Post by MadStepDad on Oct 19, 2011 10:39:09 GMT -5
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
XPW Remixed presents...
"HALLOWEEN in HELL"!!!!
Coming Halloween Night 2011!!!!
Officially sponsored by...
GORDON SOLIE: I got some news for you, there were a hell of a lot of wrestlers who started their career that didn't know anything about it ["Ravenloft"]. You'd be amazed because either so many of these fellows are still in the sport or are still around, I certainly don't want to mention any names but I know of a lot of wrestlers who stepped into the ring, that had never had a professional match before and they couldn't win to save their lives simply because they weren't good enough to win. There's an awful lot of guys that broke into this business the hard way. On Halloween Night, the hard way comes to XPW Remixed and nothing will be the same again.
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** FADE IN **
The Grand Wizard & Jack Pfefer - members of "The Commission"
** TGW and Jack Pfefer are besieged by a frantic and angry “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers. He DEMANDS they do something about Ezekiel Jackson’s challenge to him (see XPW TV Episode #26) last week. TGW & Pfefer placate their prized champion, and assure him matters will be dealt with tonight. Ezekiel Jackson has earned his way into title contendership, but it comes with a twist. Tonight - Ezekiel Jackson will face Terry Funk in a no-holds-barred fight for the #1 Contenders slot! But the special referee for the bout will be none other than... "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers himself!!! Co-main event TONIGHT!!! **
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NEW JACK & POGO the CLOWN throw a “HALLOWEEN in HELL” Tailgate Party
** New Jack and Pogo the Clown greet you from the back of a Pick-up truck with grills steaming, girls in G-Strings, beers, blunt smoke and loud music. New Jack cuts a promo hyping up the PPV and also has a few violently-funny remarks for the preppy pretty-boy Diamond Dynasty chumps Jack Swagger & Alex Riley (who New Jack & Pogo have been beefing with recently). All the while Pogo the Clown looms menacingly in the background, a burner clearly tucked in his waistline. “Halloween in Hell” coming soon!!!**
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Meanwhile, outside the arena...
Scene opens upon a bon-fire setting in the woods, directly behind the building hosting tonight’s XPW TV Episode. Here, “Vicious” Vic Grimes and his evil Cannibal Cartel cohorts hold court. With flames dancing menacingly in the background, and the flesh-eating Headhunters weaving back and forth – “Sick” Nick Mondo films the following promo. Grimes leers closely into the camera and promises all kinds of doom and gloom for Bruno Sammartino. Just then, fellow Cannibal Cartel member IAN ROTTEN rolls into the scene in a banged up Ford Taurus. He hollers out the window at Grimes, letting him know “it’s finished”. With that statement, the Cannibal Cartel’s reign of terror will begin. Grimes and his boys stomp off into the arena to begin their siege…
Ian Rotten and his Ford Taurus
** CUT TO RING **
Militant Cannibal Cartel in-ring promo to start the segment. The ring ropes are replaced by strands of barbed wire, and various weaponry (chairs, tacked-bats and panes of glass) surround the ring cutting an ill, scary visual. “Vicious” Vic Grimes stands in the front – black murder gloves, black scully cap over his head and King of the Death Match championship around his waist. His Headhunterz, “Sick” Nick Mondo and Ian Rotten stand behind him as he unleashes a profanity-laced tirade on the house mic. Pro-West Coast, anti-Bruno Sammartino, all horrible and threatening. He fed on Sammartino’s old school pride in order to draw him into this rematch – LIVE from Grimes’ house of horrors… an EXPLODING RING MATCH! The first in Territory Wars history! Tonight, Bruno Sammartino, “The CEO of Hardcore” Vic Grimes has a little message for you. Starting with another display of Cannibal Cartel savagery! Video cut to the career-ending beatdown JC Bailey suffered at the hands of the Cartel on XPW TV Episode #26. Bring on the next victim!!!!
Cue “Monkey See Monkey Do” by Eminem…
Enter “The Crazy Monkey” JUN KASAI!!!
”VICIOUS” VIC GRIMES © versus JUN KASAI
(King of the Death Match Championship)
versus
Brief history lesson from Solie & Striker on commentary, regarding the never-ending Grimes/Kasai blood feud. The Cartel targeted Kasai for elimination in the summer, leading up to a brutal kidnapping/beating of Kasai’s mentor ONITA and climaxing in a historic 45-foot scaffold match at “BAPTIZED IN BLOOD” where Vic Grimes beat Kasai for the KotDM championship. Kasai was out of action for a while after being pitched off the scaffold onto a stack of burning tables. Since his return, the Crazy Monkey has been itching for this very moment. The wild, Japanese madman enters with baggy cargo pants (with stapled-on monkey tail), goggles and two fluorescent light tubes he wields like swords. He races to the ring, slides under the barbed wire strands, and he and Grimes engage in fisticuffs! We’re off! Pound-for-pound, probably the wildest Death Match ever seen on free XPW TV (keep in mind the late air time of the show) with gore, debris and bludgeoning galore. While the camera doesn’t do the extreme close-ups on jagged body wounds like it usually does, you can still see the blood pour down Kasai’s bare back after he’s whipped into the barbed wire strands. Brutal stuff with each man giving it his all, but Grimes’ just proves to be too big too much for the Crazy Monkey this go around. At the end, a brief attempt at interference by Ian Rotten is thwarted by Kasai himself with a light-tube crescent kick – but when the Crazy Monkey scales the top turnbuckle and puts on his goggles for his Kamikaze dive… none other than his mentor ATSUSHI ONITA runs in to push Kasai off the top rope! Kasai crashes through a ringside wooden table lined with barbed wire, as his former mentor ONITA (now being serenaded with boos by the angry audience) grins wickedly with satisfaction.
A top rope Superfly-splash from the near 400-lb Grimes off the top rope (sandwiching Kasai’s body between the ring, a steel chair and a bundle of fluorescent light tubes) ends the match for good. Vic Grimes is left holding his arms aloft in victory – KotDM belt held proudly over head – blood streaming down his face – with his Cartel goons behind him. Meanwhile, Striker and Solie wonder aloud about Onita’s decision to sabotage Kasai at the end (see XPW TV Episode #26, the Battle Royal, for Onita’s motivation to betray Kasai).
Winner (and STILL KotDM Champion): “VICIOUS” VIC GRIMES
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
Meanwhile, from the rafters a figure lurks in the shadows, staring down upon the ring and Cartel with unknown intentions...
** CUT **
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XPW Remixed Wrestler Chris Cash passes away at the age of 23
XPW REMIXED MOURNS ONE OF THE FAMILY - CHRIS CA$H PASSES AWAY
Chri$ Ca$h - Christopher Bauman Jr. passed away after being involved in a motorcycle accident near his home in South Jersey. On behalf of the XPW Remixed family we would like to send our condolences to the Bauman family who are mourning Chris as are we. The thoughts and prayers of the XPW Remixed family are with them and those of Mash-Up Wrestling fans also are.
Here's more on the story from Philly.com
"Two cousins riding on a motorcycle and the driver of a car have been killed in a collision in Glassboro, police said today.
The Gloucester County Prosecutors Office said the motorcycle was on Ellis Street when a Ford Taurus turned in front of it from Higgins Drive at about 9:15 pm.
The motorcycle struck the car on the driver's side.
Dead at the scene was Jeremy Bauman, 27, of Franklinville, the driver of the motorcycle, and his cousin Christopher J. Bauman Jr., 23, of Sewell.
The car's driver is unknown."
** Credit to The Philadelphia Enquirer
The Dark Passenger prays for our loss...
** FADE OUT **
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SAMI CALLIHAN (w/ Jessica Darlin) versus
PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER (w/ Austin Idol)
w/ versus w/
A blast from the FUTURE here in XPW Remixed, as the “New Horror” Sami Callihan clashes with the savior of Impact Wrestling PHIL SHATTER. The feud between the Switchblade Conspiracy (Sami’s crew) and the REAL Kings of Wrestling (Shatter’s tag team with Idol) has been brewing for a while, with each team elbowing each other in the face in an effort to climb the tag team ranks. It really blew up at “RETRIBUTION” when Jessica Darlin’s interference hindered the REAL KoW, and they responded in kind by interfering in Switchblade Conspiracy’s match last week (see XPW TV Episode #26). Really exciting power-based match, that finds Shatter on the winning end of most of their exchanges. Sami wears him down with submission attempts, but Phil Shatter is just a physical freak of nature. In the end, the ditzy Jessica Darlin tries to interfere, but winds up getting her tiny skirt ripped off by Austin Idol outside the ring (to huge cheers) and grabbed up in a masculine embrace. Austin Idol plants a wet one right on Jessica Darlin’s smoocher! He leaves her on the ringside mat, mind blown, while the tanned muscle man (circa 1987) flexes and poses for the crowd. It’s clear from Darlin’s vacant, stunned expression that she… liked (?) the amorous advance () Regardless, the counter-distraction is enough for Phil Shatter to reverse a Callihan submission attempt into a spinning F5 for the victory! Clean 1-2-3 in the center of the ring! The (REAL) Kings of Wrestling pose for the crowd, while Callihan, Darlin (and now Jon Moxley) angrily congregate and regroup outside the ring.
Winner: PHIL “GUNNER” SHATTER
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** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
In the BLKOut locker room with tag champions Ruckus & Sabian (BLKOut), the “Future of Hardcore” Nick Gage and the seductive hood chick Annie Social (replete with stylish WWF Lita circa 2001 gear, including low hanging cargo pants and protruding thong) – MSD invokes a quick Q&A from the team. No sooner has Gage begun one of his passionate monologues, when the team is suddenly – and brazenly – approached by Matt & Nick Jackson… Generation ME!!! Gage falls silent in mock amazement while Gen ME patronizes XPW Remixed tag team champion BLKOut (Generation ME won a #1 contenders match at “RETRIBUTION”), drawing the tag team out of their locker room and into the hallway. Before Sabian & Ruckus (BLKOut) can retort to the condescending and sarcastic white boys… the whole BLKOut crew is suddenly ambushed from behind by THE CANNIBAL CARTEL!!!
The Headhunterz and Ian Rotten (w/ a baseball bat) take it right to the BLKOut crew while Generation ME flees (content with their role in the set-up) and Annie Social recoils in horror! Gangland-style beatdown on Ruckus, Sabian & Gage as performed by the Headhunterz & Rotten! They throw their CC’z up in the air!!! Oh my! But before permanent damage can be achieved, to the rescue comes…
BRUNO SAMMARTINO (!?!?!?)
The Italian Strongman, and XPW Remixed champion (East Coast version) goes old school! Berserker-like rage upon the Cartel is unleashed! ‘Da Brune pitches one of the gargantuan Headhunter bros through a drywall! Ian Rotten has a steel chair dented around his skull! With the Cartel forces scattered, BLKOut regroup – attack – and drive the Cartel off for good!
Cameras linger upon Sammartino and Gage, who have another face-off. Sammartino says they’re EVEN for the times BLKOut have saved the day before. They are still not allies, they just have common opponents in this war. And as a matter of fact... Nick Gage prefers it this way. Another intense man-to-man promo from Nick Gage where he pledges to give his life if necessary, to drive the Cartel off the East Coast. He knows Sammartino feels the same. But as soon as this war is over – and it will end violently at “Halloween in Hell” – Nick Gage wants Bruno to know one thing… I’M NEXT! Nick Gage wants a chance to challenge Bruno Sammartino for the championship! No acceptance, no denial, no retort. Gage and Sammartino share one last tense face-off, before Gage and crew powder out of the scene. Close-up fade out on the champions stoic expression. **
** FADE OUT **
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DANNO O’MAHONEY versus “FRANCHISE” SHANE DOUGLAS
(O’Mahoney’s Retirement Match)
versus
The lanky Irishman Danno O’Mahoney took the ring first to a pleasant ovation from the audience. In a quick pre-match mic bit, he thanks the fans for everything and uses the time to call out Dick Shikat one more time! Winner-take-all match to settle their feud right now! Crowd pops at the challenge, but instead of Shikat and “The Commission” as expected… a new theme song blasts through the arena soundsystem. Enter the NEWEST danger to XPW Remixed… The Triple Threat!!! A group of undervalued, conspiracy theorists with serious axes to grind!
“The Franchise” Shane Douglas, Chris Candido (w/ Sunny circa 1995) and the former “Mr. Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert!!!
In his favorite act, Douglas unleashes a profane tirade that drives the crowd into a cheering frenzy. He rips apart the NWA, WWE and “The Commission” before verbally degrading O’Mahoney and calling him “the phony” amongst other things. Shane’s passion, anger and disenchantment shines through with every word. By the time he slides in the ring to go face-to-face with O’Mahoney, the crowd is in a tizzy. So when Shane actually hauls off and SLAPS Danno across the face in the most disrespectful manner possible, the crowd unapologetically EXPLODES in Douglas’ favor! O’Mahoney is outraged and we’ve got ourselves a match! Danno starts off as the proverbial house a’fire - his Irish blood having been suitably boiled by Shane Douglas. But the “Franchise” bides his time, stays on the defense, and tires O’Mahoney out a bit. Then he STRIKES. Douglas outbrawls O’Mahoney and gains the advantage. But when O’Mahoney is about to make the comeback, SUNNY jumps up on the ring apron for the distraction – Candido & Eddie Gilbert pull some slight-of-hands shenanigans outside the ring – and O’Mahoney winds up in a “Pittsburgh Plunge” at the hands of Shane Douglas for the pin! The Triple Threat has made a statement in their first XPW Remixed action by sending the former Boston Wrestling champion into retirement!
Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS
Postmatch, another off-color Shane Douglas rant on the state of the business. He passes the microphone to Eddie Gilbert who unleashes his own litany of complaints, in-references and shoot comments. Complains about being overlooked and underbooked when he’s the greatest wrestling mind on the East Coast! Eddie Gilbert disputes Olympia head coach WILLIAM MULDOON’s claim to a Boston Championship match at “Halloween in Hell” (see XPW Online #4 for Muldoon’s challenge to Shikat). That shot belongs to Eddie Gilbert! So next week – the Triple Threat mean business. Eddie Gilbert challenges Muldoon one-on-one in a #1 Contenders match!!!
This decree is met with derision from the crowd… and is answered by the theme song for “The Commission!” Enter The Grand Wizard (w/ Jack Pfefer and current Boston Champion DICK SHIKAT!!!) Finally they arrive!
The Grand Wizard has the house mic, and with Pfefer and Shikat chuckling mirthlessly behind him, officially “welcomes” the Triple Threat to XPW Remixed. With the Ed Lewis/Toots Mondt management team overseeing the Shooters Club/Cali Cripplers affair and orchestrating Miz’s TV Title defense at the next PPV – by shared delegation of responsibility, that leaves the matter of the Boston Championship solely up to TGW and his “Commission”. And guess what? The Grand Wizard likes the moxie displayed by the NEW Triple Threat. He tries to diffuse and placate them by insisting their anger is misplaced. TGW and his “Commission” are NOT like those other management firms. They AREN’T JCP/NWA, the WWF or even the Gold Dust Trio Inc. TGW and his Commission are “BUSINESS MEN”. They do what’s best for the BUSINESS of professional wrestling. And what’s best for the BUSINESS of professional wrestling (especially on the East Coast) is the swift and impromptu removal of “the Solid Man” William Muldoon and his Olympia fight camp from the Territory! So here’s the deal – Eddie Gilbert, you defeat Muldoon next week on XPW TV – and you will WIN the Boston Championship belt itself!!! (after a hefty “deposit” of course, that goes directly into the Commission’s coffers) Dick Shikat and the Commission are willing to sell the Boston Championship to the Triple Threat in return for cash and Muldoon injured! In the ring, Douglas, Gilbert and Candido (w/ Sunny) all exchange intrigued looks while TGW and his boys gloat and preen for the audience. Play their music and we’re out!!! Eddie Gilbert vs William Muldoon next week, and if Gilbert wins he can buy the Boston Championship!!!
Eddie Gilbert... Next Boston Wrestling Champion???
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** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
MSD interviews the (REAL) Kings of Wrestling (Shatter & Idol), fresh off Shatter’s win over Sammi Callihan earlier in the night. Mic time for the pair however is kept to a minimum, when SUDDENLY from the shadows – they are attacked by a crowbar wielding Switchblade Conspiracy! With malice, intensity and bad intentions in their eyes – Sammi Callihan and Jon Moxley thrash and pummel the (REAL) KoW! With Jessica Darlin egging them on, they target Shatter’s knee with the crowbar and take him OUT!!! Shatter screams in pain in the background, while Moxley cuts a quick, eerily-intense close-up promo in the camera. Switchblade Conspiracy are here to stay!!!
** CUT **
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Introducing… ORVILLE BROWN!!!
We welcome proudly to the XPW Remixed fold, a veteran of the wrestling circuit and certified wrestling legend – making his Mash-Up Wrestling debut – the “MidWest Wrestling Champion” of the WOOOOORRRRLLLLD…. ORVILLE BROWN!!!
His journey to wrestling superstardom began when Orville met a local manager and trainer of wrestlers who convinced him that he could make a good living grappling. Orville then began training with a routine of running in the morning, blacksmithing all day and working on mat work at the Wallace High School in the evening.
Kansas, Iowa, Nebraska and much of the Midwest had a wrestling and gambling culture that supported minor professional shoots. Most all young farmers wrestled and they would meet on Sundays get-togethers after church, at carnivals, fairs, and some matches were even promoted like tradition pro wrestling events.
Orville had his first match in Oct. 1931 and that began an unbeaten streak that would reach 72 matches. Many of the names we find on his record aren't well known today, because they were local farmers and town champions, put up against Brown in shoots. On Sept. 2, 1932 Brown defeated Allen Eustace, a famed old time shooter whose career goes back to matches with Joe Stecher (11-28-14), Earl Caddock (5-7-17) and Ed Lewis (3-21-18), for the Kansas State Title. His reputation was such that he was used mid card on a traditional pro wrestling card in Wichita.
Orville realized that the fans didn't want or support shoot style wrestling; they thought it looked amateur, they wanted worked pro style and that was where the money was. He made the decision to learn how to "work" and when he told his coach/manager, who was opposed to the move, they parted under friendly conditions. Now, Orville Brown has signed with the Gold Dust Trio Inc (Ed Lewis & Toots Mondt) and is bringing his MidWest Championship belt and heralded undefeated streak to XPW Remixed!!!
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”THE SOLID MAN” RESPONDS…
WILLIAM MULDOON: Even more important and difficult than being honest with your fellow men, is being honest with yourself.
** MSD catches William Muldoon backstage for his reaction on “The Commission’s” earlier decree (Eddie Gilbert vs William Muldoon, if Gilbert wins he can buy the Boston Championship). Muldoon is disgusted and perturbed, and utters the above-immortal words. He addresses the coward Shikat and promises to bring glory to the Boston Championship once more. Muldoon also directs his attention to the arrival of the NEW Triple Threat in XPW Remixed, and promises that the “Olympia” does not fight alone… filtering in slowly behind him you see Hakushi, Mil Mascaras, Woman’s champion Alexxis Nevaeh, Tomasso Ciampa… William Muldoon certainly has back-up! He promises to defeat Eddie Gilbert and then dethrone Shikat at “Halloween in Hell”!!! William Muldoon versus Eddie Gilbert on the next XPW Online episode!!! **
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** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
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** BACKSTAGE INTERLUDE **
The sullen and brooding Doink ReBourne can be seen sulking in a dark stair case somewhere (no doubt reflecting on his loss to William Muldoon last week – see XPW Online #4). Doink is then approached, mocked and laughed at by none other than the original “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble!
Good, somewhat-funny harassment by Rumble that turns menacing when Doink goes face-to-face with Rumble to retort. But before Doink can threaten Rumble further… the “Boston Bad” Boy is joined by the massive Val Puccio and berserker Mondo Kleen! NOW the tides have changed again, and it is Rumble with the smirk as Doink backs down…
Into the scene to inject some levity, color and pizzazz – none other than the bombastic “Rockstar” Joey KAOS himself, along with his lovely valet Missy Hyatt (circa 1990)!!! A lil verbal razzle-dazzle from Kaos, some sexy feminine posturing by Missy Hyatt, and BAM! Score another lyrical beat down for the good guys! Rumble stands with egg on his face after Kaos’ humorous retort, but before Rumble can lose his temper and unleash his beasts – the XPW Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele hits the scene with a “whoa, whoa! Slow your roll!”
“The Real Deal” Damien Steele nearly steals the scene with his cocky, entitled, Commissioner rulings and sarcastic tongue-in-cheek jokes about both Rumble and Missy Hyatt (worth a red-faced chuckle or two). He’s about to put together a tag-team match with Puccio & Kleen tonight until Tony Rumble DEMANDS to be involved in the action. But instead of a handicap match, Rumble suggests Missy Hyatt step-up and take her partners side to even things up. She accepts (big pop)!!! So there we have it! 6-Person Tag Team match, XPW Remixed-style! And it’s coming up NEXT!!!
TONY RUMBLE, VAL PUCCIO & MONDO KLEEN
versus
DOINK REBOURNE, KAOS & MISSY HYATT
(6-Person Tag Team Match)
vs
Exciting, frivolous, fun-filled affair with big Val Puccio and Mondo Kleen playing the straight-men to Tony Rumble’s comedic (and cowardly antics). Missy Hyatt plays perpetual-cheerleader-on-ring apron, as her man Rockstar Joey KAOS gets to show off. Match is mostly a showcase for the young KAOS, with the crusty Doink ReBourne doing just enough to keep up. Mondo Kleen is frustrated by Kaos’ speed and agility, and the “Rockstar” of XPW Remixed finally catches Tony Rumble (after he was trying to pull Missy Hyatt into the ring – but she stopped him with a SLAP to the face!) with a top rope KAOStrophe(somersault neckbreaker from the top rope) for the win!!! Doink ReBourne leers and jeers at a dejected Tony Rumble, as he’s scooped up off the mat by his boys Val Puccio and Mondo Kleen. Meanwhile, KAOS and Hyatt get the spotlight, and pose and preen for the crowds cheers.
Winners: KAOS, MISSY HYATT & DOINK REBOURNE
** CUT TO COMMERICAL **
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"BEST of 7 SERIES"
TO BE DECIDING FACTOR IN SHOOTERS CLUB/CALI CRIPPLERS FEUD
Ed "Strangler" Lewis & Joseph "Toots" Mondt
Original Gold Dust Trio Inc partners Ed “Strangler” Lewis & Joe “Toots” Mondt have the press conference kit set-up in the ring. Strangler Lewis reads a brief proclamation to the audience, before inviting the respective head coaches of these factions down to the ring (where this matter will be dealt with permanently). Cali Cripplers coach AD SANTEL enters to boos, and finally the great Lou Thesz (captain of the Shooters Club) makes his entrance to deafening cheers. Both Thesz & Santel (along with Lewis & Mondt) are dressed in that classic ‘30s era finery, complete with fedoras and pocket handkerchiefs. Both camps have accompanied their coach, and surround the ring.
Former allies turned bitter rivals, Ad Santel & Lou Thesz
SHOOTERS CLUB versus CALI CRIPPLERS – “Best of 7” series!!!!
With each camp already surrounding the ring – the competition starts NOW!!!
BEST of 7 SERIES
(Match #1)
DAN SEVERN (1995) versus ADAM PEARCE (2012)
(Lumberjack Match)
versus
Dan Severn is the real-life “Big Bully Busick” of pro wrestling. A legit throwback to the days of ‘50s era hookers and shooters (complete with near-handlebar mustache and everything), Dan Severn brings the Strangler Lewis era to life every time he grapples. His initial WWF run (circa late 1990s) may have been perceived as lackluster, but when one examines the quality of his work and ring-style you see something born from real wrestling. Even when Severn was tearing up the UFC circuit, you never saw him throw an overabundance of strikes. He earned his nickname “BEAST” with the variety of punishing suplexes and slams at his disposal. Fast-forward 10 years, and Adam Pearce stands a more industry-oriented version of the classic pro wrestling shooter. A grappler in the vein of the famous Anderson family (more like CW Anderson), Adam Pearce fights out of San Diego CA in his official XPW Remixed solo debut tonight. Fans that may not be familiar with his work, nonetheless respond voraciously against him due to his simple affiliation with the cocky and mean Ad Santel’s Cali Cripplers. Severn and Pearce put on a wrestling display the likes of which you rarely see in pro wrestling today. The picture-perfect representation of everything XPW Remixed truly stands for as a force in the Territory Wars. MMA action with pro wrestling embellishment. Severn bullies Pearce, who winds up getting pitched (fairly, the commenter’s would say) back into the ring a few times by members of the Shooters Club. But when Severn loses his temper and winds up trying to get it on with Ad Santel at ringside, both camps get involved in the ruckus. Adam Pearce steals the win with a cheap roll-up and handful of tights! Severn is INCENSED and goes on a suplex tear, tossing both Uso’s over head before pitching Adam Pearce right over the top rope onto his camp! But the damage has been done! Cali Cripplers club goes up 1 – 0 in the Best of 7 series!!!
Winner: ADAM PEARCE
CALI CRIPPLERS: 1 / SHOOTERS CLUB: 0
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
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GENERATION ME versus MASTERS of PAIN
versus
Witness the continued rise of the brotherly Buck duo, and the official demise of the Thumbtack Jack/Danny Havoc team “Masters of Pain” (they’ve been hanging on by a thread ever since Cult ReBourne disbanded). Very exciting fast paced exchange by 4 men Vince McMahon would consider “undersized” – but with more pound-for-pound wrestling talent than half the WWF roster. The action, suspense and drama is an XPW Remixed staple and neither of these two teams disappoint. Generation ME bring the insane complexity and aerial dynamics, Thumbtack Jack brings the madness and aggression and Danny Havoc bumps around the ring like a young Mr Perfect or Dolph Ziggler, with the occasional steel chair or guard rail used to ratchet up crowd intensity. Generation ME win emphatically with their signature tag team move and pose and preen for the cameras in victory. Thumbtack Jack and Danny Havoc have another post-match argument that explodes into fisticuffs! They brawl all over the arena, as suddenly - BLKOut (Sabian & Ruckus) run in through the crowd! They want to get their hands on GenME for their earlier display of disrespect! GenME see the tag champs coming and RUN THE HELL AWAY!!! BLKOut chase them! The Headhunterz try coming out of the locker room! Chaos is breaking out! Off-duty cops and security intervene!!!! “XPW! XPW! XPW!!!” chants from the crowd!!! Another near-riot at an XPW Remixed show!!!
Winners: GENERATION ME
BLKOut represent!!!
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CRASHING the TAILGATE PARTY
** In the midst of another New Jack party promo (even more drunken and bleary-eyed than before), we are violently (some would say “finally”) interrupted by a Diamond Dynasty sneak attack! Alex Riley & Jack Swagger swoop into the scene, knocking over tables and scattering woman in waves of screams! They viciously attack New Jack & Pogo the Clown from behind, breaking Pogo’s own shovel over his head. Gut-wrench powerbomb from Jack Swagger hurls New Jack out of the pick-up truck bed and through a table in the parking lot (glass, cook-out stuff and condiments fly everywhere). With blood streaming down his face, Pogo the Clown struggles to his feet – pulls out his firearm – and aims it at Swagger & Riley (who put their hands up with mock calls of “whoa whoa!!!”) Now, coincidence or not, juuuuuust as Pogo is pulling out the gun (and the Dynasty have called off their attack) – the muthaphucckin POLICE show up on the scene! They catch Pogo literally red-handed (with bloody handprints on the gun) and bring him down with the tazer. The immaculately-dressed (if not slightly ruffled) Swagger & Riley play nice with the cops while Pogo and New Jack (found with drugs on him) are handcuffed and hauled off!!! The Dynasty sarcastically wave good bye and take over the tail-gate party! New Jack & Pogo the Clown are going back to jail!!! *
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XTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER
Another demonic declaration by a man with an insatiable appetite for mayhem and destruction. The Grand Wizard – president of the evil management firm “Commission” – and inventor of such Territory Wars horrors as the King of the Death Match title and “Baptized in Blood” Tournament of Death – is back with another twisted concept he’s ready to unleash upon the world. THE EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER
In this variation, each pod within the chamber has a different weapon for the competitors locked inside to hold on to. When each competitor's chamber opens, their weapon enters the match with them. Weapons used in the match will include crowbars, tables, light tubes, steel folding chairs, barbed wire-wrapped baseball bats, glass and other instruments of destruction.
TGW gives the grand introduction to the first official entrant into this insane spectacle… his ORIGINAL SHEIK! It’s clear the Commission designed this match solely as a showcase for the rich Syran madman who calls The Grand Wizard his American agent. But things never seem to turn out like as expected here in XPW Remixed, as Dark Powers continue their endless torment of evil. Qualifying matches will begin tonight…
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
XTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER
(Qualifying Match)
KEVIN SULLIVAN versus NECRO BUTCHER
(Thumbtacks & Spikes Death Match)
versus
Gouging, slicing, stabbing and bleeding. These two mad men show why they are some of the sickest, depraved beings in Fantasy Wrestling history. XPW Remixed fan favorite Necro Butcher pulls out all the stops (shoot punches and headbutts, Tiger bombs onto thumbtacks etc…) while the evil troll Kevin Sullivan continues to resist with Demonic intent. About halfway through the match though – a testament to the anarchy and chaos of the typical XPW Remixed show – we are joined by a 3rd unannounced competitor… SABU!!!! The previously-banned (in certain states due to shenanigans with the Athletic commissions) Sabu makes the crowd-pleasing run in (MUCH to TGW and the OG Sheik’s chagrin) and runs right through his opponents like a knife through butter. Sabu is on a mission! He pins Sullivan after a springboard moonsault, putting himself in the Xtreme Elimination chamber!!! TGW is outraged, the fans are ecstatic! Final visual is a bloody Sabu FACE-to-FACE with his angry uncle Sheik, with the only thing separating them being an Elimination chamber fence wall! The picture of the two relavites-turned-blood enemies framed by the separation of the fence will run in all the Xtreme Elimination Chamber promo materials from here on out.
Winner: SABU
SABU continues to haunt his uncle and the Commission!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL**
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SWIMSUIT COMPETITION
XPW Remixed Woman’s Division president – the deliciously evil and vulgar Lizzy Borden – continues to preside. Lording over her domain like a despot, Lizzy Borden continues to remind the world who runs this show (shades of her pathological insecurity, perhaps?) Tonight – another challenge for XPW Remixed “rookie” MILDRED BURKE. But instead of the usual mismatched, sexist and controversial matches ordered by Lizzy Borden – tonight’s affair is a little different. Slightly more provocative, but arguably just as degrading as any male-on-woman match might be… a bikini contest!!!
MILDRED BURKE versus SUNNY
Who is the winner???
YOU DECIDE!!!
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CO-MAIN EVENT
TERRY FUNK versus EZEKIEL JACKSON
(#1 Contenders Match)
with special guest referee "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS!!!
versus
Special Referee
Terry Funk gets a few moments of pre-fight mic time with MSD backstage. Typical craziness from the hardcore Texan, who is rightfully PISSED over Roger’s cowardice. Terry Funk gets a ring entrance (complete with swinging chair), followed by Big Zeke (to HUGE cheers) followed by a brief commercial break – and then the current XPW Remixed champion (West Coast version) “Nature Boy” Buddy Roger’s vain and glorious entrance. As special ref, he has harsh words for both before the bell. He finally calls for the match to begin and we’re off! Terry Funk (1997) and Ezekiel Jackson (2012) provide a hard-hitting, smashmouth match with Rogers providing just enough combustibility in the middle. Rogers refereeing clearly does not favor one man, it actually hinders BOTH competitors in spots. In the end, Rogers “turns his back” when Terry Funk clobbers Ezekiel Jackson into the mat. But when Terry Funk waves the chair threateningly at Rogers, promising to bash his brains in – the Nature Boy wisely begs off! This distracts Terry Funk juuuuust enough for THE MIZ to clobber Funk from behind with the XPW Television championship!!! Just as quick as that, “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers counts BOTH Funk & Jackson down and declares the match a no-contest! There is no winner, therefore NO #1 Contender!!! “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers and The Miz pose, and hold their championship belts aloft (diamond pinky rings glistening) to end the segment.
Winner: NONE (No-Finish)
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
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Honky Tonk Man's
"ICE CREAM PARLOR"
HONKY TONK MAN: Over-rated too many to mention most are in WCW with fat contracts. Under- rated there are a bunch of them mostly XPW Remixed, but they will get the chance here. The under-rated in WWF will never get a chance...
The perfect setting for this kind of angle and these set of characters. “The Ice Cream Parlor” is the XPW Remixed-version of a wrestling talk show (ala “Cutting Edge”, “Pipers Pit” or “VIP Lounge”). With its authentic 50’s flavored backdrop, complete with jukeboxes and milkshakes for two, it’s a wholly appropriate show for the Honky Tonk Man to host. And nobody likes to run their mouth more than the host. Except maybe tonight’s guest on the Ice Cream Parlor – the reigning, defending, undisputed XPW Television champion – THE MIZ!!!
The Miz arrives dressed to the nine, flaunting his precious championship and Diamond Dynasty affiliation. He’s accompanied by his apprentice Alex Riley (circa early 2011) and has much to say. Mostly about how awesome he is, and how it’s a travesty he must defend the belt against somebody he already defeated soundly (The Messiah = see “Liberty or Death”). That was the very night his new motto was born (reveals the upside down “XPW” logo on his championship belt) – “MdX – Miz Defines XXXTREEEEME!!!!”
Cue ominous Fear Factory theme song and dramatic darkening of the house lights (along with a RISE in crowd cheers) – and enter THE MESSIAH. His dark, brooding presence stands in stark contrast to the antiquated 50’s diner setting around him, and the new millennium fresh-dressed Miz & Riley before him. But MESSIAH addresses them sternly, justly and without remorse. His is a Divine message gifted by a higher force. He speaks of the “HEXAD” – six prophetic visions that will herald a time of great change in XPW Remixed, and the territory wars as a whole. The first has come to pass with the Messiah’s victory last week... now –
”The lifeless child of stern mother found
Heralds a time, night of evil unbound…”
… another will come to pass when Messiah takes Miz’s precious championship gold – his “baby” – from him at “Halloween In Hell”!!! This preposterous and bold (not to mention “nonsensical”) philosophical speech is soundly retorted by the MIZ (“really? Really? REALLY???”) But Messiah’s not through. This isn’t even about The Miz, for he will be made to pay for the sins he committed within the Diamond Dynasty. No, this goes all the way to the top where Dark Powers seek vengeance against the abominable. The Dynasty and Miz have cavorted with forces even darker and blacker than their own souls (Messiah is clearly alluding to the Dynasty’s few brushes with the Cannibal Cartel). Forces upon which great and heavenly justice will be wrought. For October heralds a time of great darkness in XPW Remixed – a darkness before the Dawn, as a great and evil empire will crumble to dust!!!! The last few words are spoken with such conviction, fervor and passion that it actually BLOWS A FUSE in the building, causing a cascade of sparks to rain down from malfunctioning equipment! Honky Tonk Man has LONG since fled the scene already, and now Miz and Riley are powdering out with that “I just saw the Undertaker rise from the dead” look in their eyes. Meanwhile, Messiah stands firm – unmoving, unflinching – in the center of the ring eyeing their retreat. Was the Messiah talking about the Diamond Dynasty? The Cannibal Cartel? Or something even bigger??? The Grand Conjunction approaches… “HALLOWEEN IN HELL”!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
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Watching the main event from the rafters...
MAIN EVENT
”SICK” NICK MONDO (2001) w/ Ian Rotten
vs. BRUNO SAMMARTINO (1975)
w/ versus
Ill main event entrances from both men, with the Bruce Buffer meets Jeremy Borash-styled ring intro provided by MSD. Commercial break before the bell rings. On commentary, Solie & Striker put over “Sick” Nick Mondo as the most underrated talent in XPW Remixed today. Solie in particular believes Mondo’s alliance with the Cannibal Cartel is hindering him as a premier performer. His innovative moves, thrilling style and distinct appearance are definite plusses for him. Bruno Sammartino on the other hand, is just a Bear. His size, strength and sheer wrestling popularity cannot be matched. He is Hulk Hogan 1985/ Stone Cold 1998/ and Road Warriors 1988 in the reaction he generates from every audience he graces. Strange in some ways, considering the typical or target XPW Remixed audience. But for some reason his mix of values, old school beliefs and sheer wrestling talent has endeared himself to the fans like no other performer before him.
Bruno is bullish in his ways, overpowering and out-muscling Mondo all around the ring. But where Nick Mondo shines is in his sick assortment of futuristic, high-flying assault maneuvers. He definitely out-quicks Sammartino by a large margin. Not to mention the heat-machine (vacuum?) standing at ringside in Mondo’s corner, infuriating the audience further – Ian Rotten. Just his presence alone adds another layer of human emotion in the match. Very exciting battle with Sammartino looking strong, but “Sick” Nick Mondo can pull out the upset at any time. Striker references “Sick” Nick Mondo’s victory over Terry Funk for example (see XPW TV Episode #11). Cue ref bump at end for over-booked shenanigans. Ian Rotten blatantly gets involved in the match, but Bruno STILL overwhelms him. So with Mondo on the attack again, Rotten comes back with a steel chair and takes it to Bruno. Mondo and Rotten pummel Bruno.
Cut backstage where Nick Gage (with bandanna over his face) watches the beat down on a monitor with the XPW Remixed tag champions BLKOut and Annie Social behind him. They are itching to get involved, but Gage waves them OFF. No, this is Bruno all alone…
Back in the ring the beating continues unabated. Bruno is now crucified in the ring ropes, helpless. In a truly terrifying moment, Ian Rotten returns to the ring with a MUTHAPHUCKKING WEEDWHACKER and revves the engine menacingly, before handing it off to Mondo. Their intent for the weapon is crystal clear, as Sammartino’s abdomen region is clearly exposed! Kick kick kick from the Italian Strongman!!!! With the crowd driving him on – Bruno hulks up and takes it to Mondo & Rotten, the weed whacker clattering harmlessly to the canvas! Sammartino’s superhuman comeback would put John Cena 2011 and Hulk Hogan 1988 to shame! Ian Rotten is tossed over the top rope! Bruno Sammartino CATCHES Nick Mondo in mid-move (the M. Bison double-foot stomp from the top rope) and twists the skinny indy wrestler over his broad shoulder! Sammartino locks in his over-the-shoulder backbreaker and wrenches the hold unmercifully! With the referee coming to, Nick Mondo finally submits! Bruno has done it again!!!
Winner (by submission): BRUNO SAMMARTINO!!!
Postmatch, Bruno gets his celebratory moment before powdering out and leaving the ring, where Mondo and Rotten slowly gather their senses. Uh Oh… begin the ominous theme of the Cannibal Cartel, and out comes Vic Grimes (with the Headhunterz behind him). The KotDM champion (with still-bloody bandages covering his Death match wounds from earlier) does NOT look happy. Like the march of the Executioner, Mondo and Rotten look on in fear while Rotten tries to distance himself from Mondo as much as possible. Sure enough, Vic Grimes takes the house mic and verbally rips into Mondo for his failure. He’s a disgrace, a fiend, and now… another example. Mondo tries to flee but it’s too late. The Headhunterz snatch him up and smash him into pudding. “Sick” Nick Mondo is then strung up – barely conscious – in the ring ropes, just as Bruno had been moments before. In what is quite possibly THE MOST HORRIBLE THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN PRO WRESTLING, Vic Grimes revs up the weed whacker and RUNS IT ACROSS MONDO’s EXPOSED RIB CAGE! Flesh and blood rip and splatter as Mondo cries out in pain! Grimes’ face is speckled with the blood, and ichor drips from the weed whacker blade! The audience has legitimately fallen silent. Even Ian Rotten appears shocked at the vicious assault! With Mondo writhing in pain on the mat, Grimes holds the weed whacker and his KotDM belt aloft. The Headhunterz stomp, attack and generally keep at bay any medical personnel or security officers that try to come to Mondo’s aid. Solie & Striker haven’t spoken since the postmatch assault began, and the shows signs off in silence – with a fade out on the blood-sprayed Grimes’ sick grinning face, and Mondo layed out on the mat as the final visual...
"Sick" Nick Mondo - another casualty of the self-consuming Cannibal Cartel crusade of hate.
______________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed presents...
HALLOWEEN in HELL
** XTREME Elimination Chamber
** XPW Television Title
The Miz © versus The MESSIAH
** Shooters Club versus Cali Cripplers "Best of 7" Series
** Ian Rotten & Headhunterz versus Nick Gage & BLKOut
** Boston Championship match
** XPW Remixed championship (East Coast)
Bruno Sammartino © versus "Vicious" Vic Grimes
(Exploding Ring Match)
AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!
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CREDITS:
WILLIAM MULDOON: "Muldoon, the Solid Man of Sport" by Edward Van Every
HONKY TONK MAN: Fan Q&A (SLAM! Wrestling 7/15/98)
GORDON SOLIE: Jeremy Hartley interview