Post by Leo on Jul 4, 2020 12:15:48 GMT -5
Continental Championship Wrestling on Sports Channel America Special Presentation
The camera opens up on Gorilla Monsoon and Honky Tonk Man sitting in high-back deck chairs in the middle of a wrestling ring. The ring is in an empty studio where bleacher seating can be seen on three sides.
GM: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this special presentation on Sports Channel America. An introduction to Continental Championship Wrestling. I’m the company’s new play-by-play announcer Gorilla Monsoon. And next to me is my broadcast colleague, a very colorful color-man indeed, the Honky Tony Man.
HTM: You know, Gorilla, I wrestled in CCW earlier in my career and I’m thrilled to be back here now. Especially since the money’s good and I don’t have to wrestle. Just run my mouth.
GM: And we both know you can do that.
HTM: Even though the money is good, I like to know where it’s coming from so I know it’s a reliable source and Ron Fuller’s new money man hasn’t announced himself yet.
GM: That’s true, but we have been promised that CCW owner Ron Fuller’s silent partner will not be silent for much longer as he will be appearing later in tonight’s program.
HTM: So far, this guy has been doing pretty good. He’s bringing in new talent and scored this television deal with SCA.
GM: That’s right, Honky. Every Saturday morning from 10 a.m. to noon eastern, you at home can thrill to the spectacle that is CCW on Superstar Saturday. And if you’re lucky, even be part of our studio audience here in our new studios in Dothan, Alabama.
HTM: Plus, SCA will be having special presentations once a month of the CCW Super Shows taking place in arenas all across the country. The first is scheduled for Aug. 9 and will feature the finals of tournaments to crown new Southeastern Heavyweight and Southeastern Tag Team champions.
GM: And we’re going to break down brackets for both those tournaments later in tonight’s program. However, if you look at those lists, you will see three names very conspicuously absent. Those names being “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin” and “Macho Man” Randy Savage.
HTM: That’s because all three have bigger fish to fry. They are going to face off in a triple threat match at the Phoenix Rising Super Show with the winner facing Mash-Up Wrestling Men’s Champion AJ Styles at the September show.
GM: Part of CCW’s new found life is joining the MUW collective, which has certain privileges, like being able to book the MUW men’s and women’s champions. And two of those men, Austin and Flair, have held that belt in the past. But, right now, we’re going to hear from the third man, Randy Savage.
With a star wipe, we go to Randy Savage standing with a blank backdrop behind him.
RS: Oh yeah, finally the Macho Man has a chance to claim what has been rightfully his all along and that is the MUW Men’s Championship. AJ Styles you can run, but you can’t hide from the madness. Oh yeah. And maybe Steve Austin and Ric Flair has been to the top of that mountain before, but you know who has beat both of them and can do it again. The Macho Man. I own you both and got the receipts to prove it. Oh yeah. To be the man you got to beat the man. Did it and will do it again. Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass. Well, Savage 3:16 says I whipped your ass on WCW Worldwide in five minutes. The cream rises to the top and that’s just what the Macho Man is going to do in CCW.
Commercial
The camera returns to Monsoon and Honky Tonk Man in the ring.
GM: Strong words from the Macho Man before the break and we’ll hear from his opponents Ric Flair and Steve Austin later on, along with learning the identity of CCW’s new financial backer. But, right now, we’re going to take a look at the tournament to crown new Southeastern Tag Team Champions. Eight teams featuring 16 men.
GM: Our first match-up pits Strike Force, comprised of Tito Santana and Rick Martel against two tons of fun, the Natural Disasters of Earthquake and Typhoon.
HTM: There is no way that Chico Santana and little Ricky Martel can get past those two enormous men. They’re getting squashed right out of the gate.
GM: Next up we have the Steiner Brothers, Rick and Scott with Missy Hyatt against Badd Company, Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond, with their manager Col. Robert Fuller, brother of CCW owner Ron Fuller.
HTM: I don’t like the Steiner Brothers, but they’re a hell of a tag team, I have to admit that. But when you compare Missy Hyatt to the colonel. I know who I’d want in my corner and that’s going to be the difference maker for Bad Company.
GM: Going to the next half of the bracket we have the battle of the midnights. The Midnight Rockers of Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty facing off with the Midnight Express of Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane.
HTM: Those pretty faced punks the Midnight Rockers are my bottom ranked team in this whole thing. The Midnight Express are too experienced with too good of chemistry with each other. They could just win this whole thing, Gorilla.
GM: And finally, American Alpha of Chad Gable and Jason Jordan will see action against the Butcher and the Blade with the vile Woman at their side.
HTM: You better not let her hear you say that. She’ll have the Butcher and the Blade cut you down to size Gorilla. Butcher and the Blade might be new to wrestling overall, not just CCW, but they are mad, bad and dangerous to know. I can tell that just from looking at them.
GM: And now, before our next break. Some words from another man part of that big upcoming triple threat, Ric Flair.
Star wipe to Ric Flair wearing sunglass and a spiffy suit sipping champagne out of a flute while sitting in a lounge chair poolside.
RF: You can tell the Nature Boy is really sweating this upcoming triple threat match. The only thing making me sweat is this hot sun and all the ladies around the swimming pool. Woo! The MUW Men’s Championship is the most prestigious title in professional wrestling today. I’ve held it once, I’ll hold it again. Many people say Ric Flair vs. AJ Styles is a dream match, well it will be a nightmare for him. Woo! And as far as Randy Savage goes. You’ve beat me just as much I’ve beat you, I’ll give you that. But what I won’t give you is a win at Phoenix Rising. And as far the Nature Boy is concerned, Steve Austin is nothing but a fifth wheel. You get in my face, Austin, and I’ll slap that can of cheap beer out of your hand. Because there is one thing the fans in CCW will learn really quick is that diamonds are forever and so is Ric Flair. Wooooooooo!
Commercial
We return to Monsoon and HTM sitting in the ring.
GM: One thing I’ve noticed Honky is how Flair and Savage both seem to be dismissing Steve Austin.
HTM: That’s a dangerous strategy Gorilla.
GM: We’ll see what Austin has to say for himself before the next commercial break. But, right now, let’s take a look at the Southeastern Heavyweight Championship tournament bracket.
GM: We start off with the Man Called Sting against the Magnificent One, Don Muraco and his new manager, Robert Fuller.
HTM: Sting is a hell of athlete, but he cares too much about the fans and playing to them. Muraco can beat him in the power department and Fuller has him all day on brains.
GM: Then the Mighty Yokozuna faces “Wildfire” Tommy Rich, a former NWA World Heavyweight Champion.
HTM: Back when high button shoes were in style. The only time Tommy Rich sees a title belt anymore is when he’s polishing someone else’s. You forgot to mention that Yokozuna is a multiple time WWF World Heavyweight Champion.
GM: Sheamus then sees action against “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.
HTM: The sooner Duggan is out of this tournament the better for everybody. He’s an idiot, a moron and buffoon all wrapped up in one. I like what I see in Sheamus a lot.
GM: Then to finish off this side of the bracket the Universal Heartthrob Austin Idol with Missy Hyatt takes on “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert. If memory serves, Hyatt and Gilbert were together at one time.
HTM: Yeah, then Eddie got smart and kicked her to the curb. Missy will attach herself to any guy and Idol will pick up any girl, so they’re perfect for each other. I’m also told, Gorilla, that Gilbert is bringing some associates with him to form the strongest version of Hot Stuff Incorporated yet, and maybe the scariest.
GM: Starting off the bottom half of the bracket we have Dave Bautista with Woman vs. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka with Missy Hyatt. It will be interesting to see how the two women interact at ringside and what impact they will play.
HTM: They just need to let these two guys go at it. I’ve been in the ring with Snuka and he’s an unpredictable wild man. But he’s never been in the ring with Bautista who I’m told is even more of an unpredictable wild man. He’s a complete beast and Woman will give him the guidance he needs to go far in this tournament.
GM: Then we have two men known for their punching prowess. The Man with the Hands of Stone, Ronnie Garvin against the Big Show and he’ll be guided by Robert Fuller too.
HTM: This bout is all about who lands a right hand at the right time. Both these men can knock you out with a single blow out of nowhere. I’m looking forward to this one, Monsoon.
GM: Speaking of giants we have two of the tallest men in wrestling battling in Big John Studd and Vinnie Vegas.
HTM: Studd was never any good without someone like Bobby Heenan guiding his career. He just stumbles around like the bug lummox he is. Vegas has a lot of bodyguard experience and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got someone behind him, we just don’t know it.
GM: And then we close with two of the lighter men in the tournament, Paul Burchill and Adrian Street. The exotic one is one of the few leftover talents here in CCW.
HTM: The Honky Tonk Man is all about personality and Adrian Street has it all over Paul Burchill. He’s bland, he’s dull, he’s boring and those are his good qualities.
GM: It’s quite a line up indeed and we’ve got quite a triple threat indeed scheduled for Phoenix Rising. Let’s hear from the last man in that match. Steve Austin.
Star wipe to Steve Austin riding up into camera view on a four-wheeler outside.
SA: Randy Savage wants to run his mouth about beating me. Ric Flair wants to run his mouth about me being some fifth wheel to him vs. Savage part one million. Both want to look past me to AJ Styles. Well that’s just fine. Look past me. Because at Phoenix Rising it’s going to be a Stone Cold Stunner to Flair. A Stone Cole Stunner to Savage. I’m going to stack them up on top of each other. Pin them both at the same time for the 1, 2, 3. And then I’m going to drink a couple Steve-weisers over their bodies. Then come September. It’s going to be a stunner to AJ Styles. Another 1, 2, 3 and another can of cold Steve-weiser over the former MUW Champion. And that’s the bottom line because Stone Cold said so.
Commercial
The camera returns to Monsoon and HTM in the ring. They are now joined by Ron Fuller sitting in a third chair.
GM: It’s our pleasure to welcome CCW owner Ron Fuller. A lot has been going on with your company the past few months.
RF: That’s true, Gorilla. But it’s all been worth it if that means we’ve got this great television show and fantastic talent like you and the Honky Tonk Man. You know…
Fuller is cut off by loud screaming of “no, no, no.” The camera pans to find Andy Kaufman emerging from the back. Behind him is his bodyguard, Vinnie Vegas. Lawler has a microphone and speaks from the floor. He points a finger up at Fuller in the ring and shouts.
AK: I will not have you come out here and take credit for everything I’ve done. I’m the one who got the television deal with Sports Channel America. I’m the one who had CCW join the MUW. I’m the one who arranged all the new talent acquisitions. I’m the one getting AJ Styles to come here in September.
GM (addressing Fuller): Can we take it that Andy Kaufman is your new partner and financial backer?
AK: Yes, you can Mr. Monsoon and you can take that to the bank.
Kaufman looks directly into the camera.
AK: For those of you who don’t know me, and I don’t know anyone in America who doesn’t. I am Andy Kaufman. Star of theater, television, movies and professional wrestling. I’ve taken out the likes of Jerry Lawler and I’ve defended the Intergender Wrestling Title against women all over. But, now I’m setting my sights a bit different. I, Andy Kaufman, am the new power behind the throne here in CCW.
Fuller stands up. As he does so, Vinnie Vegas comes forward.
RF: Now, hold on there Kaufman. I still have controlling interest in this company…
AK: A mere formality. You try to stop me on anything Mr. Fuller and all my Hollywood money goes away. This nice new studio, the Andy Kaufman Studios, goes away. All the new talent goes away. The TV deal goes away. And if you want to step to me, then I’ll have my bodyguard Vinnie Vegas take out the trash.
Fuller sits back down.
AK: That’s more like it. Continental Champions Wrestling is here to stay on the national landscape and so am I. In the coming weeks, you will hear and see much more from me. That is a guarantee to you Mr. Fuller, you Mr. Monsoon, you Mr. Tonk Man and all of you wretched, despicable hillbillies watching at home.
Kaufman slams down the microphone and walks off with Vegas in tow.
GM: Well, that was certainly quite a debut for the new part-owner of CCW. I’m sure we’ll see more of him and the first part of our title tournaments next week on the first episode of CCW Superstar Saturday right here on Sports Channel America.
Monsoon joins Fuller and HTM in conversation about what just happened as we fade to black.
All rights reserved. Andy Kaufman Enterprises. 1980-something.