Post by MadStepDad on Dec 1, 2011 21:26:45 GMT -5
Ill video recap that takes you from the depths of Ravenloft despair (The Cannibal Cartel, Ian Rotten, "Halloween in Hell", The Commission, Triple Threat...)... all the way to the light of hope leading the future (the Messiah, Shooters Club, Bruno Sammartino...) "RAPTURE" is here!!!
** PYRO!!! **
Cut to the ringside announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
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SWITCHBLADE CONSPIRACY
vs
(REAL) KINGS of WRESTLING
(Jessica Darlin up for grabs)
versus
Jessica Darlin enters first with her new solo montage and theme song ("Kitty Box" by Lil Kim). At ringside XPW Officials usher her hesitantly into the small cage waiting for her (like the ones exotic dancers are housed in). She blows ringside fans a kiss. This entrance is followed by Switchblade Conspiracy (BOOO) and then the (Real) Kings of Wrestling, Idol & Shatter (YAAAAY!) Formulaic tag match with added intensity and emotion over the cupcake in the cage jiggling her tush. Sportz Entertainment finish with Jon Moxley being the one to physically BREAK the cage open with bolt cutters just to harass and harangue Jessica Darlin further. Like an abusive boyfriend, he jerks her by the arm and demands they leave the match early with her! Jessica Darlin winds up in full fellatio position before Jon Moxley, like she's gonna whip it out and blow him right there - but instead BITES HIS BALLS!!! Big crowd pop for the perverted display, Sami Callihan winds up eating the (Real) KoW's tag team finisher in the middle of the ring, and Jessica Darlin has made her choice felt! Jon Moxley is STILL clutching his balls on the outside of the ring!!! Jessica Darlin joins Idol & Shatter in the center of the ring where she caresses both of them and they eye her with voracious intent.
Winners: REAL KINGS of WRESTLING
Jessica Darlin
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** XPW Television Championship **
CHRIS CANDIDO (w/ Sunny) versus THE MESSIAH ©
versus
Chris Candido & Sunny get a BodyDonna-ish promo on the video wall to set up the match, and put over their "Hollywood Appeal". When they get their in-arena entrance they are serenaded with loud boos. Once in the ring, none other than the BANNED Eddie Gilbert starts making a big spectacle of coming through the crowd to take his seat amongst the fans! That's right, Eddie Gilbert bought a ticket to the show! He's furiously flashing it in the face of all the XPW Security guards who are hassling him and trying to keep angry fans away! Candido & Sunny scream to "LET HIM STAY!" but it's to no avail. None other than XPW Remixed president (East Coast) ED "STRANGLER" LEWIS makes an in-person appearance to make a formal ruling! Despite Gilbert purchasing his own seat, the company reserves the right to ban or eject any fan from the premises! Therefore Eddie Gilbert must be REMOVED! So he screams and kicks and fights it until security and off-duty cops literally have to HANDCUFF and remove him! All along fans sing the "nnaaa naaa hey hey GOODBYE!" song! Candido & Sunny are furious, and the crowd is now suitably pumped for Messiah's entrance. Epic-level PPV entrance for the reigning TV champion. Great one-on-one match, and a reminder that amidst all the chaos and hubris of "pro wrestling" there remains that one underlying motivation - competition. Territory Wars fans may not realize, but this is not Chris Candido & Sunny's first go-round with XPW. They are both charter members of XPW Original, and as a matter of fact - the very first "Candido vs Messiah" match is included as an "Extra" on the XPW Original DVD "Best of the Black Army". The original match was from 5/28/2000, and represents a snapshot of Chris Candido at his fantasy XPW Remixed best. Dude is friggin JACKED. I mean, like a mini-Big Poppa Pump. If this guy was 6 inches taller with that build, he'd have been a main eventer for life. As it is, he's stuck looking like an extremely swelled-up cruiserweight, even though his superhuman physique looks stunning in 3D/HD clarity. Candido busts out all the old Smoky Mountain heat tactics - stalling, arguing with the ref, having Sunny engage the fans at ringside and keep them interested in the match. Meanwhile Messiah is his usual daring, breathtaking self. Their first match way back in 2000 ended in a pinfall for Messiah after outside interference. Tonight, it's much of the same - except now it's a Godsmack (spinning TKO into a stunner) from the top rope and it's DESPITE Sunny's attempt at outside interference. Messiah wins clean to continue raising his stock, while putting another bullet hole in the Triple Threat's title aspirations.
Winner (and STILL XPW Television Champion): THE MESSIAH
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** XPW Boston Championship **
WILLIAM MULDOON © vs SHANE DOUGLAS
vs O'MAHONEY 2.0
(Triple Threat Match)
versus versus
Back to the Triple Threat locker room, where Shane Douglas is raging against the machine (as a humbled, stunned and defeated Candido & Sunny walk in behind him). Douglas cuts another intense, shouting promo into the camera - shooting on the "Old Boys Network" in the Territory Wars and even dropping an "F" bomb on live PPV!!! Douglas promises to end the tyranny tonight and marches to ringside. Big boos. A rekindled Danno O'Mahoney 2.0 enters next to a sizable ovation. Most contemporary wrestling fans seem to understand and embrace his eccentric and violent change of attitude. Finally, William Muldoon enters last (finally settling in on "Shipping up to Boston" by the Dropkick Murphys for his entrance them) to one of the biggest crowd pops of the night. In some wrestling circles his matches may have been seen as "boring", but after immersing himself in the XPW Remixed pantheon of wrestling Gods he's mastered everything from American boxing to Jui Jitsu and Lucha Libre. William Muldoon is perhaps the most well-rounded competitor in XPW Remixed today. He demonstrates those skills tonight, in this very exciting match. The three men go all out in an excellent display of 3-way wrestling. In the end, that annoying miscreant Eddie Gilbert appears AGAIN from the crowd - this time to attack Danno O'Mahoney outside the ring. But the mad Irishman is ready, and takes off after Gilbert with his hockey stick! Gilbert flees through the crowd (w/ O'Mahoney 2.0 hot on his trail) while Shane Douglas falls victim to an Anaconda Vice from Muldoon in the center of the ring! He taps out!!! Postmatch, William Muldoon is joined by his Olympia camp (Mil Mascaras, Hakushi, Alexxis Nevaeh & Tomasso Ciampa) who hoist him aloft on their shoulders.
Winner (and STILL Boston champion): WILLIAM MULDOON
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** XPW Tag Team Championship **
BLKOut © (w/ Annie Social) versus GENERATION ME
versus
Some of the most dynamic, dangerous, high-flying, X-Division/Cruiserweight-style wrestling in the Territory Wars today. These two teams are the Black & White/ Ying & Yang / Chocolate & Vanilla of the XPW Remixed tag team division. Or maybe more like "oil & water", as Solie says on commentary. BLKOut get their full PPV entrance tonight, complete with whiteboy frontman Robbie Mireno (like a wigger-version of Ricardo Rodrigues) and sexy hood chick valet Annie Social. After an intense, high-octane match, BLKOut pin GenME after stereo 450's with both brothers stacked on top of each other. BLKOut - Sabian & Ruckus - show once again that when they are free of their legal constraints and allowed to compete - they are the best in the world at what they do. Straight G shit.
Winners (and STILL XPW Remixed Tag Team Champions): BLKOUT
______________________________________________________________________________
BEANTOWN BEATDOWN
"Boston Bad Boy" Tony Rumble has taken over the ring with his band of miscreants (Mondo Kleen, the masked "Angel" and bratty Sammi Lane). Rumble has the mic and is IRATE he was excluded from the PPV tonight - especially after the winning streak he's orchestrated as of late! So right here right now, Rumble is HIJACKING the PPV and DEMANDING competition tonight! Open challenge!!! Just then, the ominous video screen begins to play...
Introducing to XPW Remixed...
SAMOA JOE!!!
MONDO KLEEN (w/ Tony Rumble) vs.... SAMOA JOE!!! (DEBUT!!!)
versus
Quick, brutish squash match that features the debuting Samoa Joe running through Mondo Kleen with an assortment of stiff, MMA-inspired strikes before finishing with a muscle buster/rear naked choke combo for the tap out! The crowd was still on their feet for his surprise entrance by the time Kleen finally tapped! Samoa Joe just hard stares Rumble and his crew, and the masked monster "Angel" (kind of like a Mankind 1996) doesn't even enter the ring! Samoa Joe leaves as he came - without a word. His actions have spoken much louder.
Winner: SAMOA JOE
_____________________________________________________________________
** King of the Death Match **
ORIGINAL SHEIK (w/ TGW) vs SABU
(Hell Fire Death Match)
versus
The Grand Wizard takes the risk of appearing live tonight in the ring. He is eager for Sabu to no-show so he can ban him from another state, but Sabu does appear through the crowd (with a bandage still on his face from the burns). Ring is set ablaze when he rolls in and we're off. Not much "wrestling", more pushing, shoving, jumping and fire teases than anything. But the ever-growing ring of fire heats the action up accordingly. They have a violent exchange, that ends with a top-rope Sabu ignoring the flames (and a prone, and very-much defeated OG Sheik) to acknowledge the fans lust and get at evil tormentor TGW just one last time. Sabu sacrifices the match and himself to tackle The Grand Wizard into the flames, setting the turban-wearing "Commission" mastermind ON FIRE!!! The Grand Wizard is literally on fire, running and screaming as the flames engulf him. He is lost amidst a sea of fire exstinguisher blasts and XPW Security personnel, as a now smoldering (but still smiling?) Sabu has made one last suicide attempt to take out TGW. He succeeded, even though he gave up the match by setting himself on fire. It was worth it to him. So even though OG Sheik may be hoisting the KotDM title aloft right now, he is without his American liason and left in awe by his nephews power and desire. OG Sheik knows he is lucky to be left breathing tonight.
Winner: ORIGINAL SHEIK
******************
Coming to XPW TV...
"The Best of the Best" tournament! Another XPW Remixed innovation within Mash-Up Wrestling! Stay tuned to XPW TV next week for the kick-off!!!
** CUT TO RING **
____________________________________________________________________________
** "Best of 7" Series Match #7 **
LOU THESZ vs B-BOY (w/ Ad Santel)
(Submission Match)
versus w/
The big blow-off match to the Shooters Club/ Cali Cripplers feud. Former mentor Lou Thesz tangles with his turncoat student "The New Age Punisher" B-Boy in a submission match. Full of tumbles, reversals, scrambles and submission attempts - this match is one of pure mat beauty. Outside the ring, Ad Santel (with his arm in a cast and sling) shouts instructions and riles the fans up. Match gets so good, Cali Crippler members the Uso's (w/ Tamina) just have to join ringside to watch up close and personal (and add more tension to the proceedings). Especially when Thesz' boys Dan Severn & Drake Younger stroll down to ringside to get a better view as well. Everybody is angrily and cautiously eyeing each other. Then Adam Pearce comes down to join Santel and crew. So Masahiko Kimura comes down for Thesz. With both camps looking on, Thesz & B-Boy put on a wrestling clinic that Lou Thesz wins clean in the center of the ring with an STF! Thesz gets his vengeance and proves his camp is the best in wrestling!!!
Winner: LOU THESZ
_____________________________________________________________________
NEW JACK & POGO the CLOWN
vs
ALEX RILEY & JACK SWAGGER
(Jailhouse Match)
versus
Fun, weapon-filled brawl that fills our "brawl through the audience" portion of the show tonight. Swagger & Riley hold their own, but the emotion of the crowd is just too strong against them. New Jack & Pogo rally before taping Alex Riley to a table (with rows and rows of criss-crossing masking tape) and unleashing a New Jack balcony dive upon him again. New Jack & Pogo win to big cheers, but the highlight of the "match" is the postmatch extracurriculars. With Riley & Swagger "resisting arrest", the humorous OFFICER COLT CABANA has to enter (with the taser) to subdue and cuff both men! From there, it's Mountie/Boss Man from Summerslam 1991 all over again. Riley & Swagger are arrested, maced, transported, booked and THROWN IN THE PEN! Both of them are practically CRYING in anger, frustration (and after Big Bubba and Louie approach them in their cells) absolute FEAR!!!!
Winners: NEW JACK & POGO the CLOWN
____________________________________________________________________________
TERRY FUNK (1997) versus THE MIZ (2011)
(Street Fight)
versus
Fun Fact: There was a long buildup for this match, most of which featured Terry Funk on the sidelines, as he was trying his best to get into better condition to prove he could still hang with the big boys. Ever since the newly christened Diamond Dynasty Era began, Funk was one of the locker room leaders that was vociferously against the whole idea, and he made sure to tell The Commission every chance he had. So, the stage was officially set: a Street Fight at "RAPTURE.
Scott: Throughout the second half of XPW Remixed Season One, The MIZ was trying to prove to everyone he was the next top heel in professional wrestling. His matches weren't bad, but many thought he wasn't at the level of Steve Austin, Mick Foley, or the Rock. This match was the Miz's coming-out party. The perfect guy to put Miz over is Terry Funk. However, he needed to be in the nastiest, craziest of his personas. Now, both men are even more experienced and this one was balls to the wall. A sick spot in this match worth noting: Miz suplexing Terry Funk three consecutive times on wooden palates, a garbage can, and the stairs. Holy shit, that was stiff. Funkin fact gets a piece of his leg ripped out on the wooden palate. On the DVD extras, they show him getting stitches from it. Ouch. They also toss around a 2X4 with barbed wire. They even re-enact the 1999 WWF title match for a moment, as Miz handcuffs Funk and starts whacking him with a chair. Not as severe as Rock hit Mankind, but close. This was a perfect, sick brawl for the XPW faithful. Funk does a nasty, man-size blade job, with the blood soaking his hair. Funk even kicks out of a Skull Crushing Finale, but then gets hit with a second one, on a pile of fucking thumbtacks, and Miz finally finishes him off. An insane brawl that proves Miz belongs with the main eventers, and cements Terry Funks legacy. Grade: 5
Justin: Just an awesome, sick, unbelievable brawl that sets the standard for all future brawls that will ever occur. These two just let loose and beat the absolute shit out of each other. The crowd is absolutely off the hook, especially when Funk gets un-handcuffed and starts making his comeback, and again after he kicks out of the first Skull Crushing Finale. Terry Funk had one job in this match: make the Miz a top of the line, undeniable top mega heel, and he accomplishes that goal without a shadow of a doubt. Funk proves once again that he is a true professional, and he makes the Miz's career with this one match and Miz would definitely capitalize on the opportunity. This was a tremendous job by everyone and one of the true classics in wrestling history. Grade: 5
Winner: THE MIZ
__________________________________________________________________________
** XPW Remixed Championship (West Coast) **
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS (1963) ©
versus
EZEKIEL JACKSON (2012)
versus
Earlier in the night, backstage vignettes caught the Diamond Dynasty together. First Miz was trying to convince Riley & Swagger to ditch Rogers and help him in his match against Funk tonight, before Rogers sauntered into the scene and Miz completely changed his tune. Now Miz says he can beat Funk all alone while Rogers doubts the sincerity of his team. But Buddy Rogers made a million dollar guarantee, and boy oh boy does he deliver tonight. After another breathless, billion dollar entrance by the "Nature Boy" we are treated to a 5-star classic by these two forces. Rogers & Jackson take the wrestling world to school with a classic, back-n-forth clash of a pure heel taking on one of the most popular babyface destroyers in the Territory Wars today. It is written in the fans faces all across the world - tonight is Big Zeke's time. That certainly seems to be the case at the end when Zeke finally overcomes all of Rogers nefarious cheating and submission holds to unleash his finishing barrage. But shock of all shocks - a huge 7 foot tall insurance policy makes his presence felt, when none other than "THE BLUEPRINT" MATT MORGAN makes a surprise appearance to run down Big Zeke, and crush his head in between the steel ring post and a running Size 15 boot!!! Jackson is rolled into the ring where he is easy pickings for the Nature Boy!!! He didn't need Miz, Riley or Swagger after all! Buddy Rogers had a million dollar guarantee the whole time - THE BLUEPRINT!!!!
Winner (and STILL XPW Remixed champion): "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS
The newest member of the Diamond Dynasty... MATT MORGAN!!!
Boos, trash and chants of "BULL***" overtake the broadcast, forcing a cut to the Sammartino/Gage video package.
** CUT **
_____________________________________________________________________
** XPW Remixed Championship (East Coast) **
BRUNO SAMMARTINO © versus NICK GAGE
versus
Finally it's main event time, and XPW Remixed produces what it's best known for - unforgiving, unadulterated combat ACTION. Both men get huge cheers for their entrance, and a dueling "BRUUUNO!! / "NICK FN GAGE"! chant even breaks out before they lock up. Great, stiff main event match that has both men laying it all out on the line for the chance to be called XPW Remixed champion. Neither man will quit or relent and what we are left with is a potential match of the year candidate. Storyline drama gets sprinkled in the middle, when after a ref bump, Nick Gage seriously considers using the ringside bell as a weapon against Sammartino. But like Roddy Piper struggling with his conscience at Wrestlemania 8, Nick Gage listens to the fans and puts the bell down - intending on finishing Bruno clean. They go back and forth, but in the end Sammartino makes the superhuman comeback before locking Gage in his over-the-shoulder backbreaker. But Gage won't quit, so Bruno winds up improvising and dropping Gage flat on his head in a Dominator-type move that gets a huge "OOOO" from the crowd! 1!...2!...3!!! Sammartino wins clean!!! He celebrates with the fans to end the show, while Gage slowly recovers from his bitter and disappointing loss. More angry tension is shown as Annie Social and now BLKOut have come to ringside to console Nick Gage. Is a heel turn in the works??? Nope, as a matter of fact - after a very tense face off again - Gage actually extends the handshake of mutual respect!!! First time ever for these two men! Bruno gages the crowd response and accepts!!! Gage holds Bruno's arms aloft in a display of humble class and Bruno gives the "Future of Hardcore" his undying props. This is real wrestling. This is what XPW Remixed is really all about. The spirit of competition.
Winner (and STILL XPW Remixed Champion): BRUNO SAMMARTINO
The greatest in the land.
** FADE OUT **
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CREDITS:
SCOTT & JUSTIN: Royal Rumble 2000 recap