for a two count. Bottom Rung gets two. He goes for the Gravy Train, but Backlund fights out and gets a backslide. Drake flips out. Backlund with a belly to belly suplex and he gets the Crossface Chicken Wing. Sherri is freaking out, Drake looks like he’s going to tap, but the bell rings for the time and Backlund celebrates getting his title shot.
We cut to the back where Strowman and Langston have brawled to a dock where an ambulance is parked. Strowman gets Langston up on his shoulder and slams him into the ambulance three times and then power slams him with some stank onto the concrete. Strowman gets on the other side and tries to push the ambulance over on Langston, but security and officials show up. Fuller tells Strowman to back down and he’ll book a stretcher match between them for KaufMania. Strowman nods his head to the affirmative and smiles.
COMMERCIAL
Kamp Kaufman (Yokozuna and Big Bossman) defeated the Holly Cousins (Crash and Bob) at 8:30 by pinfall of Yoko on Bob. Crash is surprised because Bob lets him start. Bossman beats him up for a few minutes. Crash dodges out of the way of a Bossman Straddle and Bossman gets hung up on the ropes. Crash brings him off with a neckbreaker to the knee. Springboard dropkick. Bob yells for the tag. Crash hesitates but gives it. Bob runs in and starts working over Bossman. Hollycaust, but Yoko breaks up the cover with a kick. Bob goes for the tag, but Crash acts like there’s something in his eye and he can’t see. Bob yells at him to make the tag, but Bossman clobbers Bob in the back. Bossman slam. Tag to Yoko for the Bonzai Drop. Crash wanders off with a smirk.
Pre-taped promo from “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan: “Ivan Koloff you challenged me and the 4.7 million Hulkamaniacs to a flag match at KaufMania against your neanderthal nephew Nikita, but you don’t want it capture the flag style, brother. You want the winner to have their anthem played and their flag raised high over the Orange Bowl. Well, jack, the Stars and Stripes will be flying proud while I wipe my butt in the middle of the ring with the hammer and sickle, brother. The Star Spangled Banner will ring out true and loud to drown out the crying of you and Nikita, brother. What you gonna do, Ruskies, when the largest arms in the United States run wild on you.”
COMMERCIAL
Molly catches up to Crash in the back and asks what the hell he was doing out there. Crash said just letting Bob know what it’s like to get your ass kicked, even when you think you have all the answers. Bob comes in and says once again Crash isn’t acting like a man. A real man lives up to his commitments. He’s supposed to do what Bob says. Okay, fine, what’s his orders now? His orders now is…Crash is going to wrestle Bob at KaufMania. You want to prove that you’re better than me, here’s your chance. Molly says they don’t need to do this. Bob says yes they do and he wants Molly to be the special guest referee. This is family business and only family can settle it.
CM Punk defeated Santana by pinfall at 13:38. Santana pounds on Punk, who keeps rolling to the floor to take a breather. Santana finally gets frustrated and goes out after him. Punk makes Santana chase him. Punk catches Santana as he comes back in. Punk with the Pepsi Plunge for two. Santana slips out of the Go To Sleep into an inverted DDT. That gets two. Diving leg drop misses. Punk with a running neck snap. Seated dropkick. Go To Sleep finishes.
COMMERCIAL
“Lionheart” Chris Jericho defeated Marcus Alexander Bagwell with Kamille York by count out at 14:38. The match is pretty even until York distracts the referee and Bagwell gets an eye gouge. Yellowjacket Suplex. Theatrical elbow drop for two. He goes up for the Buff Blockbuster, but Jericho pops up there and nails a superplex. Lionsault for one, two, thre…York pulls Jericho out by the foot. They stare down. Buff with a double ax handle from on high. Bagwell pitches Y2J into the ring steps. He gets yelled at by the referee. York attacks Jericho with the referee distracted. Magee runs out to back her off. Bagwell with a suicide dive to Magee, but he misses and wipes out on the ring wall. Jericho rolls back into the ring and takes the count out win.
In the back, Robert Fuller and Ivory are on a Zoom call with Andy Kaufman. They want to talk about the deal he made with PWX. Kaufman just wants to make sure his sky box for KaufMania will be filled with champagne and caviar. Does he want to talk about the card. It doesn’t matter. His name is on it and that will make people watch. He hangs up on them. Ivory and Fuller share a knowing glance. It’s unsaid, but one can get the drift that Ivory knows they need to get Andy out.
COMMERCIAL
Eddie Kingston defeated Kyle O’Reilly in a non-title bout at 14:11 by pinfall. O’Reilly jumps Kingston at the bell and controls early on. Kyle with a Pendulum Lariat for two. Ankle lock, but Eddie rolls through to break. O’Reilly ducks the Back Fist to the Future and gets a side suplex. He tries for a brainbuster, but Kingston blocks and turns it into a front suplex. Sliding D for two. Kyle elbows out of a uranage try. He hits a dropkick to the knee off the ropes. Spinning sitout facebuster. Double knee drop off the top rope misses. Blackout Lariat. Royal Flush spinning DDT for the victory.
CM Punk comes out to the entrance stage and stares at Kingston. Kingston holds up his belt. Punk holds up his and we fade.
All rights reserved. Andy Kaufman Enterprises. 1980-something.