Post by MadStepDad on Feb 21, 2012 22:47:47 GMT -5
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
** Recap of “MBVII”, including Lou Thesz' 5-Star title defense against “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers, John Cena overcoming William Muldoon and Sammartino downing Samoa Joe in hellacious battles, and the debut of a NEW debutante of Lizzy Borden’s XXXtreme Woman’s div! With hearts broken and new alliances forged, we’ve come to a renaissance period in XPW Remixed. A time of unparalleled growth and widespread acclaim. Yet with the management company of XPW Remixed effectively HALVED with the disintegration of the Commission, XPW Remixed has promised a “spring cleaning” tour of its own. All culminating in what could quite possibly be the GRANDEST undertaking in XPW Remixed history… a 2-night, epic-level “FALLOUT FESTIVAL” PPV!! A real life wrestling version of Woodstock! Coming late March! BRACE YOURSELF!!!
** CUT TO RING **
_______________________________________________________________
"CHAMP CHOOSES THE CONTENDER"
"The value was not in the title, but in Rogers defeating me for the title. And it was worth a hell of a lot more than $25,000. It was a power play and I was hot for years for even considering it."
Show opening entrance from XPW Remixed champion LOU THESZ. In-ring promo from the champ, putting aside his hard-fought victory at MBVII and moving on to the next challenge. He calls out another man who had a big victory at MBVII – and the man who had his rightful #1 contendership yanked away from him… BRUNO SAMMARTINO. Thesz calls out Bruno to offer him next shot at the title at the FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!
Enter Bruno Sammartino, fresh off his exciting victory at MBVII… not too many words from the Italian Strongman, but he’s MORE than happy to oblige Thesz’ request for a title shot – and begrudges Thesz the respect of calling him out in the first place. This is a fantasy wrestling fans DREAM MATCH that’s been festering, bubbling and boiling for over 40 years… but before Sammartino & Thesz can cement the partnership (something the crowd obviously wants to see, as they went absolutely ballistic when the specter of Thesz vs Sammartino was raised)… they are interrupted on the mic by a violent force from the future!!
Enter SAMOA JOE!!! The angry, volatile Samoan Submission machine still has a bone to pick with Sammartino, as Joe is NOT satisfied with how the match unfolded… he exchanges some very harsh threats with Bruno, but before violence can erupt… we are cut off by the triumphant sounds of Celtic music (?!?)
Enter SHEAMUS! He enters the arena amongst his congregation, showing up in the crowded balcony section of the fans… he is wildly embraced by the people as he addresses the gathering of legends with a bird’s eye view… He cuts a brief promo putting over his mission (Sheamus = also victorious at MBVII), saluting the Irish fighting spirit, and challenging Lou Thesz to an XPW Championship title match!!! (big crowd pop)
FINALLY to infuse some sense of order into these Wild West, gunslinger proceedings comes XPW Remixed owner (and GDT Inc president) ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS… he addresses all the men on the mic, acknowledges their respective grievances, and makes a formal ruling: #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH TONIGHT.
BRUNO SAMMARTINO… versus SAMOA JOE… versus SHEAMUS… versus THIS man in a Fatal 4-Way bout…
JOHN CENA!!!
The reigning XPW Boston champion get his surprising entrance to a HUGE crowd pop (that tapers off into small pockets of “Cena sucks” chants; still not too much to acknowledge)… From the head of the table, high atop the entrance ramp, Cena addresses the fans and his opponents with a rousing promo that climaxes with him raising his Boston championship high aloft to meet Lou Thesz’ XPW World title!!! All the while Sammartino & Joe exchange death glares and Sheamus stares down hard upon the ring! We’ve got a massive #1 Contenders Fatal-4 Way match TONIGHT!!!
______________________________________________________________
JINDER MAHAL (2013) w/ Raisha Saeed
versus…
MIL MASCARAS (1975)!!!
w/ versus
Back from commercial break and we’ve got the entire Evil Empire positioned in the ring… with an action-ready Jinder Mahal in the center (mic in hand) he is surrounded by Raisha Saeed, Great Gama & Great Khali… Jinder Mahal cuts another venomous half Punjab/half English promo that gets the crowd booing loudly… complains about being banned from the MBVII PPV over racist politics etc… serious gripes, grievances, legal threats… Jinder Mahal references the 4-way face off earlier and DEMANDS action tonight!!! He is answered by the loud sudden BLAST of pyro and music… re-introducing MIL MASCARAS (1975!) Returning from action after his mysterious ninja-star assault he is out with a flash to meet Mahal head-on… Mascaras is in control as the match starts hot and heavy, and Great Gama & Khali even wind up getting ejected from ringside (after eating a HUGE Mascaras flying body press from the top turnbuckle to the floor that elicited loud “XPW! XPW!” chants)… another reason for Mahal and men to complain of unfair practices… Mascaras and Mahal go back and forth, with Jinder trying to target Mascaras’ previously injured arm with his armbreaker finisher, but being unsuccessful… after a series of counters and reversals, Mascaras winds up leaping to the top rope off an Irish-whip attempt from Mahal, and CRUSHING the Punjabi royalty with a flying body press! Mascaras gets the clean 3 count in the center of the ring! Mahal is incredulous, and complains loud and long about being “unprepared” for the fight tonight…
Winner: MIL MASCARAS
***********************
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Shane Douglas is caught in the locker room giving a royal tongue lashing to Tammy “Sunny” Sytch… he’s absolutely verbally BLASTING her (as only Shane Douglas could) about her time in the Triple Threat and treatment of Chris Candido… as she cowers from him, this of course summons Sunny’s NEW boyfriend Big Shad G to the scene… but before he can finish barking out “what’s going on in hea--”… Shane Douglas punches him in the mouth! A quick, violent brawl erupts between Douglas and Gaspard with Sunny’s hysterical screams in the background… and Shane Douglas actually lays the smackdown on Shad G, finally laying him out by slamming his head in a locker door… Shane has some final words for Sunny, but she warns him right back… she knows what he’s so pissed about, and why he came to XPW Remixed in the first place… and she knows of somebody from Douglas’ past that will KEEP him in his place!... Douglas and Sunny have a tense stare-off before Shane storms out of the locker room and Sunny crouches down to tend to Big Shad G…[
** CUT TO ARENA **
______________________________________________________________
”BATTLE FOR BAM BAM”
(The final conclusion)
Backstage correspondent MSD has the side-stage set up for this next segment… He does a quick hype segment ala “Mean” Gene Okerlund/Jeremy Borash, before introducing “the most coveted free-agent in Fantasy Wrestling today” BAM BAM BIGELOW (1988)… the flame-covered behemoth enters the arena to a big pop, but still does not look very happy… MSD catches him for a few easy softball questions, keeping it light and the talking (or rather, “aggressive, forced shouting like a fat kid throwing a tantrum") from Bigelow to a minimum… finally the grand reveal… Bam Bam Bigelow has declined every managerial mind in the known universe in order to sign with…
”WILD” RED BERRY (!?!?) (Who??)
Enter a lithe, sly little evil with a derby hat and a cane. The pompous, smarmy bastard irritates immediately, and takes a stance next to MSD (shaking Bam Bam’s hand in the process). MSD seems surprised to see him, and asks – “for the uninitiated would you please introduce yourself to the XPW Remixed audience”? Red Berry is the name, “Wild” is the catch phrase. Manager extraordinaire, and from his posh, decadent (and multisyllabic) debut he is a clear forefather of energetic wordsmiths like TGW, Paul E. Dangerously & Jim Cornette… and his vast, cerebral vocabulary reminds you of WWF NewGeneration-era Bob Backlund. For example, here’s an excerpt of “Wild” Red Berry describing the devastation his singles superstar Bam Bam Bigelow will wreak in XPW Remixed:
“"Bam Bam Bigelow will proceed to maltreat and obliterate them!!! I will turn loose such terrific voltage and velocity and elliptical trajectory that when it lands on the cleft of the chin it will tear loose their medulla oblongata from the pericardium, cure them of chronic dandruff and knock out four of their impacted wisdom teeth!!."
Suddenly – “Written in My Face” blasts through the arena sound system… enter SHEAMUS (2012)!!! Now, dressed for combat, Sheamus enters with a smirk – soaks in the crowd applause – and takes a stand on the side-stage with MSD, Bam Bam & “Wild” Red Berry… Sheamus is at his cocky, condescending, underestimating finest… going toe-to-toe with one of “Wild” Red Berry’s big worded monologues with one of his patented charming ol’ Irish tales… Sheamus good naturedly ribs and needles his partner and “big fella” Bam Bam Bigelow over his choice of such an underwhelming, spindly little nobody to be his manager… Sheamus mocks all the noise and hype over the “Battle for Bam Bam” ending with this anticlimactic reveal – “Wild” Red Berry going over like a “wet fart in church”. Sheamus bullies an indignant Berry a little further, before swinging momentum back into his own favor – engaging the crowd – and getting them to chant and cheer for Sheamus’ participation in the main event #1 Contender bout tonight! Sheamus = next XPW Remixed champion! He claps Bigelow on the back good humouredly (indicating he’s just joshing about his choice of manager) and leaves the set. “Wild” Red Berry is practically trembling with anger of being upstaged, as Bigelow looks on forlornly (perhaps regretting his decision?)
Sheamus is in the Fatal 4-way #1 Contenders match TONIGHT!
** CUT **
_______________________________________________________________
"RESIGNATION OF THE QUEEN"
Cue Lizzy Borden’s theme song… the current XPW Remixed Woman’s champion AND Woman’s Div Pres enters XPW arena in shambles… With the crutches, neck brace and dark sunglasses covering her bruises and black eyes, she looks like a domestic violence victim (a reminder of her run-in with Mildred Burke @ “MBVII”)… behind Borden rises up a mammoth, colossal specimen of the female species – CHYNA UNLEASHED! This is 2012 Chyna, fresh off the set of her latest Royal Rumble-themed porn shoot, and still trying to get at VKM JR on twitter… she’s crazed, and the way she strides to the ring beside Lizzy Borden you know she’s here in XPW Remixed for a reason…
In the ring, we’re greeted by a quick whiny promo from the (clearly) injured Lizzy Borden… the Woman’s Championship has been too much of a burden for her crown to bear (Solie & Striker surmise when the belt became more than a vanity title she wanted nothing more to do with it)… therefore Lizzy Borden – using her power as Woman’s Division President – is herby relinquishing the XPW Remixed Woman’s Championship… to CHYNA! In an elaborate, over-the-top gift giving session, Lizzy Borden exchanges the championship belt with Chyna like it’s an episode of “The View”… Chyna now gets the mic for her first official mission statement in XPW Remixed… slightly off-kilter rambling about “one more match” and being crowned the true “Queen of XXXtreme” that is thankfully cut off by… none other than XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS! (alongside GDT Inc legal counsel David Otunga)!!!
Lewis & Otunga remind Lizzy Borden about the legal technicalities involved in relinquishing a championship (even citing the Hogan/Andre/Dibiase incident from WWF 1988)… over rule her decision… declare her fit to compete… AND order an impromptu title defense right now! Lizzy Borden and Chyna have steadily grown angrier with each decree before exploding at the last demand! The crowd is now going rapid for action and Chyna is calling out to the entrance curtain, almost daring somebody to step out and catch a beatdown… the hobbled Lizzy Borden tries slinking out of the ring, but before she can... ANNIE SOCIAL slides in the ring from the rear!!!
** XPW WOMAN’S CHAMPIONSHIP **
LIZZY BORDEN versus ANNIE SOCIAL
vs
A blast from the past as the Killadelphia PA hood chick Annie Social (dressed in cargo pants and a tight wife beater) snatches Lizzy Borden up unawares from the rear and compresses her on the back of a neck with a crushing German Suplex w/ bridge for the pin! Before Chyna can even realize what’s happening, Annie Social has rolled out of the ring already and grabbed HER XPW Remixed Woman’s championship belt back!!! Borden is left practically crying on the mat… Chyna storming around the ring with rage in her eyes… Annie Social celebrating with the fans and cussing at Chyna & Borden (telling Lizzy “I told you so, bitch!!!”)… but President Lewis ain't done yet....
Winner (and NEW XPW Remixed Woman’s Champion): ANNIE SOCIAL
Lizzy Borden is officially FIRED as XPW Woman's Division president!!! And since Chyna is still "thirsting for action", he's taken the liberty of delivering her first XPW Remixed match-up. And since we're still not sure if Chyna is male or female, it shouldn't be a legal issue (big pop at the insult)!!! Because Chyna's opponent at the Fallout Festival technically can't legally compete against other females (the result of a twisted contract written by Lizzy Borden herself)... enter MILDRED BURKE!!! The diminutive (yet solid steel) vixen wants a fight with Chyna! And just to make absolutely sure Lizzy can't weasel their way out of this one too, they want to make it an "Unsanctioned" match... in a steel cage!!! Burke challenges Chyna! She accepts! We're on at the Fallout Festival!!! Lizzy Borden throws a tantrum while Ed Lewis & David Otunga exit through the curtains with satisfied smirks upon their faces. Meanwhile Chyna and Burke have the tense stare-down from entrance ramp to ring...
CHYNA versus MILDRED BURKE in a steel cage!!!
Only at the FALLOUT FESTIVAL!!!
** FADE OUT **
________________________________________________________________
"THUMBTACK JACK IS ULTRA-VIOLENCE"
The new and improved Thumbtack Jack takes the ring to declare his dominion, pledge his allegience to "the New Horror" Sami Callihan and his mission to resurrect Death Match wrestling in XPW Remixed... he calls out death match wrestlers as being a disgrace, and even has some harsh things to say about Danny Havoc (and his wife - see above)... but he saves his most potent venom for "Sick" Nick Mondo - who has forsaken the elements of Xtreme... and in turn, lost his soul... Thumbtack Jack will help him find that soul, or forever snuff it out... Jack wants Mondo in an Xtreme Rulez Death Match!!! But is "Sick" Nick Mondo man enough to accept that challenge???
** CUT BACKSTAGE **
*******************
JON MOXLEY versus
THE SHEIK (w/ The Grand Wizard)
(No Holds-Barred / Falls Count Anywhere Match)
versus w/
Backstage interlude… a war-torn Jon Moxley is seen strapping up in the locker room… when he’s approached by THE GRAND WIZARD!!! Jon Moxley jumps to his defense, but TGW waves him off… the multi-colored, turban-wearing loudmouth walks gingerly (still sore from his post MBVII beat down) and has bruising on his face… he’s NOT here to antagonize or challenge Jon Moxley any further (Moxley begins to let his guard down)… as a matter of fact, Moxley’s fighting spirit at MBVII caught TGW’s eye, and he’s sorry to say he underestimated Jon Moxley before. “The Street Dog” has certainly caught his eye now, and TGW wants to issue a formal invitation for Moxley to join his camp!!! The Grand Wizard is trying to rebuild his managerial stable and wants Jon Moxley to be his corner stone!!! But Moxley just sneers at The Grand Wizard and DECLINES him! Jon Moxley is his own man and walks his own path! His refusal enrages The Grand Wizard, who begins trembling and turning red with anger… he starts going off on a tirade on Moxley, before Jon just snatches the skinny little manager by his collar and heaves him out of the locker room into the hallway! Moxley starts to advance upon TGW in the hallway, but suddenly he – and the cameras – are blindsided by a large fiery FLASH!!! Moxley is down! The SHEIK is back in the picture, his fingers still smoldering from the huge FIREBALL he just hurled in Moxley’s face!!!
The OG Sheik isn't finished with Jon Moxley yet!!!
OG Sheik scatters backstage personnel and goes hardcore on Moxley… all the while The Grand Wizard shouts threats and taunts… Solie & Striker discuss the "meeting" between TGW’s camp and BLKOut at the end of MBVII and wonder what kind of arrangement they must have come to for TGW to still be amongst the living (more info to come on the next XPW Online)... but Solie & Striker have to admit TGW must have bowed down… Sheik scatters Moxley across tables and launches his face off the surrounding walls and doors, leaving splatters of blood everywhere… but amazingly Jon Moxley fights back and now TGW is singing a different tune… a bloody Jon Moxley winds up dragging Sheik out through the back curtain to the ring area, where the crowds greet them with cheers… now Moxley is in all his bloody, trash-talking glory - running down TGW the entire time… TGW tries to run interference… doesn’t work, as Moxley cuts off his attempt to slide Sheik a steel chair and uses the weapon against Sheik, hammering him down on the metal entrance stage… now Moxley finally has TGW by his scrawny little neck and he’s backing off and calling for help… enter Abdullah the Butcher with a kendo stick! The Madman from the Sudan is back in XPW Remixed (from a tour of the Bloody Far East, Solie tells you)!!!
A quick Kendo stick beat down on Moxley… Sheik struggles to his feet and attempts to collaborate with Abdullah the Butcher on a double team move… but Moxley moves at the last moment - Sheik catches the Kendo stick square between the eyes - and dead man plunges off the entrance ramp through two conveniently-placed tables… menial, pedestrian bump overall but still very exciting to see Sheik go that length to put Moxley over… and in a fiery tribute to Terry Funk himself, Moxley clonks Abdullah the Butcher off the head with a flaming chair as the crowd chants “XPW!!! XPW!!!” TGW is left to curse and slink off, while Moxley plays to the crowd and yells to the sky “U WILL KNOW MY NAME!!!!”
Winner (by match-ending devastation): JON MOXLEY
*************
"SICK" NICK MONDO answers THUMBTACK JACK
** BACKSTAGE PROMO **
”Sick” Nick Mondo nurses his First Blood match injuries and swears vengeance upon Thumbtack Jack for his cruel attack… Mondo is trying to elevate himself and his craft beyond mere “backyard” or “Death match” wrestler… his “Best of the Best” win was a great start, but every time he gets ahead… Demons want to pull him back… that’s why “Sick” Nick Mondo is challenging Thumbtack Jack straight up - no gimmicks, no toys, no weaponry… to PROVE who the better wrestler is!!! But Thumbtack Jack, are you man enough to accept THAT?
** CUT **
"WEST COAST RYDAS"
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Brutal, backstage gangland assault upon B-Boy perpetuated by the Cali Cripplers! It started with the cocky and condescending Adam Pearce stepping to B-Boy in the corrider, and disrespecting him… but before “The New Age Punisher” B-Boy could get off but a few shots, he was set upon and ambushed by the Uso brothers (in their American Eagle finest) with Tamina by their side! The entire club pounds out B-Boy, until finally Cali Cripplers head coach AD SANTEL saunters into the scene… he has some harsh, G-talk for B-Boy - viciously reminding him that Ad Santel’s Cripplers RUN the West Coast… and San Francisco is MINE… he annexes B-Boy and banishes him from XPW Remixed, telling him to never show his face around here again! CURB STOMP!!! B-Boy was just figuratively shot in the back of the head and had his body ditched from the West Coast!
Ad Santel runs San Francisco!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
___________________________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Lizzy Borden is practically in tears in the locker room, when she’s approached by… Shane Douglas (??)… in a surprising twist, Douglas actually comforts Lizzy and says the two of them have been on a downward spiral in XPW Remixed lately… and it’s time to shake things up a bit… Shane unveils a mid-sized black sack he’s carrying with him… Lizzy starts to smile as she comprehends what he’s suggesting… this is an XPW Remixed Acid Flashback… coming up next...
SHANE DOUGLAS versus CHRIS CANDIDO
versus
Shane Douglas takes the ring alongside Lizzy Borden ()… he has a black sack he carries with him into the ring… he cuts a classic Shane Douglas promo, downplaying his time in the Triple Threat, bigging up the Philly wrestling fans, and unsheathing the object hidden in the black sack… it’s an XPW Championship belt! (??) As Shane is quick to explain - he came to XPW Remixed for one reason: finish the job he started! See, as far as Shane (and now Lizzy Borden as well) see it - since Shane Douglas was the last Original XPW Champion (circa 2002)… and he never officially LOST the title… that means Shane Douglas is STILL the XPW Champion! And he’s sick and tired of being overlooked and misjudged! It’s time for a change in the Territory Wars, and the muthaphuckkin FRANCHISE is just the man to lead that charge! So here's Shane Douglas' contribution to XPW's "Spring Cleaning" project... right here, right now - Shane Douglas will put his ORIGINAL (and still unclaimed) XPW Championship on the line in an open challenge... LOSER LEAVES XPW REMIXED FOR GOOD!!! Suddenly… the curtains part, and somebody from Douglas’ “past” emerges to answer the call...
Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed Commissioner "Real Deal" Damien Steele
and his secretary Jasmin St Claire
HAVANA PITBULLS versus
(No Holds-Barred / Falls Count Anywhere Match)
versus w/
Backstage interlude… a war-torn Jon Moxley is seen strapping up in the locker room… when he’s approached by THE GRAND WIZARD!!! Jon Moxley jumps to his defense, but TGW waves him off… the multi-colored, turban-wearing loudmouth walks gingerly (still sore from his post MBVII beat down) and has bruising on his face… he’s NOT here to antagonize or challenge Jon Moxley any further (Moxley begins to let his guard down)… as a matter of fact, Moxley’s fighting spirit at MBVII caught TGW’s eye, and he’s sorry to say he underestimated Jon Moxley before. “The Street Dog” has certainly caught his eye now, and TGW wants to issue a formal invitation for Moxley to join his camp!!! The Grand Wizard is trying to rebuild his managerial stable and wants Jon Moxley to be his corner stone!!! But Moxley just sneers at The Grand Wizard and DECLINES him! Jon Moxley is his own man and walks his own path! His refusal enrages The Grand Wizard, who begins trembling and turning red with anger… he starts going off on a tirade on Moxley, before Jon just snatches the skinny little manager by his collar and heaves him out of the locker room into the hallway! Moxley starts to advance upon TGW in the hallway, but suddenly he – and the cameras – are blindsided by a large fiery FLASH!!! Moxley is down! The SHEIK is back in the picture, his fingers still smoldering from the huge FIREBALL he just hurled in Moxley’s face!!!
The OG Sheik isn't finished with Jon Moxley yet!!!
OG Sheik scatters backstage personnel and goes hardcore on Moxley… all the while The Grand Wizard shouts threats and taunts… Solie & Striker discuss the "meeting" between TGW’s camp and BLKOut at the end of MBVII and wonder what kind of arrangement they must have come to for TGW to still be amongst the living (more info to come on the next XPW Online)... but Solie & Striker have to admit TGW must have bowed down… Sheik scatters Moxley across tables and launches his face off the surrounding walls and doors, leaving splatters of blood everywhere… but amazingly Jon Moxley fights back and now TGW is singing a different tune… a bloody Jon Moxley winds up dragging Sheik out through the back curtain to the ring area, where the crowds greet them with cheers… now Moxley is in all his bloody, trash-talking glory - running down TGW the entire time… TGW tries to run interference… doesn’t work, as Moxley cuts off his attempt to slide Sheik a steel chair and uses the weapon against Sheik, hammering him down on the metal entrance stage… now Moxley finally has TGW by his scrawny little neck and he’s backing off and calling for help… enter Abdullah the Butcher with a kendo stick! The Madman from the Sudan is back in XPW Remixed (from a tour of the Bloody Far East, Solie tells you)!!!
A quick Kendo stick beat down on Moxley… Sheik struggles to his feet and attempts to collaborate with Abdullah the Butcher on a double team move… but Moxley moves at the last moment - Sheik catches the Kendo stick square between the eyes - and dead man plunges off the entrance ramp through two conveniently-placed tables… menial, pedestrian bump overall but still very exciting to see Sheik go that length to put Moxley over… and in a fiery tribute to Terry Funk himself, Moxley clonks Abdullah the Butcher off the head with a flaming chair as the crowd chants “XPW!!! XPW!!!” TGW is left to curse and slink off, while Moxley plays to the crowd and yells to the sky “U WILL KNOW MY NAME!!!!”
Winner (by match-ending devastation): JON MOXLEY
*************
"SICK" NICK MONDO answers THUMBTACK JACK
** BACKSTAGE PROMO **
”Sick” Nick Mondo nurses his First Blood match injuries and swears vengeance upon Thumbtack Jack for his cruel attack… Mondo is trying to elevate himself and his craft beyond mere “backyard” or “Death match” wrestler… his “Best of the Best” win was a great start, but every time he gets ahead… Demons want to pull him back… that’s why “Sick” Nick Mondo is challenging Thumbtack Jack straight up - no gimmicks, no toys, no weaponry… to PROVE who the better wrestler is!!! But Thumbtack Jack, are you man enough to accept THAT?
** CUT **
"WEST COAST RYDAS"
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Brutal, backstage gangland assault upon B-Boy perpetuated by the Cali Cripplers! It started with the cocky and condescending Adam Pearce stepping to B-Boy in the corrider, and disrespecting him… but before “The New Age Punisher” B-Boy could get off but a few shots, he was set upon and ambushed by the Uso brothers (in their American Eagle finest) with Tamina by their side! The entire club pounds out B-Boy, until finally Cali Cripplers head coach AD SANTEL saunters into the scene… he has some harsh, G-talk for B-Boy - viciously reminding him that Ad Santel’s Cripplers RUN the West Coast… and San Francisco is MINE… he annexes B-Boy and banishes him from XPW Remixed, telling him to never show his face around here again! CURB STOMP!!! B-Boy was just figuratively shot in the back of the head and had his body ditched from the West Coast!
Ad Santel runs San Francisco!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
___________________________________________________________________
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Lizzy Borden is practically in tears in the locker room, when she’s approached by… Shane Douglas (??)… in a surprising twist, Douglas actually comforts Lizzy and says the two of them have been on a downward spiral in XPW Remixed lately… and it’s time to shake things up a bit… Shane unveils a mid-sized black sack he’s carrying with him… Lizzy starts to smile as she comprehends what he’s suggesting… this is an XPW Remixed Acid Flashback… coming up next...
SHANE DOUGLAS versus CHRIS CANDIDO
versus
Shane Douglas takes the ring alongside Lizzy Borden ()… he has a black sack he carries with him into the ring… he cuts a classic Shane Douglas promo, downplaying his time in the Triple Threat, bigging up the Philly wrestling fans, and unsheathing the object hidden in the black sack… it’s an XPW Championship belt! (??) As Shane is quick to explain - he came to XPW Remixed for one reason: finish the job he started! See, as far as Shane (and now Lizzy Borden as well) see it - since Shane Douglas was the last Original XPW Champion (circa 2002)… and he never officially LOST the title… that means Shane Douglas is STILL the XPW Champion! And he’s sick and tired of being overlooked and misjudged! It’s time for a change in the Territory Wars, and the muthaphuckkin FRANCHISE is just the man to lead that charge! So here's Shane Douglas' contribution to XPW's "Spring Cleaning" project... right here, right now - Shane Douglas will put his ORIGINAL (and still unclaimed) XPW Championship on the line in an open challenge... LOSER LEAVES XPW REMIXED FOR GOOD!!! Suddenly… the curtains part, and somebody from Douglas’ “past” emerges to answer the call...
Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed Commissioner "Real Deal" Damien Steele
and his secretary Jasmin St Claire
HAVANA PITBULLS versus
FABULOUS KANGAROOS (debut!!!)
versus
XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele opens up the next segment in the ring, alongside his secretary Jasmine St. Claire… the Havana Pitbulls are already in the ring, ready for action… hype, hype, hype from Steele… this is the big one… ladies and gentleman, introducing THE FABULOUS KANGAROOS!!! Much pomp and circumstance is made of their triumphant entrance… complete with Australian music and costumed natives… they even have little toy boomerangs for all the kids… their glad-handing, smiling entrance just reeks of fakeness as an American flag waves proudly next to the Australian flag they also carry… instantly you recognize this is Kurt Angle 1999 / Fabulous Rougeou Bros 1989 kind of heat, with the un-American Kangaroos pretending to love America SOOO much it’s unbearable and obnoxious… crowd immediately sees through their façade and boos them mercilessly… the Fab Kangs never mind that though, and continue to play the role of “baby-faces”… even though they cheat, whine and complain to the ref! Competitive squash as the Pitbulls do their thing and get some offense, but match is obviously just a showcase for the debuting Fab Kangs who run a quick interference scheme that earns them a tainted pinfall victory. The Fab Kangs celebrate in gloriously exaggerated fashion like they just won the world titles… they have the mic and through thick Australian accents show their appreciation for America (booo!), show their love for XPW Remixed (booo!) and introduce their new manager and the man who helped bring them here… “WILD” RED BERRY!!! He’s back again with another managerial coup! And he’s just added the newest and hottest tag team to his ranks!!!
Winners: FABULOUS KANGAROOS
** CUT **
______________________________________________________________
"BOSTON'z FINEST"
Here’s a little local flavor for you, stirred up in a giant bean pot. “International Championship Wrestling” (IWC) was founded in the early-mid ‘80s and based out of the New England region. It helped capitalize on a pro wrestling craze that was engulfing the world, and turned out many local fanatics. One of those local yokels was a young Tony Rumble – yet another in a long line of lifelong wrestling fans (like Mick Foley) who loved the business so much they couldn’t help but get involved. From sneaking into Boston Garden shows as a kid, to joining the newly-minted ICW as practically a backyard wrestler, young Tony Rumble just had to be a part of the scene. Just like XPW Original opening in LA and showcasing much of the local talent, IWC did that for the 80’s/90s Boston area. In ring, Tony Rumble was a jobber – getting pummeled by the likes of Abdullah the Butcher, Bruiser Brody, Kevin Sullivan and “Superstar” Billy Graham. In 1986 he formed a tag team called “The Boston Bad Boys” (a name that would stick with Tony during his solo run) that had a brief run of glory (climaxing with an ICW TV taping match versus the 1986 Midnight Rockers (Michaels & Jannetty) during the ICW/AWA “merger”). Rumble’s runs as a wrestler (also including the masked “Dungeon Master”) didn’t propel him to main events, but his brain and passion for the business never waned. He worked his way up to an ICW booker and manager, and some of his ideas and creations were said to have inspired Paul Heyman years later when he expanded ECW. As a manager, Rumble really found his niche – leading Tony Atlas to the ICW Championship and a young Tazmaniac (aka ECW Taz) to the ICW Light Heavyweight title. Later on Rumble would create the CWA (Century Wrestling Alliance) an earlier precursor of Tri-State Wrestling (and later Eastern Championship Wrestling aka “ECW”) and lead his “WHACK PACK” of wrestling monstrosities, freaks and weirdos. In XPW Remixed canon, that collection of oddities also included THE FRENCH ANGEL (1941).
The French Angel is far from local, but Maurice Tillet (the Angel’s government name) is a closely-revered Boston area legend. Tillet was already a blossoming pro wrestling star in France and Europe, but WWII forced him to vacate his country and migrate to the United States. It was in good ‘ol Boston MA that legendary promoter Paul Bowser pushed the French Angel as a main event draw. In Boston during the early ‘40s, The French Angel was unstoppable. The Goldberg of his day, Angel went undefeated for almost 24 months and captured the (Boston area) World Championship two times (with one reign lasting two years!!!) He had a fall from glory however, as his health (and physical features) continued to rapidly deteriorate. He was driven from the main even limelight into the bowels of fantasy wrestling, forced to hide his hideous face under a mask in shame. That’s where he was scooped up off the floor like stale dung by the manipulative former-Dungeon Master TONY RUMBLE and indoctrinated into his WHACK PACK program… Rumble used and abused the masked Angel, running up a similar undefeated streak and striking fear into the heart of his Whack Pack opponents. But Rumble pushed his luck, and pushed his prized race horse around the track until he broke.
French Angel lost a “Mask versus Mask” match to Nick Gage at “(Another) New Years Revolution” and his life was thrown into shambles. But right at his lowest point, French Angel was gifted with a flower drop from the heavens. Young, vivacious Whack Pack valet Sammi Lane began to see French Angel for what he truly was (a beautiful, tortured soul) and reached out to him – kick-starting a connection that would draw Angel back into the XPW Remixed ring. But their unity was frowned upon by Tony Rumble, who seeks to destroy them both once and for all with this match. If Tony Rumble wins tonight against the Angel, not only does he keep Sammi Lane’s performers contract as part of his Whack Pack stable… he banishes French Angel from XPW Remixed for good! What’s Sammi’s connection to the local scene? She first caught my eye performing for New England Championship Wrestling, that used to a have a show on Comcast OnDemand out here a few summers ago. I’ve seen her perform locally and I’ve always liked her. Plus I think she’s a very beautiful girl. And tonight, she is the prized inspiration for which both of these men seek to do battle!
FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane) versus
versus
XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele opens up the next segment in the ring, alongside his secretary Jasmine St. Claire… the Havana Pitbulls are already in the ring, ready for action… hype, hype, hype from Steele… this is the big one… ladies and gentleman, introducing THE FABULOUS KANGAROOS!!! Much pomp and circumstance is made of their triumphant entrance… complete with Australian music and costumed natives… they even have little toy boomerangs for all the kids… their glad-handing, smiling entrance just reeks of fakeness as an American flag waves proudly next to the Australian flag they also carry… instantly you recognize this is Kurt Angle 1999 / Fabulous Rougeou Bros 1989 kind of heat, with the un-American Kangaroos pretending to love America SOOO much it’s unbearable and obnoxious… crowd immediately sees through their façade and boos them mercilessly… the Fab Kangs never mind that though, and continue to play the role of “baby-faces”… even though they cheat, whine and complain to the ref! Competitive squash as the Pitbulls do their thing and get some offense, but match is obviously just a showcase for the debuting Fab Kangs who run a quick interference scheme that earns them a tainted pinfall victory. The Fab Kangs celebrate in gloriously exaggerated fashion like they just won the world titles… they have the mic and through thick Australian accents show their appreciation for America (booo!), show their love for XPW Remixed (booo!) and introduce their new manager and the man who helped bring them here… “WILD” RED BERRY!!! He’s back again with another managerial coup! And he’s just added the newest and hottest tag team to his ranks!!!
Winners: FABULOUS KANGAROOS
** CUT **
______________________________________________________________
"BOSTON'z FINEST"
Here’s a little local flavor for you, stirred up in a giant bean pot. “International Championship Wrestling” (IWC) was founded in the early-mid ‘80s and based out of the New England region. It helped capitalize on a pro wrestling craze that was engulfing the world, and turned out many local fanatics. One of those local yokels was a young Tony Rumble – yet another in a long line of lifelong wrestling fans (like Mick Foley) who loved the business so much they couldn’t help but get involved. From sneaking into Boston Garden shows as a kid, to joining the newly-minted ICW as practically a backyard wrestler, young Tony Rumble just had to be a part of the scene. Just like XPW Original opening in LA and showcasing much of the local talent, IWC did that for the 80’s/90s Boston area. In ring, Tony Rumble was a jobber – getting pummeled by the likes of Abdullah the Butcher, Bruiser Brody, Kevin Sullivan and “Superstar” Billy Graham. In 1986 he formed a tag team called “The Boston Bad Boys” (a name that would stick with Tony during his solo run) that had a brief run of glory (climaxing with an ICW TV taping match versus the 1986 Midnight Rockers (Michaels & Jannetty) during the ICW/AWA “merger”). Rumble’s runs as a wrestler (also including the masked “Dungeon Master”) didn’t propel him to main events, but his brain and passion for the business never waned. He worked his way up to an ICW booker and manager, and some of his ideas and creations were said to have inspired Paul Heyman years later when he expanded ECW. As a manager, Rumble really found his niche – leading Tony Atlas to the ICW Championship and a young Tazmaniac (aka ECW Taz) to the ICW Light Heavyweight title. Later on Rumble would create the CWA (Century Wrestling Alliance) an earlier precursor of Tri-State Wrestling (and later Eastern Championship Wrestling aka “ECW”) and lead his “WHACK PACK” of wrestling monstrosities, freaks and weirdos. In XPW Remixed canon, that collection of oddities also included THE FRENCH ANGEL (1941).
The French Angel is far from local, but Maurice Tillet (the Angel’s government name) is a closely-revered Boston area legend. Tillet was already a blossoming pro wrestling star in France and Europe, but WWII forced him to vacate his country and migrate to the United States. It was in good ‘ol Boston MA that legendary promoter Paul Bowser pushed the French Angel as a main event draw. In Boston during the early ‘40s, The French Angel was unstoppable. The Goldberg of his day, Angel went undefeated for almost 24 months and captured the (Boston area) World Championship two times (with one reign lasting two years!!!) He had a fall from glory however, as his health (and physical features) continued to rapidly deteriorate. He was driven from the main even limelight into the bowels of fantasy wrestling, forced to hide his hideous face under a mask in shame. That’s where he was scooped up off the floor like stale dung by the manipulative former-Dungeon Master TONY RUMBLE and indoctrinated into his WHACK PACK program… Rumble used and abused the masked Angel, running up a similar undefeated streak and striking fear into the heart of his Whack Pack opponents. But Rumble pushed his luck, and pushed his prized race horse around the track until he broke.
French Angel lost a “Mask versus Mask” match to Nick Gage at “(Another) New Years Revolution” and his life was thrown into shambles. But right at his lowest point, French Angel was gifted with a flower drop from the heavens. Young, vivacious Whack Pack valet Sammi Lane began to see French Angel for what he truly was (a beautiful, tortured soul) and reached out to him – kick-starting a connection that would draw Angel back into the XPW Remixed ring. But their unity was frowned upon by Tony Rumble, who seeks to destroy them both once and for all with this match. If Tony Rumble wins tonight against the Angel, not only does he keep Sammi Lane’s performers contract as part of his Whack Pack stable… he banishes French Angel from XPW Remixed for good! What’s Sammi’s connection to the local scene? She first caught my eye performing for New England Championship Wrestling, that used to a have a show on Comcast OnDemand out here a few summers ago. I’ve seen her perform locally and I’ve always liked her. Plus I think she’s a very beautiful girl. And tonight, she is the prized inspiration for which both of these men seek to do battle!
FRENCH ANGEL (w/ Sammi Lane) versus
"Boston Bad Boy" TONY RUMBLE
w/ versus
French Angel enters with Sammi Lane first… Tony Rumble comes out next but seems somewhat hesitant to get in the ring… he’s just hanging out on the stage, cussing at Angel and flipping off the fans… Eventually French Angel gets tired of waiting for him and lops up the entrance ramp like a scary beast to get Rumble! Tony sees him coming and turns to run away! But when French Angel reaches the curtain he is BLINDSIDED by a sick Mondo Kleen clothesline that nearly takes his head off! Referees and security scramble to remove Mondo Kleen, but the damage has been done… French Angel is down, and NOW Rumble has returned (with a smirk) to finish what he started. Rumble is punching French Angel toward the edge of the stage then winds up for one more shot but Angel blocks it and fights back! Both guys brawl down the ramp when French Angel rams Rumble into the steps before throwing him in the ring and the bell finally sounds to start this match.
French Angel whips Rumble and hits a boot as we get a shot of Sammi Lane watching on intently from ringside… Angel works Rumble over in a corner then gorilla-whips him into the opposite set of buckles and connects with a clothesline… Rumble rolls out to the floor to try and regroup but French Angel goes after him and rams him into the announce table… French Angel rolls Rumble back in the ring, but the “Boston Bad Boy” legdrops him as he climbs in and finally gets in some offense… French Angel tries to fight back but Rumble regains control, and now Sammi Lane is fretting… . Rumble taunts her from inside the ring… Tony Rumble removes his belt and whips French Angel like a dog! Sammi Lane cries out for him to stop, but it just makes him whip Angel harder… But Angel turns around to grab Rumble around the throat and fight back to his feet! Crowd cheering the Angel’s surge!… but Tony Rumble low-blows his way out of the choke slam, and takes back over… Angel is reeling…
Rumble stomps French Angel down in a corner, but stops to taunt Sammi Lane… when she hops up on the apron to confront Rumble, he grabs her by the hair! This ENRAGES Angel who comes storming back!!! Angel takes Rumble’s head off with a clothesline!… ground and pound!… belly-to-belly suplex! French Angel is treating Tony Rumble like a rag doll!!! Running back splash in a corner but French Angel sidesteps it and nails him with a clothesline! French Angel hulks up! As Rumble staggers to his feet, Angel scoops him up into a thunderous power bomb - stretches him HIGH over head, “Last Ride”-style… before SLAMMING Rumble to the mat with authority! 1!… 2!… 3!… French Angel has won independence for Sammi Lane and himself!!! The two embrace in the center of the ring, and he hoists her on his shoulder, Macho Man & Elizabeth style! Fans cheer the victory!
Winner: FRENCH ANGEL
_____________________________________________________________
”DIAMONDS ARE STILL FOREVER”
Multi-million dollar TV entrance for the Diamond Dynasty… even though they went 0 – 3 at “MBVII” (and Matt Morgan enters tonight obviously wincing in pain from his taped ribs) they still carry themselves with impeccable swagger… they take the ring for a group promo, kick-started by “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers himself… he downplays his loss @ “MBVII”… big ups his Dynasty conglomerate… and even shoots on the dissolution of WCW in the Territory Wars, quipping “the Dynasty’s diamonds truly are forever!”… but when Buddy Rogers starts getting down to the business of addressing Lou Thesz for another title shot, they’re all cut off by “Domination”! Enter BIG EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!
ALEX RILEY (w/ Missy Hyatt) versus EZEKIEL JACKSON
w/ versus
Little talk, all action… Big Zeke rushes the ring… an injured Matt Morgan wants NO part of him… Buddy Rogers recoils and Missy Hyatt flees… that just leaves the young protégé Alex Riley alone in the ring… he quickly looks around, realizes he’s alone, and flies into action… but Jackson just runs through him like a brick wall, planting him with a shoulder block… quick squash from there that ends with Alex Riley screaming for mercy in Big Zeke’s Torture Rack backbreaker!!! Jackson – still raging – grabs a mic and has two simple words for “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers… “YOU’RE NEXT!!!!” Crowd roars! Zeke pounds his chest!!! Rogers holds his own chest in fear!!!
Winner (by submission): EZEKIEL JACKSON
** CUT TO COMMERICAL **
_____________________________________________________________
** XPW Television Championship **
THE MIZ versus MATT MORGAN
versus
Back from commercial, and the Dynasty is still in the ring... they continue to rant and rave about injustices, particularly Big Matt Morgan (who is still nursing injured ribs from his MBVII match with Jackson)… they are cut off by the patronizing golf clap and theme song of XPW TV Champion the MIZ! He duels with Morgan on the mic to the crowds approval… he’s still the same cocky, devilish dick, but when his verbal barbs are pointed at other heels the fans really dig Miz… He winds up cajoling Morgan into a match by offering to put his TV title on the line… but it’s just further humiliation for the Dynasty, as Jackson reappears out of nowhere to go after Buddy Rogers again… everyone is sent scrambling… and Miz winds up hitting a Skull Crushing finale on Morgan (while standing on the second turnbuckle to reach him!) It’s over in less than 30 seconds! Just like Miz planned it! His eyes gleam with satisfaction as he hoists his XPW TV title high in the air, and his former employers rant, rave and pull their hair out…
Winner (and STILL XPW Television champion): THE MIZ
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
(REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING (w/ Jessica Darlin)
Versus
INSANE CLOWN POSSE
w/ versus
Less of a match and more of an Xtreme beat down… (Real) KoW catch the Juggalo Ninjas (Necro Butcher & MadMan Pondo) backstage and the brawl begins… KoW wind up getting the jump on the Ninjas… pulverizing them… and sealing them in a dumpster and rolling it off a loading dock… they then get their hands on the Insane Clown Posse and kick their asses all the way through the entrance curtains… down the ramp.. And into the ring, all while the crowd goes crazy… Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter disgrace and humiliate the clowns - smashing them into pieces, drowning them in cheap Faygo soda and performing their DWI-like tag team finisher! They each pin one of the clowns with a foot on their chest, while Jessica Darlin makes the 3-count… the (Real) KoW pose and preen while Jessica Darlin shakes up bottles of Faygo, letting them explode all over her, creating a wet T-shirt effect… ICP is dead.
Winners: (REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING
Jessica Darlin
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________
** MAIN EVENT **
SAMOA JOE vs. BRUNO SAMMARTINO vs. JOHN CENA vs. SHEAMUS
(Fatal 4-Way #1 Contenders Match)
versus versus versus
Everybody gangs up on Samoa Joe quickly, but Joe turns around and takes out Sheamus & Bruno - picking them apart with brutal strikes… this leaves Cena & Joe, but Cena muscles out of a suplex attempt and tosses Joe overhead in a raw burst of strength!… Sammartino tries for a sleeper hold from behind, but Cena throws him off… Samoa Joe misses a running kick to Sheamus, and eats a Brogue Kick from the Celtic Warrior in return! The action continues like this hot and heavy, back and forth, all through to commercial break… At one point, a series of finishers from each man leads to Cena planting Samoa Joe with a stiff FU in the center of the ring… only to have an angry and bitter JINDER MAHAL show up on the entrance ramp to curse at Cena (in Punjabi)!!!
But with Mahal’s distraction, Cena doesn’t see the brick wall of GREAT GAMA behind him until it’s too late! The savage, prehistoric warrior of Mahal’s Evil Empire takes Cena out with a clothesline to the back of the head… when Cena crashes in a heap on the floor, both Gama & Mahal put the boots to him… SWINGING FULL NELSON NECKBREAKER from Great Gama! He’s whirling a defenseless Cena around like a helicopter blade!!! The match continues inside the ring with Bruno, Joe & Sheamus…Sheamus is in control, when suddenly - WILD RED BERRY shows up on the ring apron to taunt him! Sheamus halts his assault to focus on the manager, when none other than former friend BAM BAM BIGELOW ambushes Sheamus from behind! The tattooed behemoth has a look of rage etched upon his face as he dismantles Sheamus - his manager Wild Red Berry sets up a table - and Bam Bam Bigelow DRIVES Sheamus through it!!! He and his manager pose over Sheamus’ body and table debris, yelling in his face that Bigelow doesn’t play 2nd fiddle to anybody!!!
Back in the ring, Bruno eats a boot from Joe but recovers, and spins Joe around for a German suplex… two count… Sammartino tries for the Gutwrench Powerbomb on Joe, but Joe lowblows out - catches Bruno‘s legs - and pulls him out of the ring… Joe slams Bruno into the announcer's table… Samoa Joe talks a lot of angry trash, and dropkicks the ringsteps into Bruno’s knee, then uses the ringpost to smash Bruno’s head… Back in the ring, Joe goes for the rolling senton but Bruno moves at the last second and winds up catching Joe with a lightning quick roll-up!!! 123!!! Bruno has pinned Joe! Samoa Joe is INCREDULOUS!!! He wants to attack Bruno to regain his heat, but both men wind up dueling with steel chairs before Bruno disarms Joe and sends him retreating from the ring!!! Bruno angrily swings the chair about, keeping Joe outside the ring where he just stares daggers through Bruno as he makes his way back up the ramp…
Winner (and #1 Contender): BRUNO SAMMARTINO
Bruno takes plenty of time to celebrate with the fans, then finally takes a bow at the top of the ramp… He is greeted onstage by MSD (with a mic) and reigning XPW Remixed champion Lou Thesz, who makes the challenge official… MSD asks Bruno & Thesz about the chaos of the main event tonight, and Thesz says that they've made enemies out of the entire XPW locker room… now it‘s "us versus them"… Thesz says his match with Bruno @ the Fallout Festival will be about honor and respect… Bruno says they're ready for whoever to show up, and if they do, they will stand united… but at the Fallout Festival, Thesz & Sammartino will end the decades-long debate between them for good… asked about leaving as the champion at the Fallout Festival PPV, Thesz says anything can happen, but he's not going out there to lose, "Whoever walks out of there as champion is going to have to earn it." Both men shake hands and Thesz holds up the championship belt! Crowds cheer as both men eye the prize…
LOU THESZ: This is the first I have heard of Bruno in years. We did the same autograph signing in NY about 10-12 years ago, but he never spoke to any of the the rest of us athletes. Bruno was in a room alone and Buddy Rogers and I were out with everyone else at a table together. In all fairness to Bruno, he was part of a strange organization, and it obviously had an effect on him. I wasn't bright enough to deal with them, but I was lucky I never had to... but at the "Fallout Festival" I'm looking forward to settling this grudge with Bruno once and for all! This is the season for sportsmanship in Fantasy Wrestling!!!
** FADE OUT **
________________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed presents...
FALLOUT FESTIVAL
A revolutionary two-night event that will blow the mind of all fantasy wrestling fans... a real life Wrestling Woodstock...BRACE YOURSELF!!!
** XPW Remixed Championship **
Lou Thesz vs Bruno Sammartino
Chyna (w/ Lizzy Borden) versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)
_____________________________________________________________
CREDITS:
"WILD" RED BERRY: SLAM! Sports article (Thu, June 3, 2010)
LOU THESZ: Wrestlingclassics.com messageboard (Lou Thesz forum)
w/ versus
French Angel enters with Sammi Lane first… Tony Rumble comes out next but seems somewhat hesitant to get in the ring… he’s just hanging out on the stage, cussing at Angel and flipping off the fans… Eventually French Angel gets tired of waiting for him and lops up the entrance ramp like a scary beast to get Rumble! Tony sees him coming and turns to run away! But when French Angel reaches the curtain he is BLINDSIDED by a sick Mondo Kleen clothesline that nearly takes his head off! Referees and security scramble to remove Mondo Kleen, but the damage has been done… French Angel is down, and NOW Rumble has returned (with a smirk) to finish what he started. Rumble is punching French Angel toward the edge of the stage then winds up for one more shot but Angel blocks it and fights back! Both guys brawl down the ramp when French Angel rams Rumble into the steps before throwing him in the ring and the bell finally sounds to start this match.
French Angel whips Rumble and hits a boot as we get a shot of Sammi Lane watching on intently from ringside… Angel works Rumble over in a corner then gorilla-whips him into the opposite set of buckles and connects with a clothesline… Rumble rolls out to the floor to try and regroup but French Angel goes after him and rams him into the announce table… French Angel rolls Rumble back in the ring, but the “Boston Bad Boy” legdrops him as he climbs in and finally gets in some offense… French Angel tries to fight back but Rumble regains control, and now Sammi Lane is fretting… . Rumble taunts her from inside the ring… Tony Rumble removes his belt and whips French Angel like a dog! Sammi Lane cries out for him to stop, but it just makes him whip Angel harder… But Angel turns around to grab Rumble around the throat and fight back to his feet! Crowd cheering the Angel’s surge!… but Tony Rumble low-blows his way out of the choke slam, and takes back over… Angel is reeling…
Rumble stomps French Angel down in a corner, but stops to taunt Sammi Lane… when she hops up on the apron to confront Rumble, he grabs her by the hair! This ENRAGES Angel who comes storming back!!! Angel takes Rumble’s head off with a clothesline!… ground and pound!… belly-to-belly suplex! French Angel is treating Tony Rumble like a rag doll!!! Running back splash in a corner but French Angel sidesteps it and nails him with a clothesline! French Angel hulks up! As Rumble staggers to his feet, Angel scoops him up into a thunderous power bomb - stretches him HIGH over head, “Last Ride”-style… before SLAMMING Rumble to the mat with authority! 1!… 2!… 3!… French Angel has won independence for Sammi Lane and himself!!! The two embrace in the center of the ring, and he hoists her on his shoulder, Macho Man & Elizabeth style! Fans cheer the victory!
Winner: FRENCH ANGEL
_____________________________________________________________
”DIAMONDS ARE STILL FOREVER”
Multi-million dollar TV entrance for the Diamond Dynasty… even though they went 0 – 3 at “MBVII” (and Matt Morgan enters tonight obviously wincing in pain from his taped ribs) they still carry themselves with impeccable swagger… they take the ring for a group promo, kick-started by “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers himself… he downplays his loss @ “MBVII”… big ups his Dynasty conglomerate… and even shoots on the dissolution of WCW in the Territory Wars, quipping “the Dynasty’s diamonds truly are forever!”… but when Buddy Rogers starts getting down to the business of addressing Lou Thesz for another title shot, they’re all cut off by “Domination”! Enter BIG EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!
ALEX RILEY (w/ Missy Hyatt) versus EZEKIEL JACKSON
w/ versus
Little talk, all action… Big Zeke rushes the ring… an injured Matt Morgan wants NO part of him… Buddy Rogers recoils and Missy Hyatt flees… that just leaves the young protégé Alex Riley alone in the ring… he quickly looks around, realizes he’s alone, and flies into action… but Jackson just runs through him like a brick wall, planting him with a shoulder block… quick squash from there that ends with Alex Riley screaming for mercy in Big Zeke’s Torture Rack backbreaker!!! Jackson – still raging – grabs a mic and has two simple words for “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers… “YOU’RE NEXT!!!!” Crowd roars! Zeke pounds his chest!!! Rogers holds his own chest in fear!!!
Winner (by submission): EZEKIEL JACKSON
** CUT TO COMMERICAL **
_____________________________________________________________
** XPW Television Championship **
THE MIZ versus MATT MORGAN
versus
Back from commercial, and the Dynasty is still in the ring... they continue to rant and rave about injustices, particularly Big Matt Morgan (who is still nursing injured ribs from his MBVII match with Jackson)… they are cut off by the patronizing golf clap and theme song of XPW TV Champion the MIZ! He duels with Morgan on the mic to the crowds approval… he’s still the same cocky, devilish dick, but when his verbal barbs are pointed at other heels the fans really dig Miz… He winds up cajoling Morgan into a match by offering to put his TV title on the line… but it’s just further humiliation for the Dynasty, as Jackson reappears out of nowhere to go after Buddy Rogers again… everyone is sent scrambling… and Miz winds up hitting a Skull Crushing finale on Morgan (while standing on the second turnbuckle to reach him!) It’s over in less than 30 seconds! Just like Miz planned it! His eyes gleam with satisfaction as he hoists his XPW TV title high in the air, and his former employers rant, rave and pull their hair out…
Winner (and STILL XPW Television champion): THE MIZ
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
(REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING (w/ Jessica Darlin)
Versus
INSANE CLOWN POSSE
w/ versus
Less of a match and more of an Xtreme beat down… (Real) KoW catch the Juggalo Ninjas (Necro Butcher & MadMan Pondo) backstage and the brawl begins… KoW wind up getting the jump on the Ninjas… pulverizing them… and sealing them in a dumpster and rolling it off a loading dock… they then get their hands on the Insane Clown Posse and kick their asses all the way through the entrance curtains… down the ramp.. And into the ring, all while the crowd goes crazy… Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter disgrace and humiliate the clowns - smashing them into pieces, drowning them in cheap Faygo soda and performing their DWI-like tag team finisher! They each pin one of the clowns with a foot on their chest, while Jessica Darlin makes the 3-count… the (Real) KoW pose and preen while Jessica Darlin shakes up bottles of Faygo, letting them explode all over her, creating a wet T-shirt effect… ICP is dead.
Winners: (REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING
Jessica Darlin
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________
** MAIN EVENT **
SAMOA JOE vs. BRUNO SAMMARTINO vs. JOHN CENA vs. SHEAMUS
(Fatal 4-Way #1 Contenders Match)
versus versus versus
Everybody gangs up on Samoa Joe quickly, but Joe turns around and takes out Sheamus & Bruno - picking them apart with brutal strikes… this leaves Cena & Joe, but Cena muscles out of a suplex attempt and tosses Joe overhead in a raw burst of strength!… Sammartino tries for a sleeper hold from behind, but Cena throws him off… Samoa Joe misses a running kick to Sheamus, and eats a Brogue Kick from the Celtic Warrior in return! The action continues like this hot and heavy, back and forth, all through to commercial break… At one point, a series of finishers from each man leads to Cena planting Samoa Joe with a stiff FU in the center of the ring… only to have an angry and bitter JINDER MAHAL show up on the entrance ramp to curse at Cena (in Punjabi)!!!
But with Mahal’s distraction, Cena doesn’t see the brick wall of GREAT GAMA behind him until it’s too late! The savage, prehistoric warrior of Mahal’s Evil Empire takes Cena out with a clothesline to the back of the head… when Cena crashes in a heap on the floor, both Gama & Mahal put the boots to him… SWINGING FULL NELSON NECKBREAKER from Great Gama! He’s whirling a defenseless Cena around like a helicopter blade!!! The match continues inside the ring with Bruno, Joe & Sheamus…Sheamus is in control, when suddenly - WILD RED BERRY shows up on the ring apron to taunt him! Sheamus halts his assault to focus on the manager, when none other than former friend BAM BAM BIGELOW ambushes Sheamus from behind! The tattooed behemoth has a look of rage etched upon his face as he dismantles Sheamus - his manager Wild Red Berry sets up a table - and Bam Bam Bigelow DRIVES Sheamus through it!!! He and his manager pose over Sheamus’ body and table debris, yelling in his face that Bigelow doesn’t play 2nd fiddle to anybody!!!
Back in the ring, Bruno eats a boot from Joe but recovers, and spins Joe around for a German suplex… two count… Sammartino tries for the Gutwrench Powerbomb on Joe, but Joe lowblows out - catches Bruno‘s legs - and pulls him out of the ring… Joe slams Bruno into the announcer's table… Samoa Joe talks a lot of angry trash, and dropkicks the ringsteps into Bruno’s knee, then uses the ringpost to smash Bruno’s head… Back in the ring, Joe goes for the rolling senton but Bruno moves at the last second and winds up catching Joe with a lightning quick roll-up!!! 123!!! Bruno has pinned Joe! Samoa Joe is INCREDULOUS!!! He wants to attack Bruno to regain his heat, but both men wind up dueling with steel chairs before Bruno disarms Joe and sends him retreating from the ring!!! Bruno angrily swings the chair about, keeping Joe outside the ring where he just stares daggers through Bruno as he makes his way back up the ramp…
Winner (and #1 Contender): BRUNO SAMMARTINO
Bruno takes plenty of time to celebrate with the fans, then finally takes a bow at the top of the ramp… He is greeted onstage by MSD (with a mic) and reigning XPW Remixed champion Lou Thesz, who makes the challenge official… MSD asks Bruno & Thesz about the chaos of the main event tonight, and Thesz says that they've made enemies out of the entire XPW locker room… now it‘s "us versus them"… Thesz says his match with Bruno @ the Fallout Festival will be about honor and respect… Bruno says they're ready for whoever to show up, and if they do, they will stand united… but at the Fallout Festival, Thesz & Sammartino will end the decades-long debate between them for good… asked about leaving as the champion at the Fallout Festival PPV, Thesz says anything can happen, but he's not going out there to lose, "Whoever walks out of there as champion is going to have to earn it." Both men shake hands and Thesz holds up the championship belt! Crowds cheer as both men eye the prize…
LOU THESZ: This is the first I have heard of Bruno in years. We did the same autograph signing in NY about 10-12 years ago, but he never spoke to any of the the rest of us athletes. Bruno was in a room alone and Buddy Rogers and I were out with everyone else at a table together. In all fairness to Bruno, he was part of a strange organization, and it obviously had an effect on him. I wasn't bright enough to deal with them, but I was lucky I never had to... but at the "Fallout Festival" I'm looking forward to settling this grudge with Bruno once and for all! This is the season for sportsmanship in Fantasy Wrestling!!!
** FADE OUT **
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XPW Remixed presents...
FALLOUT FESTIVAL
A revolutionary two-night event that will blow the mind of all fantasy wrestling fans... a real life Wrestling Woodstock...BRACE YOURSELF!!!
** XPW Remixed Championship **
Lou Thesz vs Bruno Sammartino
Chyna (w/ Lizzy Borden) versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)
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CREDITS:
"WILD" RED BERRY: SLAM! Sports article (Thu, June 3, 2010)
LOU THESZ: Wrestlingclassics.com messageboard (Lou Thesz forum)