Post by MadStepDad on Sept 19, 2011 11:23:21 GMT -5
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
We're back and broadcasting LIVE from an undetermined location. The window on the month of September 2011 is rapidly closing, and with it comes the fall of another empire. Team MSD has been scattered to the winds. Tonight's transmission is sponsored solely by sour diesel and inspired by the sick CHIKARA card in Brockton MA on 9/17/11. We may not know what the future holds for this company or it's creator - each page could be potentially the last in this story. Stay tuned for more as the XPW Remixed supershow for September - "RETRIBUTION" - now takes on an even more eerie relevancy.
This is the official XPW Remixed warm-up show for "RETRIBUTION", an event that now teeters on the brink of extinction. Backstage, personnel is a mess. In smark mode, the split company strategy of GDT Inc is on the edge of financial collapse. Whatever happens, the XPW Remixed guarantee remains and we WILL go out in a blaze of glory.
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RISE of the OLYMPIA
"The Solid Man" William Muldoon is a legend in combat sports. His new wave training school (based out of the "City of Champions" Brockton MA) has been on the rise in XPW Remixed. Anchored by International superstar Mil Mascaras, and the Japanese assassin Hakushi - with support from many local talent like Alexxis Nevaeh, Rocky Marciano & Tomasso Ciampa - the "Olympia" brand = "winner". But this righteousness attracts insects, like moths to a flame. One of those loathsome creatures was "The Boston Bad Boy" Tony Rumble.
Tony Rumble
Together with his "WHACK PACK" - a motley crew of Northeast Independent wrestlers - Rumble disrespected the Olympia fight camp, and their proud coach "The Professor" William Muldoon. This challenge was answered head on by Muldoon and his men, but like a wily reptile Rumble slithered out of their head-to-head confrontation at "Damage Inc". Instead, Rumble bullied the affable Curly Moe into competing against Muldoon & the Olympia (men the rotund funny man Curly Moe has admitted to admiring greatly). Instead, he was betrayed and battered by his partners for the night - Tony Rumble's "UNDERTAKERS".
Meet Big Val Puccio.
The "Undertakers" are just a pair of fat jobbers from the Indy circuit. Though they did hold the IWCCW Tag Team titles 2 times, their greatest claim to fame was having the "Undertakers" trademark gobbled up by the WWF. In exchange, the two tubbys got some (VERY brief) WWF shine as "Double Trouble". Not much came of that. The Undertakers came to XPW Remixed under the "jobber" rules, and have been quickly discarded after their loss on XPW TV Episode #24. In their place stands a big fat Guido-like character named "Big Val Puccio". A 5'11", 530 lb man dressed like an Italian mobster. After the "Undertaker" gimmick went south, "Henchman" (one half of the Undertakers tag team) went solo and became "Big Val Puccio" (circa ECW 1993). He's just obscenely obese. So much so, he was actually featured on the TLC series "Inside the Brookhaven Obesity Clinic". He's just a great, lumbering excuse for the always classy XPW Remixed fans to chant "U FAT PHUCKK!" over and over again.
At "RETRIBUTION", the Boston Bad Boy Tony Rumble (he of of the East Coast wrestling talk show the "Hot Seat") finally steps into the ring. He will team with Big Val Puccio and Mondo Kleen (formerly "Damien Demento") to combat Muldoon, Mascaras & Hakushi in a 6-man tornado tag match. Tony Rumble has sworn vengeance upon the Olympia for the humiliation he suffered at their hands on XPW TV Episode #24 (cue video tape footage of Rumble frantically tapping out to an Anaconda Vice from Muldoon)
Tony Rumble talks about the brother hood of his "WHACK PACK".
6-MAN TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH
The Olympia VS Tony Rumble & his "WHACK PACK"
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
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CHRIS CA$H versus JC BAILEY
(Death Match for XPW TV title #1 contendership)
versus
This match is another example of XPW Remixed storyline symmetry in play. The Cannibal Cartel have been on the rise in XPW Remixed as well, orchestrating a vicious reign of terror. This in turn has led to increased pressure upon the foot soldiers of the Cartel - jobbers, castaways and afterthoughts like Lil Chief, JC Bailey and even their "leader in rank" Ian Rotten. They've been forced to step it up and continue the wave of terror and intimidation. Ian Rotten drives a hard ship, acting as a slave master to Lil Chief and JC Bailey (much like Rotten himself is treated by Cartel capo Vic Grimes).
Ian Rotten
A recent incident at an independent card in Kentucky briefly made fantasy wrestling headlines (for all the wrong reasons). It's even being investigated by police as we speak. Cannibal Cartel independent wrestler Lil Chief was beaten half to death by wrestlers Devon Moore, Tank, Ian Rotten, and Rotten's son after a match Chief had on the card. There are rumors it was a drug-related debt that was being settled in the middle of the ring - and in public - to make a statement to other skidders who short the Cartel. Ian Rotten, the promoter of this small KY card, later said that Chief got his ass kicked for the right reasons and claimed that Chief was fine afterwards and happy he could still be part of the Cartel. Lil Chief was in a coma in the hospital, and unavailable for comment. Once press attention started coming in, Rotten said the beat down was an angle and part of the show. The officer investigating the situation says he isn't so sure the beat down was part of the show....
Lil Chief
Continuing with the theme of bullying and macho posturing, Ian Rotten sicc'd JC Bailey upon fellow up-and-coming XPW Remixed talent Chris Ca$h. The Fast-n-Furious daredevil of the ring Chris Ca$h is on his own storyline arc. He emerged from a feud with JTG (formerly of Cryme Tyme fame) having earned the respect of XPW Remixed fans. He then shocked the world (and XPW TV Champion The Miz) when Ca$h won a 3-way #1 contenders match on XPW TV Episode #24. Suddenly, Chris Ca$h is in the line of fire from the Diamond Dynasty - the greatest championship conglomeration in Fantasy Wrestling today. Just the mere rub from that association alone is enough to make Chris Ca$h's star shine brighter. But stars collided backstage when Ian Rotten convinced JC Bailey to challenge Ca$h to put his newly-won #1 Contendership on the line in a match tonight. Of course, it was very disrespectful and in bad taste, and Chris Ca$h had no choice but to accept in order to defend his honor and prove he ain't a BITCH. That match is NOW.
Chris Ca$h finishes with his "Cash Flo" finisher from the top rope through a table lined with glass tubes.
Winner: CHRIS CA$H
BAM! Segue into the next storyline. Once more, Chris Ca$h is run-over from behind and flattened b the reigning XPW Television champion THE MIZ! To big boos, the cocky suit wearing creep crushes Ca$h amidst the death match litter and flaunts his championship gold. The Miz shows off the upside down "XPW" logo on his belt (now reading "MdX") and reminds you "MIZ DEFINES XXXXTREEEEEEME!!!!"
MIZ: Chris Ca$h. Chris Ca$h? Really? Really? Really? We’re going there? He doesn’t actually hold the belt, but he holds… actually nothing, to be completely honest, and as far as I’m concerned... let’s put it this way, at "RETRIBUTION"…Listen, "RETRIBUTION". This Sunday is the XPW Television Championship match. I don’t have a match, yet! (kicks the downed Chris Ca$h again like he's absolutely nothing). But if Chris Ca$h would love to have a match, I would love to beat him up. Because let’s face it, I’m the most see Television Champion of all time. And there is no one that takes away anything from me because I am the Miz, and I. Am. Awesome....
XPW Remixed Commissioner "Real Deal" Damien Steele
BOOM! Storyline segue #2 and SWERVE!!! Enter XPW Remixed Commissioner "The Real Deal" Damien Steele (to a strong amount of cheers, especially opposite the immensely dislikable MIZ). Damien Steele informs Miz that his so-called "Rock star Reality TV Show" tour will come to an end at "RETRIBUTION". For the Miz isn't just facing Chris Ca$h... oh no no, that just won't do for somebody as XXXTREEEEME as the MIZ. Instead - he will be competing in a 4-way Ladder match! The Miz's opponents will be Chris Ca$h... "Sick" Nick Mondo... and the MESSIAH!!!
"Sick" Nick Mondo
The announcement blows the roof off the building. The ninja-like "Sick" Nick Mondo hops the audience guard rail to get at Miz, but stops short when the Miz wheels around to face him. Weird, tense exchange between an angry Miz and Ian Rotten (who stands beside Mondo). Finally Rotten sends Mondo into the ring where he and Miz team up to stomp Chris Ca$h into the mat. They're joined by JC Bailey and it's 3-on-1. Then the lights go out dramatically, and when they return the Savior of Xtreme MESSIAH has arrived! He does the crowd-pleasing house cleaning segment, clearing the Cartel and Miz out of the ring! Miz and Mondo exchange angry shouts and shoves on the entrance ramp while Messiah soaks up the glory and adulation of his fans in the audience!!! But just then Messiah is clobbered from behind with a steel chair by... ROCKSTAR KAOS (featuring Missy Hyatt)!!?? Oh my, 5-way Ladder Match at "RETRIBUTION" for the XPW TV Title! Each contender has that ONE chance at reaching the stars! Reality TV nowadays is like hitting the lottery, and there is a 80% chance we could see a new TV champion come "RETRIBUTION"!!!!
Blood of The MESSIAH
XPW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
The Miz © versus Chris Ca$h versus "Sick" Nick Mondo
versus The MESSIAH versus Rockstar KAOS
(5-Way Ladder Match)
Missy Hyatt always gets her way, and now her man Rockstar KAOS gets a Title shot at "RETRIBUTION"!!!
** CUT **
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RESPECT the SHOOTERS
The Shooters Club
(Lou Thesz, Drake Younger, Dan Severn & Masahiko Kimura)
Thesz also made the acquaintance of Ray Steele and Strangler Lewis; two guys who knew not only how to wrestle but also how to have a good time. They took the seriousness out of the young man and eased him into the carny life. He also met his bete noire around this period, Toots Mondt, who was booking the Los Angeles promotion of Lou Daro. Toots was known in his heyday as one of the finest chiselers and con men of wrestling. Thesz found out first hand how well earned this reputation was. As a prelim worker for Mondt, Thesz didn’t expect to make that much, but he did expect to make a living wage. Mondt paid so little that Thesz was forced to take a second job wrangling mustangs to make ends meet. For this treatment he never forgot Mondt and it colored his perception of things from then on, sometimes to his benefit, sometimes not. A call by Joe Malcewicz to work in the San Francisco territory got Lou out of a bad situation and introduced him to a man he credits with teaching him the fine art of hooking: Ad Santel.
One thing about Lou Thesz, when he likes you, he really, really likes you. On the flip side of the coin, when he dislikes you, watch out. The passage in Hooker concerning Santell is paean to the character and life of Santell. Lou even relates the story of how Santell injured Hackenschmidt’s knee before his rematch with Frank Gotch at the bequest of Gotch’s people for $5,000. It’s a great story, and that’s all I think it really is, a story. Gotch didn’t need anyone to injure Hackenschmidt. In fact, he needed a healthy Hackenschmidt because of the bad taste that lingered in people’s mouths after their first bout. An injured Hackenschmidt would only reflect badly on Gotch and Gotch knew that.
** Phantom of the Ring
Cali Cripplers
(Ad Santel feat. Adam Pierce, the Uso Bros (w/ Tamina) & B-Boy)
4 on 4 "Survivor Series"-style Elimination Tag Match at "RETRIBUTION!" Only the strongest team will win!
ELIMINATION TAG MATCH
Thesz, Younger, Severn & Kimura VS. The Usos, B-Boy & Adam Pierce (w/ coaching by Ad Santel)!!!
** FADE OUT **
________________________________________________________________________________________
PODCAST WITH LIZZY BORDEN
(on the state of the Womens Division in XPW Remixed)
MSD: Let’s talk a little bit about this wrestling thing. You’re becoming quite a character in the wrestling world.
LIZZY BORDEN: Yes. I’ve been in quite a few of the magazines and it’s keeping me pretty busy. We’re really growing. I play the boss who loves to wreak havoc. We are the most hated people, I’m a total cunt bitch but also a whiner. I love to start trouble, but then I run to the Commission when things go wrong. I interfere in all the matches.
MSD: I saw one of your shows, you were a bitch.
LIZZY BORDEN: Thank you, I try really hard. I’m really a nice person, but it’s fun to be a bitch in the ring. Don’t get me wrong, I can be a bitch. I can be a huge bitch. And lil Miss XPW Remixed rookie Mildred Burke can find that out too, if she doesn't play nice with me.
MSD: Unless somebody crosses you, you’re nice?
LIZZY BORDEN: You know, it takes a lot to piss me off. I take too much shit sometimes, but I reach a point where I just blow up. That little stunt Annie Social pulled at "DAMAGE INC"? That little topless stunt that almost got us kicked off the air? Yeah, that made me blow up. That's why Annie Social has been BANNED from competing in an XPW Remixed ring for 30 days. I don’t want to start any drama, but there are a lot of people at Extreme who don’t respect TGW and Jack Pfefer enough. They’re young and they think they can just do it their own way. There aren’t a lot of people who could do what they did and make a company work like this one has. That's why I kicked Sammi Lane off the XPW Online show, and demanded she perform in the ring at "RETRIBUTION" or she's gone. I'll deal with Sunny days later...see, I liked working with girls. I always wanted to work with Sunny. This may sound mean, but Sunny has really bad breath. She smoked a lot of cigarettes so I didn’t like to kiss her. But I liked to lick her ass. She does have a nice ass and it tasted good. (giggles) There were a couple of people I hated. That dickhead with the long hair, Damien Steele! I did a blowjob with him for All Good Video, that fucking asshole. I could stab that mother fucker, I hate him. He thinks he’s God. Go fuck yourself. If it wasn’t for the girls in this industry the guys would be nothing. They need us to fuck. Fuck Bruno and his fake championship too.
Alexxis Nevaeh versus Sammi Lane
(At "RETRIBUTION"!!!)
** CUT **
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CO-MAIN EVENT
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS versus OLD DUST
(XPW Remixed West Coast Championship)
versus
Another example of Jack Pfefer chicanery. Imposter superstars, mockingly named after real-life enemies. In this case, a parody of Dusty Rhodes and his son Goldust. The character "OLD DUST" - a fat, polka-dot spectacled transvestite with a gold painted face. Highlight of the "match" of course is Buddy Rogers' million-dollar championship entrance (complete with Ostrich feathered robe and pyro display). Old Dust plays for laughs, allowing Rogers to run his whole shtick. Finally Rogers displays that vicious, cruel streak of his and suddenly the joke is over. He dismantles the fat job man and has him screaming and flailing his arms in pain to the Figure 4 leglock.
Winner (by submission): "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS
Real action starts post-match, after another self-glorifying Buddy Rogers promo. Kerry Von Erich storms through the crowd in street clothes, trying to get into the ring! XPW Security holds him back, while Rogers taunts him in the middle of the ring. Finally, Von Erich breaks through! But he's immediately swarmed in the ring by Alex Riley & Jack Swagger! The Diamond Dynasty cohorts of Buddy Rogers lay into the downed Von Erich with kicks and stomps.
Just then - "Natural Born Killaz" by Ice Cube & Dr Dre!!!
Enter New Jack & Pogo the Clown!!!
The two West Coast Rydaz roll on Swagger & Riley with their trash barrel full of weapons. This time the Dynasty is ready though, so the brawl continues in earnest (quickly removing the two teams from the ring, and out into the crowd). Meanwhile Rogers is left alone in the ring with a battered Von Erich...
Enter "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes!!!
Big Dust flattens Rogers with a series of Bionic elbows, before tossing him over the top rope to the floor! While Rogers writhes in pain, Dusty Rhodes holds aloft the XPW Championship belt! The crowd responds with cheers and Dusty plays to them with typical flair! Dusty on the mic - contracts between ROH and XPW Remixed have guaranteed Rhodes a title match against Rogers! Buddy is aghast to hear his opponent for the next PPV is suddenly being announced! Yes that's right, at "RETRIBUTION" Buddy's opponent for the XPW Remixed West Coast championship will be DUSTY RHODES!!!
"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers © versus "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes
(XPW Remixed West Coast Championship match!!!)
** CUT **
"THE CEO of Hardcore" Vic Grimes speaks...
"New Jack" = Bruno Sammartino
Vic Grimes will kill Bruno Sammartino at "RETRIBUTION"!!!
** CUT **
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THE SUN RISES IN THE EAST
XPW Remixed East Coast champion Bruno Sammartino
Time for some Scorsese shit right here. The ill out of ring, documentary-style video footage of the following confrontation. Somewhere on the East Coast at a promotional event, after the main cameras stop rolling, Sammartino is hosting a brief one-on-one paper interview with a local reporter. Just then, a band of Black roughnecks enter the scene and harshly dismiss the reporter from the scene. Before he knows it, XPW Remixed East Coast champion Bruno Sammartino is surrounded by hoodie-wearing BLKOut members Ruckus & Sabian! Brief yet very tense stare-off, as Annie Social can be seen lurking on the periphery. As Sammartino stands up (showing his Bearish size in comparison to Ruckus & Sabian), another figure enters the scene. Bulletproof vest-wearing, bald-headed White man with a gang rag covering his entire face. It's NICK FN GAGE!!!
Ill, tense scene with the street-driven BLKOut crew grudgingly offering some kind of solidarity with Sammartino, in their joint efforts to combat the California Cannibal Cartel crew (BLKOut battles the Headhunterz in a Championship rematch and Sammartino defends his title against Grimes at "RETRIBUTION"). Instead, Sammartino wants NONE of their alliance and has some harsh stern words for their style, language and morals. More hype for the belt Sammartino holds, as he builds the value of the title in his promo and has even the BLKOut crew respecting it's aura. While the tension is palpable, the sides (thankfully) don't come to blows. Two radically different brand of warriors, battling for the same turf. Nick Gage shines in his relatively profanity-free promo opposite Sammartino (though he does drop the "F" bomb at the end for extra emphasis, and to flagrantly disregard Bruno). They won't be doing business together, but neither side seemingly begrudges the other (though all sides remain wary). Sammartino & Gage have the tense nose-to-nose face off after Gage reveals his face, but Gage and crew simply roll out (knocking over a chair or two in the process). Hard close-up of Sammartino's stoic expression, and fade out.
XPW Remixed Tag Team Championship
BLKOut versus Headhunterz ©
(Gang Fight)
&
XPW Remixed Championship
Bruno Sammartino © versus "Vicious" Vic Grimes
** FADE **
________________________________________________________________________________________
MAIN EVENT
DICK SHIKAT versus DAMIEN STEELE versus EZEKIEL JACKSON
(Boston Championship #1 Contender match)
versus versus
Match came about shortly after Shikat's challenge to O'Mahoney (see Episode #24). Reigning Boston champion Danno O'Mahoney does guest commentary here live in the arena alongside Striker & Solie. Word on the streets is that O'Mahoney and his team are wary of doing business with Shikat, especially after the fissure in GDT Inc (leading to the formation of the evil West Coast syndicate "The Commission"). They're attempting to block his entry into a title match by issuing this #1 contenders bout. Damien Steele has been inserted for practical purposes, as he is popular with the pro-XPW crowd and an ally to Lewis & Mondt. He's also a persistent thorn in the side to the Commission, over his own office title of "Commissioner". So to counter THAT move, The Grand Wizard demanded the match be a 3-way dance and inserted HIS man Ezekiel Jackson. TGW & Pfefer have been courting Big Zeke ever since the company split, and have offered him their immense favor. All Jackson has to do tonight is make sure Shikat takes the title shot. But in the end... it looks like the "Apocalypse of 2012" had his own agenda all along...
The Grand Wizard wants to make sure Dick Shikat gets the title shot at "RETRIBUTION"
Story of the match had Steele playing sentimental fan favorite to Shikat's heelish bullying. Jackson displayed his ferociousness in spurts, but seemed to be holding something back. Finally, after another close Damien Steele comeback - Dick Shikat (and TGW who has now appeared at ringside) both snapped on Jackson and demanded he step up! The confrontation between Shikat and Big Zeke quickly became physical, and as the fans chanted their approval Big Zeke went into Beast Mode! He press slammed Shikat! Speared Steele! Big punch to TGW knocks the spindly manager to the arena floor! Series of bodyslams to Shikat! Big Zeke pounds his chest in animalistic fury, driving The Grand Wizard mad!
Boom! Enter Abdullah the Butcher & the Original Sheik! The two monsters of the Commission attack Ezekiel Jackson! They double team and savage Big Zeke, taking him out of the equation. Just then - he's rescued by none other than SABU!!! He's comes through the crowd to a MASSIVE POP and goes right for his uncle Sheik! The man who's been ducking and avoiding his nephew all over the country ever since their epic match at "Baptized in Blood!" Oh my Sabu wants a piece of his Uncle and his tearing his ass up all over the arena!!!
In the ring, Steele allllmoooost gets the pin, but Shikat kicks out after the "Deal Breaker" neckbreaker. A quick series of counters, and suddenly Steele is trapped in Shikat's improvised chickenwing submission!!! He gives up!!! Dick Shikat squeezes out a title shot! He gets his arm raised in victory, and can be seen having harsh words with Danno O'Mahoney on commentary, who has now risen from his chair (and loosened his tie!) in response!!! Oh my - Shikat vs O'Mahoney for the Boston Champion! Only at "RETRIBUTION"! A real-life slice of wrestling arcana, and another brilliant piece of wrestling history from MSD & XPW Remixed!!! Live on PPV!!!
Winner: DICK SHIKAT
** FADE OUT **
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XPW Remixed presents "RETRIBUTION"
** Olympia versus Tony Rumble, Mondo Kleen & Big Val Puccio
(6-Man Tornado Tag Match)
** Switchblade Conspiracy VS (Real) Kings of Wrestling VS Swagger & Riley VS New Jack & Pogo the Clown versus
UNKNOWN TEAM
(XPW Tag Team championship #1 Contenders match)
** Original Sheik versus SABU
(Death Match)
** Ezekiel Jackson versus Abdullah the Butcher, Skandor Akbar & Kevin Sullivan
(Handicap Match)
** Alexxis Nevaeh versus Sammi Lane
** XPW Remixed Tag Team Championship
Headhunterz © versus BLKOut
(Gang Fight)
** XPW Television Championship
The MIZ © vs. Rockstar KAOS vs. "Sick" Nick Mondo vs. Chris Ca$h vs. MESSIAH
(5-Way Ladder Match)
** XPW Remixed championship ("East Coast")
Bruno Sammartino © versus "Vicious" Vic Grimes
** XPW Remixed championship ("West Coast")
"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers (1963) © versus Dusty Rhodes (1988)
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CREDITS:
Lou Thesz passage: Wrestling Perspective review of "Hooker" by Lou Thesz (review written by Phantom of the Ring)
LIZZY BORDEN: Rogerviews.com interview (March 2001)