Post by MadStepDad on Apr 16, 2011 18:00:25 GMT -5
1) Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie & Matt Striker
MATT STRIKER: I am very satisfied and grateful with the progress that has been made in XPW Remixed the last year. I have had many highlights ranging from working with WWE,TNA and ECW talents, touring England, all the way to Bruno Sammartino winning the XPW championship. Now,"The Prince of Darkness" Kevin Sullivan and his different partners [Ezekiel Jackson, Damien Demento & Lizzy Borden] have risen to overtake Sammartino. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring with the Black Army, but today is a gift and that is why it is called the present.
Tonight - XPW King of the Death Match champion Jun Kasai is in action, Terry Funk responds to last weeks brutal assault and "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers makes his in-ring XPW Remixed debut!!! Let's go down to ringside!!!
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1) JUN KASAI (w/ Onita) versus NECRO BUTCHER
versus
Onita opens the show, Japanese diplomat-style in the center of the ring. With much pomp and circumstance (a Japanese version of Alberto Del Rio's personalized ring announcer perhaps) the Hardcore Legend Onita introduces the current XPW Remixed Death Match champion "The Crazy Monkey" JUN KASAI!!! Americanized with the baggy pants and goggles and still rocking his monkey tail. His reception within the XPW Slaughtahouse is tremendous, and his opponent for the night Necro Butcher absorbs the dire circumstances. Match tells a great story of one-oneupmanship as it quickly devolves into a dangerous game of "can you top this"? Thunderous chair shots, hard-hitting suplexes and pulverizing DDTs abound. Finally, Jun Kasai reverses a complicated top rope maneuver into a sunset powerbomb that sends Necro Butcher neck and back first onto a steel chair in an amazing, potentially life-ending bump. Kasai quickly gathers the pin fall and rejoices in the ring with Onita, who grandly presents him once more with his KotDM championship belt.
Winner: JUN KASAI
Post match, Onita once again gives Kasai the royal treatment on the mic. But this time - he's rudely interrupted by the abrasive derision of the loud and garish Grand Wizard of wrestling! TGW stalks the entrance ramp in his tacky turban and multicolored mess of a cheap suit barking into the mic to massive boos from the audience (Vickie Guerrero-style heat).
The Grand Wizard disparages Onita and Kasai, and reiterates his own mission to dominate the Death Match circuit with his legion of unholy miscreants! With that said, a shield-bearing, sword wielding Berzerker hops the guardrail and slides into the ring to ambush the King of the Death Match champion! Onita quickly tosses Kasai a chair, who uses it to duel with the Berzerker's flailing sword to tremendous crowd response! He disarms Berzerker before wrapping the steel chair around his massive Viking head! At about the same time, a turban wearing Sheik is hopping up onto the ring apron - but before he can enter the ring, Atsushi Onita meets with him with a huge FIREBALL blown from seemingly nowhere! In a smoky flash, the Sheik crashes to the arena floor! But before Kasai and Onita can even taunt the steaming Grand Wizard, a third man enters the ring. A massive, face-painted brute of a man - almost 7 feet tall, well over 400lbs. The Icon Killer himself...
POGO the CLOWN!!!
To Kasai and Onita's great surprise, the monster quickly scoops them up and swallows them. A shot from his barbed-wire wrapped shovel elicits a fountain of crimson from Onita's forehead. A crushing belly-to-belly suplex and tigerbomb onto a steel chair on Kasai leaves the Japanese warrior a twitching wreck. With The Grand Wizard now in the ring directing traffic, Pogo the Clown puts the exclamation point on his statement with an amazing, cringe-inducing top rope splash onto the much MUCH smaller Jun Kasai! Pogo is a menace unleashed, while TGW gloats and preens over the disposed bodies of his foes. TGW's Monstah Squad just got a whole lot scarier. Meanwhile, TGW continues to pose with the KotDM belt and antagonize the audience.
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2) XPW CHAMPIONSHIP FALL OUT
Current XPW champion Bruno Sammartino speaks on his upcoming title match at "Fall Out".
The Black Army
Bruno Sammartino versus Ezekiel Jackson for the XPW Championship - only at "Fall Out"!!!
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3) CRYME TYME versus SO CAL JOBBERS UNION
versus
So-Cal Jobbers Union is a nondescript, rotating cast of lowly independent wrestlers plying their trade in Southern California. Both kids are already in the ring for the big television entrance of CRYME TYME! Big cheers for the fan favorites. Cryme Tyme runs through all their crowd-pleasing spots, en route to a resounding victory. The jobber called "Ryan Dangerfield" absorbs a massive Drive-By (similar to a Hart Attack, but using a spinning kick instead of a clothesline - shades of the old XPW tag team the Westside NGZ). The other jobber, a ratty-haired specimen in jean shorts (like a younger Stevie Richards, but with a white tank top) yells at his partner in what sounds like German in a few funny moments, but in the end Cryme Tyme get the last laugh and continue their rise up the XPW Remixed rankings.
Winners: CRYME TYME
** CUT **
MATT STRIKER: You really get close to your traveling partners on the road. Lifetime bonds are made here. Road trips are hard to explain until you go on many of them, you will never know the things that go on. After a while the road becomes so familiar. We don't have a traditional social life like other people, we are away every weekend and thus, the "boys" become our family, our "brothers". Being on the road can be fun when you are with your "family". You are never really alone. You get used to hotels and airports, and you never really unpack. Sometimes we are tired but there is a passion in us that far exceeds any normal persons desires. That's why - even though some may claim them to "inexperienced" - Cryme Tyme make such a formidable team here in XPW Remixed.
** CUT **
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4) A BLOOD LEGEND RETURNS
Cameras caught up with Terry Funk backstage last week after he was brutalized by Vic Grimes and his Headhunterz mercenaries. Here's what he had to say... WARNING footage is graphic, and may be considered NSFW...
"Jerry Lawler" = Vic Grimes
_________________________________________________________________
Main Event
HONKY TONK MAN versus
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS
versus
Nature Boy's wrestling debut in XPW Remixed. Long, Memphis-styled stalling tactics to start the segment. As if the two heels are competing to see who can draw the loudest jeers. Crowd is absolutely whipped into a frenzy by their mutual hatred for both men. They lock-up, argue over hair-pulling for a bit, before finally engaging in a rousing round of mat action. Each man willfully, casually (and constantly) cheats as eye rakes, 12 - 6 elbows, and low blows are all segues between series of wrestling holds and reversals. By the end, the crowd is actually cheering for each man to see who can cheat the hardest. Finally after a series of roll-ups and reversals (assisted by a handful of tights of course), Buddy Rogers manages to roll through - pause for a moment so the crowd can recognize the situation and react (which they do, with loud CHEERS) - and cinches in his debilitating Figure-4 leglock! HTM cries out in pain and quickly flails his arms to tap-out! Crowd once again surprisingly pops for the finish, and the pouty, condescending, villainous Buddy Rogers.
Winner (by submission): "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS
GORDON SOLIE: Now this is a segment the audience will never forget again... Buddy Rogers shoots in for a leg dive I try to explain to people, "He's shooting in for a leg dive..." and you can see that image in your mind... he's going for the back leg... Of course a good wrestler always goes for the back leg, because that's the one that the guy can't move - he cannot retreat - he has to pull the other leg back first - and so consequently you've got that added advantage of him being momentarily motionless. Seconds later, Honky Tonk Man is frantically tapping out.
Buddy Rogers immediately gets his heat back with a post match mic segment, in which he disparages the XPW crowd while touting his own greatness. Once again, Buddy Rogers discusses the reformation of the majestic stable in wrestling history - the Diamond Dynasty, led by himself of course. Here they will overtake the most dangerous and infamous title in all of fantasy wrestling history - the XPW Remixed championship! Buddy Rogers wants everybody here to "SHADDUP!!" so he can finally introduce the first member of his revamped Diamond Dynasty roster... but first, he can't resist a few more parting shots to his all-time mortal enemy...
NATURE BOY BUDDY ROGERS: He was managed by a guy on the West Coast named Johnny Doyle, and when Doyle -- see, when you got flesh-peddlers like McMahon, Toots Mondt, guys like that, they only utilize you when you're hot. Look at Lou Thesz -- greatest example in the world. When he was hot, boy, they were for him. The minute that sucker couldn't draw, they couldn't grind him up fast enough. But, thank God, Lou wasn't too smart, he didn't go for being ground up, he walked away, said 'I don't need you.' It's good to save your recess money. In other words - so you new school knuckleheads can understand - Lou Thesz "can't see me"
Without further ado, Rogers would like to introduce his latest recruit... when he's cut off by "Shipping Up To Boston" by the Dropkick Murphys! He's been answered by none other than the legend himself, the shooter LOU THESZ!!!
LOU THESZ: I never had any illusions that it was anything but a business. As I said in my book, anytime you sell tickets, it is a business. However, I preferred to see professional wrestling as it was in the gym and in public workouts! I was naive enough to believe it could be that exciting and still involve the audience....and still sell tickets. One theory is WWII as the turning point. When so many of the wrestlers were in the Armed Services, and the country was hungry for entertainment, the promoters took guys off the street who looked good and sold them to a hungry public as "rasslers." This started the trend toward the entertainment form we have today. Responsibility is shared, but it is also irrelevant. It doesn't matter that what the Buddy Rogers of this world did in the ring was unrelated to wrestling! Or that the hundreds of promoters presented a product totally unrelated to wrestling! Or that Strangler Lewis and Vince McMahon continue to do something totally unrelated to wrestling! The reality is still the same: it sells tickets.
And if you really want to sell tickets - if you really want to move the masses and print money with your own face on it - you can do only one thing. Book the biggest match in wrestling today - LOU THESZ versus BUDDY ROGERS the rematch!!! Crowd pops at Thesz's declaration, while Rogers flashes a look of concern and perhaps fear??? Buddy Rogers angrily retorts and the two have a brief dueling mics bit. Buddy Rogers - full of flustered bluster - is finally cajoled into accepting the challenge at "Fall Out"! Huge cheers! But this won't be just any match - it must be a match with finality. A match big enough to put their eternal feud to rest once and for all... an "I QUIT" match! Rogers and Thesz drops mics and go nose to nose, angrily jawing away! Rogers head butts Thesz and the two start scrapping! Immediately XPW security pours into the ring to separate the men, as chaos reins supreme in the Slaughtahouse! The crowd is going wild!
"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers versus Lou Thesz in an I QUIT match! Only at "Fall Out"!!!
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________________
GORDON SOLIE: Well isn't that strange.. That can create a real elitist attitude. Then of course, with the advent of television, I knew that everybody was watching TV, I might have college professors, I might have doctors - these aren't mental age 14 people - so let's not talk down to them to anybody, let's talk too them, and let's not be afraid to stretch them a little bit. If they are not terribly educated, throw a word in there occasionally that might cause them to say, "What the hell did he say?" and pick up a dictionary and look it up. So I felt that it was an opportunity, and this is sounding very self-aggrandizing but, I felt it was an opportunity to entertain and to, very frankly, educate - and I don't mean that to sound elitist, I realized from talking to the fans and all of that here was an area that I wasn't covering, and they were questioning - and I would go about trying to figure out a way to cover it so that there would be a logical explanation for what was going on. The artist Lou Thesz is the same way - he's going to teach all these youngsters out here what real wrestling is. And I for one personally can't wait for him to shut the Nature Boy's big mouth once and for all!
** FADE OUT **
CREDITS:
LOU THESZ: WrestlingClassics Editorial
NATURE BOY BUDDY ROGERS: Sleeper hold Part III by Ray Tennenbaum
MATT STRIKER: Declaration of Independents Interview (2004)
GORDON SOLIE: Jeremy Hartley interview
____________________________________________________________________
versus
Nature Boy's wrestling debut in XPW Remixed. Long, Memphis-styled stalling tactics to start the segment. As if the two heels are competing to see who can draw the loudest jeers. Crowd is absolutely whipped into a frenzy by their mutual hatred for both men. They lock-up, argue over hair-pulling for a bit, before finally engaging in a rousing round of mat action. Each man willfully, casually (and constantly) cheats as eye rakes, 12 - 6 elbows, and low blows are all segues between series of wrestling holds and reversals. By the end, the crowd is actually cheering for each man to see who can cheat the hardest. Finally after a series of roll-ups and reversals (assisted by a handful of tights of course), Buddy Rogers manages to roll through - pause for a moment so the crowd can recognize the situation and react (which they do, with loud CHEERS) - and cinches in his debilitating Figure-4 leglock! HTM cries out in pain and quickly flails his arms to tap-out! Crowd once again surprisingly pops for the finish, and the pouty, condescending, villainous Buddy Rogers.
Winner (by submission): "NATURE BOY" BUDDY ROGERS
GORDON SOLIE: Now this is a segment the audience will never forget again... Buddy Rogers shoots in for a leg dive I try to explain to people, "He's shooting in for a leg dive..." and you can see that image in your mind... he's going for the back leg... Of course a good wrestler always goes for the back leg, because that's the one that the guy can't move - he cannot retreat - he has to pull the other leg back first - and so consequently you've got that added advantage of him being momentarily motionless. Seconds later, Honky Tonk Man is frantically tapping out.
Buddy Rogers immediately gets his heat back with a post match mic segment, in which he disparages the XPW crowd while touting his own greatness. Once again, Buddy Rogers discusses the reformation of the majestic stable in wrestling history - the Diamond Dynasty, led by himself of course. Here they will overtake the most dangerous and infamous title in all of fantasy wrestling history - the XPW Remixed championship! Buddy Rogers wants everybody here to "SHADDUP!!" so he can finally introduce the first member of his revamped Diamond Dynasty roster... but first, he can't resist a few more parting shots to his all-time mortal enemy...
NATURE BOY BUDDY ROGERS: He was managed by a guy on the West Coast named Johnny Doyle, and when Doyle -- see, when you got flesh-peddlers like McMahon, Toots Mondt, guys like that, they only utilize you when you're hot. Look at Lou Thesz -- greatest example in the world. When he was hot, boy, they were for him. The minute that sucker couldn't draw, they couldn't grind him up fast enough. But, thank God, Lou wasn't too smart, he didn't go for being ground up, he walked away, said 'I don't need you.' It's good to save your recess money. In other words - so you new school knuckleheads can understand - Lou Thesz "can't see me"
Without further ado, Rogers would like to introduce his latest recruit... when he's cut off by "Shipping Up To Boston" by the Dropkick Murphys! He's been answered by none other than the legend himself, the shooter LOU THESZ!!!
LOU THESZ: I never had any illusions that it was anything but a business. As I said in my book, anytime you sell tickets, it is a business. However, I preferred to see professional wrestling as it was in the gym and in public workouts! I was naive enough to believe it could be that exciting and still involve the audience....and still sell tickets. One theory is WWII as the turning point. When so many of the wrestlers were in the Armed Services, and the country was hungry for entertainment, the promoters took guys off the street who looked good and sold them to a hungry public as "rasslers." This started the trend toward the entertainment form we have today. Responsibility is shared, but it is also irrelevant. It doesn't matter that what the Buddy Rogers of this world did in the ring was unrelated to wrestling! Or that the hundreds of promoters presented a product totally unrelated to wrestling! Or that Strangler Lewis and Vince McMahon continue to do something totally unrelated to wrestling! The reality is still the same: it sells tickets.
And if you really want to sell tickets - if you really want to move the masses and print money with your own face on it - you can do only one thing. Book the biggest match in wrestling today - LOU THESZ versus BUDDY ROGERS the rematch!!! Crowd pops at Thesz's declaration, while Rogers flashes a look of concern and perhaps fear??? Buddy Rogers angrily retorts and the two have a brief dueling mics bit. Buddy Rogers - full of flustered bluster - is finally cajoled into accepting the challenge at "Fall Out"! Huge cheers! But this won't be just any match - it must be a match with finality. A match big enough to put their eternal feud to rest once and for all... an "I QUIT" match! Rogers and Thesz drops mics and go nose to nose, angrily jawing away! Rogers head butts Thesz and the two start scrapping! Immediately XPW security pours into the ring to separate the men, as chaos reins supreme in the Slaughtahouse! The crowd is going wild!
"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers versus Lou Thesz in an I QUIT match! Only at "Fall Out"!!!
** CUT **
_________________________________________________________________
GORDON SOLIE: Well isn't that strange.. That can create a real elitist attitude. Then of course, with the advent of television, I knew that everybody was watching TV, I might have college professors, I might have doctors - these aren't mental age 14 people - so let's not talk down to them to anybody, let's talk too them, and let's not be afraid to stretch them a little bit. If they are not terribly educated, throw a word in there occasionally that might cause them to say, "What the hell did he say?" and pick up a dictionary and look it up. So I felt that it was an opportunity, and this is sounding very self-aggrandizing but, I felt it was an opportunity to entertain and to, very frankly, educate - and I don't mean that to sound elitist, I realized from talking to the fans and all of that here was an area that I wasn't covering, and they were questioning - and I would go about trying to figure out a way to cover it so that there would be a logical explanation for what was going on. The artist Lou Thesz is the same way - he's going to teach all these youngsters out here what real wrestling is. And I for one personally can't wait for him to shut the Nature Boy's big mouth once and for all!
** FADE OUT **
CREDITS:
LOU THESZ: WrestlingClassics Editorial
NATURE BOY BUDDY ROGERS: Sleeper hold Part III by Ray Tennenbaum
MATT STRIKER: Declaration of Independents Interview (2004)
GORDON SOLIE: Jeremy Hartley interview
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