Post by MadStepDad on Oct 5, 2012 18:56:10 GMT -5
Cut to the in-studio announce team for the evening:
Gordon Solie
The countdown to “AHiH” continues… tonight - Strangler Lewis debut match… the XPW Remixed Boston controversy is aired out… Sable vs. Stratus for the biggest prize in fantasy woman’s wrestling… and more information on the medical status of Solie’s broadcast partner Matt Striker… STAY TUNED!!
** CUT **
__________________________________________________________
** BREAKING NEWS **
(Messiah victim of VIOLENT HOME INVASION)
In shocking, violent news - the “Ravenloft Death Match” scheduled for “AHiH” has irrevocably been *CANCELLED*. The challenger MESSIAH has recently been the victim of a violent, real-life home invasion. Folks, this is not an angle - the injuries to Messiah are REAL and CATASTROPHIC. Apparently - a group of thugs accosted Messiah in his home, beat him unmercifully - and CUT HIS THUMB OFF WITH GARDENING SHEARS. And he’s LUCKY it was only his thumb, if you know what I mean… The shocking expose follows on AMERICA’S MOST WANTED:
Many speculate as to the reasoning, motive (and personality) behind the attack. Was this the dark favor Jack Pfefer called into Rob Black last week?? Revenge for a supposed backstage tryst between Messiah & Rob Black’s wife (at the time) Lizzy Borden?? Either way - Messiah’s thumb has been SEVERED - and he’s gone into underground hiding for recovery. The KotDM title match is OFF. Many questions remain - most of them for injured, neck-brace-wearing Interim VP (and on-screen Commissioner) Jack Pfefer. But Pfefer is more concerned with selling his neck injury and angrily barking at MSD and camera men to leave his office with rude “NO COMMENT” retorts. As far as he’s concerned, Messiah got what’s coming to him. Despite the circumstances, Pfefer now believes XPW Remixed to be a much safer place…
** CUT **
________________________________________________________________
”The New Villain in Town”
This is the “bigger business” Jack Pfefer had to handle tonight. His official on-screen answer to “the coward” Sheamus’ decision to “flee XPW Remixed” and vacate his title - and the official coronation of *NEW* XPW Remixed Boston champion DEAN AMBROSE. Brief, chilling promo from Ambrose claiming to be the *MAN* around here and champion of the Black Army… when we’re interrupted by Strangler Lewis!
The XPW Remixed President is all smiles for a wary Ambrose (and still sore, neck brace-wearing Jack Pfefer) as he congratulates him on his new championship reign. But more subtle threats from Lewis paint himself (the STRANGLER) as the *MAN* around here (something - when pressed with his throat against the blade - Ambrose does NOT deny…) Strangler (much like everybody else) assumes Pfefer/Black is behind the cancellation of the "Ravenlof Death Match" @ AHiH - and he is reminding everybody of one thing: Strangler Lewis the boss of all bosses. And to top it all off - the XPW President declares a new #1 contender for Dean Ambrose be named tonight - with a 20 Man Over-the-top-rope BATTLE ROYAL! Ambrose & Pfefer are cautious and stifled… Ed Lewis gregarious and joyful. What does the Strangler have up his sleeve NOW??
#1 contender battle royal TONIGHT!!
Winner receives an XPW Remixed Boston championship match against Dean Ambrose
@ "ANOTHER HALLOWEEN in HELL"!!
** CUT **
_____________________________________________________________
** Tag Team Trilogy **
(Further proof XPW Remixed boasts the best tag team division in the land)
PITBULLS versus…
TRULY BAD INTENTIONS (w/ Tommaso Ciampa)
vs. w/
Pitbulls already in ring. Tommaso Ciampa gets TV entrance and has two black-hooded monsters behind him. He unmasks them to unveil: Ryback & Anderson… TRULY BAD INTENTIONS. Competitive squash with the Pitbulls playing well-muscled foils for the brute tactics of Team TBI. They run through the Pitbulls in short order and eject them right out of XPW Remixed (with a twisted version of the Pitbulls own top rope super bomb through a table). With all of Gordon Solie's talk and speculation about the brutal Messiah incident - TCiampa posing alongside the victorious duo post match to cut an intimidating sight. But who is their master sensei???
Winners: TRULY BAD INTENTIONS (*Debut*)
** CUT **
___________________________________________________________
CRYME TYME 2.0 (w/ Rashad Cameron)
vs
ROAD WARRIORS (Hawk & Animal)
w/
versus
Clash of the Street thugs with the LOD proving to be toughest of the pair. Plenty of pizzazz, action and obnoxious Hip Hop music video-themed antics from the Movement, but the Road Warriors are tag team elite. Doomsday Device to JTG gets the pin - and just the *threat* of a 2nd one to Rashad Cameron is enough to force the bad guys to flee.
Winners: ROAD WARRIORS
** SEGUE **
** XPW Remixed tag team titles **
** DUDLEY BOYZ © vs
PRIME TIME PLAYAZ (w/ GG)
vs w/
Not to be outdone, the Dudley Boyz enter to upstage the LOD's victory celebration - flaunt their belts - and remind the world who they are (the BEST). Their tag team championship draw tonight is the new-look FOCUS pairing of Kaos & Titus (the PtP). Good, flavorful variety show from them here but the Dudz keep it gutter, hood and straight Dudley-ville (mucking up the PtP's pretty Hollywood style). 3D through a table to Kaos for the pin. PtP look good but need a bit more seasoning.
Winners (and STILL XPW Remixed Tag Team champions): DUDLEY BOYZ
(Post match the inevitable face-off between the Dudz & LOD occurs - with each team barking in the others faces, the Dudz brandishing their championship belts, waves of security seperating them, and eager fans going wild in the background! This is the "most anticipated match in fantasy wrestling history!" Tune in to "Another Halloween in Hell" for this epic encounter!!)
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_________________________________________________________________
DAVID OTUNGA versus… NEW JACK!!
(Xtreme Rulesz match)
versus
Strangler Lewis is in the midst of giving a statement to MSD, cameras and reporters regarding Strikers injuries, Messiah's attack, Year-End Territory Wars Awards and his own successful comeback - when they are interrupted by David Otunga! There’s been another successful legal move in his battle to shut down the Xtreme Death match division and soon Strangler Lewis will be out of business (smile). But Lewis completely disarms with genial (yet subtly ruthless) wit and reminds him that until that day happens - Strangler Lewis is still the XPW Remixed president (aka "The Boss of all Bosses")… and makes Otunga compete tonight!!
Later, more vignettes ran of Otunga preparing for his match - and demanding Necro Butcher & Sandman (his clients) watch his back (of which they apparently weren’t too thrilled to do). His mystery opponent - not revealed until the last moment of course - is the returning NEW JACK (imprisoned at the hands of Otunga’s anti-hardcore movement previously). End result is academic - it’s the journey there that’s most fun. In this case, New Jack runs through his trash barrel of toys all over the hated David Otunga in rousing, crowd-pleasing fashion. Meanwhile, Sandman is shown passed out backstage in humorous fashion - and Necro Butcher wants no part of helping his Harvard lawyer out either. So Otunga gets mauled, beaten, pulverized and 187’d - all for the joy of the bloodthirsty crowd. New Jack leads them in chants of “XPW! XPW!” Xtreme lives!
Winner: NEW JACK
** CUT **
__________________________________________________________
** XPW Remixed Boston championship #1 Contenders match **
BATTLE ROYAL
Strangler Lewis has been laying down the law of the land - both in ring and out. Truly proving he is (beyond the shadow of a doubt) the “Boss of all Bosses”. His ruling declared early in the night set the tone - and now we stand at the precipice of a thrilling 20-man over the top rope battle royal to determine the new #1 contender to Dean Ambrose and his ill-begotten XPW Remixed Boston championship. The champion himself Dean Ambrose is special guest color man alongside Solie for this match - putting his mean streak, vicious wit and “James Dean of Death Match wrestling” persona over. Throughout the night, small vignettes and promos ran from various participants in the match - putting over its significance and challenge. A few big names (like Taz, Mark Henry & Gorgeous George) get TV entrances before commercial. When we return the ring is nearly full - but we still have time for ring entrances for Bruno Sammartino (!!) and John Cena (!!!) The ring has swelled with participants, but before we get started - the final entrant makes his debut. Thundering out to the same theme song as Lord Tensai - and seconded by a cackling Atsushi Onita - is 600 lb+ monster VISCERA (debut)!! Even Ambrose seems taken by surprise. Viscera storms into the ring as Onita disappears into the backstage shadows…
ORDER of ELIMINATION:
JINDER MAHAL
(Group effort spearheaded by Colt Cabana & Human Tornado)
”Havana Pitbull” RICKY REYES
(Pitched over the top at high velocity by an enraged JOHN CENA)
DICK SHIKAT
(The enforcer is unceremoniously dumped by the “Powers of Potential” Matt Morgan & Mark Henry - meanwhile somewhere in the back, their superstar agent “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers cackles with satisfaction)
MATT MORGAN
(PoP out dueled by the combo of Cena & Bruno - leading to Morgan’s double clothesline elimination! In the back, Rogers angrily throws his cigar to the ground and stomps his feet while cursing like a sailor!!)
SNUFF
(Eliminated by non-participant THE SHEIK, who pulled him over the top and performed his ever-popular “roaring fireball to the face” bit)
COLT CABANA
(After Reyes earlier elimination, the Movement is getting it together and wreaking havoc. Rashad Cameron & Michael Tarver toss Cabana out)
HUMAN TORNADO
(While battling with the forces of the Movement - he was sneak attacked and dumped by Gorgeous George! The Gorgeous one primps and preens and rubs it in Human Tornado’s shocked face)
MASAHIKO KIMURA
(Eliminated by the joint-tandem of Lord Tensai & VISCERA!)
RUCKUS
(Ex-communicated by his old running buddy Rashad Cameron (aka “Sabian”) and the wild prizefighter Michael Tarver)
MICHAEL TARVER
(All hell started breaking loose when the Movement’s Cryme Tyme 2.0 suddenly ran in and turned the match into a gang fight… Cena & Bruno wound up dueling back-to-back with steel chairs to keep the villains at bay. In the fracas, Tarver wound up taking a steel chair swing from Cena that eliminated him. It also broke his arm - and backstage, Cena never apologized. So Michael Tarver would go on to release a furious Tweet response to the incident - only to be released by the company shortly thereafter. Coincidence? Or racist conspiracy?)
A copy of Michael Tarver’s actual Twitter rampage:
(before he was fired)
"Family im a baaad man YAHWEH NISSI ,, soooooooo stop me if you heard this one for starters I went from sleeping in a car to being on 2 Wrestlemanias fun fact there soooooo this guy has a dream job but an adv he meets his dream girl assn db on his dream job he was to be away From his kids so he makes it work while spendiing 3 years trying to get his daughter to tampa to live him away from addcict mother Now during this dream job he fights trains show crazy potential on the mic regarded as one the best ever in developmental so he moves on ,,,To nxt and raw where he is burried on tv treated like trash back stage to the point where a certain top superstar takes notice of this Guy building steam with his promos back stage and begins to feel threatend so one night on a ppv the champ purposely fractures this Persons arm with a chair and after.the match backstage laughs in his face about it and walks off you know im talking about you just cant see See him anyway he takes out threats to his throne back stage to the point where the even get released from their dream job and ironicaly This guys dream wife leaves him tthreatening to take everything from him a month later on the se day his daughter was to move in with With them now his daughter is hysterical beyond help and has to be sent back home after three years of fighting and one week there Hmmmmm makes you wonder is it worth it because in your opinions WHO DO YOU KNOW WHO IS BAD.ENOUGH TO SCARE A BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY So I saw to all things mention ME ,,,,,,,,IM THAT BAD MAN ,,,,,,,,,,,YAHWEH NISSI"
TOMMASO CIAMPA
(After order was somewhat restored - and most of the Movement taken away in handcuffs - Ciampa was eliminated by Taz in a brief, but exciting inter-generational clash)
GORGEOUS GEORGE
(He spent all night hooked onto the bottom rope, afraid of being touched. He took his action to eliminate Human Tornado and then went right back to cowering. Until he was trapped into brief combat with Bruno Sammartino - for whom the crowd roared their approval. George tried begging off - and even suggested eliminating himself - but Bruno did the duty himself - tossing George over the top rope like a trash bag full of garbage)
DAMIEN SANDOW
(Wild Red Berry alumni Damien Sandow is eliminated by the monster heel Big Daddy V - who’s rampage thus far shows no signs of slowing. On commentary, Dean Ambrose continues to question his and Onita‘s motive - growing more paranoid by the moment)
RASHAD CAMERON
(The loud-mouth braggart is jointly tossed by Bruno & Cena to huge cheers)
MARK HENRY
(Viscera & Lord Tensai prove a powerful tandem - bigger than even the World‘s Strongest Man)
LORD TENSAI
(Onita henchmen dumped by Bruno)
TAZ
(Clung to Cena’s back too long with his deadly Tazzmission - only to have Cena take a desperate last-second back plunge that wind up propelling Taz over the top rope to the floor and elimination! Taz is PISSED by the crowd greatly cheers his loss!)
BRUNO SAMMARTINO
(In a 2-on-1 battle against Viscera, he and Cena run into a brick wall. They briefly manage to get their baby face offense together to rattle the big man - but an accidental clothesline from Cena winds up blasting Bruno over the top rope! Cena eliminates Bruno! By mistake?!? Dean Ambrose on commentary of course claims it’s completely intentional and that Cena (with his recent streak of attacking/punching referees) has shown his true colors!)
BIG DADDY VOODOO
(The artist formerly known as Viscera is reinvented with his black/red NWO Wolfpack-like colors and “Big Daddy Voodoo” moniker. He takes Cena to the bring of elimination, only to fall over the top rope himself by the very end… but his dominant showing has not gone unnoticed)
WINNER: JOHN CENA
Ambrose springs up from the anounce table ready to strike Cena - until Onita appears from the shadows of one of the side entrances. He is seconded by 3 other colorful, deadly, Far East assassins and they stand behind him menacingly. One of them you recognize as Jun Kasai - the 3rd is a woman... but the super-scary one in the front (with ceremonial mask and sword as well) remains urecogniable for now. But their mere presence alone is to cease all action! Both Cena (in the ring) and Ambrose (on commentary) stop what they're doing to watch Onita and his crew. He's clearly got them both psyched out as they don't know how to react! But Onita just smiles - welcomes the man monster VISCERA into their fold (you now realize he's been wearing their gang colors all along) and cackles diabolically! Who is he here with? What are they doing?? And who do they want (Cena or Ambrose)??
Behold the mystery, wonder (and corruption) of
ATSUSHI ONITA!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________
** DARK MATCHES **
A segment that puts over cut matches in fast, MTV-styled, video hype clips - usually set to some kind of heavy metal or Hip Hop background music.. this is the kind of stuff that would have appeared on the now-dormant XPW Online, or within the 3rd hour of XPW TV that has been lost…
Hilarious mocking vignette of Human Tornado challenging George to a PPV rematch! The Gorgeous One accepts!!
MCMG def. Generation ME vs. PG-13 (Triple Threat tag team)
(Exciting 3-way clash of cruiserweight blurs - MCMG re-establish themselves as threats)
Fabulous Kangaroos def. Heath Slater & Honky Tonk Man
(More notable for the final dissolution of Slater & Honky’s union - brought to a crashing end by a broken HTM guitar over Heath’s head!)
John Morrison def. Brian Kendrick (w/ Paul London)
(Brian & Paul are like Bill & Ted, but even with J-Mo's sore neck he's only one starship pain away from victory)
** Dark Match Main Event **
Wendi Richter def. Annie Social vs. Natalya Neidhart
(Another thrilling victory for the consensus #3 woman wrestler in the world Wendi Richter… but post match she is met in the ring by MILDRED BURKE who extends the “battle with honor” invitation! Richter accepts and the two women embrace and prepare for their showdown! Richter vs. Burke! Only @ “Another Halloween in Hell”!!)
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
SAMOA JOE vs NECRO BUTCHER vs SANDMAN
(Xtreme Rulez Triple Threat)
vs vs
Another Strangler Lewis-mandated match up tonight, as Joe & Thesz continue their social media smear campaign against each other. The champ Lou Thesz & challenger Samoa Joe have traded bitter barbs and shots over everything from their quality of training partners to supposed cardiovascular shortcomings. Both men in the body of their work have proven to be 60+ minute warriors capable of holding a high intensity level. That intensity is on full display here tonight as Samoa Joe tears through the “anti-hardcore” coalition of Sandman & Necro Butcher. They have a shared goal, but that’s about it. They can barely get along and insist on trying to one-up the other until they forget their “death match wrestling is dead” campaign and go Xtreme on each other! Joe relives his brutal Indy feud with Necro Butcher (savagely battering the Butcher with stiff shoot strikes and kicks), Sandman takes all his trademark bumps (including a somersault onto the metal guardrail propped up in the ring), and Samoa Joe winds up choking Necro Butcher unconscious (after his *partner* Sandman whacked in the head with his Kendo stick). Samoa Joe smears the blood upon his chest and screams vulgar death threats at champion Lou Thesz.
Winner: SAMOA JOE
_______________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed Television title
** Tourney FINALS **
vs w/
Not to be outdone, the Dudley Boyz enter to upstage the LOD's victory celebration - flaunt their belts - and remind the world who they are (the BEST). Their tag team championship draw tonight is the new-look FOCUS pairing of Kaos & Titus (the PtP). Good, flavorful variety show from them here but the Dudz keep it gutter, hood and straight Dudley-ville (mucking up the PtP's pretty Hollywood style). 3D through a table to Kaos for the pin. PtP look good but need a bit more seasoning.
Winners (and STILL XPW Remixed Tag Team champions): DUDLEY BOYZ
(Post match the inevitable face-off between the Dudz & LOD occurs - with each team barking in the others faces, the Dudz brandishing their championship belts, waves of security seperating them, and eager fans going wild in the background! This is the "most anticipated match in fantasy wrestling history!" Tune in to "Another Halloween in Hell" for this epic encounter!!)
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
_________________________________________________________________
DAVID OTUNGA versus… NEW JACK!!
(Xtreme Rulesz match)
versus
Strangler Lewis is in the midst of giving a statement to MSD, cameras and reporters regarding Strikers injuries, Messiah's attack, Year-End Territory Wars Awards and his own successful comeback - when they are interrupted by David Otunga! There’s been another successful legal move in his battle to shut down the Xtreme Death match division and soon Strangler Lewis will be out of business (smile). But Lewis completely disarms with genial (yet subtly ruthless) wit and reminds him that until that day happens - Strangler Lewis is still the XPW Remixed president (aka "The Boss of all Bosses")… and makes Otunga compete tonight!!
Later, more vignettes ran of Otunga preparing for his match - and demanding Necro Butcher & Sandman (his clients) watch his back (of which they apparently weren’t too thrilled to do). His mystery opponent - not revealed until the last moment of course - is the returning NEW JACK (imprisoned at the hands of Otunga’s anti-hardcore movement previously). End result is academic - it’s the journey there that’s most fun. In this case, New Jack runs through his trash barrel of toys all over the hated David Otunga in rousing, crowd-pleasing fashion. Meanwhile, Sandman is shown passed out backstage in humorous fashion - and Necro Butcher wants no part of helping his Harvard lawyer out either. So Otunga gets mauled, beaten, pulverized and 187’d - all for the joy of the bloodthirsty crowd. New Jack leads them in chants of “XPW! XPW!” Xtreme lives!
Winner: NEW JACK
** CUT **
__________________________________________________________
** XPW Remixed Boston championship #1 Contenders match **
BATTLE ROYAL
Strangler Lewis has been laying down the law of the land - both in ring and out. Truly proving he is (beyond the shadow of a doubt) the “Boss of all Bosses”. His ruling declared early in the night set the tone - and now we stand at the precipice of a thrilling 20-man over the top rope battle royal to determine the new #1 contender to Dean Ambrose and his ill-begotten XPW Remixed Boston championship. The champion himself Dean Ambrose is special guest color man alongside Solie for this match - putting his mean streak, vicious wit and “James Dean of Death Match wrestling” persona over. Throughout the night, small vignettes and promos ran from various participants in the match - putting over its significance and challenge. A few big names (like Taz, Mark Henry & Gorgeous George) get TV entrances before commercial. When we return the ring is nearly full - but we still have time for ring entrances for Bruno Sammartino (!!) and John Cena (!!!) The ring has swelled with participants, but before we get started - the final entrant makes his debut. Thundering out to the same theme song as Lord Tensai - and seconded by a cackling Atsushi Onita - is 600 lb+ monster VISCERA (debut)!! Even Ambrose seems taken by surprise. Viscera storms into the ring as Onita disappears into the backstage shadows…
ORDER of ELIMINATION:
JINDER MAHAL
(Group effort spearheaded by Colt Cabana & Human Tornado)
”Havana Pitbull” RICKY REYES
(Pitched over the top at high velocity by an enraged JOHN CENA)
DICK SHIKAT
(The enforcer is unceremoniously dumped by the “Powers of Potential” Matt Morgan & Mark Henry - meanwhile somewhere in the back, their superstar agent “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers cackles with satisfaction)
MATT MORGAN
(PoP out dueled by the combo of Cena & Bruno - leading to Morgan’s double clothesline elimination! In the back, Rogers angrily throws his cigar to the ground and stomps his feet while cursing like a sailor!!)
SNUFF
(Eliminated by non-participant THE SHEIK, who pulled him over the top and performed his ever-popular “roaring fireball to the face” bit)
COLT CABANA
(After Reyes earlier elimination, the Movement is getting it together and wreaking havoc. Rashad Cameron & Michael Tarver toss Cabana out)
HUMAN TORNADO
(While battling with the forces of the Movement - he was sneak attacked and dumped by Gorgeous George! The Gorgeous one primps and preens and rubs it in Human Tornado’s shocked face)
MASAHIKO KIMURA
(Eliminated by the joint-tandem of Lord Tensai & VISCERA!)
RUCKUS
(Ex-communicated by his old running buddy Rashad Cameron (aka “Sabian”) and the wild prizefighter Michael Tarver)
MICHAEL TARVER
(All hell started breaking loose when the Movement’s Cryme Tyme 2.0 suddenly ran in and turned the match into a gang fight… Cena & Bruno wound up dueling back-to-back with steel chairs to keep the villains at bay. In the fracas, Tarver wound up taking a steel chair swing from Cena that eliminated him. It also broke his arm - and backstage, Cena never apologized. So Michael Tarver would go on to release a furious Tweet response to the incident - only to be released by the company shortly thereafter. Coincidence? Or racist conspiracy?)
A copy of Michael Tarver’s actual Twitter rampage:
(before he was fired)
"Family im a baaad man YAHWEH NISSI ,, soooooooo stop me if you heard this one for starters I went from sleeping in a car to being on 2 Wrestlemanias fun fact there soooooo this guy has a dream job but an adv he meets his dream girl assn db on his dream job he was to be away From his kids so he makes it work while spendiing 3 years trying to get his daughter to tampa to live him away from addcict mother Now during this dream job he fights trains show crazy potential on the mic regarded as one the best ever in developmental so he moves on ,,,To nxt and raw where he is burried on tv treated like trash back stage to the point where a certain top superstar takes notice of this Guy building steam with his promos back stage and begins to feel threatend so one night on a ppv the champ purposely fractures this Persons arm with a chair and after.the match backstage laughs in his face about it and walks off you know im talking about you just cant see See him anyway he takes out threats to his throne back stage to the point where the even get released from their dream job and ironicaly This guys dream wife leaves him tthreatening to take everything from him a month later on the se day his daughter was to move in with With them now his daughter is hysterical beyond help and has to be sent back home after three years of fighting and one week there Hmmmmm makes you wonder is it worth it because in your opinions WHO DO YOU KNOW WHO IS BAD.ENOUGH TO SCARE A BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY So I saw to all things mention ME ,,,,,,,,IM THAT BAD MAN ,,,,,,,,,,,YAHWEH NISSI"
TOMMASO CIAMPA
(After order was somewhat restored - and most of the Movement taken away in handcuffs - Ciampa was eliminated by Taz in a brief, but exciting inter-generational clash)
GORGEOUS GEORGE
(He spent all night hooked onto the bottom rope, afraid of being touched. He took his action to eliminate Human Tornado and then went right back to cowering. Until he was trapped into brief combat with Bruno Sammartino - for whom the crowd roared their approval. George tried begging off - and even suggested eliminating himself - but Bruno did the duty himself - tossing George over the top rope like a trash bag full of garbage)
DAMIEN SANDOW
(Wild Red Berry alumni Damien Sandow is eliminated by the monster heel Big Daddy V - who’s rampage thus far shows no signs of slowing. On commentary, Dean Ambrose continues to question his and Onita‘s motive - growing more paranoid by the moment)
RASHAD CAMERON
(The loud-mouth braggart is jointly tossed by Bruno & Cena to huge cheers)
MARK HENRY
(Viscera & Lord Tensai prove a powerful tandem - bigger than even the World‘s Strongest Man)
LORD TENSAI
(Onita henchmen dumped by Bruno)
TAZ
(Clung to Cena’s back too long with his deadly Tazzmission - only to have Cena take a desperate last-second back plunge that wind up propelling Taz over the top rope to the floor and elimination! Taz is PISSED by the crowd greatly cheers his loss!)
BRUNO SAMMARTINO
(In a 2-on-1 battle against Viscera, he and Cena run into a brick wall. They briefly manage to get their baby face offense together to rattle the big man - but an accidental clothesline from Cena winds up blasting Bruno over the top rope! Cena eliminates Bruno! By mistake?!? Dean Ambrose on commentary of course claims it’s completely intentional and that Cena (with his recent streak of attacking/punching referees) has shown his true colors!)
BIG DADDY VOODOO
(The artist formerly known as Viscera is reinvented with his black/red NWO Wolfpack-like colors and “Big Daddy Voodoo” moniker. He takes Cena to the bring of elimination, only to fall over the top rope himself by the very end… but his dominant showing has not gone unnoticed)
WINNER: JOHN CENA
Ambrose springs up from the anounce table ready to strike Cena - until Onita appears from the shadows of one of the side entrances. He is seconded by 3 other colorful, deadly, Far East assassins and they stand behind him menacingly. One of them you recognize as Jun Kasai - the 3rd is a woman... but the super-scary one in the front (with ceremonial mask and sword as well) remains urecogniable for now. But their mere presence alone is to cease all action! Both Cena (in the ring) and Ambrose (on commentary) stop what they're doing to watch Onita and his crew. He's clearly got them both psyched out as they don't know how to react! But Onita just smiles - welcomes the man monster VISCERA into their fold (you now realize he's been wearing their gang colors all along) and cackles diabolically! Who is he here with? What are they doing?? And who do they want (Cena or Ambrose)??
Behold the mystery, wonder (and corruption) of
ATSUSHI ONITA!
** CUT **
________________________________________________________
** DARK MATCHES **
A segment that puts over cut matches in fast, MTV-styled, video hype clips - usually set to some kind of heavy metal or Hip Hop background music.. this is the kind of stuff that would have appeared on the now-dormant XPW Online, or within the 3rd hour of XPW TV that has been lost…
Hilarious mocking vignette of Human Tornado challenging George to a PPV rematch! The Gorgeous One accepts!!
MCMG def. Generation ME vs. PG-13 (Triple Threat tag team)
(Exciting 3-way clash of cruiserweight blurs - MCMG re-establish themselves as threats)
Fabulous Kangaroos def. Heath Slater & Honky Tonk Man
(More notable for the final dissolution of Slater & Honky’s union - brought to a crashing end by a broken HTM guitar over Heath’s head!)
John Morrison def. Brian Kendrick (w/ Paul London)
(Brian & Paul are like Bill & Ted, but even with J-Mo's sore neck he's only one starship pain away from victory)
** Dark Match Main Event **
Wendi Richter def. Annie Social vs. Natalya Neidhart
(Another thrilling victory for the consensus #3 woman wrestler in the world Wendi Richter… but post match she is met in the ring by MILDRED BURKE who extends the “battle with honor” invitation! Richter accepts and the two women embrace and prepare for their showdown! Richter vs. Burke! Only @ “Another Halloween in Hell”!!)
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
SAMOA JOE vs NECRO BUTCHER vs SANDMAN
(Xtreme Rulez Triple Threat)
vs vs
Another Strangler Lewis-mandated match up tonight, as Joe & Thesz continue their social media smear campaign against each other. The champ Lou Thesz & challenger Samoa Joe have traded bitter barbs and shots over everything from their quality of training partners to supposed cardiovascular shortcomings. Both men in the body of their work have proven to be 60+ minute warriors capable of holding a high intensity level. That intensity is on full display here tonight as Samoa Joe tears through the “anti-hardcore” coalition of Sandman & Necro Butcher. They have a shared goal, but that’s about it. They can barely get along and insist on trying to one-up the other until they forget their “death match wrestling is dead” campaign and go Xtreme on each other! Joe relives his brutal Indy feud with Necro Butcher (savagely battering the Butcher with stiff shoot strikes and kicks), Sandman takes all his trademark bumps (including a somersault onto the metal guardrail propped up in the ring), and Samoa Joe winds up choking Necro Butcher unconscious (after his *partner* Sandman whacked in the head with his Kendo stick). Samoa Joe smears the blood upon his chest and screams vulgar death threats at champion Lou Thesz.
Winner: SAMOA JOE
_______________________________________________________________
XPW Remixed Television title
** Tourney FINALS **
Jinder Mahal vs Jack Brisco [debut] | Jack Brisco | |
John Morrison vs Damien Sandow | Damien Sandow | Jack Brisco |
Winner | ||||
Gorgeous George vs Human Tornado | Human Tornado | Alberto Del Rio | ||
Alberto Del Rio vs Colt Cabana | Alberto Del Rio |
Only @ “Another Halloween in Hell!!”
Coming Halloween Night!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
___________________________________________________________
** Mash-Up Wrestling Turf Wars **
Southshore MA bred Alexxis Nevaeh squares off against Hollywood fashion plate Melina in a battle of the promos. Melina is snooty and full of glamorous condescension as she touts her superiority and that of her home Mash-Up Wrestling affiliation. Alexxis defends herself, her honor and XPW Remixed’s woman’s division from denigration. She made a vow to defend that turf against any and all comers - and Melina has accepted! These two beauties will clash in a “No Honor No Respect” match @ “Another Halloween in Hell”!
** CUT TO RING **
** XPW Remixed Woman’s championship **
SABLE (1998) © versus TRISH STRATUS (2006)
versus
Another literal fantasy wrestling “Dream Match” - with two of the hottest female acts in HISTORY doing battle on the grandest stage for the biggest prize in the game! Video recap of their XPW Remixed rivalry - and the never-say-die attitude of Trish Stratus contrasted by the bitchy, arrogant condescension of Sable. The bell rings as the two women circle - and the crowd is 100% behind Trish Stratus here (but a few scattered signs in the crowd still support the XPW Remixed champion Sable). Lock up and power struggle won by Sable, who forces Trish back into the corner - but instead of breaking clean, she yells in Trish’s face! Stratus pushes her back only to have Sable retort with a wicked SLAP (oooooooo)!! Trish charges her and they’re off! They scramble, scuffle and brawl on the mat. Stratus applies a front face lock, but Sable pushes her into the corner. Sable gets in a few knees, forearms and chops to Stratus - really showing off her kickboxing skills. But Trish Stratus counters and gets in some Canadian chops of her own on Sable. Sable answers with some knees to the body of Stratus, and then flattens the face of 2000’s WWE woman’s division Trish Stratus with a wicked clothesline. The 1998 WWF Attitude queen (and XPW Remixed woman’s champion) Sable takes time to gyrate, pose and taunt her fallen challenger. Sable with some more kickboxing strikes to Stratus - but her charge off the ropes is leap-frogged by Stratus and met with a dropkick! Trish starts to take over the match. Matrix dodge, spin kick, springboard bulldog and Sable is forced to flee outside the ring!
After some cool down stalling from Sable, Trish finally chases her outside the ring and the brawl continues. Stratus tosses Sable back in the ring and gets a near fall after that beat down. Trish hit’s a backbreaker but can still only get 2. Trish attempts a suplex, but Sable goes back to the weakened rib cage area and takes over. She heelishly works Trish’s midsection with kicks, stomps, stretches and ring-post assisted rams. But even in all her cocky gloriousness, Sable can only get 2 counts. Sable tries for the power bomb - but gets countered into a face plant by Stratus! Samoan drop from Trish and she mounts her comeback - all the way to the bulldog finale. But this time Sable shoves off her attempt and sends her sailing through the middle ropes to the hard arena floor! Sable gets a breather, before following Trish outside and working her over. Back in Sable with a side kick on Stratus, but catches a big kick in the corner from Trish on a charge. The two women exchange numerous near falls and finisher teases. It all climaxes with Trish finally hitting the big bulldog and the crowd exploding! But before she can go for the pin…
Both women are attacked by a marauding AWESOME KONG! Ring the bell frantically as this match has been called on account of CHAOS! The monstrous ex-XPW Remixed woman’s champion (and “Territory Wars Woman/Diva of the Year” nominee) AWESOME KONG goes bananas on the two over hyped Barbie dolls - tossing them about the ring with reckless abandon! Implant busters to both of them! Sable manages to drag her sorry carcass (and her belt) backstage, fleeing instead of fighting - and leaving her opponent Trish Stratus helpless to take a HUGE power bomb from Kong OFF THE ENTRANCE RAMP through a table! OMG! “HOLY S***!” and “XPW! XPW!” chants!
Winner: NONE (no finish)
Awesome KONG has the last word… and laugh!!
** CUT **
___________________________________________________________
LOU THESZ © versus
GUNNER (w/ Jessica Darlin)
versus w/
Another high-quality XPW Remixed TV dream match featuring the rugged, working man success of Lou Thesz and the grimy, sleazy, skullduggery of Gunner & Darlin. The pair has becoming increasingly erratic as of late, with every loss mounting even more emotional frustration (which they take out on others). Gunner with his violence towards Darlin (which she seems to like) - and Darlin with her slutty porn star antics (being caught in highly suggestive scenarios with the likes of XPW Remixed C-Listers like Danny Havoc and Weedman - all who were ultimately throttled by Gunner in backstage vignettes). Solie’s focus on commentary remains Thesz unparallel 2x reign as XPW WORLD champion and reiterates Thesz claim to take on all challengers. The champ handily beats Gunner in a good science vs. strength match and proves he’s ready for the Iron Man challenge against Samoa Joe come “Another Halloween in Hell”. Shooters Club riding high, and stablemate Dan Severn takes on Strangler Lewis TONIGHT!!
Winner (by submission): LOU THESZ
** CUT **
** Feds Crackdown on the Black Army **
Backstage vignette of Commissioner Jack Pfefer (still with neck brace and cranky attitude) is in his office discussing more business matters (but won’t speak despairingly of Strangler Lewis)… Pfefer dodges ANOTHER phone call from Rob Black - until he gets uninvited guests… the FBI! They’re investigating the Messiah incident and all fingers are pointing towards Black/Pfefer. In a panic Pfefer denies everything, but it’s clear the heat is on. He is told to lawyer up and they leave him shaken and panic stricken.. So NOW Jack Pfefer decides to call Rob Black… and what does he tell him? The Coast is clear! All good now for Rob Black’s return to XPW Remixed, where he can reclaim his ownership position! Jack Pfefer is sending the airplane ticket out now! Rob Black will be back at “Another Halloween in Hell!! (but does he realize the muthaphuckkin FEDS are watching??)
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
** Xtreme Elimination Chamber Hype **
Sultry, “Xtreme violence meets taboo sex” hype video from hostess Jasmin St Claire - who has been promised as a “prize” to the victor of this match… just watching this hype package makes you feel dirty and violated…
Masada def. The Sheik & Sabu (Impromptu 3-way dance)
(Xtreme death match joined in progress by Sabu who re-inserted himself back into his deadly feud with his uncle. Ultimately, Snuff (another Elimination chamber combatant) attacked Sheik and brawled with him out of the picture. Masada then pinned Sabu after spiking him through a pane of glass. But while Masada was celebrating his gruesome victory - he was blindsided by POGO THE CLOWN (another Elimination chamber participant) who broke his barbed-wire shovel over the back of Masada’s head! Pogo is the last one standing!)
** SEGUE **
But everybody clears the ring when reigning KotDM champion KILO (along with his brainwashed human slave Sammi Lane) makes his way down. He’s trying to cut a mean, shouting promo but he’s practically drowned out by all the BOOS and “SHUT THE F*** UP!” chants from the crowd. He’s the greatest, he’s the meanest, he’s the baddest - he even mocks Messiah’s situation (while claiming to have no knowledge of it of course) - and on commentary Solie is just utterly disgusted with this guy and can’t conceal it (especially after what Kilo did to his broadcast partner Matt Striker). But Kilo’s rant is cut off by…
XPW Remixed president STRANGLER LEWIS
The XPW Remixed makes another decree - since he lost money on the “Ravenloft Death Match” billed for “AHiH” then somebody is gonna have to pay. Therefore, he is inserting Kilo as the last entrant in the Xtreme Elimination chamber - and putting the KotDM title up for grabs! Oh my! Huge cheer from the crowd! Wild, ballistic flip out from Kilo! Strangler Lewis makes a huge decree - boss of all bosses style!
Xtreme Elimination Chamber
(For the King of the Death Match championship!!)
Only @ "Another Halloween in Hell"!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
We’re back from commercial, but the irate Kilo hasn’t left the ring yet. He’s storming around, yanking on his valet Sammi Lane and generally acting like a violent, belligerent bully. When commentator Gordon Solie mentions something about it, Kilo is drawn to the announcer with an angry fire. He starts picking on Solie and pushing him around, until Solie snaps! He stands up, SLAPS Kilo in his stunned face, and throws the headset at him! The crowd pops HUGE as Solie grabs the house mic on his way up the entrance ramp and just… lets loose. Behold:
GORDON SOLIE: If this was ECW I wouldn’t be working with a hat like you… (referring to the beanie cap Kilo wears and his constant references to destroying ECW in Mash-Up Wrestling). You wanna see some spirit? I’m not coming back! And now thanks to the magic of live television, I’m gonna show the whole world why I was the unscripted, uncensored loose cannon of commentary! From Week 1 I’ve got a lecture in the difference between “pro wrestling” and “sports entertainment“… refer to the wrestlers as “superstars“. I’m told to deliberately ignore the moves and holds during the matches so I can “tell stories”… Well ignoring the moves and holds is DAMN INSULTING to the wrestlers - not the “entertainers” - who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in THAT RING! So I swallow the bitter pill, I’m a company guy… now this?? I called live PPVs on my own - solo - hasn’t been done before me or since! But I’m not a “sportz entertainment storyteller”… Well you know what? I’m sick of “Sportz Entertainment“! I‘m sick of Death Match wrestling!! I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen… and I’m sick of our chairman! All to feed his own insatiable ego! I am SICK of sportz entertainment, but most of all I’m sick of YOU! (throws headset in Kilo’s face) I never needed this job and I don’t want this job anymore! I QUIT!
Gordon is leaving, and Kilo is about to give chase… when none other than the “New Horror” Sami Callihan runs in for the save! He takes it right to the KotDM champion - Xtreme style! Hype for the Xtreme Elimination chamber, in which Sami Callihan has vowed to become victorious! KotDM title on the line between SIX of the sickest sonovabitches in Mash-Up Wrestling HISTORY!
** Only @ “Another Halloween in Hell”!! **
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
** Main Event **
STRANGLER LEWIS (debut) versus
versus w/
Another high-quality XPW Remixed TV dream match featuring the rugged, working man success of Lou Thesz and the grimy, sleazy, skullduggery of Gunner & Darlin. The pair has becoming increasingly erratic as of late, with every loss mounting even more emotional frustration (which they take out on others). Gunner with his violence towards Darlin (which she seems to like) - and Darlin with her slutty porn star antics (being caught in highly suggestive scenarios with the likes of XPW Remixed C-Listers like Danny Havoc and Weedman - all who were ultimately throttled by Gunner in backstage vignettes). Solie’s focus on commentary remains Thesz unparallel 2x reign as XPW WORLD champion and reiterates Thesz claim to take on all challengers. The champ handily beats Gunner in a good science vs. strength match and proves he’s ready for the Iron Man challenge against Samoa Joe come “Another Halloween in Hell”. Shooters Club riding high, and stablemate Dan Severn takes on Strangler Lewis TONIGHT!!
Winner (by submission): LOU THESZ
** CUT **
** Feds Crackdown on the Black Army **
Backstage vignette of Commissioner Jack Pfefer (still with neck brace and cranky attitude) is in his office discussing more business matters (but won’t speak despairingly of Strangler Lewis)… Pfefer dodges ANOTHER phone call from Rob Black - until he gets uninvited guests… the FBI! They’re investigating the Messiah incident and all fingers are pointing towards Black/Pfefer. In a panic Pfefer denies everything, but it’s clear the heat is on. He is told to lawyer up and they leave him shaken and panic stricken.. So NOW Jack Pfefer decides to call Rob Black… and what does he tell him? The Coast is clear! All good now for Rob Black’s return to XPW Remixed, where he can reclaim his ownership position! Jack Pfefer is sending the airplane ticket out now! Rob Black will be back at “Another Halloween in Hell!! (but does he realize the muthaphuckkin FEDS are watching??)
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
** Xtreme Elimination Chamber Hype **
Sultry, “Xtreme violence meets taboo sex” hype video from hostess Jasmin St Claire - who has been promised as a “prize” to the victor of this match… just watching this hype package makes you feel dirty and violated…
Masada def. The Sheik & Sabu (Impromptu 3-way dance)
(Xtreme death match joined in progress by Sabu who re-inserted himself back into his deadly feud with his uncle. Ultimately, Snuff (another Elimination chamber combatant) attacked Sheik and brawled with him out of the picture. Masada then pinned Sabu after spiking him through a pane of glass. But while Masada was celebrating his gruesome victory - he was blindsided by POGO THE CLOWN (another Elimination chamber participant) who broke his barbed-wire shovel over the back of Masada’s head! Pogo is the last one standing!)
** SEGUE **
But everybody clears the ring when reigning KotDM champion KILO (along with his brainwashed human slave Sammi Lane) makes his way down. He’s trying to cut a mean, shouting promo but he’s practically drowned out by all the BOOS and “SHUT THE F*** UP!” chants from the crowd. He’s the greatest, he’s the meanest, he’s the baddest - he even mocks Messiah’s situation (while claiming to have no knowledge of it of course) - and on commentary Solie is just utterly disgusted with this guy and can’t conceal it (especially after what Kilo did to his broadcast partner Matt Striker). But Kilo’s rant is cut off by…
XPW Remixed president STRANGLER LEWIS
The XPW Remixed makes another decree - since he lost money on the “Ravenloft Death Match” billed for “AHiH” then somebody is gonna have to pay. Therefore, he is inserting Kilo as the last entrant in the Xtreme Elimination chamber - and putting the KotDM title up for grabs! Oh my! Huge cheer from the crowd! Wild, ballistic flip out from Kilo! Strangler Lewis makes a huge decree - boss of all bosses style!
Xtreme Elimination Chamber
(For the King of the Death Match championship!!)
Only @ "Another Halloween in Hell"!!
** CUT TO COMMERCIAL **
We’re back from commercial, but the irate Kilo hasn’t left the ring yet. He’s storming around, yanking on his valet Sammi Lane and generally acting like a violent, belligerent bully. When commentator Gordon Solie mentions something about it, Kilo is drawn to the announcer with an angry fire. He starts picking on Solie and pushing him around, until Solie snaps! He stands up, SLAPS Kilo in his stunned face, and throws the headset at him! The crowd pops HUGE as Solie grabs the house mic on his way up the entrance ramp and just… lets loose. Behold:
GORDON SOLIE: If this was ECW I wouldn’t be working with a hat like you… (referring to the beanie cap Kilo wears and his constant references to destroying ECW in Mash-Up Wrestling). You wanna see some spirit? I’m not coming back! And now thanks to the magic of live television, I’m gonna show the whole world why I was the unscripted, uncensored loose cannon of commentary! From Week 1 I’ve got a lecture in the difference between “pro wrestling” and “sports entertainment“… refer to the wrestlers as “superstars“. I’m told to deliberately ignore the moves and holds during the matches so I can “tell stories”… Well ignoring the moves and holds is DAMN INSULTING to the wrestlers - not the “entertainers” - who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in THAT RING! So I swallow the bitter pill, I’m a company guy… now this?? I called live PPVs on my own - solo - hasn’t been done before me or since! But I’m not a “sportz entertainment storyteller”… Well you know what? I’m sick of “Sportz Entertainment“! I‘m sick of Death Match wrestling!! I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen… and I’m sick of our chairman! All to feed his own insatiable ego! I am SICK of sportz entertainment, but most of all I’m sick of YOU! (throws headset in Kilo’s face) I never needed this job and I don’t want this job anymore! I QUIT!
Gordon is leaving, and Kilo is about to give chase… when none other than the “New Horror” Sami Callihan runs in for the save! He takes it right to the KotDM champion - Xtreme style! Hype for the Xtreme Elimination chamber, in which Sami Callihan has vowed to become victorious! KotDM title on the line between SIX of the sickest sonovabitches in Mash-Up Wrestling HISTORY!
** Only @ “Another Halloween in Hell”!! **
** CUT **
____________________________________________________________
** Main Event **
STRANGLER LEWIS (debut) versus
DAN SEVERN
versus
There has been much controversy over champion Lou Thesz’ decision to name his stable mate Dan Severn as the Stranglers first opponent. Some say it’s secular and inclusive - otherwise say it will be dreadfully boring. Rumors and rumblings of unhappiness are said to come from Bruno Sammartino, John Cena and others over the decision. But true fantasy wrestling connoisseurs know there is a science to Lou’s pick. Not only has Seven been on a roll lately, and a legit 1990’s throwback to the shooters and hookers of yore - he has a credited victory over Strangler Lewis in fantasy competition. On the old BCCW show “Pyramid’s Peak” (one of the lowest rated shows in company history) Dan Severn *beat* Strangler Lewis by Dragon sleeper submission, even though the loss was never fully accredited or accepted. So with this pick, Lou Thesz is hoping to derail the Strangler Lewis hype train early. All of this would have been covered on commentary, but after Solie’s striking walk out - this match plays to silence. The intensity is palpable, and the excitement genuine. The two warriors host an exciting heavyweight clash that is 100% pure wrestling. Purists and old school mat aficionados are thrilled by the nuances and scientific display - even if loud portions of the audience are prone to chanting “BORING!” at moments in the match. But things pick up at the end when Severn finally gets a successful go-behind and starts hammering Lewis with rolling German suplexes… until the Strangler muscles into defensive position on the mat - stymies Severn with an illegal grip of the tights for leverage - and goes for the Dragon sleeper submission! At the last moment Severn counters out into top control, but Strangler Lewis surprisingly (and deftly) maneuvers Severn into a… Kimura arm lock!?!? Yes, the same hold Severn’s stable mate Masahiko Kimura used to disable Gracie - and Brock Lesnar used to break Triple H’s arm! Severn tries with all his might… before slowly tap… tap… tapping out!! Then he starts tapping out more frantically as Strangler Lewis refuses to relinquish the hold - until he literally *BREAKS DAN SEVERNS ARM* in a brutal, sickening snap!
Winner (by submission): STRANGLER LEWIS
The cavalry of Lou Thesz and others arrives too late - the damage has been done. Thesz leaves with Severn up the ramp, while pausing to have a long distance staredown with his former mentor Strangler Lewis…
just then - BRUNO SAMMARTINO brushes past Lou Thesz and upstages him! Sammartino takes it upon himself to address Strangler for his brutal tactics (both professional, business and in the ring) and vowing to snap his comeback trail himself - like he should have done tonight! That’s right - BRUNO SAMMARTINO IS CHALLENGING STRANGLER LEWIS TO A MATCH @ “AHiH”!! XPW Remixed VP Toots Mondt and Lewis briefly confer before Lewis ACCEPTS! Fade out on Lewis & Mondt looking like wolves who just ate an antelope - Sammartino angrily staring them down - and exchanging looks with the XPW World champion Lou Thesz as well!!
Buy the muthaphuckkin PPV!!
** FADE OUT **
______________________________________________________________
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz © versus Samoa Joe
II
("Iron Man Match")
** Xtreme Elimination Chamber **
(For the KotDM title!!)
feat: SHEIK... SNUFF... SAMI CALLIHAN... POGO the CLOWN... MASADA... and KILO ©
** XPW TV title tourney FINALS **
Alberto Del Rio (2012) versus Jack Brisco (1974)
Strangler Lewis vs Bruno Sammartino
(Xtreme Grudge Match)
** XPW Remixed Tag Team titles **
Dudley Boyz (2009) © versus Road Warriors (1991)
** XPW Remixed Woman's championship **
Awesome Kong vs Sable © vs Trish Stratus
(Triple Threat match)
**PLUS special attraction woman's matches**
Wendi Richter vs Mildred Burke
Alexxis Nevaeh (XPW) vs Melina Perez (ROH)
** XPW Remixed Boston championship **
Dean Ambrose (2015) © versus John Cena (2012)
________________________________________________________
CREDITS:
GORDON SOLIE: Joey Styles "shoot rant" Monday Night Raw
MICHAEL TARVER: Twitter 2011
versus
There has been much controversy over champion Lou Thesz’ decision to name his stable mate Dan Severn as the Stranglers first opponent. Some say it’s secular and inclusive - otherwise say it will be dreadfully boring. Rumors and rumblings of unhappiness are said to come from Bruno Sammartino, John Cena and others over the decision. But true fantasy wrestling connoisseurs know there is a science to Lou’s pick. Not only has Seven been on a roll lately, and a legit 1990’s throwback to the shooters and hookers of yore - he has a credited victory over Strangler Lewis in fantasy competition. On the old BCCW show “Pyramid’s Peak” (one of the lowest rated shows in company history) Dan Severn *beat* Strangler Lewis by Dragon sleeper submission, even though the loss was never fully accredited or accepted. So with this pick, Lou Thesz is hoping to derail the Strangler Lewis hype train early. All of this would have been covered on commentary, but after Solie’s striking walk out - this match plays to silence. The intensity is palpable, and the excitement genuine. The two warriors host an exciting heavyweight clash that is 100% pure wrestling. Purists and old school mat aficionados are thrilled by the nuances and scientific display - even if loud portions of the audience are prone to chanting “BORING!” at moments in the match. But things pick up at the end when Severn finally gets a successful go-behind and starts hammering Lewis with rolling German suplexes… until the Strangler muscles into defensive position on the mat - stymies Severn with an illegal grip of the tights for leverage - and goes for the Dragon sleeper submission! At the last moment Severn counters out into top control, but Strangler Lewis surprisingly (and deftly) maneuvers Severn into a… Kimura arm lock!?!? Yes, the same hold Severn’s stable mate Masahiko Kimura used to disable Gracie - and Brock Lesnar used to break Triple H’s arm! Severn tries with all his might… before slowly tap… tap… tapping out!! Then he starts tapping out more frantically as Strangler Lewis refuses to relinquish the hold - until he literally *BREAKS DAN SEVERNS ARM* in a brutal, sickening snap!
Winner (by submission): STRANGLER LEWIS
The cavalry of Lou Thesz and others arrives too late - the damage has been done. Thesz leaves with Severn up the ramp, while pausing to have a long distance staredown with his former mentor Strangler Lewis…
just then - BRUNO SAMMARTINO brushes past Lou Thesz and upstages him! Sammartino takes it upon himself to address Strangler for his brutal tactics (both professional, business and in the ring) and vowing to snap his comeback trail himself - like he should have done tonight! That’s right - BRUNO SAMMARTINO IS CHALLENGING STRANGLER LEWIS TO A MATCH @ “AHiH”!! XPW Remixed VP Toots Mondt and Lewis briefly confer before Lewis ACCEPTS! Fade out on Lewis & Mondt looking like wolves who just ate an antelope - Sammartino angrily staring them down - and exchanging looks with the XPW World champion Lou Thesz as well!!
Buy the muthaphuckkin PPV!!
** FADE OUT **
______________________________________________________________
** XPW World Championship **
Lou Thesz © versus Samoa Joe
II
("Iron Man Match")
** Xtreme Elimination Chamber **
(For the KotDM title!!)
feat: SHEIK... SNUFF... SAMI CALLIHAN... POGO the CLOWN... MASADA... and KILO ©
** XPW TV title tourney FINALS **
Alberto Del Rio (2012) versus Jack Brisco (1974)
Strangler Lewis vs Bruno Sammartino
(Xtreme Grudge Match)
** XPW Remixed Tag Team titles **
Dudley Boyz (2009) © versus Road Warriors (1991)
** XPW Remixed Woman's championship **
Awesome Kong vs Sable © vs Trish Stratus
(Triple Threat match)
**PLUS special attraction woman's matches**
Wendi Richter vs Mildred Burke
Alexxis Nevaeh (XPW) vs Melina Perez (ROH)
** XPW Remixed Boston championship **
Dean Ambrose (2015) © versus John Cena (2012)
________________________________________________________
CREDITS:
GORDON SOLIE: Joey Styles "shoot rant" Monday Night Raw
MICHAEL TARVER: Twitter 2011