Post by MadStepDad on Jan 31, 2012 21:35:36 GMT -5
** LIVE UNCUT **
Guerrilla footage of a massacred BRUNO SAMMARTINO, left in a heap unmoving in the locker room… his face and chest soaked with blood from a vicious unseen attack… XPW security, officials, paramedics and even XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” Lewis hover above… this is like what Kurt Angle did to James Storm in TNA 2011... Sammartino is OUT.
** CUE TRADITIONAL TV INTRO **
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
Highlight the vicious attack on Bruno... more words to come on that later, and how it jeapordizes the title match at the PPV... plus, Shane Douglas vs Eddie Gilbert in a "Dog Collar Match"... Lizzy Borden's "Fluff Bowl"... and Cena has pledged to defend his Boston championship... all TONIGHT!!!
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________________
"A TITLE SHOT BORN OF BLOODSHED"
Enter Commissioner Damien Steele to the ring… Breaking News: Sammartino attack and injury… as Commissioner he is forced to make a judicial ruling regarding the upcoming PPV championship match… Sammartino is OUT… and the new #1 contender is… “NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS (booooo!!!!!)
Cue priceless entrance of “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers and his million dollar Diamond Dynasty… they take the ring for another bristling, self-aggrandizing promo… condolences go out to Sammartino’s career, but the XPW Remixed show must go on… Rogers gives the hard sell on why he deserves this #1 contendership, but it’s just greeted by boos… finally they’re answered by ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS and JOE “TOOTS” MONDT themselves! The Gold Dust Trio Inc and owners of XPW Remixed!!!
They challenge the ruling and they challenge Rogers’ involvement… Jack Pfefer has some legal retorts for the team, but Lewis says it himself - once they prove the Dynasty was behind the attack on Bruno (which the Dynasty voraciously DENIES) they will have justifiable recourse to reverse Steele’s decision and remove Rogers from the main event for good!
This brings out current XPW Remixed champion Lou Thesz, who has a say in who he defends against… some brief stick work from Thesz puts over his disgust and disdain for Rogers, and utter delight he would get in breaking Rogers bones and putting him out of wrestling forever… the war of words escalates until Commissioner Steele and his boss Ed Lewis try a game of match-making one-upsmanship and make a tag team match for the main event tonight…
Buddy Rogers and his million dollar insurance policy Matt Morgan…
Versus
XPW Remixed champion LOU THESZ…
And (returning from his vicious post match assault on XPW Online #11) EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!
Tonight!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
The French Angel is alone in the boiler room area of the arena, in a wrestling match with his own thoughts and emotions… his turmoil reveals itself in the form of… a small stuffed teddy bear… Angel clearly has high hopes and expectations for this teddy bear, but instead quits on himself - stuffing the teddy bear in the trash can and angrily storming off, lamenting his horrible physical deformities with loud primeval roars as cameras fade out…
** CUT TO RING **
________________________________________________________________
BAM BAM BIGELOW (1988) versus
Guerrilla footage of a massacred BRUNO SAMMARTINO, left in a heap unmoving in the locker room… his face and chest soaked with blood from a vicious unseen attack… XPW security, officials, paramedics and even XPW Remixed President ED “STRANGLER” Lewis hover above… this is like what Kurt Angle did to James Storm in TNA 2011... Sammartino is OUT.
** CUE TRADITIONAL TV INTRO **
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
Highlight the vicious attack on Bruno... more words to come on that later, and how it jeapordizes the title match at the PPV... plus, Shane Douglas vs Eddie Gilbert in a "Dog Collar Match"... Lizzy Borden's "Fluff Bowl"... and Cena has pledged to defend his Boston championship... all TONIGHT!!!
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________________
"A TITLE SHOT BORN OF BLOODSHED"
Enter Commissioner Damien Steele to the ring… Breaking News: Sammartino attack and injury… as Commissioner he is forced to make a judicial ruling regarding the upcoming PPV championship match… Sammartino is OUT… and the new #1 contender is… “NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS (booooo!!!!!)
Cue priceless entrance of “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers and his million dollar Diamond Dynasty… they take the ring for another bristling, self-aggrandizing promo… condolences go out to Sammartino’s career, but the XPW Remixed show must go on… Rogers gives the hard sell on why he deserves this #1 contendership, but it’s just greeted by boos… finally they’re answered by ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS and JOE “TOOTS” MONDT themselves! The Gold Dust Trio Inc and owners of XPW Remixed!!!
They challenge the ruling and they challenge Rogers’ involvement… Jack Pfefer has some legal retorts for the team, but Lewis says it himself - once they prove the Dynasty was behind the attack on Bruno (which the Dynasty voraciously DENIES) they will have justifiable recourse to reverse Steele’s decision and remove Rogers from the main event for good!
This brings out current XPW Remixed champion Lou Thesz, who has a say in who he defends against… some brief stick work from Thesz puts over his disgust and disdain for Rogers, and utter delight he would get in breaking Rogers bones and putting him out of wrestling forever… the war of words escalates until Commissioner Steele and his boss Ed Lewis try a game of match-making one-upsmanship and make a tag team match for the main event tonight…
Buddy Rogers and his million dollar insurance policy Matt Morgan…
Versus
XPW Remixed champion LOU THESZ…
And (returning from his vicious post match assault on XPW Online #11) EZEKIEL JACKSON!!!
Tonight!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
The French Angel is alone in the boiler room area of the arena, in a wrestling match with his own thoughts and emotions… his turmoil reveals itself in the form of… a small stuffed teddy bear… Angel clearly has high hopes and expectations for this teddy bear, but instead quits on himself - stuffing the teddy bear in the trash can and angrily storming off, lamenting his horrible physical deformities with loud primeval roars as cameras fade out…
** CUT TO RING **
________________________________________________________________
BAM BAM BIGELOW (1988) versus
BIG SHAD G (2010) w/ Sunny (1999)
versus w/
One of the most charismatic, fascinating, and exciting new young talents in the world of professional wrestling is Bam Bam Bigelow (1988)… fearsome in appearance and size, but with the mobility of a man much smaller, Bam Bam Bigelow is a stunning addition to the XPW Remixed ranks… but the million dollar question is who will Bam Bam pick as his manager?? Various coaches and trainers have been vying for his attention since his surprise debut at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… tonight’s opening segment starts backstage in the locker room, where Bam Bam (lacing up his boots for combat) is approached by the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble and his Whack Pack member Mondo Kleen… Rumble tries to persuade Bigelow to join his cause, but Bam Bam humorously (yet sternly) rebuffs him and dismisses them from his locker room… Kleen tries to psyche Bam Bam out with his wild-eyed stares, but Bam Bam doesn’t flinch and unblinkingly stares them out the door… DECLINED!
Cut to ring where Bam Bam gets his TV entrance… once he’s in the ring though, we’re greeted by the strains of “U KNO U WANT MEEEE!!!!” blaring through the speakers… enter TAMMY “SUNNY” SYTCH!… the flirtatious lil dumpling cuts an ego-boosting promo for Bam Bam, while being serenaded by chants of “CRACK WHORE!” by the appreciative and civilized XPW remixed fans… but before Bam Bam even has a chance to rebuff her, she changes her tune and chastises him for selling out the Triple Threat at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… the verbal showdown leads to Sunny calling forth her NEW man, Big Shad G out from the locker room to defend her honor… the baggy jeans, Timberland boot, wife beater-wearing NYC hoodlum issues the challenge that Bam Bam quickly accepts, and we’ve got our first match… exciting power-based affair, with both guys coming off like roughnecks but Bam Bam also getting to throw his little cartwheels and half-moonsault spots… Sunny flirts and shakes her rear on the ring apron… Big Shad G misses the running boot… belly-to-belly suplex (like Shane Douglas) does followed by the top rope head butt seals the deal for Bam Bam Bigelow 1988 - the hottest free agent in the game!!!
Winner: BAM BAM BIGELOW
Post match, Sunny is outraged and takes that anger out on Bam Bam - pointing and screaming in his face… instead (with the crowd cheering him on) Bam Bam grabs her by the hair with one hand and prepares to kiss her deeply… but before he can, he’s blindsided by CHRIS CANDIDO (?) the stocky, platinum-blond fitness freak is clad in muscle-shirt and jeans and is wielding a steel chair! Two shots to Bam Bam’s back and a 3rd to his tattooed skull! Bigelow is down! Now Candido is pleading with Sunny, before Big Shad G gathers his wits and steps into the scene… Candido tries to placate him by graciously (and gratuitously) setting up Bam Bam Bigelow for a double team spot… Big Shad G and Candido work together to set up a table, but before they can do anything with it SHEAMUS makes the crowd-pleasing run in and save! Chris Candido goes through the table! Sheamus wins, driving the bad guys from the ring for good… Sheamus helps Bam Bam regain his senses while the fans chant for the Celtic warrior… fade out on Candido, Gaspard and Sunny’s distorted, angry faces as they retreat back up the aisle.
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
________________________________________________________
"JOKERS WILD #1"
Another vain, pretentious (Real) Kings of Wrestling celebratory vignette… the current Tag Team champions are arriving at a strip club in style, pulling up in their expensive luxury SUV (alongside their valet, and feature performer of the night, Jessica Darlin)… they even bully and yell at the valet, refusing to even let him touch their vehicle… The (Real) Kings of Wrestling party it up in the club, with a montage of extravagant and luxurious video clips to accompany them… but when they return curbside to find their luxury vehicle STRIPPED and sitting on cinder blocks, they explode in violent outrage! Darlin frets and whines whiles Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter shout and argue amongst each other… meanwhile cameras zoom in and fade out on a curious bumper sticker that’s been affixed to the rear of their stripped-down SUV…
The woes of the ghetto and rage of the inner-city is slowly beginning to permeate white middle and upper-class society…
** CUT **
*****************
"THE MEANING OF LIFE"
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Generation ME members Matt & Nick Jackson are bitching and griping about their stock in XPW Remixed… I mean, they JUST beat world-class contenders Sami Callihan & Nick Mondo on the last Episode of XPW TV!!! What ELSE does GenME possibly have to do to prove themselves?… they are then interrupted by the loathsome, disgusting creature known as Thumbtack Jack who continues to try to befriend the two tag team pretty boys… but in typical, caustic GenME fashion - the two brothers diss and dismiss Thumbtack Jack and Death Match wrestlers until they leave him feeling like a scarred-up, disfigured, German freak… GenME exit stage left as Thumbtack Jack is left feeling alone and emotionally abandoned… even his awkward attempts to joke with GenME were framed by Thumbtack Jack’s weird interests and bizarre scarification subculture, something that very few people can actually relate to… least of all Generation ME in this case…
** VIDEO SEGUE **
"Sick" Nick Mondo vs Sami Callihan: 1st Blood Match! Next XPW Online!
The guerilla footage continues as we XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele walk by with his secretary Jasmine St Claire… cameras follow her round bottom until we emerge onto a set where “Sick” Nick Mondo is prepping for a promo… he’s offering a few taped comments to reporters, when backstage correspondent MSD approaches for an exclusive XPW Online interview RE: Mondo’s upcoming “First Blood” match with Sami Callihan (on the next XPW Online)… Nick Mondo once again alludes to his dark Cannibal Cartel past, while still pledging to right the wrongs of those sins… he’s trying to focus on wrestling, and validating his “Best of the Best” claim… but this draws the attention of Thumbtack Jack, still hovering in the peripheral of the scene… he tries to make another awkward joke about the superiority of Death Match wrestlers, but Nick Mondo no-sells the exchange to focus on his technical prowess - until once again, Thumbtack Jack has been dismissed and his life’s work (death match wrestling) swept under the rug… even more gregariously - it is being undersold by “Sick” Nick Mondo, one of the foremost performers in the genre’s history… Thumbtack Jack is obscured in the background as cameras continue to focus on Mondo’s interview… but it’s clear the anti-social German madman is deeply feeling the snub once more…
** FADE OUT **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
Goofy Valentines Day related sketch with the pimptastic Human Tornado once again giving Curly Moe dating instructions for Valentines Day (Curly Moe for some reason is dressed up like a half-naked baby Cupid)… Weedman comes into the scene and hilarity ensues… In the end of the scene, Curly Moe winds up with that old Teddy Bear tossed into the trash earlier in the night by French Angel, and loves it unconditionally… meanwhile Human Tornado & Weedman wind up running off with some of the bikini-clad “Fluff Bowl“ participants for a puff bowl of their own…
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
___________________________________________________________________
SHANE DOUGLAS versus EDDIE GILBERT
(Dog Collar Match)
versus
The big blow-off match between former XPW Remixed Triple Threat members… video recap highlights their turbulent working relationship, including all their mishaps and miscommunications… and above all else: losses… this match is punishment for both men, and they both go hard and stiff… the crowd boos each man so loudly they wind up cheering when either one of them winds up getting really fucked up… both men bleed profusely as the dog collar keeps them tightly tethered, and the steel chain between them is used as a weapon… after a grueling, hard fought battle Shane Douglas winds up with a KO shot followed by a Pittsburgh Plunge for the clean pin… he’s still booed and littered with trash as he soaks in his own sweat and blood….
Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
XPW Woman's division president AND champion Lizzy Borden is arriving... posh, glamourous, cell phones, sunglasses, paparazzi, the whole deal... none other than XPW President ED "STRANGLER" LEWIS is waiting for her at the arena, to speak with her directly... instead she brushes him off with a sense of self-importance, and says she's "too busy" to hear him out now... she's preparing for her big "Fluff Bowl" tonight... Fade out on Lewis' stoic expression as he is rebuffed and watches Borden sashay away, with one more simple message for the XPW President...
Courtesy of LIZZY BORDEN!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
"A CALL TO DUEL"
Cameras catch up with Sammartino, still caked in dry blood in some ambulance somewhere… brief tough guy vignette filled with raw intensity as Bruno goes on to name his attacker and personally issue a word of warning - and vow of VENGEANCE… against doctors orders… against company wishes… against the world… Bruno Sammartino will be at “My Bloody Valentine II”… where he’s calling out his attacker to finish this once and for all… Bruno Sammartino versus… SAMOA JOE (!?!?!?)… Samoa Joe wanted competition! And it looks like he’ll get it at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!
WHY, JOE!?! WHY?!?
** CUT **
versus w/
One of the most charismatic, fascinating, and exciting new young talents in the world of professional wrestling is Bam Bam Bigelow (1988)… fearsome in appearance and size, but with the mobility of a man much smaller, Bam Bam Bigelow is a stunning addition to the XPW Remixed ranks… but the million dollar question is who will Bam Bam pick as his manager?? Various coaches and trainers have been vying for his attention since his surprise debut at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… tonight’s opening segment starts backstage in the locker room, where Bam Bam (lacing up his boots for combat) is approached by the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble and his Whack Pack member Mondo Kleen… Rumble tries to persuade Bigelow to join his cause, but Bam Bam humorously (yet sternly) rebuffs him and dismisses them from his locker room… Kleen tries to psyche Bam Bam out with his wild-eyed stares, but Bam Bam doesn’t flinch and unblinkingly stares them out the door… DECLINED!
Cut to ring where Bam Bam gets his TV entrance… once he’s in the ring though, we’re greeted by the strains of “U KNO U WANT MEEEE!!!!” blaring through the speakers… enter TAMMY “SUNNY” SYTCH!… the flirtatious lil dumpling cuts an ego-boosting promo for Bam Bam, while being serenaded by chants of “CRACK WHORE!” by the appreciative and civilized XPW remixed fans… but before Bam Bam even has a chance to rebuff her, she changes her tune and chastises him for selling out the Triple Threat at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… the verbal showdown leads to Sunny calling forth her NEW man, Big Shad G out from the locker room to defend her honor… the baggy jeans, Timberland boot, wife beater-wearing NYC hoodlum issues the challenge that Bam Bam quickly accepts, and we’ve got our first match… exciting power-based affair, with both guys coming off like roughnecks but Bam Bam also getting to throw his little cartwheels and half-moonsault spots… Sunny flirts and shakes her rear on the ring apron… Big Shad G misses the running boot… belly-to-belly suplex (like Shane Douglas) does followed by the top rope head butt seals the deal for Bam Bam Bigelow 1988 - the hottest free agent in the game!!!
Winner: BAM BAM BIGELOW
Post match, Sunny is outraged and takes that anger out on Bam Bam - pointing and screaming in his face… instead (with the crowd cheering him on) Bam Bam grabs her by the hair with one hand and prepares to kiss her deeply… but before he can, he’s blindsided by CHRIS CANDIDO (?) the stocky, platinum-blond fitness freak is clad in muscle-shirt and jeans and is wielding a steel chair! Two shots to Bam Bam’s back and a 3rd to his tattooed skull! Bigelow is down! Now Candido is pleading with Sunny, before Big Shad G gathers his wits and steps into the scene… Candido tries to placate him by graciously (and gratuitously) setting up Bam Bam Bigelow for a double team spot… Big Shad G and Candido work together to set up a table, but before they can do anything with it SHEAMUS makes the crowd-pleasing run in and save! Chris Candido goes through the table! Sheamus wins, driving the bad guys from the ring for good… Sheamus helps Bam Bam regain his senses while the fans chant for the Celtic warrior… fade out on Candido, Gaspard and Sunny’s distorted, angry faces as they retreat back up the aisle.
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
________________________________________________________
"JOKERS WILD #1"
Another vain, pretentious (Real) Kings of Wrestling celebratory vignette… the current Tag Team champions are arriving at a strip club in style, pulling up in their expensive luxury SUV (alongside their valet, and feature performer of the night, Jessica Darlin)… they even bully and yell at the valet, refusing to even let him touch their vehicle… The (Real) Kings of Wrestling party it up in the club, with a montage of extravagant and luxurious video clips to accompany them… but when they return curbside to find their luxury vehicle STRIPPED and sitting on cinder blocks, they explode in violent outrage! Darlin frets and whines whiles Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter shout and argue amongst each other… meanwhile cameras zoom in and fade out on a curious bumper sticker that’s been affixed to the rear of their stripped-down SUV…
The woes of the ghetto and rage of the inner-city is slowly beginning to permeate white middle and upper-class society…
** CUT **
*****************
"THE MEANING OF LIFE"
** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Generation ME members Matt & Nick Jackson are bitching and griping about their stock in XPW Remixed… I mean, they JUST beat world-class contenders Sami Callihan & Nick Mondo on the last Episode of XPW TV!!! What ELSE does GenME possibly have to do to prove themselves?… they are then interrupted by the loathsome, disgusting creature known as Thumbtack Jack who continues to try to befriend the two tag team pretty boys… but in typical, caustic GenME fashion - the two brothers diss and dismiss Thumbtack Jack and Death Match wrestlers until they leave him feeling like a scarred-up, disfigured, German freak… GenME exit stage left as Thumbtack Jack is left feeling alone and emotionally abandoned… even his awkward attempts to joke with GenME were framed by Thumbtack Jack’s weird interests and bizarre scarification subculture, something that very few people can actually relate to… least of all Generation ME in this case…
** VIDEO SEGUE **
"Sick" Nick Mondo vs Sami Callihan: 1st Blood Match! Next XPW Online!
The guerilla footage continues as we XPW Remixed Commissioner “Real Deal” Damien Steele walk by with his secretary Jasmine St Claire… cameras follow her round bottom until we emerge onto a set where “Sick” Nick Mondo is prepping for a promo… he’s offering a few taped comments to reporters, when backstage correspondent MSD approaches for an exclusive XPW Online interview RE: Mondo’s upcoming “First Blood” match with Sami Callihan (on the next XPW Online)… Nick Mondo once again alludes to his dark Cannibal Cartel past, while still pledging to right the wrongs of those sins… he’s trying to focus on wrestling, and validating his “Best of the Best” claim… but this draws the attention of Thumbtack Jack, still hovering in the peripheral of the scene… he tries to make another awkward joke about the superiority of Death Match wrestlers, but Nick Mondo no-sells the exchange to focus on his technical prowess - until once again, Thumbtack Jack has been dismissed and his life’s work (death match wrestling) swept under the rug… even more gregariously - it is being undersold by “Sick” Nick Mondo, one of the foremost performers in the genre’s history… Thumbtack Jack is obscured in the background as cameras continue to focus on Mondo’s interview… but it’s clear the anti-social German madman is deeply feeling the snub once more…
** FADE OUT **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
Goofy Valentines Day related sketch with the pimptastic Human Tornado once again giving Curly Moe dating instructions for Valentines Day (Curly Moe for some reason is dressed up like a half-naked baby Cupid)… Weedman comes into the scene and hilarity ensues… In the end of the scene, Curly Moe winds up with that old Teddy Bear tossed into the trash earlier in the night by French Angel, and loves it unconditionally… meanwhile Human Tornado & Weedman wind up running off with some of the bikini-clad “Fluff Bowl“ participants for a puff bowl of their own…
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
___________________________________________________________________
SHANE DOUGLAS versus EDDIE GILBERT
(Dog Collar Match)
versus
The big blow-off match between former XPW Remixed Triple Threat members… video recap highlights their turbulent working relationship, including all their mishaps and miscommunications… and above all else: losses… this match is punishment for both men, and they both go hard and stiff… the crowd boos each man so loudly they wind up cheering when either one of them winds up getting really fucked up… both men bleed profusely as the dog collar keeps them tightly tethered, and the steel chain between them is used as a weapon… after a grueling, hard fought battle Shane Douglas winds up with a KO shot followed by a Pittsburgh Plunge for the clean pin… he’s still booed and littered with trash as he soaks in his own sweat and blood….
Winner: SHANE DOUGLAS
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
XPW Woman's division president AND champion Lizzy Borden is arriving... posh, glamourous, cell phones, sunglasses, paparazzi, the whole deal... none other than XPW President ED "STRANGLER" LEWIS is waiting for her at the arena, to speak with her directly... instead she brushes him off with a sense of self-importance, and says she's "too busy" to hear him out now... she's preparing for her big "Fluff Bowl" tonight... Fade out on Lewis' stoic expression as he is rebuffed and watches Borden sashay away, with one more simple message for the XPW President...
Courtesy of LIZZY BORDEN!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
"A CALL TO DUEL"
Cameras catch up with Sammartino, still caked in dry blood in some ambulance somewhere… brief tough guy vignette filled with raw intensity as Bruno goes on to name his attacker and personally issue a word of warning - and vow of VENGEANCE… against doctors orders… against company wishes… against the world… Bruno Sammartino will be at “My Bloody Valentine II”… where he’s calling out his attacker to finish this once and for all… Bruno Sammartino versus… SAMOA JOE (!?!?!?)… Samoa Joe wanted competition! And it looks like he’ll get it at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!
WHY, JOE!?! WHY?!?
** CUT **
******************
"JOKERS WILD #2"
We cut to another tag team championship vignette… this one finds Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter in another wild, voyeuristic voyage filmed in Reality TV style as they finally reach their arena dressing room to find it broken into! Jessica Darlin shrieks in horror as all her undergarments and lingerie have been used and desecrated…the locker room has been trashed by vandals, with graffiti all over the walls… then they find a simple riddle box sitting on the dressing room table - the only thing in the room not knocked askew… it has a question mark faded with time carved in the side… suddenly it POPS up, and a cackling little toy clown face startles you and makes the (Real) Kow jump - before snapping and smashing the toy and the rest of the locker room in rage!
The Riddle Box: which will be your fate?
** CUT TO RING **
_________________________________________________________________
"SILENT SCREAMZ IN THE NIGHT..."
** BREAKING NEWS **
Cameras are backstage with life footage of an unconscious Mil Mascaras lying upon the Olympia locker room floor…. Paramedics huddle around him… much like the Tommaso Ciampa attack, the lights suddenly went black and the KO blow came unseen… cameras focus on that same mysterious symbol tagged on the locker room door as Mascaras is moved to a stretcher…
** CUT **
MSD is backstage with Jinder Mahal and his “Evil Empire”… intense promo angrily denying ANY involvement in the attack on Mascaras (or Ciampa prior)… it’s all racial profiling and Mahal and plays the injustice card for his camp… but now JOHN CENA has entered the picture!!! He verbally duels with Mahal over the allegations, and when Jinder Mahal’s men (Gama & Khali) step up - Olympia head coach “The Solid Man” WILLIAM MULDOON has the champs back! Semi-main event match is made for tonight: Cena vs. Great GAMA vs. Great KHALI in a Triple-Threat match! Jinder Mahal will pick up the pieces AND the Boston title at “My Bloody Valentine II” when the winner of tonight’s match picks the #1 contender!!! TONIGHT!
** FADE OUT **
*****************
"COMING SOON TO XPW REMIXED..."
The Famous, Fantastic, Fantasy-wrestling debut of the FABULOUS KANGAROOS
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
versus
Violent, profane East Coast bully the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble runs into his old WHACK PACK worker Curly Moe in the locker room… bullies and harasses the affable, Cupid-dressed weirdo while big Mondo Kleen bugs out in the background… Rumble winds up snatching the teddy bear away from Curly Moe before sending him on his way… just because.
** CUT TO RING **
___________________________________________________________________
ANNIE SOCIAL versus TWO UNNAMED DIVAS
(“Valentines Day Lingerie” Match)
versus versus
This match came about after a backstage vignette with Lizzy Borden being verbally accosted by former champion Annie Social, demanding a rematch for the title… instead, Social was given this assignment - a “Valentines Day Lingerie” match against two leftover stripper/turned/wrestlers… enticing (if not a lil sloppy) affair that elicits cat calls, chants and cheers of appreciation from the testosterone-driven crowd… Annie Social has little trouble with either diva and smashes one with a sunset flip/power bomb for the pin. Social is on the house mic to revel in the lusty cheers of the crowd, tease them further, and angrily demand a rematch with Lizzy Borden…
Winner: ANNIE SOCIAL
… but before she can finish her rant, Annie Social is blindsided and attacked by TAMINA! The daughter of the Superfly and valet to the Cali Cripplers club gets the jump on Social and pounds her into the mat! A flying superfly splash from the top rope seals the deal and leaves Social writhing in pain on the mat! Announcers wonder what kind of arrangement Tamina must have with the Woman’s Division president for her to act on her behalf like this… Tamina is all smiles…
Superfly splash from Tamina!!!
** CUT BACKSTAGE **
LIZZY BORDEN's "FLUFF BOWL"
Lizzy Borden with her trophy championship belt, has gathered all the fishnet-stocking, lingerie-wearing apartment wrestlers before her… she goes over the rules of the “Fluff Bowl” (basically her demands, and orders for how it will progress)… whipped cream, pudding and jello will all be used… in an elaborate ceremony, the cage of balls is spun and Borden draws forth the ping pong balls with the name of her prospective opponent in the upcoming Fluff Bowl (drawn from an assortment of names like “Cherry”, “Passion”, “Champagne” and “Xtacy”)… instead, she draws the first ball - reads it with open eyes - before discarding the ball with disgust and drawing another… but she has the same reaction! She stares at the ball disbelievingly, before rummaging for another ball… same result!!! Borden starts flipping about tampering, when a stern male voice from the back of the room cuts off her tantrum… it’s XPW President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS! And he’s standing alongside Mildred Burke!!! Lewis has been patiently waiting to meet with Borden all night, but can’t wait any longer… Lizzy Borden can rightfully remove herself from ring action as XPW Woman’s division president… but she CAN’T back out of action as an XPW Woman’s division CHAMPION… therefore, Lewis is ordering Borden to defend her woman’s championship - at “MBVII” - in a real life “Fluff Bowl” aka “Steel Cage Match” - against the opponent named on her ping pong balls! Lizzy Borden screams and freaks out, knocking over the cage of balls. Lewis chortles to himself, and Mildred Burke simply smirks and stares down Borden with a look of righteous vengeance written upon her face! Cameras pan to the ping pong balls scattered on the ground, on all of which has been written in bold black marker “MILDRED BURKE”….
Mildred Burke versus Lizzy Borden in a Steel Cage match for the XPW Woman's championship!!!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
** CUT **
******************
"STATE OF THE XPW REMIXED UNION"
Cameras catch a tense stand-off as former business partners Jack Pfefer and The Grand Wizard come face to face backstage… they exchange a few ominous and threatening words, while their back-up muscles flex their worth (Dick Shikat over Pfefer’s shoulder while the Sheik lurks behind TGW)… Finally Gold Dust Trio Inc owners Ed “Strangler” Lewis & Joe “Toots” Mondt enter the scene, much to Pfefer & TGW’s chagrin… Lewis introduces the GDT Inc legal counsel who helped iron this whole thing out...
Introducing to XPW Remixed...
DAVID OTUNGA!
Attorney David Otunga notifies them the Commission has officially been DISBANDED as an ownership conglomerate, but with various wrestlers contracts under file it DOES still operate as a management agency… and with Buddy Rogers being cleared of the attack upon Sammartino earlier this evening, the main event championship match will go on as planned at “My Bloody Valentine II”… BUT… there is room enough on the XPW Remixed roster for ONE managerial license only! With a smirk and a grin, Lewis & Mondt leave that decision up to TGW & Pfefer to resolve themselves… Two men! One contract! Who will be the manager of champions and last member of the Commission left standing!!! Pfefer and TGW have the tense, fuming staredown as cameras fade out on the segment!!!
Once managerial liscense left! How will TGW & Pfefer decide who gets it??
******************
"BEAUTY & THE BEAST"
versus
Disturbing, grainy backstage footage of the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble violently harassing his former valet Sami Lane… with the berserker Mondo Kleen lurking in the background, this scene has all the makings of a horror movie… but as Rumble wraps his hands around Lane’s wrists to shake her further, from the shadows a savior appears! The black-cloaked monstrosity lurches into action, clobbering Kleen and downing Rumble, all amidst Sammi Lane’s frantic screams! It is the FRENCH ANGEL, who’s Silent Film-era horror features are framed magnificently by the sparse lighting… he grabs Rumble around by his collar just long enough to utter a few ominous words (tinged with a French accent) and exaggerate his HORRIFYING facial features, before tossing Rumble from the scene! French Angel solemnly scoops the Teddy Bear up off the floor, un-crumbles the attached note and hands it, eyes down, to Sammi Lane… it is a Valentines Day poem and invitation for Ms. Lane to join the French Angel at “My Bloody Valentine II”! The Angel is still shy and timid, until Sammi Lane beams and embraces him - accepting his invitation... Sammi Lane & French Angel! The “Match Made in Heaven”! See you at “My Bloody Valentine II!
Happy Valentines Day from XPW Remixed!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_________________________________________________________________
** DEDICATION VIDEO **
Sheamus in the ring to start the segment - a special dedication to the late, great DANNO O'MAHONEY - throw to the video - unveil the statue - and cut another “old Irish tale” promo… builds towards dedicating this next match in Danno’s memory and throws out an open invitation, over-the-top-rope “IRISH WHIP” challenge… named after the wrestling maneuver that O’Mahoney created…
Sheamus has dedicated a statue to O’Mahoney in his homeland of Ireland.
This calls forth from the dungeons of wrestling… Thumbtack Jack (!?!?) That’s right, the scarred, disturbed little German cretin actually has the audacity to answer Sheamus’ challenge… Thumbtack Jack briefly retorts in half German/half English, but he seems to be announcing his reinvention here and trying to get some attention… instead, this elicit’s the rapid-fire sound effects of GUN FIRE through the arena sound system… enter the West Coast Crippler and real muthaphuckkin G B-BOY!!! The masked up, Cali gangbanger enters to put himself over at the expense of Thumbtack Jack and Sheamus, and ACCEPT the “Irish Whip Challenge!…” but THIS draws the sounds of police sirens, and we have our official party pooper of the evening - OFFICER CABANA!!!
SHEAMUS vs vs THUMBTACK JACK vs B-BOY vs OFFICER CABANA
("Irish Whip" Over-the-top-Rope Challenge)
vs vs vs
Cabana portrays the loud-mouth lawman with a bone to pick with every member of the audience over something... threatens to shut down the whole party, but instead gets sucked into the match... all 4 men brawl in the ring while announcers put over Sheamus' dedication and the importance of O'Mahoney to his homeland... Thumbtack Jack is the first eliminated when Sheamus pitches him over... followed by B-Boy... and shortly thereafter, Officer Cabana who is ejected from the ring by Sheamus (after an Irish Cross powerbomb) to huge cheers... Sheamus pounds his chest in victory, yells out "FELLLAAAA!!!!" and points to the sky...
Winner: SHEAMUS
Post match, Sheamus is handing out the last of the official Danno O'Mahoney autographed photos...
... when he's violently set upon and attacked by BIG SHAD G & Chris Candido!!! Sunny eggs them on as they jump Sheamus before powerbombing him through a table!!! Bam Bam Bigelow finally makes the run-in and save, but it's too late and the damage has been done... from the aisle, the now joyful trio of Sunny, Gaspard & Candido have a mic and announce their intentions: Tag Team Table Match @ "MBVII"!!!
Gaspard & Candido vs Sheamus & Bam Bam...
Tag Team Tables match!!!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
__________________________________________________________________
Honky Tonk Man's
"ICE CREAM PARLOR"
(w/ special guests the MIZ & Alex Riley)
Host Honky Tonk Man introduces reigning 2x XPW TV Champion the MIZ who enters to cheers… in the following back-n-forth with Honky, Miz cements himself as a fan favorite and Television icon… but like any good host (IE: Jerry Springer), Honky Tonk Man has an uninvited guest to procure… enter ALEX RILEY (2010) and his girlfriend MISSY HYATT (1990)!!!
The rich, carefree, Trust Fund douche bags mock Miz and highlight their beat down of him on the last Episode of XPW TV… more snaky insider references from the two former Diamond Dynasty cohorts… Riley shows unreleased video footage of Miz’s title win over Officer Cabana at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… the footage shows Miz procuring his old Diamond Dynasty Rolex watch after the match, and SMASHING it with the ring bell hammer to great crowd approval… Riley reminds Miz NOBODY just “leaves” the Diamond Dynasty… that’s why Jack Swagger fled North instead of facing their wrath…words and tensions escalate, TV title challenges, mixed-tag “Valentines Day” bouts… PPV payoffs… and we’ve got ourselves a championship bout at “My Bloody Valentine II”… Alex Riley AND Missy Hyatt, in inter-gender tag rules (a throwback to the original MBV hosted by XPW Remixed) versus the MIZ… and his mystery female partner… more spirited, TV-themed banter from the MIZ as he hypes up his chosen partner for the PPV… you never saw it coming… Ladies and gentlemen, from the KING of TV LAND… comes the MTV Queen and heart & soul of rock-n-roll…
WENDI RICHTER & Cyndi Lauper!!!
Straight out of 1985, the Queen of MTV Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter make their grand entrances, be-bopping to ringside and slapping hands along the way… Riley & Hyatt are outraged to see them, and immediately complain about it being unfair… instead, Lauper & Richter have some brief words for Hyatt & Riley, pledge their allegiance to Miz and TV land, and vow to do battle at “MBVII!!!”
WENDI RICHTER (and Cyndi Lauper) fight for their right to party alongside the MIZ at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
MIZ & Richter (w/ Lauper) versus Riley & Hyatt for the TV title!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
________________________________________________________________
** BOSTON CHAMPIONSHIP **
JOHN CENA versus GREAT KHALI versus GREAT GAMA
versus versus w/
"WWE Champion" = XPW Remixed Boston Champion
"Umaga" = Great Gama
Winner (and STILL Boston Champion): JOHN CENA
Postmatch, Cena celebrates with the crowd while Jinder Mahal fumes and tears off his suit coat… the assumption is that Cena will end Mahal once and for all by challenging him to a fight at “My Bloody Valentine”… but instead, Cena swerves everybody by decreeing Mahal unfit to be granted a championship bout! Instead, Cena will pick his own #1 Contender at “My Bloody Valentine II”… and he picks…
WILLIAM MULDOON!
Mahal is outraged… Raisha Saeed starts a sneak attack on Cena, but William Muldoon (the “Solid Man”) quickly makes the run in and save… Cena & Muldoon clear out the ring, before having their dramatic staredown… they shake hands and Cena holds up the Boston championship belt to show the world what it’s all about. Real competition time!!!
John Cena versus William Muldoon for the Boston championship!!!
Only at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!
******************
"JOKERS WILD #3 (the final reveal)"
In the final vignette, tag team champions (Real) Kings of Wrestling storm through a locker room enroute to finding the vandals who destroyed their own, when they come to twin doors, painted with odd demonic/heavenly figures… Suddenly the sprinklers in the locker room ceiling burst open and Faygo soda (!?) starts pouring down upon them… then in the confusion, the demonic door bursts open to reveal a bright light - enter ICP with the Juggalo Ninjas! Pondo & Necro Butcher absolutely savage the Real KoW with weapons, fists and blunt objects! All the while Jessica Darlin screams! The Juggalo Ninjas pose with the Kings fallen, bloody unconscious bodies like it’s a bad episode of “Weekend at Burnies”… but their intentions are clear! Juggalo Ninjas have the next championship shot! At “My Bloody Valentine II!!!”
The Juggalo Ninjas will challenge for the World Tag Titles!!!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II!"!!!
******************
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE *
Humbled, broken and beaten Thumbtack Jack sulks silently… Generation ME walk by and mock him further… but as they’re walking away, Jack finally snaps… he follows them into the locker room where he can be seen wielding a SCALPEL…a horror movie / borderline dark comedy unfolds next as Jack corners the two pretty boys in the locker room, and ostensibly goes ballistic on them with the scalpel! Cameras can’t see through the walls, but through the crack of the door and the brutal sound effects and screams of Gen ME you can just imagine what horror and pain Thumbtack Jack is wreaking upon them right now!! A return to form for one of the most destructive, homicidal forces in Death Match wrestling!!!
Thumbtack Jack turns Trenchcoat Mafia and unleashes his fury upon his tormenters and bullies!!!
** CUT TO RING **
_________________________________________________________________
LOU THESZ & EZEKIEL JACKSON
versus
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS & MATT MORGAN
versus
Main event entrances for all 4 men… Thesz & Jackson enter solo, Rogers & Morgan together… announcers talk about Rogers bribing his way back into the championship picture at “My Bloody Valentine II”… a desperate bid from some desperate men, as Jack Pfefer knows he’ll be out of luck if they can’t retain the XPW Championship… Thesz out-wrestles Morgan, Jackson out powers Rogers, and we go to commercial break… when we’re back, Rogers has taken over on Jackson (after a missed corner charge) and is working his leg and ankle… Announcers explain the “Wall of Stone” match between Jackson & Morgan at “MBVII” is similar to a tables match - first man to put his opponent through a STONE WALL wins the match… Fans chant for Thesz… and Jackson… everything breaks down and goes crazy when Thesz locks Morgan in an STF at the same time Jackson hoists Rogers up into a Torture Rack backbreaker… Diamond Dynasty members Alex Riley and Missy Hyatt make the run-in and the match turns into a schmozz… no finish.
Winner: NONE (No Contest)
Post match, a wild brawl breaks out… MIZ gets involved… Wendy Richter & Cyndi Lauper add some color and toss Missy Hyatt from the mix… Jackson & Morgan brawl all through the stands and backstage… but Rogers winds up clocking Thesz in the back of the head with the Championship belt!!! Rogers leaves up the ramp alongside his manager Jack Pfefer, pointing to his brain power as Thesz is left seething in the ring to end the show…
** FADE OUT **
____________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed presents...
"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"
** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz versus "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers
Bruno Sammartino (1975) versus Samoa Joe (2007)
** XPW Television Championship **
The MIZ & Wendy Richter (w/ Cyndi Lauper) versus Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt
(Intergender "Valentine" Tag Team Match)
Big Shad G & Chris Candido vs Sheamus & Bam Bam Bigelow
(Tag Team Tables Match)
** XPW Tag Team Championship **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling (w/ Jessica Darlin) versus Juggalo Ninjas (w/ ICP)
(Xtreme Rulez Match)
Ezekiel Jackson versus Matt Morgan III
("Wall of Stone" Match)
** XPW Woman's championship **
Lizzy Borden versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)
** XPW Boston championship **
John Cena (2012) versus William Muldoon (1887)
_______________________________________________________________________
"JOKERS WILD #2"
We cut to another tag team championship vignette… this one finds Austin Idol & Phil “Gunner” Shatter in another wild, voyeuristic voyage filmed in Reality TV style as they finally reach their arena dressing room to find it broken into! Jessica Darlin shrieks in horror as all her undergarments and lingerie have been used and desecrated…the locker room has been trashed by vandals, with graffiti all over the walls… then they find a simple riddle box sitting on the dressing room table - the only thing in the room not knocked askew… it has a question mark faded with time carved in the side… suddenly it POPS up, and a cackling little toy clown face startles you and makes the (Real) Kow jump - before snapping and smashing the toy and the rest of the locker room in rage!
The Riddle Box: which will be your fate?
** CUT TO RING **
_________________________________________________________________
"SILENT SCREAMZ IN THE NIGHT..."
** BREAKING NEWS **
Cameras are backstage with life footage of an unconscious Mil Mascaras lying upon the Olympia locker room floor…. Paramedics huddle around him… much like the Tommaso Ciampa attack, the lights suddenly went black and the KO blow came unseen… cameras focus on that same mysterious symbol tagged on the locker room door as Mascaras is moved to a stretcher…
** CUT **
MSD is backstage with Jinder Mahal and his “Evil Empire”… intense promo angrily denying ANY involvement in the attack on Mascaras (or Ciampa prior)… it’s all racial profiling and Mahal and plays the injustice card for his camp… but now JOHN CENA has entered the picture!!! He verbally duels with Mahal over the allegations, and when Jinder Mahal’s men (Gama & Khali) step up - Olympia head coach “The Solid Man” WILLIAM MULDOON has the champs back! Semi-main event match is made for tonight: Cena vs. Great GAMA vs. Great KHALI in a Triple-Threat match! Jinder Mahal will pick up the pieces AND the Boston title at “My Bloody Valentine II” when the winner of tonight’s match picks the #1 contender!!! TONIGHT!
** FADE OUT **
*****************
"COMING SOON TO XPW REMIXED..."
The Famous, Fantastic, Fantasy-wrestling debut of the FABULOUS KANGAROOS
** CUT **
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE **
versus
Violent, profane East Coast bully the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble runs into his old WHACK PACK worker Curly Moe in the locker room… bullies and harasses the affable, Cupid-dressed weirdo while big Mondo Kleen bugs out in the background… Rumble winds up snatching the teddy bear away from Curly Moe before sending him on his way… just because.
** CUT TO RING **
___________________________________________________________________
ANNIE SOCIAL versus TWO UNNAMED DIVAS
(“Valentines Day Lingerie” Match)
versus versus
This match came about after a backstage vignette with Lizzy Borden being verbally accosted by former champion Annie Social, demanding a rematch for the title… instead, Social was given this assignment - a “Valentines Day Lingerie” match against two leftover stripper/turned/wrestlers… enticing (if not a lil sloppy) affair that elicits cat calls, chants and cheers of appreciation from the testosterone-driven crowd… Annie Social has little trouble with either diva and smashes one with a sunset flip/power bomb for the pin. Social is on the house mic to revel in the lusty cheers of the crowd, tease them further, and angrily demand a rematch with Lizzy Borden…
Winner: ANNIE SOCIAL
… but before she can finish her rant, Annie Social is blindsided and attacked by TAMINA! The daughter of the Superfly and valet to the Cali Cripplers club gets the jump on Social and pounds her into the mat! A flying superfly splash from the top rope seals the deal and leaves Social writhing in pain on the mat! Announcers wonder what kind of arrangement Tamina must have with the Woman’s Division president for her to act on her behalf like this… Tamina is all smiles…
Superfly splash from Tamina!!!
** CUT BACKSTAGE **
LIZZY BORDEN's "FLUFF BOWL"
Lizzy Borden with her trophy championship belt, has gathered all the fishnet-stocking, lingerie-wearing apartment wrestlers before her… she goes over the rules of the “Fluff Bowl” (basically her demands, and orders for how it will progress)… whipped cream, pudding and jello will all be used… in an elaborate ceremony, the cage of balls is spun and Borden draws forth the ping pong balls with the name of her prospective opponent in the upcoming Fluff Bowl (drawn from an assortment of names like “Cherry”, “Passion”, “Champagne” and “Xtacy”)… instead, she draws the first ball - reads it with open eyes - before discarding the ball with disgust and drawing another… but she has the same reaction! She stares at the ball disbelievingly, before rummaging for another ball… same result!!! Borden starts flipping about tampering, when a stern male voice from the back of the room cuts off her tantrum… it’s XPW President ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS! And he’s standing alongside Mildred Burke!!! Lewis has been patiently waiting to meet with Borden all night, but can’t wait any longer… Lizzy Borden can rightfully remove herself from ring action as XPW Woman’s division president… but she CAN’T back out of action as an XPW Woman’s division CHAMPION… therefore, Lewis is ordering Borden to defend her woman’s championship - at “MBVII” - in a real life “Fluff Bowl” aka “Steel Cage Match” - against the opponent named on her ping pong balls! Lizzy Borden screams and freaks out, knocking over the cage of balls. Lewis chortles to himself, and Mildred Burke simply smirks and stares down Borden with a look of righteous vengeance written upon her face! Cameras pan to the ping pong balls scattered on the ground, on all of which has been written in bold black marker “MILDRED BURKE”….
Mildred Burke versus Lizzy Borden in a Steel Cage match for the XPW Woman's championship!!!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
** CUT **
******************
"STATE OF THE XPW REMIXED UNION"
Cameras catch a tense stand-off as former business partners Jack Pfefer and The Grand Wizard come face to face backstage… they exchange a few ominous and threatening words, while their back-up muscles flex their worth (Dick Shikat over Pfefer’s shoulder while the Sheik lurks behind TGW)… Finally Gold Dust Trio Inc owners Ed “Strangler” Lewis & Joe “Toots” Mondt enter the scene, much to Pfefer & TGW’s chagrin… Lewis introduces the GDT Inc legal counsel who helped iron this whole thing out...
Introducing to XPW Remixed...
DAVID OTUNGA!
Attorney David Otunga notifies them the Commission has officially been DISBANDED as an ownership conglomerate, but with various wrestlers contracts under file it DOES still operate as a management agency… and with Buddy Rogers being cleared of the attack upon Sammartino earlier this evening, the main event championship match will go on as planned at “My Bloody Valentine II”… BUT… there is room enough on the XPW Remixed roster for ONE managerial license only! With a smirk and a grin, Lewis & Mondt leave that decision up to TGW & Pfefer to resolve themselves… Two men! One contract! Who will be the manager of champions and last member of the Commission left standing!!! Pfefer and TGW have the tense, fuming staredown as cameras fade out on the segment!!!
Once managerial liscense left! How will TGW & Pfefer decide who gets it??
******************
"BEAUTY & THE BEAST"
versus
Disturbing, grainy backstage footage of the “Boston Bad Boy” Tony Rumble violently harassing his former valet Sami Lane… with the berserker Mondo Kleen lurking in the background, this scene has all the makings of a horror movie… but as Rumble wraps his hands around Lane’s wrists to shake her further, from the shadows a savior appears! The black-cloaked monstrosity lurches into action, clobbering Kleen and downing Rumble, all amidst Sammi Lane’s frantic screams! It is the FRENCH ANGEL, who’s Silent Film-era horror features are framed magnificently by the sparse lighting… he grabs Rumble around by his collar just long enough to utter a few ominous words (tinged with a French accent) and exaggerate his HORRIFYING facial features, before tossing Rumble from the scene! French Angel solemnly scoops the Teddy Bear up off the floor, un-crumbles the attached note and hands it, eyes down, to Sammi Lane… it is a Valentines Day poem and invitation for Ms. Lane to join the French Angel at “My Bloody Valentine II”! The Angel is still shy and timid, until Sammi Lane beams and embraces him - accepting his invitation... Sammi Lane & French Angel! The “Match Made in Heaven”! See you at “My Bloody Valentine II!
Happy Valentines Day from XPW Remixed!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_________________________________________________________________
** DEDICATION VIDEO **
Sheamus in the ring to start the segment - a special dedication to the late, great DANNO O'MAHONEY - throw to the video - unveil the statue - and cut another “old Irish tale” promo… builds towards dedicating this next match in Danno’s memory and throws out an open invitation, over-the-top-rope “IRISH WHIP” challenge… named after the wrestling maneuver that O’Mahoney created…
Sheamus has dedicated a statue to O’Mahoney in his homeland of Ireland.
This calls forth from the dungeons of wrestling… Thumbtack Jack (!?!?) That’s right, the scarred, disturbed little German cretin actually has the audacity to answer Sheamus’ challenge… Thumbtack Jack briefly retorts in half German/half English, but he seems to be announcing his reinvention here and trying to get some attention… instead, this elicit’s the rapid-fire sound effects of GUN FIRE through the arena sound system… enter the West Coast Crippler and real muthaphuckkin G B-BOY!!! The masked up, Cali gangbanger enters to put himself over at the expense of Thumbtack Jack and Sheamus, and ACCEPT the “Irish Whip Challenge!…” but THIS draws the sounds of police sirens, and we have our official party pooper of the evening - OFFICER CABANA!!!
SHEAMUS vs vs THUMBTACK JACK vs B-BOY vs OFFICER CABANA
("Irish Whip" Over-the-top-Rope Challenge)
vs vs vs
Cabana portrays the loud-mouth lawman with a bone to pick with every member of the audience over something... threatens to shut down the whole party, but instead gets sucked into the match... all 4 men brawl in the ring while announcers put over Sheamus' dedication and the importance of O'Mahoney to his homeland... Thumbtack Jack is the first eliminated when Sheamus pitches him over... followed by B-Boy... and shortly thereafter, Officer Cabana who is ejected from the ring by Sheamus (after an Irish Cross powerbomb) to huge cheers... Sheamus pounds his chest in victory, yells out "FELLLAAAA!!!!" and points to the sky...
Winner: SHEAMUS
Post match, Sheamus is handing out the last of the official Danno O'Mahoney autographed photos...
... when he's violently set upon and attacked by BIG SHAD G & Chris Candido!!! Sunny eggs them on as they jump Sheamus before powerbombing him through a table!!! Bam Bam Bigelow finally makes the run-in and save, but it's too late and the damage has been done... from the aisle, the now joyful trio of Sunny, Gaspard & Candido have a mic and announce their intentions: Tag Team Table Match @ "MBVII"!!!
Gaspard & Candido vs Sheamus & Bam Bam...
Tag Team Tables match!!!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
__________________________________________________________________
Honky Tonk Man's
"ICE CREAM PARLOR"
(w/ special guests the MIZ & Alex Riley)
Host Honky Tonk Man introduces reigning 2x XPW TV Champion the MIZ who enters to cheers… in the following back-n-forth with Honky, Miz cements himself as a fan favorite and Television icon… but like any good host (IE: Jerry Springer), Honky Tonk Man has an uninvited guest to procure… enter ALEX RILEY (2010) and his girlfriend MISSY HYATT (1990)!!!
The rich, carefree, Trust Fund douche bags mock Miz and highlight their beat down of him on the last Episode of XPW TV… more snaky insider references from the two former Diamond Dynasty cohorts… Riley shows unreleased video footage of Miz’s title win over Officer Cabana at “(Another) New Years Revolution”… the footage shows Miz procuring his old Diamond Dynasty Rolex watch after the match, and SMASHING it with the ring bell hammer to great crowd approval… Riley reminds Miz NOBODY just “leaves” the Diamond Dynasty… that’s why Jack Swagger fled North instead of facing their wrath…words and tensions escalate, TV title challenges, mixed-tag “Valentines Day” bouts… PPV payoffs… and we’ve got ourselves a championship bout at “My Bloody Valentine II”… Alex Riley AND Missy Hyatt, in inter-gender tag rules (a throwback to the original MBV hosted by XPW Remixed) versus the MIZ… and his mystery female partner… more spirited, TV-themed banter from the MIZ as he hypes up his chosen partner for the PPV… you never saw it coming… Ladies and gentlemen, from the KING of TV LAND… comes the MTV Queen and heart & soul of rock-n-roll…
WENDI RICHTER & Cyndi Lauper!!!
Straight out of 1985, the Queen of MTV Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter make their grand entrances, be-bopping to ringside and slapping hands along the way… Riley & Hyatt are outraged to see them, and immediately complain about it being unfair… instead, Lauper & Richter have some brief words for Hyatt & Riley, pledge their allegiance to Miz and TV land, and vow to do battle at “MBVII!!!”
WENDI RICHTER (and Cyndi Lauper) fight for their right to party alongside the MIZ at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
MIZ & Richter (w/ Lauper) versus Riley & Hyatt for the TV title!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II"!!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
________________________________________________________________
** BOSTON CHAMPIONSHIP **
JOHN CENA versus GREAT KHALI versus GREAT GAMA
versus versus w/
"WWE Champion" = XPW Remixed Boston Champion
"Umaga" = Great Gama
Winner (and STILL Boston Champion): JOHN CENA
Postmatch, Cena celebrates with the crowd while Jinder Mahal fumes and tears off his suit coat… the assumption is that Cena will end Mahal once and for all by challenging him to a fight at “My Bloody Valentine”… but instead, Cena swerves everybody by decreeing Mahal unfit to be granted a championship bout! Instead, Cena will pick his own #1 Contender at “My Bloody Valentine II”… and he picks…
WILLIAM MULDOON!
Mahal is outraged… Raisha Saeed starts a sneak attack on Cena, but William Muldoon (the “Solid Man”) quickly makes the run in and save… Cena & Muldoon clear out the ring, before having their dramatic staredown… they shake hands and Cena holds up the Boston championship belt to show the world what it’s all about. Real competition time!!!
John Cena versus William Muldoon for the Boston championship!!!
Only at “My Bloody Valentine II”!!!
******************
"JOKERS WILD #3 (the final reveal)"
In the final vignette, tag team champions (Real) Kings of Wrestling storm through a locker room enroute to finding the vandals who destroyed their own, when they come to twin doors, painted with odd demonic/heavenly figures… Suddenly the sprinklers in the locker room ceiling burst open and Faygo soda (!?) starts pouring down upon them… then in the confusion, the demonic door bursts open to reveal a bright light - enter ICP with the Juggalo Ninjas! Pondo & Necro Butcher absolutely savage the Real KoW with weapons, fists and blunt objects! All the while Jessica Darlin screams! The Juggalo Ninjas pose with the Kings fallen, bloody unconscious bodies like it’s a bad episode of “Weekend at Burnies”… but their intentions are clear! Juggalo Ninjas have the next championship shot! At “My Bloody Valentine II!!!”
The Juggalo Ninjas will challenge for the World Tag Titles!!!
Only at "My Bloody Valentine II!"!!!
******************
** BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE *
Humbled, broken and beaten Thumbtack Jack sulks silently… Generation ME walk by and mock him further… but as they’re walking away, Jack finally snaps… he follows them into the locker room where he can be seen wielding a SCALPEL…a horror movie / borderline dark comedy unfolds next as Jack corners the two pretty boys in the locker room, and ostensibly goes ballistic on them with the scalpel! Cameras can’t see through the walls, but through the crack of the door and the brutal sound effects and screams of Gen ME you can just imagine what horror and pain Thumbtack Jack is wreaking upon them right now!! A return to form for one of the most destructive, homicidal forces in Death Match wrestling!!!
Thumbtack Jack turns Trenchcoat Mafia and unleashes his fury upon his tormenters and bullies!!!
** CUT TO RING **
_________________________________________________________________
LOU THESZ & EZEKIEL JACKSON
versus
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS & MATT MORGAN
versus
Main event entrances for all 4 men… Thesz & Jackson enter solo, Rogers & Morgan together… announcers talk about Rogers bribing his way back into the championship picture at “My Bloody Valentine II”… a desperate bid from some desperate men, as Jack Pfefer knows he’ll be out of luck if they can’t retain the XPW Championship… Thesz out-wrestles Morgan, Jackson out powers Rogers, and we go to commercial break… when we’re back, Rogers has taken over on Jackson (after a missed corner charge) and is working his leg and ankle… Announcers explain the “Wall of Stone” match between Jackson & Morgan at “MBVII” is similar to a tables match - first man to put his opponent through a STONE WALL wins the match… Fans chant for Thesz… and Jackson… everything breaks down and goes crazy when Thesz locks Morgan in an STF at the same time Jackson hoists Rogers up into a Torture Rack backbreaker… Diamond Dynasty members Alex Riley and Missy Hyatt make the run-in and the match turns into a schmozz… no finish.
Winner: NONE (No Contest)
Post match, a wild brawl breaks out… MIZ gets involved… Wendy Richter & Cyndi Lauper add some color and toss Missy Hyatt from the mix… Jackson & Morgan brawl all through the stands and backstage… but Rogers winds up clocking Thesz in the back of the head with the Championship belt!!! Rogers leaves up the ramp alongside his manager Jack Pfefer, pointing to his brain power as Thesz is left seething in the ring to end the show…
** FADE OUT **
____________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed presents...
"MY BLOODY VALENTINE II"
** XPW Championship **
Lou Thesz versus "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers
Bruno Sammartino (1975) versus Samoa Joe (2007)
** XPW Television Championship **
The MIZ & Wendy Richter (w/ Cyndi Lauper) versus Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt
(Intergender "Valentine" Tag Team Match)
Big Shad G & Chris Candido vs Sheamus & Bam Bam Bigelow
(Tag Team Tables Match)
** XPW Tag Team Championship **
(Real) Kings of Wrestling (w/ Jessica Darlin) versus Juggalo Ninjas (w/ ICP)
(Xtreme Rulez Match)
Ezekiel Jackson versus Matt Morgan III
("Wall of Stone" Match)
** XPW Woman's championship **
Lizzy Borden versus Mildred Burke
(Steel Cage Match)
** XPW Boston championship **
John Cena (2012) versus William Muldoon (1887)
_______________________________________________________________________