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Post by MadStepDad on Dec 20, 2011 20:57:22 GMT -5
XPW Remixed presents... THE BEST of XPW TELEVISIONSeason One Hosted by
Matt StrikerMATT STRIKER: There is only one mind from which a concept such as XPW (remixed) can ooze and that is the mind of MSD. MadStepDad and I discussed it and we both knew it would work. He is a luminary when it comes to a lot of things. I have wrestled (no pun intended) with the morality of XPW both from a religious and professional standpoint. We as wrestlers are role models and at times we are asked to do things that compromise our integrity. I can easily dismiss XPW as entertainment and leave it at that but I know the Lord is watching and He sees everything we do. I try very hard to stop and talk to kids and set the right example. If you noticed at the last show I made an announcement, before XPW went on, to remove any children under the age of 13 from ringside. If parents don't accompany their children or monitor what they do, then part of the blame has to be put on them. This IS in fact wrestling and the idea is to do what is good for the sport and good for the business aspect. The bottom line remains, if parents don't want their children exposed to something then take a vested interest in where your kids are going, who they are going with, what they are listening to, and watching, etc, etc.** XPW Remixed was born of controversy, from the ridiculous to the sublime. Look no further than the debut episode of XPW TV when the Gilbert brothers relived one of the most infamous shoot-moments in pro wrestling history. Followed on the timeline spectrum by "The Franchise" Shane Douglas debuting with a shoot rant for the ages. **** CUT ** ** From XPW TV Episode #1 **6) MAIN EVENT Nightmare Freddy versus Boogeyman versus What the ****? THIS is our main event? What kind of second-rate, shoddy organization...? Predictably the crowd shits on this match almost immediately. As soon as "Boogeyman" hit the ring, he rolled "Nightmare Freddy" up in a small-package for the referee to make the three-count. However, the bell had not sounded yet so the referee was confused as to what to do. "Boogeyman" stands up and tells the referee to signal for the bell. As soon as the bell sounds (to still massive boos and garbage being thrown into the ring), Freddy whips Boogey into the ropes and then reverses into a sunset flip. The referee made the three-count, and the match is over in 14 seconds (?) There is a sense of confusion in the ring, when suddenly - the two "monsters" break character and rip off their masks...It's EDDIE & DOUG GILBERT!!!They proceed to go into business for themselves and cut a brutal shoot promo on Gold Dust Trio Inc, XPW (remixed), a "broken down" Sabu and the so-called "CEO of Hardcore" Vic Grimes! Crowd sits in stunned silence at the sudden and unprovoked shoot from the Gilbert brothers! XPW security tries rushing the ring, but the Gilbert brothers fight them off with chairs to retain control. Doug Gilbert continues to rant into the mic, using excessive profanity. SUDDENLY - a familiar theme song cuts through the arena, cutting the Gilberts off and drowning out the mic...Enter the Homicidal, Genocidal, Suicidal SABU!!!Sabu clears the ring with the use of his own steel chair, climaxing with a pulverizing Arabian face buster to a stranded Doug Gilbert. Eddie and Doug are in shock, and attempt to regain their senses outside the ring!____________________________________________ ** From XPW TV Episode #26 **Post match, Shikat and his mouthpiece JACK PFEFER take the ring for another self-aggrandizing heel promo. Pfefer continues on his tirade against XPW Remixed East Coast owners Toots Mondt & Strangler Lewis, while continuing the “Shikat will sell the title to the highest bidder” plot line. But this time, that threat is answered by a wild, unprovoked assault by 3 uninivited men in street clothes who bum rush the set through the audience and take it over! They clear the ring, and with Shikat and Pfefer looking on from the entrance ramp in shock, anger and horror – and the audience applauding and exploding with surprise – make their triumphant XPW Remixed debut!Introducing The NEW Triple Threat!!!Shane Douglas, Eddie Gilbert, Chris Candido & Sunny!!! Conspiracy theories, justified anger, resentment, bitterness and inner rage is on full display here as these 3 men are SICK of being held down, mistreated and played out! Now they're taking over Mash-Up Wrestling, starting right here in XPW Remixed!!
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Post by MadStepDad on Dec 20, 2011 21:45:15 GMT -5
"MASH-UP WRESTLING CROSS-OVERS"** XPW Remixed continued to break down the 4th wall of the Territory Wars with a series of unprecedented CROSS-OVER APPEARANCES, the first of their kind in history. But it also bears mentioning, the companies who worked deals with the XPW Remixed management team (Gold Dust Trio Inc) all went out of business. ECW, TNA, ROH... will the black hole of fantasy wrestling that IS XPW Remixed continue to swallow rival promotions one-by-one??? Only time will tell... **** CUT ** From XPW TV Episode #13 DAMIEN DEMENTO versus PRIMO CARNERA versus Demento and Borden make an awesome entrance duo. Primo Carnera follows to a huge pop. He enters in traditional boxer garb (with robe and towel). He looks massive. Good strongman match between the two, with Demento's berserker rage being met head on by Carnera's colossal size and hammer fists. Primo even gets a chance to show off his hand speed, clubbering Demento with a series of combinations and a crushing body slam. Demento briefly takes over after Lizzy Borden grabs Carnera's ankle on the outside (encouraging the crowd to chant all kinds of vulgar things at her). But Primo makes the comeback and ends the match with a thunderous KO punch that literally bounces Demento's head off the mat like a basketball. Quick 1-2-3, and the "Ambling Alp" Primo Carnera earns a victory in his XPW Remixed debut. Winner: PRIMO CARNERA**************************** From XPW TV Episode #16 7) A GIANT CHALLENGE ANSWEREDPRIMO CARNERA versus JACK SHARKEY(KO @ approx 5:58)But Toots Mondt has still another dream for the giant. He wants to make Primo Carnera the Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of the World. This is what he's been shooting at during all the months he has been touring with Carnera back and forth across the country. The business of being proclaimed the World's Champion Wrestler, as Toots Mondt explained it, is a complicated set-up. There are about half a dozen men, in as many states and subject to as many rules, who claim to be the Champion of the World. Toots wants Carnera to settle it once and for all, by beating all of them. Primo will therefore have to whip Frank Sexton, who some recognize as the champion. He will have to beat Louie Thesz, the St. Louis boy who holds the National Wrestling Association title. He will also have to pin to the mat such heavies as Stone Cold Steve Austin of WWF, Whipper Watson of Toronto, Jim Londos, Orville Brown, Ultimate Warrior of the AWA, and Roughie Silverstein, former Big Ten Champion from Illinois. "It is my opinion that Primo can beat every one of these men," Toots said, with a completely straight face. "If the officials are fair and honest, Primo will win all these matches. I mean to see that they are honest," Toots concluded, "because I intend that Primo Carnera shall be the next Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of the World."
If this happens, Carnera will be the only man in sport history who has held both titles, the championship of the world in boxing and wrestling. How much or how little the grappling title means, it is still quite a prospect for the once hopeless and crippled, bruised and life-battered giant who hobbled up a gangplank in 1936 headed for oblivion. Not even those idealistic weavers of words who created ancient tales designed solely to point out a moral could improve the true-life ending of this story. For what has happened to the ruthless, shameless, cruel, and greedy handful of men who tricked and humiliated and bled the giant? Almost to a man, life has repaid them. Three of them are now penniless, two are in ill health, and one frequents the grimy alleys of crime, fearful for his life. A few months ago, in a large Eastern city, one of them provided us with a thing that is rare in this modern world, a moment of poetic justice. One of these men who had held the giant in bondage for so many years, one of the elite of the once high-riding mob, approached Primo Carnera after a wrestling match and, in our own graceless, work-a-day language, he put the bite on him.
"He looked very bad," Primo said, "but I could not find it in myself to give him money. Instead, I bought him a meal." Suddenly - they are cut off and interrupted by a patronizing voice...Reintroducing THE GRAND WIZARD!!! Looks of surprise from the audience, while Carnera and Mondt retain their poker face mid-ring. MSD the in-ring MC for the segment watches on in astonishment. On commentary Gordon and Solie surmise on TGW's return, and wonder why it seemed like such a low priority to Gold Dust Trio Inc. TGW in the ring to Mondt... blames him of criminal distortion! Alleges that Mondt and Strangler didn't raise the alarm after that maniac Pogo the Clown kidnapped TGW at "A Cold Day In Hell" because his partners want him OUT of the XPW governing body! Well guess what? The Grand Wizard isn't going out that easy. References XPW's recent foray onto the East Coast, and alleges some kind of illegal shenanigans that may have driven Gold Dust Trio Inc off the East Coast in the first place. Oh my, the Gold Dust Trio Inc is fracturing right before our eyes! TGW says Mondt wants to come out here and act like his big free agent signing Primo Carnera is going to change the game. That the Ambling Alp is the greatest fighter in fantasy wrestling, and the "one true giant" in professional wrestling. Well you're wrong! And if you want a war, you got a war! The Grand Wizard alone has uncovered the one TRUE giant of professional wrestling! Introducing to XPW Remixed...THE BIG SHOW!!!! MSD: B-B-BIG SHOW!?!?! What are YOU doing here??? R U SERIOUS???BIG SHOW: I think I was really serious until I got punched in the face. You know, the boxing thing was something I was interested in doing to change my lifestyle and get into shape and really improve my health. I met some friends and the idea was kicked around and talked about, and I trained quite hard for it. I went through the same training that any boxer does between training camps in getting ready for fights. And then, you know, I couldn’t get fights, couldn’t schedule fights. THE GRAND WIZARD: Who's gonna want a fight with a 7ft 500 lb giant???BIG SHOW: I mean, I’m not going to step in the ring and compete against Lennox Lews right off the bat. I need to get experience against guys with the same experience level I had, and those guys didn’t want anything to do with me because I’d kill them. I was sparring with Oliver McCall, who is a former heavyweight champion. It takes a lot of courage to step over that rope and go in there basically knowing the other guy is going to be hitting you in the face as hard as he can and you have to hit him as hard as you can. It was a unique, eye-opening, great experience because I left all my stature, all my credibility as The Big Show, in the locker room and I came out there as a guy learning how to box and I had to earn my respect from the guys in the boxing gym, and I think I did. MSD: But what brings you here to XPW Remixed tonight???
BIG SHOW: I just realized that boxing, to be competitive, I have to defeat the best.... and Primo Carnera - you're the best. It’s something that I wish I could have started as a young man, like 10 or 11 years old. If I could have foretold the future and found out that I was going to be this size and have the hand speed that I have and the athletic ability and have been able to do boxing as a young man, I think I could have changed the world of heavyweight boxing forever. And at "Baptized in Blood", I plan on changing the face of fantasy wrestling forever when I show you who has the greatest KO punch in history!!! HHHUUUUUGGGGE stare down between the two GIANT men (although Big Show seems to have quite a few inches on Primo). TGW watches on, smug in his content that he ruined another segment. Mondt looks on as Primo and Big Show size each other up like he's UFC President Dana White in the middle of a weigh-in. Are those dollar-signs in his eyes? Primo Carnera versus Big Show - in a shoot boxing match - only at "Baptized in Blood"!!!**************************** From XPW TV Episode #17 SUDDENLY – there is a flurry of activity! A small riot has broken loose, front-and-center camera side. With XPW security scrambling and fans starting to throw elbows, 3 men suddenly break from the madness and enter the ring. The three men are dressed in blue gang colors and proceed to wipe the mat with the two helpless jobbers! But those aren’t just ANY blue gang bangers! That’s Blue Meanie, Stevie Richards and Hollywood Nova… the BLUE WORLD ORDER!!! What are THEY doing here in XPW Remixed???STEVIE RICHARDS: So this is the great XPW Remixed??? I remember when XPW tried to steal ECW’s spotlight during one of our West Coast PPVs!!! It was called the last stand, and a lot of people were thinking it was the end of something, and it might have been the end of something for some people… but I'm just getting started!!!BLUE MEANIE: Are we really doing this?" *Laughs* "Is it really XPW Remixed and the BWO's still here but the NWO's nowhere to be found? So it was good fun that the parody outlasted the thing that was being parodied. I love Stevie Richards as a friend and a brother and Nova, I love him to death too, those guys were a part of my history and we were part of one of the most popular factions in ECW. It ’s awesome to be back with your friends! Tee hee hee!!!STEVIE RICHARDS: There's a guy up north who says he's straight edge… like every OTHER guy in the business is a drug addict or a drunk. Well, he’s younger than me, and I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I don't smoke. As a matter of fact, as you caught me here, I was about to go out and do my afternoon p90x workout! [pounds the defenseless jobbers out on the mat again] I believe living positively, living strongly and most importantly, God gave me this body. God gave me everything, and you make the most out of it. You don't destroy that. I'm destroying enough by wrestling. And at “Liberty of Death”… the BWO will destroy XPW Remixed once and for all!!! We’re going to finish what the government couldn’t! Death to XPW Remixed!!!** ABRUPT CUT TO COMMERCIAL ** **************************** From XPW TV Episode #20 MAIN EVENTTHE MIZ (2011) versus "SUPERSTAR" BILL DUNDEE (1978)(Title Unification Match) versus The Australian born Bill Dundee made quite a name for himself in pro wrestling circles, most notably – right HERE – in Memphis TN!!! Tonight, wearing a stylish Ascot hat, letterman jacket and brandishing his title belt proudly, the smiling local fan favorite glad-hands with the audience on the way to ringside. The MIZ gets the big-time main event entrance (with pre-taped footage of a helicopter landing). His “Rockstar Reality TV World Tour” continues tonight in Memphis as MIZ puts up his cherished XPW Television Championship on the line against Bill Dundee’s Southern Heavyweight Championship! With practiced Hollywood flair, Miz does the slow triumphant stroll to the ring like he’s fresh off the red carpet. The gleaming XPW Remixed TV championship glistens in his possession. MIZ actually interrupts the ring announcer by ripping the mic out of his hands, and cutting a brief promo on his opponent for the evening Bill Dundee. Miz disses Dundee’s fashion sense, size and Australian accent. But by the time he mentions Memphis in a derogatory fashion, the crowd heat is off the charts, and Bill Dundee reacts with a quick sucker-punch to Miz’s jaw – shutting him up once and for all! Big pop from the crowd for that, and Dundee begins ripping off his jacket and preparing for action – while referees hold him back and Miz scampers back to his feet, more embarrassed than anything. He fixes the crazy eye on Dundee from across the ring, while the ring announcer finally makes the Big-Time main event intro. By the time the bell rings and the two men begin to circle, all eyes are riveted upon them. Steady start, with each man exchanging takedowns, counters and reversals. Dundee finally gets the better of an exchange on the mat, and slaps the Miz on the back of his head like one might a slap a petulant child! Miz is outraged! Crowd responds enthusiastically! Good, old school match with Miz outsizing Dundee, but falling prey to the Southern Heavyweight champion’s veteran cunning. He embarrasses Miz in a few exchanges, until the infuriated XPW TV champion instigates a wild brawl that overwhelms Dundee. Miz in control and his cocky, arrogant mannerisms (and a strut straight out of the original “Nature Boy’s” playbook) draw massive crowd heat. In the end, Miz manipulates his body between the ref and Dundee – allowing Miz to STRIKE with an unseen mule kick to the Southern Heavyweight champion! Ooooo low blow! That was the advantage Miz needed, and after a brief flurry of maneuvers, reverses a spinning abdominal stretch attempt by Dundee into the Skull-Crushing finale! 1-2-3, Miz wins clean! Winner (and STILL XPW Television Champion): THE MIZ** CUT ** **************************** From XPW TV Episode #21 "ROCKSTAR" KAOS (w/ Missy Hyatt)!!! The "Rockstar" and his gal address Grimes and the Cartel from the relative safety of the entrance ramp. KAOS cuts an intense promo putting himself over for his dedication and sacrifice to this sport. He's literally sweat, bled and teared for his chance to prove himself. And at "Damage Inc" - when he takes on Vic Grimes for the King of the Death Match championship - he will prove himself all over again and all over Vic Grimes ugly FACE! Of course Vic Grimes will NOT stand for that type of slander, and prepares to send his boyz Mondo & Rotten out there to eat Kaos and rape his girl. But not so fast! Missy Hyatt actually as an East Coast liaison for her native West Coaster boyfriend. A good friend from way back who just happened to be passing through town tonight... Ladies and gentleman, Introducing to the set of XPW Remixed... "The American Dream" DUSTY RHODES (!!??!!??)He carries with him a regional championship belt, indecipherable from afar. The standing ovation to his surprise appearance is thunderous. DUSTY RHODES: WHOOO! XPW Remixed, baybee!!! I come from a little place some of you may have heard of...(big pop from the East Coast crowd) It's run by Polland and the trainers — and guys like that. Samoa Joe's been in my ass all week. We have guests and teachers and creative people there all the time. Thursday nights — we run every Thursday night, it's TV: Three one-hour shows. Then, they run Friday nights and Saturday nights, so it's kind of like a small little territory, so that's good. The kids are being able to get out in public and learn their trade. Even if there's 30 people there, it doesn't matter. You can do it in the ring and practice all day long, but if you're not in front of people, like the old days, that's where we learned. We learned it in the car, talking about it. Vic Grimes... you and your boys are a whole lotta talk!!!Dusty Rhodes puts over Kaos as a credible threat to Grimes at "Damage Inc", big ups Bruno Sammartino, and disses "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers - daring him to bring his belt to the East Coast and show it to Dusty's face. He goes on to defend his own hardcore credentials and takes credit for the entire "Slaughtahouse Stampede" concept! (a match type he says was stolen by the plagiaristic TGW & Jack Pfefer) And to prove his point... "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes - with the blessing of Strangler Lewis & Toots Mondt - is officially announcing his entry into the "Slaughtahouse Stampede" match!!! The only way ANY organization in the Territory Wars can claim a Bunk House battle royal is by including it's founder and undefeated 4x Stampede winner DUSTY RHODES!!! HUGE pop for this unexpected announcement! Even Solie & Striker are marking out on commentary! **************************** From XPW TV Episode #22DUSTY RHODES & ROCKSTAR KAOS (w/ Missy Hyatt)
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IAN ROTTEN & "SICK" NICK MONDO versus Match starts with a profane Ian Rotten rant that is answered on the mic by DUSTY RHODES!!! Awesome dueling mic bit between the two promo men (from different eras and scenes, but very similar in style). This is Dusty Rhodes 1988 - King of the World, reigning Stampede winner and Territory Wars regional champion! Mister Flamboyant himself has the flashy "Rockstar" Joey KAOS and the beautiful Missy Hyatt by his side as they lambaste the Cannibal Cartel (and it's capo Vic Grimes). Dusty Rhodes is about to open up a Texas-sized can of whoop ass on the Cartel and show them how a Slaughtahouse Stampede match really feels!!! Rhodes and KAOS race to the ring where they meet Rotten and Mondo in the aisle and start brawling! The fight is on! Match exhibits the daring, high-flying, Devil-may-Care attitudes of Rockstar KAOS and "Sick" Nick Mondo - while mixing in the hardcore, brute physicality of Rhodes & Rotten. Big pop from the series of Bionic Elbows Rhodes lays into Rotten's head, splitting him open. Top Rope KAoSTROPHE from the Rockstar onto Rotten earns the pin for his team! After winning the battle - Rhodes gets to give a closing sermon on the mic. Rockstar KAOS will prevail at "Damage Inc"! Dusty Rhodes says he will BEAT Samoa Joe at "ROH presents Rising Above", WIN the Slaughtahouse Stampede match at "Damage Inc", and prove to the WORLD (if you weeeel), that the "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes is the REAL one true champion of the Territory Wars universe!!!! They have a scene-stealing staredown with KotDM champion "Vicious" Vic Grimes who is OUTRAGED at their boasts and the fact they laid out two of his best goons!!! Winners: KAOS & RHODES**************************** From XPW TV Episode #22 THE COMMISSION'S CHAMPIONSHIP PRESS CONFERENCE & CONTRACT SIGNING“The Commission” makes its entrance – led by The Grand Wizard and Jack Pfefer. Escorting them to the ring is the shimmering Lizzy Borden (radiant in her seductive evil) and the cauliflower-eyed tough guy Dick Shikat. Much pomp and circumstance is made of their entrance into the ring – transformed into a “business office” ready for a contract signing. The Grand Wizard on the mic first (XPW Remixed is miiiinnneee!!! I’m bringing it to the East coast!!!) – Jack Pfefer is on last (the reigning and recognized XPW Remixed champion “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers will be defending his title on the East Coast ONLY at “Damage Inc”! live from Camden NJ). Introducing now… ladies and gentleman… the reigning… undisputed… trend setting… one and only… XPW REMIXED champion…. ”NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS!!!BOOM! There he is, in all his effervescent, scintillating HD glory! “The Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers! Clad in priceless suit and tie, with gleaming championship belt by his side! He’s escorted to the ring by apprentice Alex Riley (still smarting and embarrassed from the stretching he suffered at the hands of Lou Thesz in the previous segment) and about a ½ dozen beautiful Cosmo models. The MAN! The instrumental for “Diamonds from Sierra Leone” plays in the background as the champ makes his entrance. He and Riley graciously shake the hands of Pfefer and TGW, before Rogers takes his seat at the negotiating table (flanked by a standing Alex Riley – very Goodfella-ish). Rogers rests his XPW Remixed championship belt on the table before him. TGW back on the mic again – glowing praise of “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers that is just so preposterous and self-aggrandizing you can’t help but boo along in unison with the rest of the crowd. Rogers smirks along with the serenade, while chewing on the tip of a cigar. Big hype for “Damage Inc” – back home EAST in Camden NJ. Hometown of the “Nature Boy” himself. The East con man TGW & Jack Pfefer themselves are working in joint unison with a handful of other regional East Coast promoters. Banding together in a so-called “Commission” in which one true world champion can be determined. It is through this union the following MAIN EVENT match has been signed at “Damage Inc”… ”NATURE BOY” BUDDY ROGERS (1963) defending his XPW Remixed championship against… ”THE MODERN DAY WARRIOR” KERRY VON ERICH (1984)!!!! !?!?! BIIIIIIG Texas-sized pop for the Yellow Rose-wearing KERRY VON ERICH!!! He enters, head down beneath his warm-up coat, waving to the crowd. His anonymous corner men fill in behind him as he makes his way through a crowded entrance ramp, overflowing with high-fives and teenage kisses. Yessir it’s really him! Kerry Von Erich is in XPW Remixed to sign on the dotted line and accept a championship match against Buddy Rogers at “Damage Inc”!!! OH MY only XPW REMIXED can bring this brand of cross promotional action to the Territory Wars! Breaking the 4th Wall DOOOWWWWNNN!!!!
They sit opposite each other, Pfefer recites the match breakdowns (regular title match, draw goes to winner, DQ and Count-Out rules apply etc), Rogers and Von Erich sign the contract, rise, stare down and pose for the cameras, shake hands (Rogers with a smirk, Von Erich with grim reverence). TGW and Jack Pfefer smile broadly and crow like wise business men who just inked a lucrative million-dollar deal. Everybody poses for pictures (really vain, and self-glorifying – and is that ROH frontman Polland in there too?), they unfurl the posters for “Damage Inc” – and throw it to a Hollywood glitz/glam piece on the video wall for the PPV event. “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers versus Kerry Von Erich for the XPW Remixed championship! Only at “DAMAGE INC”!!! ** CUT ** **************************** From XPW TV Episode #24 Post match, Swagger is aghast at the loss - (Real) KoW are posing and preening before the cheering audience - and Alex Riley is left writing in pain on the mat! Jack Swagger grabs the mic to unleash a red-faced rant... but suddenly - it's answered by..."Natural Born Killaz" (Dr Dre & Ice Cube!!!) Enter NEW JACK & POGO the CLOWN!!! West Coast Rydas!!! The hardcore gangbangers rush the ring with their twin trash barrel fulls of weapons and dismantle Alex Riley & Jack Swagger piece by piece! Laptop! Crutch! Kendo stick! Finally New Jack and Pogo strip the Dynasty of their dignity and their jewels. Atop the entrance ramp, a big crowd-pleasing spectacle is made of Pogo the Clown SMASHING a Diamond Dynasty Rolex watch with a hammer! Riley and Swagger are left lying in the ring, while New Jack poses and flaunts the other stolen Diamond Dynasty specialized Rolex! Oh my, the West Coast makes their dissent known once more!!!With New Jack & Pogo celebrating on the entrance ramp - Swagger and Alex Riley down in the ring - they are joined by none other than the King of the muthaphuckkin West Coast, baybee!!! Big SNOOP DOGG!!! Snoop on the mic, and he is greeted by an enthusiastic LA crowd. He big ups the West Coast, gives props to New Jack & Pogo, and reiterates the entire State of California's hatred for "The Commission" and Diamond Dynasty! SNOOP DOGG: I'm in the club with the snub, gettin love, With 20 thousand Crips and 20 thousand Bloods/ And we don't give a fuck about none of ya'll, And when you hit the city, you better holla at the Big Dogg/ (holds up the Diamond Dynasty Rolex) I done seen n****z hit LA and get dey chain snatched, Then they call me up, beggin' me to get dey chain back...Crowd pops big with that taunt! Swagger and Riley are picking themselves up off the mat with disgusted looks upon their faces. Just then... "AWEEEESOOOMMMEEE!!!!"...Enter Reigning XPW Television Champion THE MIZ!!! The Miz enters, representing Diamond Dynasty to the fullest. Thousand-dollar suit coat, black sweater shirt, expensive shoes, gleaming jewelry and glittering championship belt! With ego, confidence and billion-dollar bravado the Miz addresses Snoop Dogg to his face! It's an epic entertainment showdown on the grandest stage in Hollywood! In the audience and on press row, TMZ reporters await the Miz's every word. Miz reminds Snoop Dogg (and the world watching on) that he is the GREATEST XPW TV champion in history! In all of Television history! He is the champion of all TV and media! The most watched champion in fantasy wrestling history! Miz goes on to contend he is known bigger and on a more global stage than even the Icon Snoop Dogg!!! MIZ: I did interviews for WWE.com, called "Superstar to Superstar", where I would interview people from movies. I interviewed people from the Dark Knight-- Maggie Gylenhall, Gary Oldman, Christopher Nolan, and of course Christian Bale. I asked Maggie Gylenhall,"Who would win in a fight: The Miz action figure or the Christian Bale Dark Knight action figure?" She replied,"You have an action figure? That is so cute." "No Maggie, it's not cute! It's manly. It's rugged!" I ended up having to give her my action figure. She took it and left the Dark Knight action figure. So, I imagine I win. Every time. (Laughs)Snoop just rolls his eyes and disrespects the champ by lighting a large Vanilla Dutch of sour diesel and blowing a cloud of smoke in the Miz's face! Miz's expression changes from cocky and tongue-in-cheek, to downright hostile. With the crazy mean eyes fastened directly upon Snoop, Miz starts talking about getting the LAW involved in that little Rolex-jacking stunt the West Coast Rydas just pulled! Oh boo! And everybody knows New Jack's got a few priors, how would it feel to head back home to the big house instead of rocking the XPW Remixed stage??? Snoop Dogg don't like what he's hearing...SNOOP DOGG: What I look like the muthaphuckkin Police? It's certain rules you got to follow, when you in these streets, Especially when it comes to this Cali shit, And I ain't talkin' bout hangin' in the valley Bitch, Gang bang n****z all up in the alley Crip, On some real talk n***a, we the real West-coast... ___________________________________________________________________________________ "MOST XTREME MOMENTS in XPW TV HISTORY"XPW Remixed has been called a bastard, "red-headed stepchild", erratic and dangerous. Constantly pushing the envelope on the sports entertainment genre has found XPW Remixed on the wrong end of the legal spectrum more than once. Here is this easter egg collection of bonus footage, most of which will never see air again! **From XPW TV Episode #5** Strange, shadowy Messiah promo that takes place in some dark confessional booth somewhere. He prays for guidance and the strength to smite his enemies. ** 2) THE MESSIAH versus HAKUSHI versus Great TV match between these two high-flyers, with the added XPW-crunch of wooden tables and steel chairs sprinkled throughout. After a high-wire seesaw battle between the two, the purple trench coat-clad Doink Rebourne once again makes his presence felt with a vicious sneak attack on Messiah that culminates in a homeroom swing with his spiked baseball bat - leaving a bloody Messiah easy pickings for Hakushi's springboard moonsault. Winner (by pin fall): HAKUSHI (This entertaining match (marred by the unfortunate ending) segues immediately into the next segment, featuring the eerie and disturbed Heath Ledger as "Joker"-inspired Doink Rebourne "confessing" to the unconscious, blood soaked Messiah). DOINK REBOURNE: I can remember driving down the road at the height of my career making $10,000 a week, and I'm driving on the road and I was miserable. In all my career, I wanted to get to a certain point, and there I was -- I had it. Why wasn't I happy? I couldn't figure it out, and nobody could have told me... I guess I had to go through what I went through to become the type of person that I want to be. I tried to do it myself, Messiah!!!! I tried to keep my problems a secret... which is kind of impossible to do when you've got drug problems. I had a very bad cocaine problem and then when Vince fired me at the end of '93, I really went off the deep end for about a year and a half. That's when I really tried to run from it. It kept coming back to me, it kept coming back to me. But I tried to seek help just myself, try to do it myself, but I just couldn't do it. Finally I just decided I wanted help. I was tired of repeating the same mistakes. I guess I would have some success then I would sabotage myself. (cradles this spiked baseball bat, now slathered with the blood of Messiah) But now I've met you Messiah, and you hear my prayers. That helps me a lot because if I tell somebody my story, that there is life -- learn how to live your life. I didn't know how to live. I had to live like every day was a party and what can I do for me? What I learned, and it's really pretty simple and ironic, the only way that I can be happy is to give of myself. If I feel myself starting to be unhappy, then I'm aware now that it's because I'm thinking selfish thoughts... (Doink Rebourne viciously wraps the Messiah up in the ring ropes, effectively "crucifying" him in the blood soaked XPW ring. Doink Rebourne rips the black t-shirt from Messiah's body and prepares to whip him with the spiked bat!) One of the biggest things was dealing with all the loss that I had, that I created for myself. That was one of the biggest obstacles that I had to do once I got clean, was to put this stuff behind me. I can't dwell on things that I've lost, but what I can do is create a future and that's what I'm doing now...In a brutal and disturbing sequence, Doink Rebourne lashes into Messiah's bare back with the bat - whipping him unmercifully and demanding he "take my sins! TAKE MY SINS!!!" as Doink Rebourne screams over and over again. By the time XPW security converges on the ring, Doink Rebourne disappears through the audience and the Messiah is left a brutalized, bloody mess on the dirty XPW arena floor. “The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.” **************************** From XPW TV Episode #10 5) THE BOURNE CONSPIRACY ** Backstage, in the shadowy confines of some underground boiler room, a demented Matt Bourne (aka "Doink Rebourne") has taken XPW cameras hostage, forcing them to televise his antics. With him, he reveals a scrawny, ratty haired boy covered with crimson gore and tied half-beaten to death to a chair. A bloody, tattered "Messiah: Holy FN Shit" T-Shirt covers his chest. You recognize the ravaged young man as "TJ", one of the preliminary wrestlers ** "Batman" = The MESSIAH, "Gotham" = XPW**************************** From XPW TV Episode #9 MAIN EVENT
ATSUSHI ONITA versus THE SHEIK (w/ The Grand Wizard)(Hell Fire Death Match) versus Winner: THE SHEIK**************************** From XPW TV Episode #27 MAIN EVENT”SICK” NICK MONDO (2001) w/ Ian Rotten versus BRUNO SAMMARTINO (1975) w/ versus Ill main event entrances from both men, with the Bruce Buffer meets Jeremy Borash-styled ring intro provided by MSD. Commercial break before the bell rings. On commentary, Solie & Striker put over “Sick” Nick Mondo as the most underrated talent in XPW Remixed today. Solie in particular believes Mondo’s alliance with the Cannibal Cartel is hindering him as a premier performer. His innovative moves, thrilling style and distinct appearance are definite plusses for him. Bruno Sammartino on the other hand, is just a Bear. His size, strength and sheer wrestling popularity cannot be matched. He is Hulk Hogan 1985/ Stone Cold 1998/ and Road Warriors 1988 in the reaction he generates from every audience he graces. Strange in some ways, considering the typical or target XPW Remixed audience. But for some reason his mix of values, old school beliefs and sheer wrestling talent has endeared himself to the fans like no other performer before him. Bruno is bullish in his ways, overpowering and out-muscling Mondo all around the ring. But where Nick Mondo shines is in his sick assortment of futuristic, high-flying assault maneuvers. He definitely out-quicks Sammartino by a large margin. Not to mention the heat-machine (vacuum?) standing at ringside in Mondo’s corner, infuriating the audience further – Ian Rotten. Just his presence alone adds another layer of human emotion in the match. Very exciting battle with Sammartino looking strong, but “Sick” Nick Mondo can pull out the upset at any time. Striker references “Sick” Nick Mondo’s victory over Terry Funk for example (see XPW TV Episode #11). Cue ref bump at end for over-booked shenanigans. Ian Rotten blatantly gets involved in the match, but Bruno STILL overwhelms him. So with Mondo on the attack again, Rotten comes back with a steel chair and takes it to Bruno. Mondo and Rotten pummel Bruno. Cut backstage where Nick Gage (with bandanna over his face) watches the beat down on a monitor with the XPW Remixed tag champions BLKOut and Annie Social behind him. They are itching to get involved, but Gage waves them OFF. No, this is Bruno all alone…Back in the ring the beating continues unabated. Bruno is now crucified in the ring ropes, helpless. In a truly terrifying moment, Ian Rotten returns to the ring with a MUTHAPHUCKKING WEEDWHACKER and revves the engine menacingly, before handing it off to Mondo. Their intent for the weapon is crystal clear, as Sammartino’s abdomen region is clearly exposed! Kick kick kick from the Italian Strongman!!!! With the crowd driving him on – Bruno hulks up and takes it to Mondo & Rotten, the weed whacker clattering harmlessly to the canvas! Sammartino’s superhuman comeback would put John Cena 2011 and Hulk Hogan 1988 to shame! Ian Rotten is tossed over the top rope! Bruno Sammartino CATCHES Nick Mondo in mid-move (the M. Bison double-foot stomp from the top rope) and twists the skinny indy wrestler over his broad shoulder! Sammartino locks in his over-the-shoulder backbreaker and wrenches the hold unmercifully! With the referee coming to, Nick Mondo finally submits! Bruno has done it again!!! Winner (by submission): BRUNO SAMMARTINO!!! Postmatch, Bruno gets his celebratory moment before powdering out and leaving the ring, where Mondo and Rotten slowly gather their senses. Uh Oh… begin the ominous theme of the Cannibal Cartel, and out comes Vic Grimes (with the Headhunterz behind him). The KotDM champion (with still-bloody bandages covering his Death match wounds from earlier) does NOT look happy. Like the march of the Executioner, Mondo and Rotten look on in fear while Rotten tries to distance himself from Mondo as much as possible. Sure enough, Vic Grimes takes the house mic and verbally rips into Mondo for his failure. He’s a disgrace, a fiend, and now… another example. Mondo tries to flee but it’s too late. The Headhunterz snatch him up and smash him into pudding. “Sick” Nick Mondo is then strung up – barely conscious – in the ring ropes, just as Bruno had been moments before. In what is quite possibly THE MOST HORRIBLE THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN PRO WRESTLING , Vic Grimes revs up the weed whacker and RUNS IT ACROSS MONDO’s EXPOSED RIB CAGE! Flesh and blood rip and splatter as Mondo cries out in pain! Grimes’ face is speckled with the blood, and ichor drips from the weed whacker blade! The audience has legitimately fallen silent. Even Ian Rotten appears shocked at the vicious assault! With Mondo writhing in pain on the mat, Grimes holds the weed whacker and his KotDM belt aloft. The Headhunterz stomp, attack and generally keep at bay any medical personnel or security officers that try to come to Mondo’s aid. Solie & Striker haven’t spoken since the postmatch assault began, and the shows signs off in silence – with a fade out on the blood-sprayed Grimes’ sick grinning face, and Mondo layed out ont the mat as the final visual…"Sick" Nick Mondo - another casualty of the self-consuming Cannibal Cartel crusade of hate. ** CUT ** **************************** From XPW TV Episode #30 JESSICA DARLIN REVEALS ALLMSD: Alot of people in the Territory Wars may not be familiar with your - *ahem* - "work". How would you describe yourself to them?JESSICA DARLIN: I was outgoing. Pretty much the little party girl. I was defiantly the town nympho, but I stayed out of trouble and went to an expensive private school. Even so, I had a wild streak. I lost my cherry when I was sixteen. I used to fuck everyday at every chance I could! MSD: Now you're out here in LA wilding out in XPW Remixed. What would your mother say???JESSICA DARLIN: My family thinks I'm a waitress. Sami Callihan's dad thinks I'm a nude magazine model but not a porn star. He tells his dad about him directing soon, but he just wouldn't understand about hardcore for me. My parents would totally disown me if they found out I was making porn videos, but that's the chance I live with. I knew what I was getting into! MSD: Is it worth the risk?JESSICA DARLIN: Fuck yeah it is. MSD: What brought you here to XPW Remixed?JESSICA DARLIN: I was a dancer back in Miami. I did a lot of feature dancing in the south Florida area where MadMan Pondo discovered me, but it wasn't enough. I wanted the limelight! I wanted the fame, and I NEEDED the sex! I need sex more than my pussy and ass can take! MSD: Then you moved from Madman Pondo to the Switchblade Conspiracy. How was the transition?JESSICA DARLIN: Hell yeah. They knew I was on the way out and they tried something that really pissed me off. They asked me if I'd like to do a gang bang, knowing damn well that they could get the gang bang and send me on my way. My days with Pondo are over but my contract days aren't. My plans have changed due to my offer from Extreme Associates. I just signed a one year deal with Extreme and my worries are over. The hostile takeover has one more weapon and her name is Jessica Darlin! MSD: Now your "services" are getting tossed up again at "RAPTURE", when your current team Switchblade Conspiracy tangles with the (REAL) Kings of Wrestling, Austin Idol & Phil "Gunner" Shatter. What are your thoughts of the (Real) KoW, especially if you become their trophy?JESSICA DARLIN: I'd like people to know that I do the job I do not for the money but more for the experience. You got to live and breath the industry to know how good or bad it can be. Otherwise you can't understand the ups and downs. Please support the people who bring fantasy into your homes!! They're not perfect but they're damn close. I love all my fans, and thanks for the support! Just remember the hostile takeover has begun. Extreme Associates! ** CUT **
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Post by MadStepDad on Dec 21, 2011 8:41:14 GMT -5
** BONUS DISC ** [/size][/color] From XPW TV Episode #28 [/size][/color] "Lil Chief" was my best friend who passed away in December of 09 from a heroin overdose. I dug the above video out in a tribute, and it's weird to think that roughly 16 years after we shot that footage all 3 of the participants (both wrestlers and the referee) would be dead. Car accident, heroin overdose and murder. RIP to all of them. [glow=red,2,300]****************************[/glow] From XPW TV Episode #28 [/size][/color] ** “Halloween in Hell” DARK MATCH **[/size][/color] ALEXXIS NEVAEH © (2008) versus CHEERLEADER MELISSA (2011)(XPW Remixed Woman’s Championship)[/size][/color] versus Alexxis retains her championship over Cheerleader Melissa with a tornado DDT @ 3:45. Exciting match, and the official intro of Cheerleader Melissa. This is not only her debut match in XPW Remixed, but her first appearance in the Territory Wars. She is advertised as the reigning “Shimmer” woman’s champion (circa October 2011), and on behalf of Lizzy Borden – who is hoping to bolster her woman’s division in XPW Remixed – has made this a “title unification” bout. Good showing from Cheerleader Melissa, who displays a hard-hitting and creative move-set that cannot be found in traditional wrestling organizations. But Alexxis Neveah – with her Olympia level coaching by “The Solid Man” William Muldoon – is better tonight, and helps her team rebound in the victory column. Alexxis celebrates her win in appropriate fashion, and as is standard-procedure for most Olympia matches, offers the handshake of mutual respect to Cheerleader Melissa post match. She accepts and the crowd cheers both women. Winner (and STILL XPW Remixed Woman’s Champion): ALEXXIS NEVEAH[glow=red,2,300]************************[/glow] From XPW TV Episode #30 [/size][/color] "Sammartino Invitational" FINALS[/size][/color] NICK FN GAGE versus MONDO KLEEN (w/ Tony Rumble)[/size][/color] versus Bruno Sammartino enters first for commentary. He's not partial to who will challenge him at "Rapture", but certainly hopes Ezekiel Jackson beats Buddy Rogers. Because he knows Jackson is a man and will finally step up to face Bruno and unify these fractured titles once and for all! Kleen & Rumble are booed - Gage loudly cheered. Good, stiff Main Even match that is marred by a ref bump. Tony Rumble's new henchmen "The Angel" makes his big shambling run-in to take out Gage, but this time BRUNO SAMMARTINO is there to strike! The champ takes it to Angel - takes it to Tony Rumble - and in the end, Nick Gage buries Mondo Kleen with a brainbuster!!! Winner: NICK GAGEThe Angel was thwarted by Bruno!!!Nick Gage wins the Sammartino Invitational! He's going to RAPTURE! Tense face off between Bruno and Gage to end the show, before they go nose-to-nose jawing the entire time! Refs and officials need to pry them apart! "RAPTURE" coming soon!!![/color] ** FADE OUT ** [glow=red,2,300]**********************[/glow] From XPW TV Episode #31 [/size][/color] "SICK" NICK MONDO versus IAN ROTTEN("Last Rites" Death Match)[/size][/color] versus We return with a disturbing backyard, homemade video of "Sick" Nick Mondo performing a mock eulogy for the Cannibal Cartel. In-arena, the houselights have been dramatically darkened as torches illuminate the entrance ramp and a black COFFIN has been rolled to ringside. It has been desecrated, or "tagged" with the various names and dates of Cannibal Cartel victims (including names like Trent Acid, Lil Chief, David Von Erich & JC Bailey (see "Halloween in Hell"). "Sick" Nick Mondo gets his now babyface-ovation from the appreciative audience. Yet he remains somber and vigilant - a heaviness weighing upon him. He is about to unleash his Dark Passenger (see Showtime series "DEXTER") upon Ian Rotten. He calls out Rotten on the mic. Again and again, but Rotten doesn't appear to be showing. AGAIN. He already no-showed the PPV, and it looks like he would rather lose his job and a payday over paying the Piper for his sins. But just as the crowd is booing, Mondo has tossed the mic, and we're preparing for a video cut... Ian Rotten appears with a revving CHAINSAW!!! He looks deranged, haggard, unshaved and mad (with fear?) as he ATTACKS the coffin with the chainsaw! In a loud and violent display he tries chopping that shit up with the chainsaw, only to have Mondo bravely (perhaps foolishly) soar OVER the rope and onto Rotten with a suicide plancha! The chainsaw clatters to the ground and the brawl is ON! The coffin is damaged, but not destroyed and after whipping each other into it a few times - the truth becomes clear...[/color] The coffin lid pops open and you can see it lined with all kinds of evil, flesh-cutting weaponry (glass, barbed wire, used medical syringes, thumbtacks). But most viciously - the under hood of the coffin lid is lined with thick metal SPIKES - designed to IMPALE a man when the lid is shut! Medieval torture at his finest. Ian Rotten is scared... but Nick Mondo seems resigned to his fate. And it is that Devil-may-care attitude that ultimately propels Mondo to his emotional victory tonight. They brawl, bash and bleed all over the arena - close out with a few coffin teases - before Ian Rotten takes the explosive plunge off the apron into the coffin! In a symbolic, and visually-stunning finale - Nick Mondo closes the coffin lid on a terrified, and repenting Ian Rotten who is suddenly forced to face his own mortality! But not only does Nick Mondo SLAM the coffin lid shut... he scales the top turnbuckle and unleashes an M.Bison DOUBLE FOOT STOMP THROUGH THE COFFIN LID!!! It caves in under the impact, driving the remaining steel spikes right through whatever meaty organ was beneath them!!!! Nick Mondo lays his old, bloodstained "Cannibal Cartel" shirt upon the coffin - douses both with gasoline - and LIGHTS IT ABLAZE in a bonfire of glory!!! "XPW! XPW! XPW!!!" Winner: "SICK" NICK MONDO** CUT ** [glow=red,2,300]*****************************[/glow] From XPW TV Episode #31 [/size][/color] SWITCHBLADE CONSPIRACY versus THE OLYMPIA (w/ William Muldoon)(Losers Must Disband)[/size][/color] versus with Backstage - Switchblade Conspiracy (Jon Moxley & Sami Callihan) were in the midst of a locker room-destroying rant, when William Muldoon (alerted by the sounds of ruckus and destruction coming from the locker room) enters as the voice of reason to these two uptight, angsty young competitors. Words are exchanged between the stoic Boston champion William Muldoon and the mean and nasty Switchblade Conspiracy, resulting in the following stipulation: LOSING TAG TEAM MUST DISBAND FOR GOOD! Muldoon accepts the challenge, and after commercial break both teams get their TV entrances.
More of a strong-style, mat based tag match as opposed to the aerially-dynamic contest earlier between BLKout & the Pitbulls. It just displays yet another facet of XPW Remixed's exciting tag team division. Mosley & Callihan are grimy, brutish brawlers with a nasty submission game - and both looked prime for single runs after hitting the tag team glass ceiling here. Meanwhile, Mascaras & Hakushi have rededicated themselves to the tag division and it shows here tonight. The heavyweight Luchadore Mascaras and the ninjitsu warrior Hakushi dazzle, amaze and plain out-wrestle the Switchblade Conspiracy tonight. In the matches finishing sequence, Hakushi uses a Matrix-like move to dodge a Moxley clothesline-from-Hell (that winds up taking out Sami Callihan instead) before Mil Mascaras crushes him with a frog splash cross body block from the top rope! 1!... 2!... 3! The Switchblade Conspiracy have been disbanded!!! Winners: THE OLYMPIA** CUT ** [glow=red,2,300]**************************[/glow] From XPW TV Episode #31 [/size][/color] "BEST of the BEST 1" Semi-Finals[/size][/color] MASAHIKO KIMURA vs TOMMASO CIAMPA (w/ William Muldoon)[/size][/color] vs with Awesome choice for an opener, as the crowd here is just ridiculously hot. Both camps (the Olympia, and Kimura's cornerman Dan Severn) receive thunderous ovations from the crowd. They all exchange customary Eastern bows as well as Western handshakes to start the match. Severn & Muldoon remain at ringside as cornerman, and although they are both emotionally involved and shouting instructions and counters - they remain physically uninvolved. That leaves Judoko master Masahiko Kimura to write a mat classic with the future of Boston-area wrestling Tommaso Ciampa. Ciampa with the strength advantage, but Kimura uses leverage and master-level skill to dominate and control Tommaso on the ground. In the end, an exciting chain of counters leads to Ciampa juuuust about to execute "Project Ciampa" (similar to a modified Back Stabber) but Kimura spins out with a reversal and sinks in the Kimura armlock! Ciampa fights the leverage hold immensely but is forced to tap, lest his arm snap! Kimura earns the victory, and though Ciampa is disappointed, he and Muldoon exchange the handshake of mutual respect with Kimura & Severn. Shooters Club reigns supreme tonight!Winner (by submission): MASAHIKO KIMURA____________________________________________________________________________ CREDITS: SNOOP DOGG: "California Vacation" lyrics featuring Game MIZ: MTV Geek interview (8/12/11) MATT STRIKER: DoI Interview JESSICA DARLIN: RogReviews interview (July 1998)[/i] [/center]
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