AGPW Dynamite Saturday Night (August 23/14)

[Slade]

Dynamite Saturday Night
Saturday, August 23, 2014
From the Aitken Centre in Fredericton, New Brunswick

Tonight’s Announced Matches

Samoa Joe vs. Kazarian

Leo Burke vs. Taz vs. Bo Dallas vs. “Killer” Karl Krupp



“Everybody Knows” by Leonard Cohen (Montréal, Québec), from the album I’m Your Man (1988)

Tonight’s Broadcast Features the Ringside Commentary Teams of
Ed Whalen and Lord Alfred Hayes (English)
Marc Blondin and Jacques Rougeau (Français)

***

The following matches took place during AGPW’s brand new Explosive Pre-Game Show, available exclusively on the Mash-Up Wrestling Network:

First Match: Tyson Kidd defeated Johnny Devine by pinfall, in a time of 7:12, after he executed the Blockbuster from off of the top rope.

Second Match: Portia Perez defeated Rosita in a time of 6:28 when she forced Rosita to submit to the Just Facelock.

***

California Dreamin’ is what has come to dominate the Canadian summer here in AGPW. And why should tonight be any different? Last week, finished on a sour note for the Californians when Christian Cage and Chris Jericho stood tall against their collective forces. However, that doesn’t negate the fact that, by and large, this summer has been the summer of the warm California sun. And just in case you’ve forgotten that, all of Californiacation is here to remind you.

As the backer of the group, René Duprée, wishes to publicly congratulate everyone on their accomplishments and successes. He acknowledges “Classy” Freddie Blassie for expertly stirring the ship, “Superstar” Billy Graham for becoming the International Heavyweight Champion, Bad Influence for regaining the North American Tag Team Titles, “The BIG EVENT” Trish Stratus for her continued domination as the Women’s Champion and Awesome Kong for putting the formerly undefeated Fabulous Moolah on the shelf. But what about the bizarre one, Goldust? He wants to know why there was nary a mention of him in Duprée’s congratulatory speech. Duprée doesn’t appreciate being interrupted, but since Goldust asked why there was no mention of him, he is more than happy to tell him why. Duprée says that it is because he’s done absolutely nothing worthy of congratulation. He loses every match that he contests and he is more of a detriment to the group than anything else. In fact, Duprée says, if Goldust were to leave Californiacation, it would be the ultimate case of addition by subtraction. Blassie speaks up and notes that Goldust has not been meeting expectations and that is unacceptable.

The verdict has been handed down and Goldust doesn’t get a chance to offer a counterargument. Graham, Daniels and Kazarian administer a beatdown on Goldust and then toss him out of the ring. Having decided to boot Goldust from the club, Blassie and Duprée announce that Goldust’s contract will be assumed by Duprée, just to dig the thorns in his father’s side a little deeper.

“Not so fast!” says Commissioner Billy Two Rivers. He’s here to tell Californiacation that they don’t have the authority to simply transfer a wrestling contract from one person to another. They claim that the contract belongs to Californiacation and therefore they are free to give it to whomever they so should choose. Goldust returns to the ring and makes an impassioned speech that brings the fans on his side. He is so confident in himself and wants to make Californiacation pay for turning its back on him. He is so sure of himself that he tells Commissioner Two Rivers that he’ll put his contract on the line in a match provided that “Superstar” Billy Graham puts the International Heavyweight Championship on the line in the very same match. Graham immediately accepts and tells Blassie and Duprée that he’s got this one because he’s the man of the hour, and too sweet to be sour. He promises to take care of Goldust because he flies like a hummingbird and stings like a bee. Goldust promises that shatter the Superstar’s dreams and take his International Heavyweight Champion. And then Californiacation will never forget the name of Goldust!

*Commercial Break 1*

VS. VS. VS.

Leo Burke vs. Taz vs. Bo Dallas vs. “Killer” Karl Krupp

Commissioner Billy Two Rivers has decided to make the fatal fourway match a regular feature of AGPW’s weekly television programming. This week’s battle features an interesting dichotomy of styles, from the extremely versatile Leo Burke, to the Human Suplex Machine Taz, to the inspirational Bo Dallas, to the brawling, goose-stepping aficionado “Killer” Karl Krupp. This fourway battle features nearly 15-minutes of fast paced, heart-pounding action. In the middle of the match, Burke and Taz put on a suplex clinic. Back and forth, both men matched each other’s efforts of executing, blocking and countering suplexes. It was the kind of display that would whip even the most jaded fans into a frenzy. Of course, “This is awesome!” chants were bound to follow. However, all good things must come to an end, and they did when Dallas found an opportunity to enter the ring and execute a double-underhook DDT on Taz. He pinned him for a long 2-count, but the Most Miserable Son of a Bitch on the Planet managed to kick out at the last moment. Dallas was then hammered with a hard lariat from Krupp, who followed that up by planting Dallas into the mat with a powerbomb, which was in keeping with one of the on-going themes of the match, which was that Dallas spent most of the match either getting pummeled or staying out of harm’s way on the floor, recovering from being the brunt of everyone else’s offensive attacks. Krupp’s pin was broken up by Burke and they would end up taking the match out to the floor. Later, Taz would join into the ringside brawl and the three men would tear the ringside area apart.

Kurrgan eventually came down to ringside to involved in the ringside brawl, which prompted Cesaro to rush down to the ring and attack “The Acadian Giant”, however not before he was able to lay out Burke on the floor with a chokeslam! Cesaro and Kurrgan brawled into the entrance aisle, all the way to the back. While Taz and Krupp continue to dish out the punishment to one another, Dallas takes advantage of the situation by rolling a knocked out Burke into the ring, giving him the Bo-Dog and pinning him for a 3-count and victory. Following the match, Dallas yells out, “Yeah baby!” and then does a victory lap around the ring, jogging by Taz and Krupp who are still busy trying to choke the life out of each other while laying on top of the French play-by-play table.

Official Decision: Bo Dallas wins by pinfall

*Commercial Break 2*

VS.

Paige vs. Nicole Matthews

Paige’s second match in AGPW sees her facing one half of the Canadian NINJAs. The west coast ninja, Matthews brings a solid fight into the ring. The match is a hard fist fight to begin with, but Paige takes over after ducking a lariat and then drilling Matthews with multiple headbutts. After giving Matthews a hair-pull toss and multiple stomps, Paige settles zeroes in on her lower back and starts working it over with knee drops, leg scissors and a bow and arrow submission hold, but Matthews refuses to quit. Paige decides to take her into the corner and lifts Matthews onto the top turnbuckle, where she knocks Paige down to the mat and then executes a diving clothesline on her. Then Matthews takes over with a serious of running clotheslines and various suplexes, including snaps, fishermans and northern lights. However, when Matthews decides to go for her finisher, the Vancouver Maneuver, but Paige counters it with the Paige Turner and pins Matthews for the win.

Official Decision: Paige wins by pinfall

Jeremy Borash is standing by with Christian Cage and Chris Jericho, who cut a promo in which they discuss how easy it was to run roughshod over the entirety of Californiacation last week. While it would have been nice to have taken the North American Tag Team Titles from off of the waists of Bad Influence, what is of greater importance is that they proved to the Californians and Emile Duprée’s ungrateful ass clown of a son (René Duprée) that Vitamin C can defeat any virus big or small. And while they say that he doesn’t necessarily deserve it, they pledge to stand up for Goldust in the event that any totally bogus surfer dudes or ass clowns try to stop him from winning the International Heavyweight Championship later on tonight.

*Commercial Break 3*

VS.

Cuban Assassins vs. The Redneck Wrecking Crew w/ “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart

The Rednecks try to be good sportsman at the beginning of the match, but the Cubans aren’t interested in shaking hands. Instead, they fire off some hard fists at Cade and Murdoch. They spill out to the floor where a hard hitting brawl ensues. The Cubans are unrelenting with their violent attack. Jimmy Hart dances around ringside trying to motivate Cade and Murdoch to turn the assault around with intermittent pleas to the referee to get the Cuban Assassin, which he describes as violent, indecent Neanderthals, under control. Finally, the assault comes to an end when Murdoch powers CA Jr. over the guardrail with a back body drop and then comes to Cade’s aid. Together, the Rednecks pummel CA Sr. under finally they mount a set of dislodged ring steps and send CA Sr. crashing through the French announce team’s table with a double spinebuster! CA Jr. returns to fight and Murdoch rolls him into the ring. Hart yells through his megaphone at the referee to stop worrying about CA Sr. and finally ring the bell to start the match. Under pressure, the referee complies and the actuall bell-to-bell time of the match ends very quickly with Cade almost immediately giving CA Jr. a superkick and then a diving elbow drop. He tags in Murdoch, who gives him the Ace of Spades, but releases the sit-out pin to tag Cade back in and give CA Jr. the Sweet ‘N Sour! Cade covers for the win. Following the match, Cade, Murdoch and Hart forcibly shake hands with their two downed opponents as Lord Alfred Hayes commends them for their good-natured sporting attitudes.

Official Decision: The Redneck Wrecking Crew wins by pinfall

*Commercial Break 4*

AGPW’s only Hollywood A-List celebrity, its Women’s Champion, “THE BIG EVENT” Trish Stratus comes to the ring accompanied by Awesome Kong. She gets on the microphone and spends the next few minutes talking about all of her recent late-night television talk show appearances south of the border, her various newly signed endorsement deals, and her newly crowned title as ‘America’s Favorite Sweetheart’ (notice the American spelling of ‘favourite’) even though she was neither born there nor holds citizenship there and only recently moved into a sprawling mansion in the Hollywood Hills that is basically Los Angeles’ Little Canada (she says that she lives on the same terrace as Michael J. Fox, Jim Carrey, James Cameron, Pamela Anderson, Alex Trebek and The Biebs). Yes, it seems like everything is going right in Stratus’ life right now, including the fact that she’s been achieving huge success in her day job as AGPW’s current reigning and only ever Women’s Champion! She notes how no one has been able to beat her in what seems like forever and tells us all that is because there is no one in the entire world who can match her top shelf talent.

Enter scene Taylor Wilde, who comes to the ring to dispute Stratus’ claim to being a superior talent to ever other female wrestler in the world. Stratus defends herself by noting that she made a successful title defence against Wilde just last month. Wilde counters that by noting that Stratus’ victory was only obtained after Awesome Kong slammed her hard onto the arena floor while the referee wasn’t looking. Stratus says that Wilde is just making excuses for being a poor wrestler and tells her that she isn’t dignified enough to waste any more of Stratus’ precious time. Immediately after saying that, Awesome King runs at her and knocks her down with a big boot to the face! Kong sits down on Wilde and gives her a taste of some left and right soup bones. Stratus looks on and enjoys a good laugh while Kong dishes out the punishment, that is, until she receives a missile dropkick to the back that sends her clear across the ring! Kong looks up, but doesn’t have time to react as she takes a shining wizard kick to knock her flat off of Wilde and flat on her back! When Stratus gets up, the attacker runs over and locks on the Black Widow!

The attacker is AJ Lee! As Stratus is getting up, Lee runs over and locks on the Black Widow! She doesn’t let go until she sees a number of AGPW zebra shirts rushing to the ring, at which point she let’s go, leaves the ring of her own will, and skips away all the way to the backstage area.

AJ Lee is here!

See Atlantic Grand Prix Wrestling When It Comes to Your Town!
Sunday, August 24 – Oromocto, New Brunswick
Thursday, August 28 – Tidnish, Prince Edward Island
Friday, August 29 – Summerside, Prince Edward Island
Saturday, August 30 – Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island (DSN Live)
Sunday, August 31 – Montague, Prince Edward Island
Thursday, September 4 – Bouctouche, New Brunswick
Friday, September 5 – Sackville, New Brunswick
Saturday, September 6 – Moncton, New Brunswick (DSN Live)
Sunday, September 7 – Shediac, New Brunswick

*Commercial Break 5*

VS. w/

Samoa Joe vs. Kazarian w/ “Classy” Freddie Blassie

Samoa Joe defeats Californiacation member Kazarian by giving him the Muscle Buster after about 6-minutes of action. Joe is on a war path and his destination is “Superstar” Billy Graham and the International Heavyweight Championship!

Official Decision: Samoa Joe wins by pinfall

*Commercial Break 6*

We find Leo Burke and Rowdy Roddy Piper backstage getting into an argument over the roles of tag team partnership. It begins with Burke asking Piper why he didn’t come to his aid after he was chokeslammed by Kurrgan. Piper tells him that he knows that Burke likes to fight his own battles and doesn’t like it when someone interferes on his behalf. Burke corrects him and says that he doesn’t want people to interfere in his matches and that he wants the outcome of his singles matches to be won or lost on the merits of his own wrestling abilities. However, when he gets attacked, he likes to know that he can trust his tag team partner to have his back. Piper tells him that he’ll remember that for next time and then excuses himself from further discussion because he has important business to take care of.

Jeremy Borash is standing by with the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase and his personal assistant Virgil to find out where the Million Dollar Man has been over the last couple of weeks and asks him if there is any truth to the rumour that his disappearance from AGPW was because he feels extremely embarrassed about losing to the Samoan Submission Machine, Samoa Joe, after claiming that he would teach him an important lesson in humility. DiBiase is offended by Borash’s questions. He says that Samoa Joe had nothing to do with his recent absence from AGPW. He’s been too busy to worry about what happened in his match at TAKEOVER IN TORONTO. That’s old news and far in the past. He says that he was away on some very important business, but that he’s now back and ready to get down to the even more important business of getting back to the top of the mountain and becoming the International Heavyweight Champion. DiBiase mentions that he’ll be in next week’s DSN fatal fourway match and he intends on showing the entire world how rich his wrestling skills are when he defeats three of AGPW’s very best wrestlers all at the same time!

We now switch scenes to the backstage area where the Hollywood A-Lister and AGPW Women’s Champion “THE BIG EVENT” Trish Stratus is about to get into a limousine to leave the arena for the evening. She still looks very angry following the surprise attack on her by AJ Lee. However, before she can, AGPW Commissioner Billy Two Rivers personally delivers a message to her. Next week, she will have to defend her championship title against Taylor Wilde with Awesome Kong barred from ringside. This really isn’t THE BIG EVENT’s night. She doesn’t like the news that she has just been given and shoves our cameraman to the ground before getting into the limo and slamming the door shut.

*Commercial Break 7*

w/ VS.

International Heavyweight Championship Match
“Superstar” Billy Graham w/ “Classy” Freddie Blassie vs. Goldust

With a lot of things depending on the outcome of this match, the biggest of all being Goldust’s AGPW career, the bizarre one comes out like a house on fire. He completely overwhelms “Superstar” Billy Graham with a barrage of running clotheslines, stiff punches and stinging chops. He mixes in some snap suplexes, an inverted atomic drop, a jumping butt bump and a back body drop for good measure. The champion does everything in his power to try to escape Goldust’s punishing onslaught, but fails to get any distance from him. It is a hot crowd that is firmly behind the challenger. His name is chanted loudly as he pummels the champion. Graham finally gets a moment of separation and leaves the ring, choosing to walk away from the battle, but Goldust runs after him and slams the Tower of Power into the entrance aisle barricades a few times before rolling him back into the ring. A distract from Blassie holds him up long enough to give Graham a long enough breather so that when he enters the ring, he stares down a champion who is on his knees, begging and pleading for mercy. However, it was all just a ruse. The champion suckers Goldust into attacking, but he delivers a low blow that goes unseen by the referee. Graham uses that illegal maneuver to launch a comeback. Unlike his former ally, Graham is slow and methodical with his punches, kicks and power moves, which link together a series of holds designed to suck the life out of Goldust. He targets the torso and tries to do damage to Goldust’s chest and ribs. After several minutes of slowly being worn down, Goldust creates a break for himself. The Superstar whips him into the ropes and puts him in his bearhug, but the bizarre one breaks it up with a big open-mouthed kiss. Graham lets him go, then tries to take his head off with a clothesline, but Goldust ducks it and then gives him a powerslam! The momentum shifts as Goldust seems to be regaining his fire. Even a reversed Irish whip by the champion can’t stop the challenger, as Goldust counters a back body drop set up by falling onto his back and catching Graham with a wicked uppercut! Goldust continues his attack with several moves that get him 2-counts, but when Goldust sets up for the Final Cut, Graham does his best to stop him from being lifted into the air and then he counters the move with a vertical suplex. They both stay on the mat for nearly an entire 10-count, but then they get up and exchange blows. Goldust gets the better of the exchange and grabs Graham to go for his finisher again, but this time Graham pulls him into a small package that nearly wins the match. When they get up, Goldust does for a clothesline, but Graham ducks it and counters with a neckbreaker. As they both get to their feet again, this time Graham kicks Goldust in the abdomen twice and then gives him a piledriver. He pins his challenger. 1…2…3! “Superstar” Billy Graham retains his title and, in the process, forces Goldust out of AGPW by winning the right to transfer the contract over to Californiacation’s investor, the ungrateful backstabbing son of APGW owner, René Duprée!

Official Decision: “Superstar” Billy Graham wins by pinfall

***

Join us next week for another edition of
Dynamite Saturday Night
featuring

Trish Stratus vs. Taylor Wilde

Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Cesaro vs. Kurrgan vs. “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase

Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

This has been a presentation of