Post by MadStepDad on Apr 17, 2011 19:36:43 GMT -5
1) Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
Tensions within XPW are at an all-time high as we head into the next monthly super-show "Night of Champions". Gold Dust Trio Inc and Strangler Lewis are feeling the pressure to deliver the goods after XPW's recent TV change to a two-hour format. Ratings on Channel 13 were high enough to justify the extra 60 minutes, but now Strangler Lewis and his team must maintain their forward momentum. This in turn has led to a wave of new signings, and an influx of cheap, young indy talent has flooded the XPW preliminary and mid card. Guys like "Sick" Nick Mondo, JC Bailey and others will literally die to prove their worth to XPW. This extreme drug-fueled culture (exacerbated by Vic Grimes and his cronies, the official suppliers to underground and backyard wrestlers) has drawn the ire of stalwart Heroes of Light and true champions like Bruno Sammartino, Mil Mascaras and Lou Thesz. They have promised to rid the fantasy wrestling world of this scourge of profane, violent drug addicts and other assorted Fiendish Undead. Meanwhile somewhere in limbo, in the gray zone, reside anti-heroes like Terry Funk, Sabu and Rockstar KAOS. They too find themselves in a constant clash with forces of darkness around them, even if they have been known to dabble in the dark side themselves. Of course, the utterly reprehensible and evil have also found their champion in the form of Ezekiel Jackson - chosen one of the Black Army. Kevin Sullivan's conquering empire is spreading its poisonous toxins throughout the fantasy wrestling multiverse, threatening to devour it whole and reveal its rotten core. A place where pure evil resides. XPW is home to the Damned. Only the most vile, diabolical and despicable monsters in wrestling history have been chosen by the Dark Powers to be imprisoned within the stone walls of XPW. Men like the Original Sheik, Pogo the Clown and Mad Man Pondo call XPW home and the amount of torture and pain they inflict is no match for the same suffering and agony they too will feel... and embrace. The Night of Champions approaches, as the tentacles of XPW Remixed reach even further into your society to drain it all of morality and honor it may have left, like the sun drying a dessicated corpse to a stale husk...
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1) MIL MASCARAS & ATSUSHI ONITA versus
ORIGINAL SHEIK & BERZERKER (w/ The Grand Wizard)
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying match)
versus
Mil Mascaras' grand Mexican superhero entrance opens the show, with 3D pyrotechnic flair. Following that, his partner for the night Atsushi Onita, bandaged still from last weeks 2nd and 3rd degree burns, but he's here. Fighting for his chance to become potential #1 contender at Night of Champions. Before the bad guys enter, a brief backstage interview between MSD and The Grand Wizard (both Berzerker and Sheik stalking and swaying menacingly behind him). TGW angrily addresses the so-called "dissension" displayed by his men at "Fall Out" (Berzerker and Sheik brawled after their loss) but promises it has made them only stronger. For the weak shall be weeded out tonight, as The Grand Wizard goes on to enter two of his clients into the MitB ladder match for the #1 contendership! Then TGW, Sheik and Berzerker get their in-ring entrance to big boos. The wild untamed Berzerker starts the match in a fury, but is constantly evaded and countered by the high-flying heavyweight finesse of Mil Mascaras. Mascaras flies circles around Berzerker on offense, necessitating a tag to Sheik - who entangles Onita in a vicious brawl. Finally things settle down with Onita playing face-in-peril (with his burned, bandaged body the focus of Sheik's debilitating attacks). In the end, a heel miscommunication breaks down resulting in Berzerker eating a face full of steel chair (courtesy of a Mascaras missile dropkick) and Onita scores a Thunder Firebomb on The Sheik (after countering a Sheik pencil gouge with a fireball finale). Onita and Mascaras celebrate their victory while chaos once again abounds on team TGW. Sheik and Berzerker must be physically restrained by a wave of XPW security (of which roughly half they toss haphazardly about anyways) as they brawl all throughout XPW arena and into the backstage area. The Grand Wizard is at a loss of control.
Winners: MIL MASCARAS and ONITA
** Backstage, cameras are in Commissioner Damien Steele's office for a brief pre-taped tete-a-tete, when they are rudely and loudly interrupted by a fuming Cryme Tyme. They are incensed over their treatment at Fall Out, and again last week when Lil Guido tapped JTG. Cryme Tyme demand to get their hand on La Coka Nostra TONIGHT, with big Shad Gaspard stepping up for combat. During their exchange, Damien Steele slips into a little defacto hood slang until he's cut off and patronized by Cryme Tyme. With a figurative tuck of the chain to Steele, Cryme Tyme get what they want - a match between Gaspard and La Coka Nostra's Tony Mamaluke TONIGHT **
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2) XPW BREAKING NEWS
(KAOS jumped at nightclub by Eddie Gilbert)
In-studio announce team Gordon Solie and Matt Striker have the breaking news footage. It happened last night at a downtown LA bar, and the tail end was captured by TMZ cameras. A brawl between the entourages of Kaos and an uninvited Eddie Gilbert spilled out onto the streets, where it was dispersed. But instead of letting things settle, Eddie Gilbert suddenly revved back into the picture behind the wheel of his Cadillac Escalade and gunned it up and through Kaos' entourage! In in a dangerous display captured by national television cameras, Rockstar KAOS (real name Joey Munoz) got the worst of it as the car smashed directly into him, rolling him up the windshield and hard onto the concrete sidewalk (a few blocks away - we would find out later - from the same spot River Phoenix died of a drug overdose). Everybody's seen that footage on TMZ and other news outlets, as word of the stunt spread and pundits began claiming that once again wrestling had "gone too far". But they didn't realize this was an isolated incident by a man whose madness and starvation for the lime light would literally make him do anything to avenge the grievous slights he's created in his mind. And they certainly didn't see what preceded that dastardly attack, as only XPW TV now has the exclusive footage of what happened inside the club before the fight (as captured via shaky cellphone camera). They show the footage, and Gilbert is clearly the aggressor - blindsiding KAOS and splashing an alcoholic drink in his face before shoving Missy Hyatt to the ground and pummeling Kaos. Club security finally got the two men and their entourages out of the club, where TMZ cameras (already on the scene on a Miley Cyrus sighting) caught the rest. Gilbert was later arrested and spent the night in jail before posting bond and promising to finish the job at Night of Champions - if Kaos has the guts left to show up.
Eddie Gilbert continues to show his reckless disrespect for human life! His utter disdain for even the smallest of human compassion has driven him to the bring of madness - and attempted vehicular homicide. But his intended victim (and current TV Champion KAOS) doesn't intend to press charges. He doesn't want this case settled in a court of law, he will serve his own justice at the PPV. Shortly after he was released from the hospital for preliminary reasons, KAOS cut an intense promo on Gilbert promising to be his judge, jury and executioner at "Night of Champions".
GORDON SOLIE: Let me tell you the history behind that. It was the greatest compliment I ever had in my life in professional wrestling. I'm sure you are familiar with the late legendary Leroy McGurk. As you may know, Leroy suffered from the vision problem as well, and...and talk about great matches, here was one that stands out in my mind forever and that's the match between Rockstar KAOS and Sabu in LA at the XPW Arena, the World XPW TV Championship on the line.(See XPW TV Episode #9) KAOS was the Champion and Sabu was the challenger. We were putting it on television which was unheard of in those days, absolutely unheard of that you would take this match and put it on TV...you could draw sell-out crowds with a match like that. Sabu was red-hot, I think he was the greatest ever to come out of Japan. McGurk came down with Missy Hyatt to the television show, and here he is with tremendous visual impairment - in fact I think he might have been totally sightless, I'm not entirely sure...but anyway, I threw my heart and soul into that match because I realized how important it was, I also realized that if a guy like Leroy McGurk were coming down here that it had to have added importance. When I got done with the matches and KAOS won after what felt like about 40 some odd minutes, we broke away for commercials...and I guess I'm the one who invented the line, "We're breaking away for a commercial but the cameras will keep rolling so if anything should happen while we're away we'll bring it too you..." Now it's standard - in those days it wasn't. We got through with the matches and came back into the offices and Toots, TGW and Ed Lewis were all there in the office. And McGurk put out his hand and he said "Gordon?" and I said, "Yes..." as I shook hands with him, he said, "I felt like I could see the match." And that rocked me, it really did...and I thought, "Now this is a segment of the audience that I will never forget again..."
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3) POGO the CLOWN (w/ TGW) versus Necro Butcher
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying Match)
versus
Necro Butcher is the crazy Hillbilly madman, one brick higher than the Hills Have Eyes clans. The X-Generation version of Uncle Elmer and Cousin Junior, on meth. The sick uncle you keep locked in the basement who can't help hurting himself or others, and garnering great joy from the carnage. He is an unstoppable buzz saw of destruction who tonight runs full force (again and again, usually headfirst) against the brick wall that is Pogo the Clown. Almost 7 feet tall, over 500 pounds of sick, demented, perverse punishment. Unleashed from the darkest, deepest dungeon by The Grand Wizard to wreak havoc upon the fantasy wrestling landscape. Pogo the Clown should be locked up in a mental institution or fried on death row instead of plying his trade in an unrestrained arena such as this match. In an effort to ramp up the violence and preview some of the mayhem that is promised in the MitB match at "Night of Champions", XPW Commissioner Damien Steele has made this match between Pogo and Necro Butcher a "Light tubes and Ladders" Death Match, and neither man disappoints. Necro Butcher gets absolutely killed with a variety of crushing slams, suplexes and blows on/above/or below the ladders and steel guard rails. But the bloody, ravaged, brain-dead maniac earns your respect by refusing to stay down and continually absorbing inhuman amounts of punishment. Finally, Pogo the Clown powerbombs Necro Butcher onto a set of cinder blocks before crushing him with a top rope supersplash (punctuated by a barbed wire board) for the climatic pin fall. Pogo the Clown is TGW's last ace in the hole, and carnage is guaranteed at "Night of Champions".
Winner: POGO THE CLOWN
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4) SHAD GASPARD versus TONY MAMALUKE
versus
La Coka Nostra swagger and attitude for days, and they pissed the usually fun-loving Brooklyn tandem off something terrible. Here, Shad Gaspard generally overpowers and out-muscles the smaller Tony Mamaluke, who still manages to hold his own with sharp striking and limb control. Excellent mat work by Mamaluke, with an emphasis on joint manipulation and submission attempts. But good old fashioned Brooklyn shit-kicking ultimately wins the day after Gaspard powers out of a Sicilian slice attempt and crushes Mamaluke with a running powerslam ala British Bulldog. Big Sal E. Graziano up on the ring apron where he eats a running Timberland boot that sends him rolling all the way back to the floor like a giant barrel. JTG and Lil Guido brawl on the outside and Gaspard finally catches Mamaluke in a very impressive hanging vertical suplex/rock bottom slam for the emphatic pin fall. Gaspard and JTG keep it gangsta and looked like straight beasts here. But La Coka Nostra is far from finished...
Winner: SHAD GASPARD
Post match, Lil Guido and Big Sal rush the ring where Cryme Tyme meets them head on. The popular Brooklyn duo gets the advantage and is poised to send the crowd home happy, when suddenly - two men in suit coats and fedoras jump into the ring. They blindside Cryme Tyme and knock them for a loop with twin strikes from a metal briefcase each of the men brandishes with malicious intent! The two men loosen their neck ties and go to work with violent stomps to the head and faces of Cryme Tyme, while La Coka Nostra gathers their senses and rejoins the attack on their behalf. My gosh, that's Lou Albano and Tony Altomare!!!
The Sicilians!!!
With the aid of Guido, Mamaluke and Graziano - the Sicilians (Lou Albano & Tony Altomare) punish Cryme Tyme before finishing them off with skull-crushing blows from each of the large metal briefcases they wield. With Cryme Tyme unconscious and bloodied on the mat, La Coka Nostra arrange and pose with their bodies while Big Sal E. Graziano captures the moment on cellphone camera. With a grand, theatrical flair, Lou Albano and Tony Altomare unlock the briefcases to reveal sparkling new championship belts - XPW Tag Team titles!!! The Sicilians pose with the new belts for pictures as Solie and Striker ruminate on the shadowy arrangement between the Sicilians and Gold Dust Trio Inc that allowed them to introduce their own vanity titles to the scene. The Sicilians christen their new belts with the blood of Cryme Tyme and flip the crowd off as they are serenaded with boos and pelted with garbage. The "bosses" La Coka Nostra spoke of have been revealed - Lou Albano & Tony Altomare: The Sicilians! And they're the new XPW Tag Team champions!
** CUT **
** Backstage, Onita is in celebration mode with XPW Deathmatch Champion Jun Kasai. Brief backstage promo touting his involvement in MitB, when suddenly the lights in the locker room are blown out! Camera crew struggles briefly to get back-up lighting, and capture the Original Sheik assaulting Onita and Kasai - with TGW behind him screaming "I promised you retribution!!!" Sheik busts a mirror over Onita's head, before the big climatic spot - FWOOOSH! Massive fireball to Jun Kasai's face! The Sheik and TGW flee the scene while the horror and tragedy begins to sink in. Kasai is attended to by paramedics. **
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5) THE BOURNE CONSPIRACY
** Backstage, in the shadowy confines of some underground boiler room, a demented Matt Bourne (aka "Doink Rebourne") has taken XPW cameras hostage, forcing them to televise his antics. With him, he reveals a scrawny, ratty haired boy covered with crimson gore and tied half-beaten to death to a chair. A bloody, tattered "Messiah: Holy FN Shit" T-Shirt covers his chest. You recognize the ravaged young man as "TJ", one of the preliminary wrestlers **
"Batman" = The MESSIAH, "Gotham" = XPW
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6) "VICIOUS" VIC GRIMES (w/ "Sick" Nick Mondo) versus SABU
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying match)
versus
Cannibal Cartel leader Vic Grimes continues to defecate upon ECW's legacy with this challenge to Sabu tonight. The bigger Grimes is able to throttle and dehumanize Sabu - when he can get his hands on him. Otherwise, Sabu is flying about the ring recklessly crashing into Grimes and forcing him through chairs and tables. At one point, Sabu takes out Grimes' corner man "Sick" Nick Mondo with a suicide somersault senton to the concrete floor. Sabu winds up kicking out of a Grimes bomb at the last moment, necessitating a desperate Grimes to come up with a barbed-wire board/steel chair/fluorescent light tube contraption upon which he is intent on driving Sabu's bloody body. But in a classic pro wrestling twist of fate, Vic Grimes is the one who winds up going through the death trap after a top rope hurricanrana from Sabu. But before the Suicidal, Genocidal, Homicidal one can capture the victory - the Headhunterz make the run in. Wearing Cannibal Cartel colors, the twin behemoths ravage Sabu and prepare to crush him with a top rope moonsault (through a wooden table while Sabu is covered with light tubes). Just as all hope appears to be lost, through the crowd a savior appears -
TERRY FUNK!!!
Flaming branding iron with a bottle of 200 proof, Funk comes tearing down ringside and literally BLOWS one of the Headhunters off the top rope (through the table) with a massive fireball from the tip of his branding iron! Vic Grimes and the last Headhunter are momentarily stunned. Funk jabs the other Headhunter with the burning branding iron, literally setting the mans tights ablaze! In a panic the Headhunter flees the ring where he is blasted with a fire extinguisher by XPW security. In-ring, Terry Funk smashes the hard-ass glass liquor bottle over Vic Grimes head in an explosive shot! Arabian face buster from Sabu off the top rope (with a steel chair) for the pin! Vic Grimes is unconscious!
Winner: SABU
Post match, Terry Funk grabs the mic and cuts a profanity laced tirade on Vic Grimes (who is groggily helped to his feet and escorted backstage by his battered, defeated squadron). Funk wants Grimes at "Night of Champions" and promises to personally put an end to Grimes crusade - once and for all.
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7) WHITE TRASH WORLD III
Starring Mad Man Pondo and Jessica Darlin
Pondo showing his lighter side with a backstage trip to the latest Gathering of the Juggalos festival. Pondo is a violent mosher and enjoys late nite drunken fist fights with weapons and broken glass. His girlfriend (wife? friend? sister?) Jessica Darlin is very popular when she gets on stage and strips. Mad Man Pondo is not very popular when he tries to join in - getting belted with batteries and trash. Leads to Pondo diving off the stage and fighting with a bunch of punks in the mud pit. Mad Man Pondo - with large hunting knife gritted between his teeth - promises to make XPW his personal mosh pit. Starting at "Night of Champions".
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** Announce table interlude with Solie & Striker - Pittsburgh PA is the site, Night of Champions is the time. Bruno Sammartino & Ezekiel Jackson touched down with their camps a few nights prior to the event for the press conferences, contract signings and weigh-ins required of a World title fight. We have the highlights from Pittsburgh. **
8) MAIN EVENT PRESS CONFERENCE & CONTRACT SIGNING
versus
Classic MMA-style, with Sammartino and his camp at one end of the long table - Ezekiel Jackson and Skandor Akbar (representing Black Army) at the other. Sammartino and Skandor answer questions, and Akbar quickly gets under Bruno's skin with a few off-color and insulting remarks. Finally Sammartino gets needled into accepting some last minute provisions snuck into the contract by Akbar: 1) This is Bruno's last shot at the belt while Jackson is champion 2nd) the match will be contested under Steel Cage rules (so nobody can prevent Bruno's destruction in the center of the ring). Bruno tries to stay professional nonetheless, and they finally gather together on a larger podium upon which a smaller table rest. They now sit right across from each, sign the contracts, then stand-up, pose and stare down for the cameras and flashing light bulbs. Bruno Sammartino vs Ezekiel Jackson in a Steel Cage match at "Night of Champions" for the XPW Championship! Bruno's last chance!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
** MESSIAH promo that once again begins in the claustrophobic confines of a dark confessional, before expanding to a darkened rooftop high above the city of Pittsburgh PA. He throws himself to his Father's mercy and promises to take vengeance upon Doink Rebourne for his sins. Messiah declares Holy War upon you.**
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MAIN EVENT
LOU THESZ versus "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying match)
versus
Big match main-event entrances for both men, with Rogers entering last (and showing off an expensive ostrich-feathered robe). Slow stall to start as Rogers works both the crowd and Thesz temper to a boiling point. Finally enough is enough, and Thesz winds up shredding Rogers' priceless entrance robe - only to have the distraction allow Rogers to assault him from behind. Rogers gets the early offense and tries to put Thesz away quickly. When it becomes evident Thesz won't fall for any cheap tricks, Rogers tries to wear him down with ground-n-pound and stretch holds. He is fearful to let Thesz regain control, and sure enough Lou counters with a Thesz press and answers Rogers with a fistful of fury. Thesz fires back and whips the crowd into a frenzy with his breakneck pace and scientific acumen. At one point Rogers begs off and literally grasps and pulls at the ref, pleading for a break. Suddenly - like a bullet shot from a cannon - Jack Swagger slides into the ring! But before he can ambush Thesz, Lou catches him with a stunning overhead beal that carries Swagger right back out of the ring! Rogers is quickly on Thesz as the ref tries to regain control of the match. Nature Boy drives a knee into Thesz' back, knocking him between the ropes and out of the ring where Swagger is picking himself up off the floor. Thesz and Swagger come face to face and the brawl is on! Thesz is oblivious to the referee's 10 count (no doubt hastened by a troublesome and annoying Buddy Rogers in the refs ear imploring him to hurry up and finish it). Sure enough, Lou Thesz is counted out - Buddy Rogers begins a self-absorbed victory celebration that would make even Santino Marella blush - and Thesz continues to brawl with Swagger to end the show.
Winner (by count out): NATURE BOY BUDDY ROGERS
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IN-STUDIO OUTRO w/ SOLIE & STRIKER
PPV-hype as Solie and Striker break down the upcoming card. All titles will be on the line at this event, including the brand new XPW Tag Team championship. Plus 8-man Money-in-the-Bank #1 Contenders match, an ECW-rules challenge and a Submission Only match! XPW Remixed presents "Night of Champions"!!! Call your local cable or satellite provider now!
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying match)
versus
Mil Mascaras' grand Mexican superhero entrance opens the show, with 3D pyrotechnic flair. Following that, his partner for the night Atsushi Onita, bandaged still from last weeks 2nd and 3rd degree burns, but he's here. Fighting for his chance to become potential #1 contender at Night of Champions. Before the bad guys enter, a brief backstage interview between MSD and The Grand Wizard (both Berzerker and Sheik stalking and swaying menacingly behind him). TGW angrily addresses the so-called "dissension" displayed by his men at "Fall Out" (Berzerker and Sheik brawled after their loss) but promises it has made them only stronger. For the weak shall be weeded out tonight, as The Grand Wizard goes on to enter two of his clients into the MitB ladder match for the #1 contendership! Then TGW, Sheik and Berzerker get their in-ring entrance to big boos. The wild untamed Berzerker starts the match in a fury, but is constantly evaded and countered by the high-flying heavyweight finesse of Mil Mascaras. Mascaras flies circles around Berzerker on offense, necessitating a tag to Sheik - who entangles Onita in a vicious brawl. Finally things settle down with Onita playing face-in-peril (with his burned, bandaged body the focus of Sheik's debilitating attacks). In the end, a heel miscommunication breaks down resulting in Berzerker eating a face full of steel chair (courtesy of a Mascaras missile dropkick) and Onita scores a Thunder Firebomb on The Sheik (after countering a Sheik pencil gouge with a fireball finale). Onita and Mascaras celebrate their victory while chaos once again abounds on team TGW. Sheik and Berzerker must be physically restrained by a wave of XPW security (of which roughly half they toss haphazardly about anyways) as they brawl all throughout XPW arena and into the backstage area. The Grand Wizard is at a loss of control.
Winners: MIL MASCARAS and ONITA
** Backstage, cameras are in Commissioner Damien Steele's office for a brief pre-taped tete-a-tete, when they are rudely and loudly interrupted by a fuming Cryme Tyme. They are incensed over their treatment at Fall Out, and again last week when Lil Guido tapped JTG. Cryme Tyme demand to get their hand on La Coka Nostra TONIGHT, with big Shad Gaspard stepping up for combat. During their exchange, Damien Steele slips into a little defacto hood slang until he's cut off and patronized by Cryme Tyme. With a figurative tuck of the chain to Steele, Cryme Tyme get what they want - a match between Gaspard and La Coka Nostra's Tony Mamaluke TONIGHT **
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2) XPW BREAKING NEWS
(KAOS jumped at nightclub by Eddie Gilbert)
In-studio announce team Gordon Solie and Matt Striker have the breaking news footage. It happened last night at a downtown LA bar, and the tail end was captured by TMZ cameras. A brawl between the entourages of Kaos and an uninvited Eddie Gilbert spilled out onto the streets, where it was dispersed. But instead of letting things settle, Eddie Gilbert suddenly revved back into the picture behind the wheel of his Cadillac Escalade and gunned it up and through Kaos' entourage! In in a dangerous display captured by national television cameras, Rockstar KAOS (real name Joey Munoz) got the worst of it as the car smashed directly into him, rolling him up the windshield and hard onto the concrete sidewalk (a few blocks away - we would find out later - from the same spot River Phoenix died of a drug overdose). Everybody's seen that footage on TMZ and other news outlets, as word of the stunt spread and pundits began claiming that once again wrestling had "gone too far". But they didn't realize this was an isolated incident by a man whose madness and starvation for the lime light would literally make him do anything to avenge the grievous slights he's created in his mind. And they certainly didn't see what preceded that dastardly attack, as only XPW TV now has the exclusive footage of what happened inside the club before the fight (as captured via shaky cellphone camera). They show the footage, and Gilbert is clearly the aggressor - blindsiding KAOS and splashing an alcoholic drink in his face before shoving Missy Hyatt to the ground and pummeling Kaos. Club security finally got the two men and their entourages out of the club, where TMZ cameras (already on the scene on a Miley Cyrus sighting) caught the rest. Gilbert was later arrested and spent the night in jail before posting bond and promising to finish the job at Night of Champions - if Kaos has the guts left to show up.
Eddie Gilbert continues to show his reckless disrespect for human life! His utter disdain for even the smallest of human compassion has driven him to the bring of madness - and attempted vehicular homicide. But his intended victim (and current TV Champion KAOS) doesn't intend to press charges. He doesn't want this case settled in a court of law, he will serve his own justice at the PPV. Shortly after he was released from the hospital for preliminary reasons, KAOS cut an intense promo on Gilbert promising to be his judge, jury and executioner at "Night of Champions".
GORDON SOLIE: Let me tell you the history behind that. It was the greatest compliment I ever had in my life in professional wrestling. I'm sure you are familiar with the late legendary Leroy McGurk. As you may know, Leroy suffered from the vision problem as well, and...and talk about great matches, here was one that stands out in my mind forever and that's the match between Rockstar KAOS and Sabu in LA at the XPW Arena, the World XPW TV Championship on the line.(See XPW TV Episode #9) KAOS was the Champion and Sabu was the challenger. We were putting it on television which was unheard of in those days, absolutely unheard of that you would take this match and put it on TV...you could draw sell-out crowds with a match like that. Sabu was red-hot, I think he was the greatest ever to come out of Japan. McGurk came down with Missy Hyatt to the television show, and here he is with tremendous visual impairment - in fact I think he might have been totally sightless, I'm not entirely sure...but anyway, I threw my heart and soul into that match because I realized how important it was, I also realized that if a guy like Leroy McGurk were coming down here that it had to have added importance. When I got done with the matches and KAOS won after what felt like about 40 some odd minutes, we broke away for commercials...and I guess I'm the one who invented the line, "We're breaking away for a commercial but the cameras will keep rolling so if anything should happen while we're away we'll bring it too you..." Now it's standard - in those days it wasn't. We got through with the matches and came back into the offices and Toots, TGW and Ed Lewis were all there in the office. And McGurk put out his hand and he said "Gordon?" and I said, "Yes..." as I shook hands with him, he said, "I felt like I could see the match." And that rocked me, it really did...and I thought, "Now this is a segment of the audience that I will never forget again..."
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3) POGO the CLOWN (w/ TGW) versus Necro Butcher
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying Match)
versus
Necro Butcher is the crazy Hillbilly madman, one brick higher than the Hills Have Eyes clans. The X-Generation version of Uncle Elmer and Cousin Junior, on meth. The sick uncle you keep locked in the basement who can't help hurting himself or others, and garnering great joy from the carnage. He is an unstoppable buzz saw of destruction who tonight runs full force (again and again, usually headfirst) against the brick wall that is Pogo the Clown. Almost 7 feet tall, over 500 pounds of sick, demented, perverse punishment. Unleashed from the darkest, deepest dungeon by The Grand Wizard to wreak havoc upon the fantasy wrestling landscape. Pogo the Clown should be locked up in a mental institution or fried on death row instead of plying his trade in an unrestrained arena such as this match. In an effort to ramp up the violence and preview some of the mayhem that is promised in the MitB match at "Night of Champions", XPW Commissioner Damien Steele has made this match between Pogo and Necro Butcher a "Light tubes and Ladders" Death Match, and neither man disappoints. Necro Butcher gets absolutely killed with a variety of crushing slams, suplexes and blows on/above/or below the ladders and steel guard rails. But the bloody, ravaged, brain-dead maniac earns your respect by refusing to stay down and continually absorbing inhuman amounts of punishment. Finally, Pogo the Clown powerbombs Necro Butcher onto a set of cinder blocks before crushing him with a top rope supersplash (punctuated by a barbed wire board) for the climatic pin fall. Pogo the Clown is TGW's last ace in the hole, and carnage is guaranteed at "Night of Champions".
Winner: POGO THE CLOWN
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4) SHAD GASPARD versus TONY MAMALUKE
versus
La Coka Nostra swagger and attitude for days, and they pissed the usually fun-loving Brooklyn tandem off something terrible. Here, Shad Gaspard generally overpowers and out-muscles the smaller Tony Mamaluke, who still manages to hold his own with sharp striking and limb control. Excellent mat work by Mamaluke, with an emphasis on joint manipulation and submission attempts. But good old fashioned Brooklyn shit-kicking ultimately wins the day after Gaspard powers out of a Sicilian slice attempt and crushes Mamaluke with a running powerslam ala British Bulldog. Big Sal E. Graziano up on the ring apron where he eats a running Timberland boot that sends him rolling all the way back to the floor like a giant barrel. JTG and Lil Guido brawl on the outside and Gaspard finally catches Mamaluke in a very impressive hanging vertical suplex/rock bottom slam for the emphatic pin fall. Gaspard and JTG keep it gangsta and looked like straight beasts here. But La Coka Nostra is far from finished...
Winner: SHAD GASPARD
Post match, Lil Guido and Big Sal rush the ring where Cryme Tyme meets them head on. The popular Brooklyn duo gets the advantage and is poised to send the crowd home happy, when suddenly - two men in suit coats and fedoras jump into the ring. They blindside Cryme Tyme and knock them for a loop with twin strikes from a metal briefcase each of the men brandishes with malicious intent! The two men loosen their neck ties and go to work with violent stomps to the head and faces of Cryme Tyme, while La Coka Nostra gathers their senses and rejoins the attack on their behalf. My gosh, that's Lou Albano and Tony Altomare!!!
The Sicilians!!!
With the aid of Guido, Mamaluke and Graziano - the Sicilians (Lou Albano & Tony Altomare) punish Cryme Tyme before finishing them off with skull-crushing blows from each of the large metal briefcases they wield. With Cryme Tyme unconscious and bloodied on the mat, La Coka Nostra arrange and pose with their bodies while Big Sal E. Graziano captures the moment on cellphone camera. With a grand, theatrical flair, Lou Albano and Tony Altomare unlock the briefcases to reveal sparkling new championship belts - XPW Tag Team titles!!! The Sicilians pose with the new belts for pictures as Solie and Striker ruminate on the shadowy arrangement between the Sicilians and Gold Dust Trio Inc that allowed them to introduce their own vanity titles to the scene. The Sicilians christen their new belts with the blood of Cryme Tyme and flip the crowd off as they are serenaded with boos and pelted with garbage. The "bosses" La Coka Nostra spoke of have been revealed - Lou Albano & Tony Altomare: The Sicilians! And they're the new XPW Tag Team champions!
** CUT **
** Backstage, Onita is in celebration mode with XPW Deathmatch Champion Jun Kasai. Brief backstage promo touting his involvement in MitB, when suddenly the lights in the locker room are blown out! Camera crew struggles briefly to get back-up lighting, and capture the Original Sheik assaulting Onita and Kasai - with TGW behind him screaming "I promised you retribution!!!" Sheik busts a mirror over Onita's head, before the big climatic spot - FWOOOSH! Massive fireball to Jun Kasai's face! The Sheik and TGW flee the scene while the horror and tragedy begins to sink in. Kasai is attended to by paramedics. **
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5) THE BOURNE CONSPIRACY
** Backstage, in the shadowy confines of some underground boiler room, a demented Matt Bourne (aka "Doink Rebourne") has taken XPW cameras hostage, forcing them to televise his antics. With him, he reveals a scrawny, ratty haired boy covered with crimson gore and tied half-beaten to death to a chair. A bloody, tattered "Messiah: Holy FN Shit" T-Shirt covers his chest. You recognize the ravaged young man as "TJ", one of the preliminary wrestlers **
"Batman" = The MESSIAH, "Gotham" = XPW
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6) "VICIOUS" VIC GRIMES (w/ "Sick" Nick Mondo) versus SABU
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying match)
versus
Cannibal Cartel leader Vic Grimes continues to defecate upon ECW's legacy with this challenge to Sabu tonight. The bigger Grimes is able to throttle and dehumanize Sabu - when he can get his hands on him. Otherwise, Sabu is flying about the ring recklessly crashing into Grimes and forcing him through chairs and tables. At one point, Sabu takes out Grimes' corner man "Sick" Nick Mondo with a suicide somersault senton to the concrete floor. Sabu winds up kicking out of a Grimes bomb at the last moment, necessitating a desperate Grimes to come up with a barbed-wire board/steel chair/fluorescent light tube contraption upon which he is intent on driving Sabu's bloody body. But in a classic pro wrestling twist of fate, Vic Grimes is the one who winds up going through the death trap after a top rope hurricanrana from Sabu. But before the Suicidal, Genocidal, Homicidal one can capture the victory - the Headhunterz make the run in. Wearing Cannibal Cartel colors, the twin behemoths ravage Sabu and prepare to crush him with a top rope moonsault (through a wooden table while Sabu is covered with light tubes). Just as all hope appears to be lost, through the crowd a savior appears -
TERRY FUNK!!!
Flaming branding iron with a bottle of 200 proof, Funk comes tearing down ringside and literally BLOWS one of the Headhunters off the top rope (through the table) with a massive fireball from the tip of his branding iron! Vic Grimes and the last Headhunter are momentarily stunned. Funk jabs the other Headhunter with the burning branding iron, literally setting the mans tights ablaze! In a panic the Headhunter flees the ring where he is blasted with a fire extinguisher by XPW security. In-ring, Terry Funk smashes the hard-ass glass liquor bottle over Vic Grimes head in an explosive shot! Arabian face buster from Sabu off the top rope (with a steel chair) for the pin! Vic Grimes is unconscious!
Winner: SABU
Post match, Terry Funk grabs the mic and cuts a profanity laced tirade on Vic Grimes (who is groggily helped to his feet and escorted backstage by his battered, defeated squadron). Funk wants Grimes at "Night of Champions" and promises to personally put an end to Grimes crusade - once and for all.
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7) WHITE TRASH WORLD III
Starring Mad Man Pondo and Jessica Darlin
Pondo showing his lighter side with a backstage trip to the latest Gathering of the Juggalos festival. Pondo is a violent mosher and enjoys late nite drunken fist fights with weapons and broken glass. His girlfriend (wife? friend? sister?) Jessica Darlin is very popular when she gets on stage and strips. Mad Man Pondo is not very popular when he tries to join in - getting belted with batteries and trash. Leads to Pondo diving off the stage and fighting with a bunch of punks in the mud pit. Mad Man Pondo - with large hunting knife gritted between his teeth - promises to make XPW his personal mosh pit. Starting at "Night of Champions".
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** Announce table interlude with Solie & Striker - Pittsburgh PA is the site, Night of Champions is the time. Bruno Sammartino & Ezekiel Jackson touched down with their camps a few nights prior to the event for the press conferences, contract signings and weigh-ins required of a World title fight. We have the highlights from Pittsburgh. **
8) MAIN EVENT PRESS CONFERENCE & CONTRACT SIGNING
versus
Classic MMA-style, with Sammartino and his camp at one end of the long table - Ezekiel Jackson and Skandor Akbar (representing Black Army) at the other. Sammartino and Skandor answer questions, and Akbar quickly gets under Bruno's skin with a few off-color and insulting remarks. Finally Sammartino gets needled into accepting some last minute provisions snuck into the contract by Akbar: 1) This is Bruno's last shot at the belt while Jackson is champion 2nd) the match will be contested under Steel Cage rules (so nobody can prevent Bruno's destruction in the center of the ring). Bruno tries to stay professional nonetheless, and they finally gather together on a larger podium upon which a smaller table rest. They now sit right across from each, sign the contracts, then stand-up, pose and stare down for the cameras and flashing light bulbs. Bruno Sammartino vs Ezekiel Jackson in a Steel Cage match at "Night of Champions" for the XPW Championship! Bruno's last chance!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
** MESSIAH promo that once again begins in the claustrophobic confines of a dark confessional, before expanding to a darkened rooftop high above the city of Pittsburgh PA. He throws himself to his Father's mercy and promises to take vengeance upon Doink Rebourne for his sins. Messiah declares Holy War upon you.**
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MAIN EVENT
LOU THESZ versus "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS
(Money-in-the-Bank Qualifying match)
versus
Big match main-event entrances for both men, with Rogers entering last (and showing off an expensive ostrich-feathered robe). Slow stall to start as Rogers works both the crowd and Thesz temper to a boiling point. Finally enough is enough, and Thesz winds up shredding Rogers' priceless entrance robe - only to have the distraction allow Rogers to assault him from behind. Rogers gets the early offense and tries to put Thesz away quickly. When it becomes evident Thesz won't fall for any cheap tricks, Rogers tries to wear him down with ground-n-pound and stretch holds. He is fearful to let Thesz regain control, and sure enough Lou counters with a Thesz press and answers Rogers with a fistful of fury. Thesz fires back and whips the crowd into a frenzy with his breakneck pace and scientific acumen. At one point Rogers begs off and literally grasps and pulls at the ref, pleading for a break. Suddenly - like a bullet shot from a cannon - Jack Swagger slides into the ring! But before he can ambush Thesz, Lou catches him with a stunning overhead beal that carries Swagger right back out of the ring! Rogers is quickly on Thesz as the ref tries to regain control of the match. Nature Boy drives a knee into Thesz' back, knocking him between the ropes and out of the ring where Swagger is picking himself up off the floor. Thesz and Swagger come face to face and the brawl is on! Thesz is oblivious to the referee's 10 count (no doubt hastened by a troublesome and annoying Buddy Rogers in the refs ear imploring him to hurry up and finish it). Sure enough, Lou Thesz is counted out - Buddy Rogers begins a self-absorbed victory celebration that would make even Santino Marella blush - and Thesz continues to brawl with Swagger to end the show.
Winner (by count out): NATURE BOY BUDDY ROGERS
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IN-STUDIO OUTRO w/ SOLIE & STRIKER
PPV-hype as Solie and Striker break down the upcoming card. All titles will be on the line at this event, including the brand new XPW Tag Team championship. Plus 8-man Money-in-the-Bank #1 Contenders match, an ECW-rules challenge and a Submission Only match! XPW Remixed presents "Night of Champions"!!! Call your local cable or satellite provider now!