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Post by MadStepDad on Jan 28, 2012 22:50:02 GMT -5
XPW Remixed presents...
(ANOTHER) NEW YEARS REVOLUTION!!! LIVE on PPV January 28th!!!
** HUGE Triple Threat TITLE UNIFICATION bout!!! ** Bruno Sammartino © vs Lou Thesz © vs "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers ©
Terry Funk versus Jon Moxley (Loser leaves XPW)
** XPW Tag Team Titles ** (Real) Kings of Wrestling © (w/ Jessica Darlin) vs BLKOut (w/ Annie Social) (Steel Cage Match)
Matt Morgan versus Ezekiel Jackson (Last Man Standing match)
** XPW Television Title ** Officer Cabana © vs The MIZ
Nick FN Gage vs Angel (w/ Tony Rumble) ("Mask" versus Mask match)
** King of the Death Match ** Original Sheik © vs Jun Kasai
Sheamus versus Triple Threat (Disband vs Join challenge)
** Boston Championship ** Jinder Mahal © vs William Muldoon
"Sick" Nick Mondo (2002) vs Sami Callihan (2011) vs Samoa Joe (2006) (Triple Threat "Glass Ceiling" Match)
JANUARY 28th, live only on PPV!!!
** Fade out **
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Post by MadStepDad on Jan 28, 2012 22:50:58 GMT -5
XPW Remixed exists within a demiplane of dread; a place where a single phone call, page, text, tweet or flitter (it’s from the future) can conjure 1200 rapid fanatics, flash mob style. Most XPW Remixed events are shrouded in secrecy until hours before entry. Once the flash point is ignited, fans flock to the spectacle. In some of the major cases, like tonight, an event location is announced ahead of time but the exact location is not confirmed until the very last moment.
Ladies and gentlemen!
LIVE from an undisclosed location in Boston MA!
XPW Remixed presents! (ANOTHER) NEW YEARS REVOLUTION Cut to the ringside announce team for the evening: Gordon Solie & Matt Striker PYRO! MUSIC! FANS! HYPE!!! THIS IS XPW REMIXED presents "(Another) New Years Revolution"!!! Earlier this evening…
Fans have been camping outside in large clusters of nomadic villages. Amongst the fans tonight is none other than the WEEDMAN, a perennial favorite of raves, gatherings and XPW Remixed events. He has a VERY IMPORTANT message for a VERY IMPORTANT member of the XPW Remixed hierarchy. Television cameras follow the Weedman in bomb reality TV style in his pass through the ecstatic XPW Remixed faithful just prior to event entry. His crazy hype voyage through the fans culminates in the Weedman stumbling into a tent featuring two scantily clad females wrestling in a tub of K-Y lubricant versus Curly Moe! The two girls are part of Hardbody Harrison’s “wrestling dojo”, and the colorful pimp cuts a quick angry, disparaging promo upon his opponent Mildred Burke (coming next week on XPW TV). In true Will Ferrell’s “Old School” meets Wizard of Oz style, Weedman recruits Curly Moe to help him deliver his VERY IMPORTANT message while Hardbody Harrison winds up dunked in the tub of K-Y and slapping around his hoes. Weedman has a very important message for a member of our staff tonight.** CUT TO RING ** _________________________________________________________________SAMI CALLIHAN (2011) vs. “SICK” NICK MONDO (2002) vs. SAMOA JOE (2006)(Triple Threat “Glass Ceiling Match”) vs. vs. This match starts off fast, with all three men making it clear there are no friends in this ring tonight. Joe gets knocked out to the floor early on, leaving Mondo and Callihan to battle each other. When Joe finally returns, he goes mostly for kicks and punches, then rolls out to the floor again. After Joe returns, Callihan locks in a dual submission – a camel clutch on Joe and a Boston crab on Mondo. Joe breaks it by biting Callihan’s fingers. Fan interaction is hot and heavy, as chants of “This is wrestling!” ring out loudly and proudly. Callihan also gets a lot of “NEW HORROR!” chants, while the old “Joe’s gonna kiiiIIIIIllll you!!!” routine is always popular. Mondo also seems to have his own cheering section, and “BEST of the BEST!” is called out when he’s on the offense. Sami Callihan follows Joe to the floor, and Joe gets him in a choke hold, but Mondo hits both with a bounding springboard plancha. The guardrails, steel ring steps and ring apron all get used in daring, creative fashion (with Mondo taking a series of unreal and painful bumps). They all return to the ring for more fast and furious action, and now Mondo gets more fan chants. While Callihan is briefly knocked out, Joe goes for a Boston Crab on Mondo, then switches to the STF, but “Sick” Nick Mondo makes it to the ropes. Callihan returns to action, and Joe goes out again, leaving Mondo and Callihan to battle it out. “Assault Driver” on Callihan leaves Mondo too tired to try for a pin. Springboard flying forearm by Mondo gets a two count on Joe. Just to take the "Glass Ceiling" concept literally, Mondo unsheathes the giant pane of glass from beneath the ring to growing crowd anticipation. They all have a few tease spots, before Mondo himself winds up ultra-dramatically taking the pitch through the glass pane like a Hollywood action film. A “clothesline from Hell” on Mondo gets only a two count for Callihan because Joe breaks it up. A series of near falls raises the tension and crowd excitement as all three show signs of exhaustion. Joe tries for a muscle buster, but Callihan reverses with a STO judo takedown, then hits Joe with the “Stretch Muffler” and tries for the submission. But Mondo hits the springboard 450 on Callihan’s back and pulls him off. Callihan gets ejected and “Sick” Nick Mondo is off the top rope for a somersault senton to Samoa Joe… but Joe CATCHES him and twists him into Muscle Buster in the center of the ring! Rear naked choke from Joe, and Mondo resists, but eventually taps out! Samoa Joe wins by submission and screams out for competition. As Callihan leaves, he shouts that Mondo didn’t pin him, signaling that the feud between "Best of the Best 1" competitors is far from over. Winner (by submission): SAMOA JOE** CUT ** *********************** ** BACKSTAGE SKIT **
Brutal, voyeurstic backstage footage of Olympia head coach William Muldoon being destroyed by Jinder Mahal and his Evil Empire!!! This beating puts Ron Bass ripping Brutus Beefcake apart with with his spurs seem tame! Nobody can stop the rampage of the Great Khali and Great Gama, who destroy XPW Remixed security and anybody else who tries to interfere! Meanwhile Jinder Mahal bloodies, bludgeons and beats William Muldoon - necessitating a stretcher job on the Olympia coaches behalf... he is DONE and Mahal escapes with his crew! The Evil Empire removes their opponent for the night! Their jihad has begun!** ABRUPT CUT TO RING ** ___________________________________________________________* King of the Death Match Championship *OG SHEIK © versus JUN KASAI versus The muthaphuckkin "Crazy Monkey" Jun Kasai“Death Match Wrestling”. Just the words alone are enough to cause a wave of emotion from wrestling fans. “Deplorable”, “depraved”, “unnecessary” or just flat-out “AWESOME” - Death Match wrestling is none the less part of our wrestling vernacular. Whether it’s the gory, crimson-stained heyday of Abdullah the Butcher & King Curtis Iaukea to the gimmick-filled brawls of Abyss & Bully Ray at TNA Genesis 2012 - hardcore “Death Match” wrestling still plays a very vital role in the full pro-wrestling entertainment spectrum. Never is that more prevalent in the Territory Wars then right here in XPW Remixed. And we have the crème-de-la-crème of Death Match wrestling, both past present and future. Tonight - an epic level rematch of the (hands down) greatest Death Match in XPW Remixed history (see “Night of Champions”) pits reigning (and politically imposed) “King of the Death Match” champion the original SHEIK (1969) versus the modern-day underground terror JUN KASAI (2012). In their first encounter at “Night of Champions”, Jun Kasai won and retained his belt… so tonight the odds are in his favor once more. Especially with Sheik’s American liaison The Grand Wizard still incapacitated. Both men get their major PPV-level entrances, and look ready for war. The smart marks in the crowd still recoil whenever the Sheik darts toward them.
The Sheik doesn’t have to wow you with his bump-taking (he leaves that part of the match in the more-than-capable hands of Jun Kasai), but his characteristics and mannerisms drive the crowd into heated frenzies. The lead pencil, the barbed wire strands, and ultimately the flash fireball all play a part in Sheik’s terrifying presentation. But in many ways, Kasai is just as horrifying. Especially when he strips down to a friggin thong in the middle of the match and winds up taking hella glass/tack/barbed wire drops completely unprotected… and apparently liking it. All hell breaks loose as we get our “brawl through the live crowd” part of the show that everybody likes. We also get to work in the PPV appearances of Abdullah the Butcher who attacks on behalf of the Sheik - and the Juggalo Ninjas team of Necro Butcher & Mad Man Pondo (w/ Insane Clown Posse) who show up to even the odds. We also get a cameo from the self-proclaimed “Sabu Hunter” Atsushi Onita who shows up with a tranquilizer gun aimed at his former fantasy apprentice Jun Kasai - but none other than SABU returns to extract his revenge from the man who shot him! (see XPW Online #10). SABU is back with an Arabian face buster for Onita from the balcony!!! With all the crowd-pleasing run-ins subsiding, it is the aforementioned flash fireball from the fingertips of the Sheik that blows Kasai from the top rope through a death-trap of burning tables, barbed wire and glass for the finish. Match is stopped on account of murder, and OG Sheik retains his title. Official score is now OG Sheik: 1 - Jun Kasai: 1.Winner (and STILL KotDM Champion): OG SHEIK SHEIK leaves a trail of dead bodies and scorched earth.** CUT BACKSTAGE ** ***************** VP of "The Commission" - Jack PfeferWeedman skit in Jack Pfefer’s office… the angry bitter promoter promises a long and bloody war will either come to an end tonight when Buddy Rogers wins the title… or just begin should he lose it… but just then The Grand Wizard’s annoying voice cuts through the air on visual speaker phone… TGW and Pfefer argue as Weedman and Curly Moe escape… where they meet up with the Human Tornado and his dance moves… hilarity ensues… What is Weedman's very important message? And who is it for?** FADE BACKSTAGE ** ____________________________________________________________________XPW Commissioner "Real Deal" Damien Steele shows up to the PPV with his secretary Jasmine St Claire... brief humorous encounter with the roving pack of Weedman, Curly Moe and Human Tornado that results in a stripped down Jasmine St Claire comparing cup sizes with Curly Moe before Damien Steele realizes the "very important" message is not for him and tosses everybody out of his office. But Weedman won't be deterred as his very important message must be delivered!!!** CUT TO RING ** ************** * XPW Television Championship *THE MIZ versus OFFICER CABANA © versus Officer Cabana works the crowd with a pre-match mic segmentThe entire pro wrestling spectrum continues to get a spotlight with this next energetic, charisma-infused affair that fills the story-telling and “sportz entertainment” quota of our show today. It all begins with Officer Cabana’s abrasive entrance (with his Television Title gripped tightly in a plastic bag marked “evidence”) and in-ring promo that finally draws out his opponent for the night (MIZ) to huge cheers. The mic specialists go off the cuff in a scene seemingly cut from a stand-up sketch routine, as two of the greatest talkers in wrestling history do what they do best – entertain. Part Richard Pryor part George Carlin, with enough clever pop culture references from the MIZ to constitute a true “battle of TV champions” – these two engage the crowd in hilarious banter that escalates to the match proper, where the Miz finds the favor of the crowd overwhelmingly in his favor (but it doesn’t hurt to have “F*** THE POLICE” chants working against your opponent either). Match cements Miz as a fan favorite and pop culture icon, as he and Cabana work together to create a solid and entertaining 6-minute affair for the fans. Everything from “Mork & Mindy” to “Hill Street Blues” is somehow referenced in this match, with Officer Cabana playing the over-exaggerated heelish foil to brilliant perfection. But Miz earns the “Golden Globe” tonight with his 5-star performance and ends his tour-de force with a “Skull Crushing Finale” for the win!!! We have a new TV champion, and the only 2x winner in XPW Remixed history!! Ladies & Gentleman the M-m-m-MAN of TV Land the MIZ!!! Winner (and NEW Television Champion): THE MIZ** CUT TO MAIN EVENT COMMERCIAL / PROMOS FROM ALL 3 MEN ** ________________________________________________________________SHEAMUS versus TRIPLE THREAT(Handicap Match “Disband versus Join” challenge)Versus Video package airs displaying the Triple Threat’s arrogant, disgraceful and disrespectful actions since their inception. Culminates with their interruption of O’Mahoney’s moment of silence (see XPW TV Episode #34). Their actions during this segment were so offensive, they were edited out of later Broadcasts of the show. Douglas and his crew were fined an unreported amount of money for what was deemed “an unauthorized shoot” on their behalf. But the ramifications of their actions have real-world consequences. Seemingly the entire world (especially all of Ireland) has united against the Triple Threat. The Irish in particular have suffered what can only be deemed a “Chael Sonnen to Brazil” affect upon the populace there (IE: “murderous nationalist rage”). So their big PPV entrance tonight is clouded by that controversy (with the proper armed-security in place) and Douglas, leading the charge, seems to revel in it. He smirks smugly as riot gear-clad armed guards escort them to the ring, dodging and block trash thrown from the crowd. Candido and Gilbert follow in wrestling gear, with a provocative Sunny and a street clothed Big Shad G following closely behind (with Big Shad G’s eyes firmly focused on Sunny’s behind, that she flaunts with full authority) as the announcers comment on their extra-cozy “working relationship” now that Big Shad G has signed on as group bodyguard and enforcer. Their hilarious flirtations have continued unrestrained and have been a focus of many Triple Threat sketches (with Candido being the incredulous, rebuffed boyfriend).
The PPV entrance of the “Celtic Warrior” Sheamus (no “Great White Power” racist bullshit in the XPW Remixed universe) is beyond emotional and intense. There is a brief moment of silence for O’Mahoney 2.0, a quick high-paced Irish medley/light & laser show, before the Dropkick Murphys start blasting through the arena soundsystem! Enter SHEAMUS!!!! His eyes tell the story of aggressive dedication and a willingness to die for the cause. This is Gladiator/300/Spartacus talk – the real life “don’t give a f***” shit. Where you know you’re going to die but pledge to bring as many of your enemies with you. Sheamus has that look in his eye tonight and it instantly translates to the countless fans watching live, on IPPV, bootleg pirated streams or downloading it from a file sharing network (RIP MegaUpload). Fortunately for Sheamus, “tag rules” still apply in this match so technically there isn’t supposed to be more than one man in the ring at any times. BUT it’s also elimination rules, so Sheamus actually has to dispose of all 3 of the Triple Threat members or face contractual imprisonment to them. A “slave”, if you will. Something the proud Irishman (fighting for the legacy of his people, land and friends and inspired by the FIRST Irish world champion of all time Danno O’Mahoney) would rather DIE than become.
Sheamus starts it off Tito Santana/Survivor Series 1990-style, by eliminating Eddie Gilbert with a Brogue Kick within the first 3.5 seconds of the match!!! Just like that Sheamus has dropped the challenge to 2 on 1! Oh my, Eddie Gilbert is incredulous! That leaves Candido & Douglas to take down Sheamus, but they fall in rapid succession to the inspired Celtic Warrior. But of course the numbers game (and ultimately Shad & Sunny’s interference) results in the heel beat down segment. Candido & Douglas do their duty but can’t keep Sheamus down. Tides change when an ill-timed attempt at interference by the flirtatious Sunny & Big Shad G leads to them being EJECTED from ringside and forced backstage! Something they may not even actually mind! (more alone time!) Of course this upsets Candido who is subsequently distracted and destroyed by Sheamus, leaving just Shane Douglas alone to combat him. Exciting, passion-filled performance from both men as the emotional chants of “DANNO! DANNO!” fill the arena from Boston-area fans. Sheamus even winds up kicking out of a Pittsburgh Plunge, and Shane Douglas is completely flustered. He calls back Eddie Gilbert from the locker room who returns with a steel chair. But Eddie Gilbert is intercepted by an uninvited guest…BAM BAM BIGELOW!!!Shock of all shocks!!! That’s BAM BAM BIGELOW!!! He spears Gilbert through a ringside barricade before he can strike Sheamus, and the crowd pops accordingly! He and Douglas exchange a few words on the ring apron, before Bigelow throws up the “Triple Threat” 3’s finger sign right in Douglas’ face before SOCKING him!!! Back in the ring, after an exciting chain of reversals and counters - Sheamus runs Douglas over with a Brogue Kick!!! 1!.. 2!.. 3!!! Sheamus has done it!!! An emotional victory that nearly brings the big man to tears!!! He thanks God, points to the sky at Danno watching down and celebrates with the contingent of immigrants and straight-up-off-the-boat Irish fans who came here for this very reason. Bam Bam applauds Sheamus and lets him have his moment to shine. Winner: SHEAMUS** CUT ** _________________________________________________________________MATT MORGAN versus EZEKIEL JACKSON(Last Man Standing Match) w/ versus Another phenomenal exchange between two twin towers of the game. Both men get brief backstage vignettes after the highlight video to state their case. Morgan (accompanied by Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt circa 1990) are the privileged, entitled “Varsity Villain”, Boiler Room, young dot-com millionaire douche bags for which the whole world revolves around. Ezekiel Jackson meanwhile is the strong, silent and stoic type. His few words speak of ominous intentions and crackle with subdued aggression. “Last Man Standing” matches on the whole promise a hellacious affair, and these two giants (with a distinct hatred for each other in XPW Remixed) certainly deliver. Arguably one of the best matches of the year already, and even better than their clash at “GENOCIDE”. A superplex on Morgan is a sight to see just from the sheer size of the two men. Or Matt Morgan leg dropping Ezekiel Jackson through the announce table. They have a stiff, physical affair punctuated by blunt objects like guard rails, ring steps and steel chairs. In the end, Alex Riley & Missy Hyatt’s anticipated run-in sends the match roaring to a conclusion. Hyatt’s loaded Gucci purse accidentally becomes a WMD in Jackson’s hand, KO’ing Riley and even Morgan for good. But it takes a “Book of Ezekiel” standing uranage - off the entrance ramp through the side stage floor - before Jackson delivers the coup de’grace… in a Herculean display of strength Jackson pushes over the stone wall of the entrance ramp onto Morgan, burying him under the debris and trapping him in place! The 10-count is made and of course Morgan cannot return to his feet! Final visual of Big Zeke pounding his chest in animalistic fury while smeared with blood, and standing over the debris of his dominated opponent will become part of his XPW Remixed entrance video. All the reversals, close finishes, “Hellavaters” and “book of Ezekiels” combined to give the closing minutes of this match it’s epic-level sheen. Winner: EZEKIEL JACKSON Big Zeke is the last man standing tonight!!!__________________________________________________________________TERRY FUNK versus JON MOXLEY(“Loser Leaves XPW”) versus They start with staple of disrespect here as Jon Moxley literally SPITS on Terry Funk - igniting the Texas wild horse. Nasty chops in the corner from Funk, that literally skins the shirt and then skin off Moxley‘s chest. Moxley misses a lariat, and Funk nails him. Terry locks on the spinning toe hold, but is knocked off and Moxley pummels Funk with elbows, following up with a leg drop from the ring apron. He then goes up top and hits a legdrop on Funk for 2 ¾. Moxley gets up on the apron for more punishment, and Funk pounds away at Moxley’s head with the trash can on it, and a roaring elbow as well! Funk goes up… and a moonsault crushes Moxley in the trash can! But Moxley STILL kicks out!!! The visceral appeal of the oldest dog in the fight.Match continues in stiff, shit-kicking fashion with the legend Terry Funk handling an opponent many consider a new-school version of Funk himself. Moxley bleeds like a stuck pig and Funk quickly joins him. A blast from the ring bell hits Funk’s head like a gunshot and suddenly the entire complexion of the match changes. Moxley stomps on the already dead Funk, and nails him with the bell. Funk is whipped, and takes the drop toe hold into the chair. Moxley hits Funk in the face with the chair… and a ringside doctor coming into the ring to help Funk… Terry‘s head is literally spilling and pooling blood upon the mat. The crowd chant for Funk. The doctor continues the match after Funk refuses to go down, and Moxley kicks his ass some more. Now Moxley goes outside to set up a table. The doctor, the announcers (and even some of the fans) want Terry to stop, but Moxley takes Funk out of the ring and pounds on him, ignoring the doctor. He puts Terry on the table, and hits a running pescado, putting Funk through the table! The doctor comes in once again, and he calls for the match to stop, but Moxley punches him away! Funk is shoved back into the ring, as Moxley mocks Terry‘s jabs. The Street Dog JON MOXLEYMoxley hits Funk with a chair, and then permanently disables him with a piledriver! Moxley gets on the mic, and says that he is going to throw Funk off the commentary booth, down through three tables, and out of XPW Remixed for good!… "I’m gonna end his comeback, his career, and it’s gonna be right in front of your face!!!"… Back up in the commentary booth, Moxley grabs Terry like he’s going to chokeslam him down through those tables. But Funk saves himself with a low blow and throws Moxley through the tables instead!! Waves of “TERR-YYY!!!” and “XPW! XPW!” chants permeate the arena, and linger long and loud as a battered, beaten and bloodied Terry Funk makes his way back into the ring - HIS ring. Funk wants Moxley in the ring right now, and here he comes! Dragging his bloody, battered carcass through the debris! Moxley tries to hold him off with a trash can, but Funk nails Moxley with a DDT. Funk crawls over… but he only gets a 2.99! Funk in frusteration tries to come back with the spinning toe-hold, but Moxley rolls him up for the victory!!!! Jon Moxley has banished Funk from XPW Remixed! The Funker wears a crimson mask and a look of crushing loss. The fans start chanting "TERRY!!!" and soaks in their standing ovation. Finally the tense face-off between Funk and Moxley to end the match... where Funk sticks out the hard-earned "handshake of respect"!!! Crowd cheers! But Moxley fakes and SPITS in Terry's eye again!!! He dives out of the ring while XPW security collapse upon Funk! He's so riled up he has to be literally handcuffed by police and removed from the arena! How many times has Funk been arrested and removed XPW grounds??? But this may be the last time, as Moxley flaunts, taunts and celebrates his victory while the crowd hysteria rains down upon him. Funk is outta here... Long live the new "Street Dog" of XPW Remixed Jon Moxley... Winner: JON MOXLEY** FADE OUT ** ******************** Weedman continues to drag the camera man on his odyssey to deliver his very important message… this time their shenanigans find them crashing the set of a professional press conference.. XPW Remixed president (East Coast) ED “STRANGLER” LEWIS is here preparing a speech! Brief interplay with the three stooges ends with Ed Lewis putting Curly Moe in his famous “strangle hold” (a choke hold, side headlock-style) and throwing everybody off the set. But not before uttering a few ominous words about “those who crave competition” and promising to rinse XPW Remixed of all it’s dead weights even if he has to come out of retirement and take the belt himself... ** CUT TO RING ** ____________________________________________________________________ANGEL (w/ Tony Rumble) versus NICK GAGE(“Mask” versus Mask match) w/ versus Video recap highlights Gage’s entire feud with Rumble (including the “Sammartino Invitational”), finally culminating with the debut of ANGEL and subsequent “mask” versus mask challenge. Match is like a violent home invasion. They start slugging it out right away as Tony Rumble riles up the fans outside the ring. Angel backs Gage into a turnbuckle but is whipped into the other corner. They exchange clubbing blows and punches in and out of the corner. A straight slobber knocker from the start. Angel chokes him out but Gage comes back and runs him over. Angel rises right back up and Gage goes for a suplex but it is reversed. They go back and forth, pummeling each other but Angel has most of the offense; he bodyslams Gage and then goes up top and strikes with a top rope clothesline. Gage is knocked to the floor where Rumble gets his licks in. Back inside the ring and Angel is just choking Gage to death here, before snapping him and dropping him over one knee. He pulls the bandanna off Gage’s face and continues the mugging. Gage fights up but gets pounded some more and is chokeslammed. At the behest of Tony Rumble, Angel rolls to the floor and retrieves a crowbar. Angel has a crowbar and is willing to use it on Gage with violent intentions. But Gage hit’s a lowblow (proving Angel is indeed a male), and clubs him with the crowbar! A bad-ass bully beat down on Angel with the crowbar, and the crowd is loving every minute of it. Tony Rumble up on the apron and he too eats a crowbar shot that takes him OUT! Back in the ring Gage clotheslines Angel and sets him up for the steel chair piledriver and the crowd erupts! But Mondo Kleen (aka “Damien Demento”), one of Tony Rumble’s “Whack Pack”, makes the run-in and attack. Gage brawls with him until Angel recovers and they double-team Gage. But a crowbar shot goes awry - Mondo Kleen winds up getting accidentally KO’d by Angel - and Gage hit’s a brain buster followed by a top rope frog splash for the pin!!! Gage wins, and flees back into the safety of the thriving XPW Remixed masses who welcome him with open arms! The escaped convict Gage survived being captured for another day! Winner: NICK FN GAGEPost match, the big dramatic "sportz entertainment" sketch unfolds - complete with mood lighting, emotional refusal from Angel, his derogatory abandonment by Tony Rumble, and finally... the big reveal...Ladies, and gentlemen introducing to XPW Remixed... THE FRENCH ANGEL!!!** CUT ** ________________________________________________________________________* XPW Tag Team Championships *(REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING © (w/ Jessica Darlin) versus BLKOUT (w/ Annie Social)(Steel Cage Match) w/ Versus w/ Jessica Darlin: valet to the (Real) Kings of WrestlingScott: The long awaited two-on-two re-match between the top two teams on the roster. No slight against the BLKOut, but after losing the straps at ”Genocide” they’ve been shunted down the card a little. The BLKOut have been chasing (Real) Kings of Wrestling, and after a hellacious TLC match at ”Genocide” we have this battle in a cage. After getting screwed with continuous cheating and shortcuts, the risk-takers from the East Coast battle for the straps for the first time in a cage. The stipulations were both men had to leave the cage, and once a participant is out, he can’t go back in. This led to some very tense moments. However, a con-chair-to to Sabian’s head finishes them off, and we have reigning champions. Great match, a little short of the TLC, but great nonetheless. Grade: 4Justin: The tag team wars rage on for another month as the BLKOut look to knock off the kings of the tag division. The (Real) Kings of Wrestling have had a stranglehold on the tag titles since ”Genocide”. Here, BLKOut get them in a cage and, just eleven months removed from their breakout match together at ”Liberty or Death”, finally take the fight to their arch-nemeses. It was an interesting match, as Ruckus escaped the cage within the first few minutes and the majority of the match was a big heat spot on Sabian as Austin & Gunner worked him over big time in the cage. Austin Idol escaped next and eventually a ladder is pulled out. Jessica Darlin attempts to climb it to help Gunner, but Annie Social makes her return and takes Jessica out with a hurricanrana off the ladder. But Idol & Gunner still polish Sabian off by giving him a con-chair-to on top of the cage, sending him crashing back to the mat. The (Real) Kings of Wrestling reigned supreme and are standing tall in the tag division, but there will be some interesting and confusing twists and turns over the next month. Grade: 4Winner (and STILL XPW Tag Champions): (REAL) KOW(Real) KoW may come away with the belts but Annie Social always pleases)______________________________________________________________________ * Boston Championship *JINDER MAHAL © versus … versus … ? ? ? Video recap of the Evil Empire’s rise to power… the stalking of William Muldoon and his Olympia with Raesha Saeed as the omen… the surprise challenge from Great Khali… return of the undefeated Great Gama… and ultimately, the Jinder Mahal championship cash-in on former Boston Champion William Muldoon @ “GENOCIDE”… ends with the tyrannical, potentially career-ending savagery suffered by Muldoon at their hands earlier this evening… writing him out of the match tonight and possibly Fantasy Wrestling for good… By the time their theme song blasts through the arena sound system, the crowd is alive with riotous rage. Despite their actions earlier, the Evil Empire has the absolute gall to show up live tonight in Boston - with Jinder Mahal treating the Boston Championship belt like a hostage (dragging, striking and disrespecting it). The colossal Great Khali and brutish caveman Great Gama behind him cuts an intimidating sight, while the mysterious and evil Raesha Saeed lurks amongst them. Waves of XPW Security usher them to ringside. The crowd nearly drowns out his sermon with their boos, but Mahal switches to English with his promo and absolutely slays the Boston crowd with his mic work. This is late 50’s riots in the stands/’70s armory shankings/ late 90s Dudley Boyz type of heat here, with fans literally bursting out of their seats to show their disdain for Mahal, his crew, his mission and their actions. But Mahal seems to be thriving on it, using their bile as rocket fuel for his wild-eyed monarchial rants. Perhaps driven mad by his own base of power, and invigorated by the hatred around him, Mahal even taunts Boston with an “open challenge”. People are actually getting thrown out of the building now for trying to scale the guard rails to fight him. “Give me anybody in XPW Remixed! I don’t care WHO it is!!!”OH MY FN GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s!….
It’s!…
JOHN CENA!!!The Honky Tonk Man/Summer slam ‘88 moment is complete, as muthaphuckkin JOHN CENA blasts through the entrance curtain to possibly the loudest pop in the known multiverse. The crowd is rocking in WAVES in the background as Cena streaks to the ring, dominates the Empire and disposes of Jinder Mahal with a good old fashioned “FU” for the pinfall. All in about 20 seconds. A patriot missile has just struck the Evil Empire from the rear, reducing their kingdom to rubble! Mahal and camp are SHOCKED! The crowd has gone BALLISTIC! And Cena is mobbed by screaming, celebrating fans as the Empire has to be quickly gathered up and ushered backstage to avoid confrontations with the public! This is like fans mobbing Larry Bird on the court in ’86, or the Red Sox riots of 2004. Boston Bruins 2011, New England Patriots 2001, City of Champions type shit right here. JOHN FN CENA has come to XPW Remixed and liberated the Boston Championship!!!! Winner (and NEW Boston Champion): JOHN CENA!?!?!____________________________________________________________________* MAIN EVENT *
* Title Unification Bout *BRUNO SAMMARTINO © vs LOU THESZ © vs “NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS © vs. vs. Thesz goes after Rogers, Bruno goes after Rogers then Thesz rolls up Sammartino! Bruno slams Thesz and he rolls out the ring. Sammartino and Rogers battle for a while then Sammartino sends the “Nature Boy” to the floor with a wicked clotheline over the top rope. Crowd is split equally, but cheers Sammartino unequivocally for that move. Bruno & Thesz then get the big dramatic center-ring staredown that draws goosebumps from the viewing audience. But Buddy Rogers sneaks in and attacks them from behind, driving Bruno from the ring and focusing on the legs of Thesz. He hangs him on the ropes but Thesz avoids the attack. Sammartino trips up Rogers and Thesz gives him an elbow drop. Sammartino & Thesz double team Rogers to huge cheers, but Bruno grabs Thesz and literally hurls him over the top rope like a sack of potatoes! Bruno tries for a pinfall on Rogers but can’t get it. Outside the ring Bruno shoves Thesz into the barricade. He goes after Rogers and slams his head on the other side barricade. Bruno rolls him back into the ring and catches Thesz on the ring apron. Both men try to suplex each other over the rope to either side, but Rogers trips up Bruno which in turn hangs Sammartino off the ropes in a wicked drop. Bruno tries to force a submission from Buddy with his backbreaker, the same move that ended their very first fight for the WWWF championship.
Thesz works on the shoulder of Buddy Rogers with an armbar as the crowd chants for him. He continues the pressure but Rogers fights back; Thesz ducks two clotheslines from Buddy but Sammartino catches him for a backbreaker. Thesz gets knocked back down to the floor when he tries to get back in. Sammartino splashes Rogers near a corner for a two-count. He beats Buddy down until he rolls out the ring. Thesz attacks Rogers as he rolls out the ring by slamming his face off the announce table. Matt Striker points out that there are no disqualifications or count-outs in a triple threat match. Sammartino gives Rogers a back suplex inside the ring for a two-count, then applies the over-the-shoulder backbreaker yelling GIVE UP!!!! Thesz breaks up the hold and avoids Bruno charging at him. Rogers comes in to slam Thesz but Lou gets out and shoves him into Bruno's ribs. Thesz is on offense against both men and boots them in the face.Another spectacular counter by the wrestling machine and Shooters Club captain Lou Thesz
Thesz knocks Rogers off the apron and he falls onto the announce table, Sammartino rolls him up for two, then he misses the elbowdrop and Thesz drops him backwards for 2. Bruno gets shoved into the corner and Thesz chops the shit out of him, but Bruno fires back with a series of rocking forearms and European uppercuts that have the Italian population in Boston going CRAZY!!!! Thesz and Sammartino finally have their long-awaited segment, as Rogers rests outside the ring. The crowd is split 50/50 (maybe 45/55 in favor of da Brune) and start a series of dueling chants. Thesz sets up the Thesz Press, but Sammartino CATCHES him and twists him into a power slam! On the mat Bruno starts sinking in a rear naked chock! But Thesz rolls through, rolls through, and scrambles until he can get to the ropes for a break. But Bruno muscles him BACK into the center of the ring!!! Thesz is in danger of passing out but Buddy Rogers is back in to break things up! He has the jump on Bruno and now Rogers gets a chance to work both his opponents over. Rogers is a heat machine, and everything from his cocky strut to antagonizing mannerisms are on full display tonight. "To a nicer guy it couldn't happen!!!"
Thesz later counters a Buddy Rogers Figure-4 attempt into Lou’s own STF!!! But Sammartino runs in, and suddenly HE suffers the STF! Rogers grabs Thesz and plants him with the Impaler DDT. Sammartino kicks Rogers in the gut as both men struggle to their feet, and looks to launch Rogers over the top rope with an Awesome Bomb!!! But Rogers counters the powerbomb with a DDT. Rogers backs into a corner and sets up a running punt to Bruno’s head (ala Randy Orton circa 2010), but Thesz cuts him off! Thesz catches Rogers with a fishersmans suplex for 2 but Bruno connects with a Dominator!!! Rogers rolls out the ring and Bruno stalks Thesz for the over-the-shoulder backbreaker attempt… but Thesz reverses OUT of the backbreaker and hit’s a backstabber! Rogers is so desperate at this point that he’s grabbed a steel chair! He swings at Bruno, clanging the chair off his head with concussive force!!! Another one for Thesz! Bruno has been PINNED and eliminated by Buddy Rogers!!! Crowd boos that decision heavily, but Rogers is a tactical genius and applauds his own acumen. Thesz & Rogers battle down to the wire.
Now Thesz is on the defense as Rogers just gets mean with the steel chair-assisted brutality. He focuses on the surgically rebuilt knee of Thesz and draws BANNANNAS crowd heat. But with Rogers signaling for the Figure-4, Thesz uses a desperate rapid-fire drop toe-hold on Rogers that sends him to the mat face-first into his own steel chair! Thesz cinches in the STF extra tight!!! The crowd is going crazy!!! Rogers teases the tap before finally relenting and pounding the mat!!! Lou Thesz has done it!!! He keeps the STF locked in extra tights for a few moments longer, until refs literally PRY him off Rogers body. The crowd cheers as now balloons and confetti begin falling from the ceiling! Lou Thesz has done it!!! He’s become the first man to unify the fractured denizens of the XPW Remixed universe! Lou Thesz is the true Undisputed champion in all of fantasy wrestling!!!! Winner (and UNDISPUTED CHAMPION): Lou Thesz!!!_________________________________________________________________Weedman cuts through the throngs of celebrating fans to finally find his target and deliver his VERY IMPORTANT message... from the entire XPW Remixed universe...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MSD!!!CREDITS:SCOTT & JUSTIN: Unforgiven 2000 recap
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