Post by MadStepDad on May 12, 2011 12:29:06 GMT -5
"The Aftermath"
We are LIVE from Hollywood CA with the biggest name in professional wrestling – JOHN CENA. Fresh of his successful title win at the All-Fantasy BCCW show “Grand Conjunction”, John is here not only to bask in the championship glow, but to promote his new Hollywood endeavor “Legendary”. Millions of spectators turned out for the event, and thousands more were denied entrance. The IWC’s #1 scribe Chip Chimney got the inside scoop:
CHIP CHIMNEY (IWC Reporter): John! John! Quick word with you, if we could!!! The IWC is alive with a flurry of activity regarding your new movie. They’re calling it better than Vision Quest, Invincible, Rudy and The Rookie all put together! Do you think those comparisons are fair?
JOHN CENA: Vision Quest is the story of stories. But in that film, the lead character leans on his best friend. Legendary is a story about bringing a family back together. So they share some elements, but they’re very different stories. I think if anyone could’ve benefited from seeing Vision Quest, it would’ve been Legendary’s lead character Cal. It has elements of Hoosiers and Rudy, with an underweight kid who isn’t worth a damn. But it really is more of a drama, with wrestling used as a garnish, which is what I like about it. There’s even a bit of Lucas in there.
CHIP CHIMNEY: They’re saying that in Dayton OH this movie is premiering at the hottest joint in town, and is the “very epitome of legitimate mainstream cinematic excellence”!!! Who were your acting inspirations for this role?
JOHN CENA: I wouldn’t want to watch a movie in which I imitated somebody. That’d be like watching a Buddy Rogers match and trying to emulate the “Nature Boy” (chuckles sarcastically). People would see right through it. I don’t want to emulate, I just want to do the best I can.
Before our intrepid reporter can ask a follow-up question, there is a fracas on the red carpet. Security is at-arms attempting to muscle an intruder out of the way. It’s BOBBY “the Brain” HEENAN!!! He calls out to Cena, now that he has the entire sidewalk’s attention.
BOBBY HEENAN: If I was managing you I would commit suicide!!! (looks Cena’s red-carpet outfit up and down) You should get arrested for impersonating a lampshade!!!
CHIP CHIMNEY: Heenan! What are you doing here!?!? This is invite only!!!
BOBBY HEENAN: The money's the same, whether you earn it or scam it. And I know all about cheating. I've had six very successful marriages.
Before he can be forcefully ejected by security, Heenan calls out Cena on behalf of the OG Nature Boy. Cena’s a coward who has been ducking the REAL World Champion’s rematch clause!!! Cena is a fraud who can’t even wrestle!!!
JOHN CENA: I took an amateur wrestling class in college for 0.5 credits! It lasted a semester and I passed! The Springfield college wrestling coach taught it. I learned three things: the basics of wrestling, how difficult the sport is… and the Diamond Dynasty can’t hold a candle to the Cenation!!!
BOBBY HEENAN: I'm a legend in this sport! If you don't believe me, ask me!
Just as the Weasel is being whisked away, WADE BARRETT suddenly blindsides the Champ live on the Red Carpet and knocks him to the sidewalk! The crowd grasps in shock! Cena rubs his head angrily as Barrett and Heenan laugh and escort themselves out.
BOBBY HEENAN: The Cenation is going to die here tonight in Los Angeles. And what a horrible place to be buried!!!
Cena just glares at them angrily as publicists and agents help him to his feet. Meanwhile crowd attention has slowly begun amassing around a 2011 Rolls Royce parked nearby. None other than the immaculately- attired "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers has stolen the scene! He's puffing a big cigar and signing autographs, all the while looking like a million bucks. When the TMZ cameras finally rush over to them, he simply unfolds a legal document folded in his breast pocket. It's a contract guaranteeing him a rematch against Cena for the Unified Championship. Rogers chuckles as the cameras close in on the fine print. "Special Referee will be....." Buddy Rogers abruptly pulls the paper away and refolds it. He chuckles and glares into the TMZ cameras
BUDDY ROGERS: To a nicer guy it couldn't happen!!!!
We are LIVE from Hollywood CA with the biggest name in professional wrestling – JOHN CENA. Fresh of his successful title win at the All-Fantasy BCCW show “Grand Conjunction”, John is here not only to bask in the championship glow, but to promote his new Hollywood endeavor “Legendary”. Millions of spectators turned out for the event, and thousands more were denied entrance. The IWC’s #1 scribe Chip Chimney got the inside scoop:
CHIP CHIMNEY (IWC Reporter): John! John! Quick word with you, if we could!!! The IWC is alive with a flurry of activity regarding your new movie. They’re calling it better than Vision Quest, Invincible, Rudy and The Rookie all put together! Do you think those comparisons are fair?
JOHN CENA: Vision Quest is the story of stories. But in that film, the lead character leans on his best friend. Legendary is a story about bringing a family back together. So they share some elements, but they’re very different stories. I think if anyone could’ve benefited from seeing Vision Quest, it would’ve been Legendary’s lead character Cal. It has elements of Hoosiers and Rudy, with an underweight kid who isn’t worth a damn. But it really is more of a drama, with wrestling used as a garnish, which is what I like about it. There’s even a bit of Lucas in there.
CHIP CHIMNEY: They’re saying that in Dayton OH this movie is premiering at the hottest joint in town, and is the “very epitome of legitimate mainstream cinematic excellence”!!! Who were your acting inspirations for this role?
JOHN CENA: I wouldn’t want to watch a movie in which I imitated somebody. That’d be like watching a Buddy Rogers match and trying to emulate the “Nature Boy” (chuckles sarcastically). People would see right through it. I don’t want to emulate, I just want to do the best I can.
Before our intrepid reporter can ask a follow-up question, there is a fracas on the red carpet. Security is at-arms attempting to muscle an intruder out of the way. It’s BOBBY “the Brain” HEENAN!!! He calls out to Cena, now that he has the entire sidewalk’s attention.
BOBBY HEENAN: If I was managing you I would commit suicide!!! (looks Cena’s red-carpet outfit up and down) You should get arrested for impersonating a lampshade!!!
CHIP CHIMNEY: Heenan! What are you doing here!?!? This is invite only!!!
BOBBY HEENAN: The money's the same, whether you earn it or scam it. And I know all about cheating. I've had six very successful marriages.
Before he can be forcefully ejected by security, Heenan calls out Cena on behalf of the OG Nature Boy. Cena’s a coward who has been ducking the REAL World Champion’s rematch clause!!! Cena is a fraud who can’t even wrestle!!!
JOHN CENA: I took an amateur wrestling class in college for 0.5 credits! It lasted a semester and I passed! The Springfield college wrestling coach taught it. I learned three things: the basics of wrestling, how difficult the sport is… and the Diamond Dynasty can’t hold a candle to the Cenation!!!
BOBBY HEENAN: I'm a legend in this sport! If you don't believe me, ask me!
Just as the Weasel is being whisked away, WADE BARRETT suddenly blindsides the Champ live on the Red Carpet and knocks him to the sidewalk! The crowd grasps in shock! Cena rubs his head angrily as Barrett and Heenan laugh and escort themselves out.
BOBBY HEENAN: The Cenation is going to die here tonight in Los Angeles. And what a horrible place to be buried!!!
Cena just glares at them angrily as publicists and agents help him to his feet. Meanwhile crowd attention has slowly begun amassing around a 2011 Rolls Royce parked nearby. None other than the immaculately- attired "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers has stolen the scene! He's puffing a big cigar and signing autographs, all the while looking like a million bucks. When the TMZ cameras finally rush over to them, he simply unfolds a legal document folded in his breast pocket. It's a contract guaranteeing him a rematch against Cena for the Unified Championship. Rogers chuckles as the cameras close in on the fine print. "Special Referee will be....." Buddy Rogers abruptly pulls the paper away and refolds it. He chuckles and glares into the TMZ cameras
BUDDY ROGERS: To a nicer guy it couldn't happen!!!!