|
Post by MadStepDad on Apr 16, 2011 13:28:53 GMT -5
AUTHORS NOTE:
Perhaps I should have opened with a disclaimer. XPW TV is a small, independently broadcast program that only airs in certain markets at extreme hours of the night (1 – 3 AM or so, depending on area). It runs 60 minutes with commercials, and is fast-paced WAAAAY-off Broadway production of obnoxious Jerry Springer belligerence and smash mouth violence. Production quality is somewhere in between TNA’s “Hardcore Justice” set (with dim, strip club lighting) and a snuff film. The XPW TV show is more a 60 minute infomercial for the actual in-ring, PPV product. Kind of like how the old Hanna Barbara stuff, and Transformers and Go-Bots shows were just commercials for the toys. Admittedly, the “match” quality is not what takes premium importance on the weekly serial – it’s just a 60 minute spot for the monthly super card, where the real money-making action takes place. Sadly, we just don’t have the budget for the studio time, arena rental or the roster to adequately stock a weekly TV show and a monthly super card without sacrificing quality. Perhaps as XPW grows and expands, and adds additional names to the roster, we can fatten the weekly portion.
As a die-hard Hip Hop fanatic I strongly believe in the art of “mash-up” radio, IE: taking two distinct forms of music and mashing them together. Here, my usage of official character dialogue is a tribute to this style. By no means does this take any less time or effort, and I think it’s even more enjoyable to read knowing these were their words as spoken. Just slightly rearranged to fit my context. Hopefully this style will make more sense when I present the big PPV, and you’ll see firsthand how the allure (and stench) of XPW is beginning to captivate the entire wrestling universe. And they’re still “new” promos as far as I’m concerned, if it’s something you’ve never read before. I’m just saying it’s gay, nerdy and fantastic enough to be writing about fantasy wrestling in the first place, I just want to have something somewhat “real” to speak to. Plus I was hoping it may shed some light on some real-life dark chapters in our favorite sports past. Kind of like historical fiction, you’ll see when I shed light on the GDT Inc Trio’s background and relationship to other figures on my roster. Stuff like that. So I will continue to use real in-character dialogue – my own promos, writing and interludes come in italics.
So hopefully my vision is a bit clearer – quick little 60 minute assaults hidden away on some late night pay channel somewhere, playing on a broken down TV at a motel crack spot. Daring you to buy their little product and become hopelessly hooked. The first hit is always free. Enjoy!
|
|
|
Post by MadStepDad on Apr 16, 2011 13:29:06 GMT -5
ED "Strangler" LEWIS (part owner of XPW Remixed): I have followed every line of athletics and find that wrestling is the best body builder and health builder in athletics! I've wrestled for 17 years and during that time I've toured all over the world and met and defeated the best wrestlers! XPW (remixed) is the new face of professional wrestling; offering the purest in-ring product this industry can produce. Raising the bar in the face of bare-knuckle fighting, this organization will place a premium on the purest and most base of all human instincts - violence. XPW will showcase legalized murder. Not since the days of the Roman Gladiators, or the turn of the century shooters and hookers have you seen a showcase of such brutalized civility. Be forewarned, the cadre of madmen, sickos and lunatics contained within are some of the scariest, unholy monsters in all of professional wrestling history. The most vile and despicable men (and women) this industry has ever birthed. All under the new umbrella of XPW Remixed; a virtual Ravenloft army fashioned by the Dark Powers to unleash upon an unsuspecting society. What you are about to witness is real. Parental Discretion Iz Advised._____________________________________________________________________________________ 1) Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening: Gordon Solie & Matt Striker GORDON SOLIE: (greeting the cameras from behind his newscaster desk) I'm here in the new XPW studios at Channel 13, Los Angeles with my broadcast partner Matt Striker. We're here to publicly announce the reformation of the most controversial, criminal-minded, crime ring every conceived - Xtreme Pro Wrestling. Well what I think about it was that Channel 13 finally realized that, "Hey wait a minute. We're either going to put up with this sort of thing and let it go..." Now Ozzmania, I don't think this fellow was all that anxious to do it because he was pretty much of a sports purist and is to this day - a delightful guy, a really delightful person so, anyhow, he left and Channel 13 said, "Alright, give it back to Gordon." And, of course, the heat was off by then, you know, things were back on a normal keel - so that's kind of the story on that picture. In fact I got some news for you, there were a hell of a lot of wrestlers who started their career that didn't know anything about it. You'd be amazed because either so many of these fellows are still in the sport or are still around, I certainly don't want to mention any names but I know of a lot of wrestlers who stepped into the ring, that had never had a professional match before and they couldn't win to save their lives simply because they weren't good enough to win. There's an awful lot of guys that broke into this business the hard way. Cut to ring__________________________________________________________________________2) THE SHEIK (w/ The Grand Wizard) versus UNNAMED JOBBER versus Quick squash, with The Sheik brutalizing his young opponent. Real purpose is to show the cramped, claustrophobic, rowdy environment inside XPW arena (a converted armory somewhere in seedy Los Angeles) and display the electricity TGW helps generate at ringside with his boisterous and eccentric heelish act. With no explicit DQ rule in effect, the Sheik is not penalized for his liberal use of spikes, forks, pencils (and in the final climatic blow) a giant fireball - so he easily wins. Post match, The Grand Wizard finally takes the ring to antagonize the crowd further. He tells the rabid audience that The Sheik is here to claim the XPW world title on behalf of his masters in the Gold Dust Trio Inc (Mister Mondt, Strangler Lewis & TGW). They will all reshape destiny together! To emphasize his point in the most brutal fashion possible, TGW orders The Sheik to continue the assault on the Unnamed Jobber. They're breaking out the barbed wire! Suddenly!..
A jet-black savior appears through the cramped audience wielding a steel chair... Enter THE MESSIAH!!!Quick in-and-out ninja assault on The Sheik with the steel chair, driving both he and his manager The Grand Wizard from the ring! Crowd explodes with cheers as TGW rages. Finally security is on the scene, but The Messiah flees back into the confines of the boisterous crowd and leads them in a rousing chant of "XPW! XPW! XPW!!" - further taunting TGW and The Sheik! TGW has the house mic one final time. THE GRAND WIZARD: I think it's the BOOZE in the fans that make them boo us! The Grand Wizard and The Sheik! Who will not only return wearing what his rightfully his - the XPW World Championship belt. At last! Worn by a man with dignity! A man with distinction! And a man who is SUPREME in the ring! And of course, that is The SHEIK. Who will wear the belt into the ring and will also wear it out of the ring! Messiah, you're a loser! That's all there is to it! You're a loser loser loser!!!__________________________________________________________________________3) Press conference with TERRY FUNK announcing his participation in the upcoming Triple Threat match to crown the new XPW champion at "New Years Revolution" TERRY FUNK: Oh gosh, there were so many different times up there [in XPW]. Some of them are notoriously remembered and some of them are just wonderful memories. You know, when I was up there and won the championship that was a great thrill to me. It really was. And seeing the guys, just seeing that whole organization, start from a pittance, just a puddle in the road, and then becoming big enough to be recognized by Toots Mondt, the guru and king of professional wrestling... and also the idiot! The Funker is coming BACK to XPW because I am a bad hombre from the state of Texas! Meaner than a rattlesnake, tougher than shoe leather, more dangerous than a hollowed-eyed scorpion, middle-aged and crazy, crazy like a fox! That’s why! But who will be his two opponents??? Tune in to "New Year's Revolution" to find out!!!__________________________________________________________________________4a) Altercation at last ECW card puts XPW in the cross hairs. 4b) TOMMY DREAMER DEBUTS IN XPWHe's in the ring with backstage correspondent MSD for a brief question-and-answer session. The XPW crowd warmly received Dreamer and he plays to them accordingly.MSD: After ECW shut down, what made you decide to come here instead of, say, WWF or TNA? TOMMY DREAMER: I had my closure in 2005 and WWE chose to bring [ECW] back. I fought very hard to continue the path and I think...[XPW] wasn’t just a spur of the moment plan – it was something I was thinking about for a long time. I was meeting a lot of people that told me how myself and [ECW] or other guys impacted their lives...They were like, 'It changed, what happened?' or 'Man, they didn’t do it right.' I just don’t want that to be how people remember us, so this is a way for people to remember [ECW]. I’m trying to make XPW as authentic as possible for the guys that did it and the fans that still chant it. We single-handedly changed the wrestling business and this is going to be the last time we’re all together. XPW is the best men and women who went out there every single night and busted their butts for the people. No one got rich doing it, which is a shame because it’s left such a legacy and everyone deserves more money for what they put their bodies through. We all went through it together and were an extremely dysfunctional family, but we all took great pride in what we did. MSD: Looking back on it now, did you realize you guys in ECW were creating such an indelible imprint in the minds of wrestling fans everywhere? TOMMY DREAMER: Looking back on it now, a lot of us didn’t know what we were doing when we were doing it and the impact it would have, but it was still an amazing time. XPW does things their way. If you think about it from the day where there were wrestling territories...fans got the opportunity to make a choice: Do I want to watch the NWA? Do I want to watch Florida Championship Wrestling? Do I want to watch Mid-Atlantic? Do I want to watch the WWF? Do I want to watch, you know...anything cable TV has to offer? Then they all went away, and now it’s, 'Do I want to watch WWE, or do I want to watch TNA?' The answer is XPW!!! I’m a wrestling fan so I watch Monday Night Raw and I watch NXT (though I fast-forward through it a lot). I watch TNA and I watch SmackDown. XPW gives you a different choice. MSD: XPW Remixed sure is different.. TOMMY DREAMER: I think that’s key – we need an alternative, because otherwise, we’re all just watching one thing. I live in New York and I like the New York Yankees, but I also like the New York Mets. I like to have choices and I don’t want to keep seeing the same people and the same stuff over and over again. I’m not knocking the men and women in WWE, because honestly, leaving WWE was the hardest decision I ever had to make. There are so many men and women in WWE that I hired and I love watching them be successful. I will always be a wrestling fan, and XPW's "New Years Revolution" is a way for me to give back to the business that I have loved since I was nine years old.__________________________________________________________________________5) Introducing the XPW King of the Death Match 2011...
JUN KASAI!!!__________________________________________________________________________6) MAIN EVENT Nightmare Freddy versus Boogeyman versus What the ****? THIS is our main event? What kind of second-rate, shoddy organization...? Predictably the crowd shits on this match almost immediately. As soon as "Boogeyman" hit the ring, he rolled "Nightmare Freddy" up in a small-package for the referee to make the three-count. However, the bell had not sounded yet so the referee was confused as to what to do. "Boogeyman" stands up and tells the referee to signal for the bell. As soon as the bell sounds (to still massive boos and garbage being thrown into the ring), Freddy whips Boogey into the ropes and then reverses into a sunset flip. The referee made the three-count, and the match is over in 14 seconds (?) There is a sense of confusion in the ring, when suddenly - the two "monsters" break character and rip off their masks...It's EDDIE & DOUG GILBERT!!!They proceed to go into business for themselves and cut a brutal shoot promo on Gold Dust Trio Inc, XPW (remixed), a "broken down" Sabu and the so-called "CEO of Hardcore" Vic Grimes! Crowd sits in stunned silence at the sudden and unprovoked shoot from the Gilbert brothers! XPW security tries rushing the ring, but the Gilbert brothers fight them off with chairs to retain control. Doug Gilbert continues to rant into the mic, using excessive profanity. SUDDENLY - a familiar theme song cuts through the arena, cutting the Gilberts off and drowning out the mic...Enter the Homicidal, Genocidal, Suicidal SABU!!!Sabu clears the ring with the use of his own steel chair, climaxing with a pulverizing Arabian face buster to a stranded Doug Gilbert. Eddie and Doug are in shock, and attempt to regain their senses outside the ring!Finally, XPW president and co-owner STRANGLER LEWIS appears to quell the commotion.
He allows security to usher the Gilbert brothers away, while taking the ring to confront Sabu. Lewis compliments Sabu for being a trend setter and iconic figure in pro wrestling. So it was only right that Gold Dust Trio Inc find Sabu an equally iconic opponent for the first XPW (Remixed) PPV, "New Years Revolution". But this won't just be any match, it will be a Mexican Death Match. And his opponent is a legendary master. Introducing...MIL MASCARAS!!!Iconic stare down between the two men, as they go to nose in the ring - with Strangler Lewis watching on approvingly in the background like UFC president Dana White at a weigh-in. Mil Mascaras sucks in his gut and puts both fists to his hips in his most-known wrestling pose. Crowd responds vociferously, and Sabu answers with his own taunt by pointing to the sky! Crowd erupts as Strangler Lewis promises a showdown for the ages at "New Years Revolution" - Sabu versus Mil Mascaras, Mexican Death match rules!!! Crowd is going ballistic!!![End Transmission] __________________________________________________________________________CREDITS: STRANGLER LEWIS: 1929 Training Video THE GRAND WIZARD: 1970's WWWF TV interview TERRY FUNK: About.com interview GORDON SOLIE: Jeremy Hartley interview TOMMY DREAMER: Ugo interview 8/5/2010
|
|
|
Post by MadStepDad on Mar 7, 2014 20:37:46 GMT -5
|
|