Post by Leo on Jun 20, 2021 19:10:03 GMT -5
Continental Championship Wrestling Supplemental 2: The Judas Effect
Andy Kaufman sits in a big chair with his lowered head in his hands. His right-hand man, Col. Robert Fuller comes in and immediately knows something is wrong. He kneels down next to the chair.
RF: What’s going on, Andy?
AK: I did a very bad thing. A horrible thing. Maybe the worst thing ever.
RF: Don’t tell me…
AK: I signed high priced talent!
RF: Jesus, do we need an intervention?
AK: He was sitting right there and I couldn’t help myself.
RF: Who was it?
At that moment, current day Chris Jericho bursts through the door. All fat, bloated and blown up from walking from the parking lot.
CJ: Le Champion is here to save CCW. I’m going to bake cakes and eat steaks.
Fuller and Kaufman stare up at him in silence.
CJ: It’s a new catchphrase, I’m still work shopping it…Let’s talk contract.
Fuller looks worried, but then his face brightens as he leans over and whispers into Andy’s ear. Something Jericho said triggered an idea in Fuller’s mind. Kaufman brightens too. Jumps up from the chair and goes over to his desk.
AK: I think there’s a lot we can offer you other than money.
CJ: I’ve accomplished everything I can in this business. Now, it’s the money or nothing.
Kaufman pulls a card out of his desk and extends his arm.
AK: How about lifetime free meals at the USA Steak Buffet on Route 10? They’re a sponsor.
Jericho swipes the card.
CJ: I’m in. But it’s going to take more than that.
Kaufman spits and sputters, Fuller comes over and whispers in his ear.
AK: Fozzy can do songs for all our pay-per-views…the bear?
Kaufman questions as he looks at Fuller.
RF: It’s Jericho’s band.
AK: Oh, of course. I’m a huge fan. I like that really loud song where you just mumble lyrics and nobody can tell what you’re saying.
CJ: That’s my favorite too.
Jericho stands with his hand on his hip, expecting more.
RF: A Little Bit of the Bubbly will be served at all CCW functions. We’ll throw in a case of Hai Karate leftover from our first pay-per-view. An autographed Women of CCW calendar.
AK: We’ll validate your parking!
RF: We charge for parking at shows?
AK: No, but we should probably start doing that.
Jericho stares at them for a moment, then turns and heads out the door while holding the buffet card high overhead.
CJ: If this buffet card doesn’t work, Kaufman, you’re going to have a very hangry Y2J on your hands when I get back.
Kaufman and Fuller take a sigh of relief.
RF: Now that we’ve got him, what are we going to do with him?
AK: We need somebody to put Tom Magee over.